Follow Up

This is my follow up to a post I'd written just after comin' back to Denver from LOS in August of last year. Now I’ve been here in Bangkok for over 6 months. I live off Soi 12 in a quiet apartment with my two cats and most of my furniture I dragged over here from the US with me. Oh ya, the bargirl “fridge gurl” who I'd met last time lives w/me as my 'wife' as well.

When I got back into Bangkok she met me at the airport, let me stay in her 'loom' until I found a place. It turned out to be well over a month seeing as no one here in Bangkok wanted to let me have cats in an apartment. I even toured a place which had over 20 cats in the reception area as well as one sleeping in the lift. I pointed to the cat sleeping in the corner as we rode up to the floor to see the room, and the lady said, “Maybe he dead. Cannot have cat here.” Go figure…

During the time I lived w/her she continued to work, and although she didn't 'long time' anyone but her 'regular' customers who flew into Bangkok monthly. It was an experience I wouldn't recommend to anyone who doesn’t have a high tolerance for self abuse. There wasn't a lot of, "So how was work today?" banter after she'd come home at 2:00AM.

Me-“How was work today hunny?”

Her-"Had three customers short time tonight."

Me-"Oh only banged senseless by three guys?"

Her-“Made 4500 baht though.”

Me-"How about givin' it up for me too…"

More often than not she'd come home piss drunk, throw up in the toilet, then crash out until noon the next day when she'd shower, get dressed, and go back to Lucky Luke's to pick up a short time in the afternoon, until she had to go to her bar and dance.

Now this girl pulled some serious cash, and in the month I stayed w/her made well over 84,000 baht. Her regulars from Canada, Austria and the US would pay her between 3 and 4,000 a night and one even paid her in 100 US bills each day. She was definitely makin' money, even had several hundred thousand baht in savings. Surprisingly, she had no concept of doing something other than working, and like all the girls I know here, she thought oh well, it okay to spend all I have today 'cause I'll just work tomorrow. She was also drinkin' over 1,000 baht of liquor a day, which is a lot of Sang Som.

The hardest thing I think I've ever done was help her get dressed, do her make up, straighten her hair, kiss her on the top of the head and say, "Have a good day at work, be safe." then watch her walk out the door. Staying in her room was terrible; being surrounded by all her stuff, pix of her daughter, etc. I didn't go up to NEP when she worked and wouldn't even go into the Nana Hotel when she had a regular staying there. Its one thing to accept in my mind that was her job, but another to see it with my own eyes.

Now other than pay half the rent on the room, 2,500baht, and splitting food costs, I'd given her nothing since I got back into Bangkok. I enjoyed the time I'd spent w/this girl, (the only one I've ever been w/in Thailand). She's university educated, speaks good English (for a Thai), was fun to be around, but her job was too much for me to deal with, and I knew either things hadta change or I'd hafta leave her.

I remember one time she went to Koh Samui for 10 days w/a customer, then had 3 days off until the next regular flew in from Austria. The guy who she'd been to Samui with called and SMS'd constantly once she got back. Finally when she was asleep and the phone rang I answered; "Hi Peter, this is her boyfriend in Bangkok, she's off work for only three days until the next customer flies in, and it's my time w/her now, so please call a little less, ok?" Needless to say, I was greeted by complete silence and the hiss of the international connection on the line, but at least the calls stopped. When she woke up she wasn't even that mad at me, and didn't mention it again…

Once I found a place which would let me have cats, she went w/me to see it. She wasn't dressed as a working girl but as a 'normal' Thai woman. Everyone at the building and on the Soi treated her w/respect; something I don't think she'd had a lot of living and working on Soi 4. That's when I told her once I got my place if she still wanted to work that we would hafta stop seeing each other. I already knew what her bills were for her daughter's international school in Saraburi, the money she sent her mother for their 'mini-mart' each month, her truck payment for her family, how much she gave her younger brother in university, and the "shares" she paid in those Thai pyramid money schemes. I told her I'd cover her expenses for 6 months but she'd hafta find some way to make money other than sell pussy. The only things I couldn't tolerate were seeing old customers or lying.

So far after 6+ months of being together I've got to say she's held up her end of the bargain, and has kept house, cleaned, ironed, washed, cooked, and done all the domestic chores for our life. We've traveled to her village 5 or 6 times, gone to look at businesses in Pattaya, Jomtien, Saraburi, and here in Bangkok. She's listed a line of Thai cotton and silk skirts she designed and had made on eBay, and is in the process of finding some shops in several 'hi-so' tourist towns in the US to carry them as well. She even paid half on our new car. It's a "peach" (read pink) Honda Jazz. I don't drive it, but she uses it for her business and to go up to see her daughter. We use it when we travel but here in Bangkok taxis are cheaper than idling the car thru traffic.

I even managed to get a Thai Driver's License. From a place where the only word in English was "Restroom', lol.. It sure wasn't easy given the Thais didn’t give a shit if I understood the test or not, but again my ‘wife’ came thru for me and helped explain the tests. They were pretty simple all in all. If there’s anyone who has a valid license from their country, a non-immigrant visa, as well as a permanent address here who wants a Thai Driver’s License get a hold of me. It’s a cinch once you know what to do and I’ve helped several ex-pats get their licenses. I can tell you what you need to take, go w/you to the office, help you fill out the paperwork, and walk you thru the tests for ohhhh only 1000 baht for my time, lol.

I did get a speeding ticket on the way to Hat Yai over New Years, and the police man said it was the first farang he’d seen w/a Thai license. I asked if that meant I didn’t hafta pay the fine but he just laughed and sent me into the Police Station w/the 30 other Thais they’d signaled to pull over. It cost me 200 baht. My sister in America asked if they added ‘points’ to my license, lol. I told her they were more of a pay as you go country and unless you really screwed up, you just paid, got your license back and went on your way. Coincidentally when my ‘wife’ drove up to her village past Saraburi once we were back from holiday, she also got a speeding ticket for the same 200 baht fine. I guess New Years was a great time to add to the income of the towns as everyone was traveling to their villages.

I'd hafta say she seems motivated not to go back and sell pussy. Despite all my reservations, my distrust, the checkin' up on her I did (and do still sometimes). Once she SMS'd them she was quitting, spoke to a few of the more persistent ones who tried the "Can see you one last time?" line, she deleted the numbers from her mobile memory. She gave me the SIM card to break, and got a new number. From all appearances she's kept pretty much on the path to a better life. Do I trust her? NO WAY & I'd be crazy to. I think it's more important that I act like I do though. I’ve stopped reading the horror stories on this site, as it was makin’ me even more paranoid than I am about our ‘relationship’, lol. I do peruse the site for submissions by a select few who shall remain nameless, as well as tryin’ to win the Weekly Photo contest.

We do get down to Nana Plaza at least every week or 10 days, so she can visit her friends who work there, and drink a little or in her case a lot. The last time we were there she downed 10 Black Label & Sodas in just over an hour. After we got home she proceeded to “worship the Buddha in the toilet”, then slept the entire next day waking only long enough to say “Maybe I die soon…“ She doesn’t seem to realize that just because she used to drink hard every day, now that she doesn’t, she can’t drink like that and feel frisky the next day. Seeing as I don't drink anything but water or coffee, I keep an eye on her so it's all good.

Even though she never ever dresses like a bar-gurl, and always wears modest clothing when we’re out, I don’t like the way some customers treat her. I nearly threw a farang over the balcony at Cathouse the other week when he grabbed her ass as we went in. She’s really good at dodging their hands, but this time it was crowded, and she couldn’t get outta his way. I walked up to him about 3 inches from his face ‘n said, “I’da thrown you over the balcony already for touchin’ my wife like that, but I’m in a good mood tonight…” I went on sand said, “You don’t need to paw girls like that for cheap feels.” He actually apologized and seemed like he meant it. Then again I’m not a small person, walk w/a cane which is really more of a club, and having to suppress all my aggression dealing w/Thais makes me have a shorter fuse w/drunken farangs. Plus having lived here 6+ months, eaten nothing but Thai food, I’ve lost over 20kilos and really trimmed down. The sun still doesn’t shine outta my ass, but the other day I saw a light in the toilet when I sat to shit soo who knows… Not drinking is also a HUGE plus.

Again I can’t stress enough that the problems I’ve seen while sittin’ in the Plaza in the bars there and in Soi Cowboy are almost always related to farangs drinking too much, or treating the girls poorly in front of other Thais. It’s on their own heads if they get beaten to a pulp, and I don’t know of any ex-pat that’d do anything but watch a farang get beaten when it happens.

Sometimes it's tough seeing my ‘wife’s old regular customers when we're out, but hey whatcha gonna do? That was her 'job', and I can either accept it or stress out over it. Like the gurls always say, "up to you and of course; don't think too much…"

I do hafta relate this to you; I was at the Nana Hotel in October, w/a friend of mine who’d come over to see my life in Bangkok. Now it was maybe 1AM, and there was a guy who looked exactly like “Meatloaf” the singer in the parking lot, right down to the frilly shirt. A Thai gurl walked by w/a guy, and he exchanged words w/her. Then as she passed him, he ran up and punched her in the back of the head!! She stumbled forward, turned around grabbed him by his flowing locks, and kneed him in the head three times faster than you can read this. He fell to the ground, blood pouring from his nose, then she kicked him in the ribs over and over. She turned to go and he got up and came at her again. She used her elbow and punched him in the nose. We could actually hear the impact from inside the hotel! Twin jets of blood sprayed from his nostrils as he went down again, as she kicked him in the ribs a few more times. Then she straightened her dress and came into the hotel. My friend went outside and said to him, “Just give it up, get a taxi, tell your friends what ever story you want tomorrow about how there were 4 and you got 3 of them, but just leave because you just got your ass handed to you by a 5 foot tall Thai gurl who weighed maybe 40 kilos.” “Meatloaf” mumbled thru his mashed lips, blood still flowing out of his nose, but finally discretion got the better part of him and he stumbled off into the night.

I hafta confess I've become jaded to the entire ‘scene’, especially after knowing so many of the girls, their children, their families up country, and their lives like I do. It's a sad business, it really is, and although no one is holding a gun to these girl's heads to work, financially there's nothing out there in this country which can bring in the baht like the "I go w//customers for money" job they do. This really is a shit hole country as far as any real opportunity for most of the people to really do anything w/their lives. I mean that sincerely. I just wish there was some way to change the working girls idea of spend it all today and work tomorrow again. If someone could get the idea of profit sharing, or retirement into their heads (not anything that's gonna happen soon given the brick wall I've run into trying to talk to some about it) these girls could work a year or so and retire up country w/their houses, land paid for. Oh well, there I go tryin' to put first world values on a third world culture, again.

My stomach still tightens a little each time I see an old, fat, bald farang (gross generalization) dragging a beautiful young gurl outta NEP by the hand as if some mythical stopwatch has started. But if it's worth it to him to pay a coupla thousand baht to bang a girl he'd never even have look at him in his country, and she went w/him willingly, I guess on some level it's all good .

It's not been easy, especially seeing as the girl I'm with and call my 'wife' worked the Nana Plaza for almost 4 years. There've been times I wanted to just pile her stuff outside the door of the apartment, times we've fought like cats and dogs, but all in all those times are few and far between compared to the time we’ve spent w/each other. It's not been bad by any standard, ‘n given the difference in cultures, ideals, outlook on life, etc, it’s been damned good.

I doubt I coulda got things like; UBC, my internet, my home water delivery, my cats or most of the stuff from the US shipped in as easily as I did using her to speak for me. On the down side, her speaking English so well has made me lazy to learn Thai. It's too easy to say, "Tell them this…”. Thai isn't an easy language to learn, and the rising, falling, etc tonal nuances are something a fluent English speaking person will have a ton of problems getting down pat.

It’s strange and even though I speak English to many different people from all over the world here that have different accents, if I mispronounce a word they still put the sentence together w/syntax and the rest of the words. Thai’s don’t/ won’t do that, and if I mispronounce a word they act like the entire sentence is wrong or I've suddenly grown three heads. If I am pointing at a dog, and ask if it bites, I certainly don’t mean a horse. (Both dog and horse are the same word, “ma”, they just have different tones). So other than directing the taxis, ordering food I know, and other trivial things I don't speak. On the up side; my comprehension is way up there and I understand most if not all of the endless conversations goin' on around me.

I have looked into several things to keep myself busy. With my disability pension I really don't need to make any money to live here, even with paying her bills as well, although I won’t clue her into that fact, lol. I more wanna find something to do to stay busy, even if it doesn't generate any income. All in all it's a good life. It's been interesting, challenging, fun, and certainly not normal by any definition of the term. Even though the excitement of Soi Cowboy, NEP, the girls, and the bars has long ago left me, I do hafta say I love living here in as Stick puts it, "The Kingdom". I love Bangkok, Thailand, the King, Queen & Princesses, hate Thaksin, the police, the blatant corruption, the back-stabbing politics, but it's most likely no worse than any other country, just more out in the open.

I honestly don't see how people can come here year after year, buying into the illusion of colored neon, black lights, fluorescent paint, g-strings, loud music, and cheap liquor. The look and price of the working girls hasta be a factor I guess. Then again, people can be as shallow as they want to. Speaking of mostly sexually shallow, albeit fairly well educated, people; I do go to the Nana Hotel some mornings for coffee and the paper just to speak 'real' English and talk to a few friends who live there. Like goin' to NEP, it’s gotten old for me as well, and if I get in there once a week it's a lot for me.

We're off to Chiang Mai next week to visit friends I have up there, look at possible business opportunities, and just get out of the non-stop Bangkok life for a few days. Bangkok and Thailand in general is a great place, full of much more to do that Soi 4 and Soi Cowboy. Take some time to see some of it between the girls you bang. You'll be surprised how nice it really is here. I can stay as long as I want, don't hafta go back at all if I choose not to, soo I'll letcha know in another 6 months. Either I'll still have a good life with my 'wife', or it'll be an interesting read of yet another farang /bargirl tragedy for everyone to ooh and aah over.

Feel free to respond to this post. I don't imagine all the feedback will be good, and as Stick will say, "Generalized too much." but the feedback will be of interest to me. Anyone comin' to Bangkok for the first time, wantin' advice, or someone here to show you the ropes, drop me a line. My 'wife' and I can certainly show you the sites, where ever your interests lie, lol….

Stickman's thoughts:

Frankly, all this slang isn't easy to read. But any guy who loves cats can't be bad!