Readers' Submissions

A Vietnamese Tale – My Perfect Wife

  • Written by Anonymous
  • January 9th, 2006
  • 32 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

By The Lucky One

I have never been to LOS but will be visiting soon. I have spent considerable time in Vietnam & after reading most of the Stickman site I believe that there are many similarities between the two cultures. I hope my submission may interest some Stickman readers.

I’m a 33 year old Aussie male who visited Vietnam for the first time approx two years ago. A completely naive newby would be the best way to describe me back then as it was my first SE Asian experience. I had a few short business transactions with some of Saigon’s sexiest bar girls & quickly became infatuated with Vietnamese women. Two weeks later, I found myself in a disco / bar in the city of Danang. It was here that I met Thuy. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen & her smile melted me straight away. She spoke very little English but seemed keen to know all about me, using friends as translators as we asked each other questions. At the end of that night on my way home, Tin (my employed tour guide for several days) who had been at the bar with me made a huge point of letting me know that Thuy had told him “He is really nice man” & “I hope I see him again”. Inspired by this news, we again visited the same bar the next night.

Thuy worked in the bar as a hostess & dancer. When she danced (clothes on), most of the men in the bar had their chins on the floor, me included. When not dancing she moved from table to table around the bar, joking with the mostly Vietnamese male clientele & encouraging them (& helping them) to consume the overpriced drinks in as rapid a fashion as possible. I was quite chuffed that she spent most of her time around my table that night. As the evening came to a close, one of the Vietnamese patrons advised me that I should choose a girl to go with me back to my hotel for $50 US. I quickly pointed Thuy out to him but was immediately told “Sorry, not that one, Thuy is good girl, never go hotel”. He pushed me to choose again but my infatuation with Thuy was growing & I declined on his offer. Later that night I witnessed the beautiful Thuy being picked up by her parents on the family motorbike. On the way back to my hotel, Tin was very excited, claiming we were meeting Thuy at her request for coffee the next day & that she really liked me.

The next day we met for coffee & enjoyed a nice afternoon learning about each other with help from Tin. I learnt that she was 19, dreamed of marrying a western gent, wanted children, only wanted to love one man all her life, did not like Vietnamese men, did not like young men because they are too crazy, did not want sex until marriage (but was willing to compromise on that, once I convinced her that no western guy will go for that), hated working in the bar but did so to support her family & had never had a boyfriend despite nearly every guy in town trying to date her at one stage. I asked if she had ever had sex & she openly admitted that she had done it only once before, it was for money, but hated it & would never do it again. I was very impressed with her honesty. She asked me lots of questions & I must have given the right answers. Tin & I were invited to her house for dinner & to meet her family. She even took the night off work.

Thuy’s house was in the back blocks of Danang & it was obvious that her family & nearly everyone in the neighbourhood were very poor. We enjoyed a magnificent dinner before I received somewhat of a Spanish Inquisition from her family with the help of Tin’s excellent translation skills. Late in the evening & quite to my surprise, Thuy’s parents announced that they were happy for me to court their daughter but would like for us to spend most of our time together around the family home so they could see the relationship develop. They also told me they were very happy as Thuy had never shown interest in any man before & that had worried them greatly. So I became a somewhat permanent fixture at Thuy’s house & over the next week I fell in love with Thuy. Her humour, beautiful face, melting smile, perfect body, caring nature, family values, honesty, tenderness & grace had won me over in a big way. Her family were very hospitable & I felt like part of the family. I gave the family money so that Thuy did not have to work during my time there, giving us more time together.

Then suddenly over dinner one night, Thuy’s parents announced they were happy for me to marry their daughter. I was a little overwhelmed by this as I was certainly not ready to make such a decision & advised them of this. I was however happy that the announcement had taken place as that night (10 days after we first met) I received my very first kiss from Thuy. Sexual tension was building up inside & I was very pleased a few days later when we got a little steamy kissing each other & Thuy suddenly surprised me with “Yes, Ok, Yes” and a hand gesture indicating that her body parts below the neck were no longer off limits. We had sex for the first time on the concrete floor of the little jail cell she calls her bedroom. She was very shy hiding her body under a blanket as we did the deed. I died & went to heaven, awoke the next day & announced to the family that I would marry Thuy. I felt like the luckiest guy alive.

I spent the next 4 weeks around the family home meeting the extended family & friends, teaching Thuy English & enjoying sex no less than four times a day. One taste & Thuy could not get enough of it. The shyness disappeared quickly. Most nights Thuy’s father would refuse to take me to my hotel & I would spend the night with Thuy, despite a home stay being illegal for foreigners visiting Vietnam. Her father had a policeman friend who warned us when they might come knocking on the door, on which nights I would stay in the hotel alone. Unfortunately it came time for me to return home to Australia for work. I left money so Thuy did not have to work in the bar, could go to English school & get a passport during the four months until I could return. After a very teary goodbye, I returned home & we spoke on the phone every few days. I was impressed by how quickly she was learning English & improvement was evident each time we spoke. I educated myself on the very strict Australian Immigration procedures & decided that I would bring Thuy for a holiday in Australia to meet my family & see how she finds it here.

As promised, I returned to Danang after four months. It took most of the next month to obtain the many various documents required for Thuy’s Australia holiday visa application. I discovered that none of the various government departments in Vietnam could produce the documents we required in a sufficient time frame. I was most pleased with Thuy’s father who moved heaven & earth to obtain the documents we needed. This involved bribing half of the town to eventually be introduced to people who could obtain the documents quickly & then bribing those people to get the documents quickly. It was quite an expensive exercise but we eventually got all of the documents required & the visa approved.

Thuy came to Australia for a one month holiday. She loved it, my family grew to love her & she fitted in very well with my group of friends. We agreed to a course of action for the future. We would start applying for a spouse visa ASAP & once it was through my family would travel to Vietnam for the wedding ceremony. Thuy would then come to live in Australia & we would visit Vietnam at least once every year. Thuy explained that I would have to pay for the wedding & give a cash gift to the family as this was Vietnamese custom. She advised me that approx $5000 AUD would cover all my marriage costs. I had expected such terms & agreed to this amount. It was so much cheaper than an Australian wedding & I figured it was a small price to pay for a lifetime of love & happiness.

This time it took several months to get the visa application together. Again we had to bribe half of Danang to get the various documents & official stamps we required. I was amazed at how difficult coming to Australia is. It would appear you are guilty of everything until you prove yourself innocent when dealing with Australian Immigration. I had to fund two trips to Ho Chi Minh City for Thuy so she could do interviews & medical examinations. The costs really added up & I hazard to guess it cost me around $4000 AUD all up for the visa in the end. Thuy was growing impatient for the wedding to go ahead, claiming her & her family were constantly defending our relationship to the neighbourhood & extended family who did not believe we would in fact get married. I too was fed up with waiting for the visa, so we set a date for our wedding in Vietnam. I sent over the $5000 AUD we had agreed to & booked flights for my family.

Thuy had never actually asked me for money during all our time together. Then a week before I was to fly to Vietnam she phoned very distressed, claiming she had just been robbed when leaving the bank & had lost $2000 AUD of the wedding money. She was very upset claiming there was not enough money left to pay for the wedding. I couldn’t stand hearing her upset, believed her story & agreed to replace the lost money. My family & I arrived in Danang several days before the wedding. To my surprise, Thuy’s house had had a complete renovation & an extension & was now one of the nicest homes in the neighbourhood. Thuy explained that the family had spent the gift portion of the wedding money on home improvements as they were shy to have my family in their previous dwelling. My family were very impressed with the hospitality provided by Thuy’s family. A fun time was had by all.

Two days before the wedding, Thuy & I went to buy the traditional wedding jewellery. It was a lot more expensive than I thought it would be ($500 AUD) & to my surprise my parents were expected to pay for this. I kept this secret from my family & coughed up the money, a little annoyed at the additional expense but convincing myself it would all be worth it in the end. Then we had to deliver the wedding invites. I could not believe that they leave this so late in Vietnam.

The wedding day arrived & went without a hitch until after the wedding ceremony & reception, Thuy discovered that someone had stolen the money she had put aside for the photographer whom basically was a one stop wedding shop providing the dresses, makeup, hair, elaborate signs, photos, video etc. She was most upset & I begrudgingly agreed to again replace the lost money ($700 AUD). I was keen for nothing to spoil our day so quickly put it out of my mind. After the wedding ceremony & huge reception I returned to Thuy’s house with her family. My family went to the hotel to rest. Upon arrival at Thuy’s house, the immediate family members all piled into Thuy’s bedroom & frantically opened all of our wedding presents which were mostly cash in envelopes. Upon counting the money, the mood of Thuy’s family & Thuy changed for the worse. They were all very upset at the lack of money given. I tried at the time to convince them it was not important but later realised that Thuy’s family were keeping the money & the lack of it was a very big deal to them. Nothing was spoiling my day so I just accepted this & thought to myself “What do I care, they are happy & I am now married to the girl of my dreams.” A few more days were spent with Thuy’s family before we departed on a joint honeymoon / family holiday in northern Vietnam. A great time was had by all & after another teary goodbye, I returned to Australia desperate to get Thuy’s visa approved as quickly as possible.

Several months later & the visa was finally approved. A plane ticket was purchased & I would see my darling in 10 days. Five days later & Thuy phoned me once again very upset. Her mother was in hospital & very not well. She needed an operation that would cost $1000 AUD or she might die. Thuy apologetically told me that she could not leave while her mother was so sick. Desperate to see Thuy again as soon as possible & feeling I should help out as I was now a part of the family, I sent the money with the one condition that Thuy must get on her booked flight for Australia.

5 Days later & she was in my arms. The following months were the happiest of my life. Thuy adapted to life in Australia very well even liking the western food. My family laughed & enjoyed life more than we ever had before. My friends all grew to love Thuy very much. Thuy even became obsessed with my porn collection & we watched them together often. She seemed intent on learning everything she could from the porno queens & replicating it in our own sex life. She wanted to try everything & we did. Life was grand. The gods had favoured me & blessed me with a perfect wife. We never argued & life together was full of laughter. We began planning an Australian wedding ceremony & discussed having children.

Since we had met, I had been sending $150 AUD each month to Thuy’s family as I knew they would be struggling without Thuy’s income. They had never asked for it, but I sent it anyway because I wanted to help my new in laws & I could afford it. Thuy had been in Australia for almost 3 months. Money had become a little tight & I needed to be careful with my expenditure for the next few months. I still sent the $150 to Thuy’s family. Then one day Thuy asked if I could send more money to her family. Grandmother now needed an operation or she would die & the family needed $2000 AUD straight away. This I could not afford & explained this to Thuy. She took the news well & said I had helped her family enough that year & that her family would understand & I was not to feel bad about it. I heard nothing of it again.

There is a large Vietnamese community here in Melbourne & Thuy made many friends with Vietnamese Australians of all ages. Most of them she met over the internet after introductions from mutual friends in Vietnam. She loved the internet & would often be on line chatting with friends long after I had gone to bed. I didn’t mind because she always woke me up for sex when she came to bed. The friends she made mostly seemed good people but I had the feeling a few of the male ones did not like me for whatever reason. I put it down to jealousy. I particularly did not like one guy who often turned up out of the blue at my house & always seemed to want to take Thuy out somewhere without me & leave me home. Sometimes I tagged along just to piss him off. Overall, I was happy that Thuy was making friends here in Australia as it could only help her feel at home & happy.

Then, exactly three months after arriving in Australia, Thuy disappeared without a word, no goodbye, no indication at all she was unhappy, no note, no explanation, no contact details, nothing, bags gone, passport gone, mobile phone on bed, wife gone. I got her mobile phone records & rang the numbers trying to find out anything. Of course nobody knew where Thuy was or why she had left. I contacted Thuy’s family in Vietnam to let them know what had happened. They seemed unconcerned at her disappearance & said she would call me soon. I was certain they knew what was going on.

I contacted Thuy’s friends in Vietnam. Some of them seemed concerned & some didn’t but all claimed to have no idea where Thuy was or why she had left except for one. He started by telling me “Thuy very bad. Thuy never love Andrew. Thuy forever lie Andrew, Thuy mafia girl. Thuy obey, Thuy friends very bad. Andrew forget Thuy. Thuy no good. Andrew careful Thuy friends.” I could not believe what he was saying. He then told me that Thuy had been doing strip shows on my webcam, in my house for her other boyfriends. Sorrow, disbelief & anger engulfed me as I realised this was quite possible.

I tried the numbers in her phone again & to my surprise I discovered that one of her male Vietnamese Australian friends was a member of the local police force here in Melbourne. Thuy had recently made many phone calls to this guy which intrigued me some what. He told me the following, “Thuy was not happy in her relationship with you & that why she leave you. You should believe that & forget about Thuy. Get on with your life. She never coming back”.

“How can I do that, just forget, I love her, I want to see her, where is she?” I replied.

The answer put a shiver down my spine. “You must forget, you should think carefully & consider the safety of your family & it best you just forget about Thuy. You might be very sorry if you not forget, she not love you anymore, you forget Thuy”. Also you not go back to Vietnam ever again because not safe for you there now. Do you understand what I say to you?”.

“I think so”, I replied feeling quite overwhelmed by the conversation.

“I think you will understand, you should forget Thuy now” he said. “You do not want to meet Thuy new friends. Now I tell you that you must delete my number from Thuy’s phone, if you not do this, you will be sorry, Do you understand?”

I have not deleted the phone number but I don’t know if I will disclose it to the Immigration police if they ever come asking about Thuy. I think not. It is not worth the risk of endangering my family.

I contacted Tin in Vietnam. He was very apologetic as he basically told me the following. “I sorry, I must explain to you now. I not know Thuy very long before I meet you. I think then she is good girl but now I know she very bad girl & her family very bad people. Thuy family are big brother in her neighbourhood & her sister did marry mafia man. Everybody here is afraid of them. They very greedy & never share wealth with anybody. I very sorry Thuy lie to you. She is family business & many rich men here be her lover. I see many men come & go from her bedroom. I sorry. One guy even like 50 year old. I sorry”.

By now I was seething in rage & told him he was a total bastard for not telling me before now.

He said “I sorry, Thuy family give me money to keep all secret. They give money many people to keep all secret. I poor man. I need money. I sorry. You know she have mobile phone here but she hide from you”.

I asked him if he knew where Thuy would go. He replied “I know it true that Thuy have many Viet Keiu (Vietnamese who live in the west) boyfriends, they come here holiday & Thuy be boyfriend to them. I think Thuy have many friends in Australia & maybe have other guy waiting for her there. Now I help you so you know truth so now you send me $100 please & I find out everything more for you”.

[email protected]#k Off” was my quick reply.

I have heard nothing from or about Thuy since she disappeared 3 months ago. Her family & friends all ignore me or tell me to get lost when I enquire about her. Not one of her supposedly concerned friends here in Australia has enquired about her, despite supposedly not knowing where she is & promising to call me if they heard from her even just to let me know she is ok. Her visa has been cancelled & she is illegally in Australia now (I think, she could have gone home). I assume that she is still here, selling her body to rich Viet Keiu men & making some big dollars for her family. I will probably never know for sure.

For most of the past three months since Thuy disappeared I have been a complete mess. My heart was full with anguish & rage. Thoughts of revenge frequented my mind. My will to be a good person to others is no longer constant. I lost faith in myself, love, goodwill & the world. I felt overwhelming guilt at the pain I have brought my family. They all loved her so much & have struggled emotionally with her disappearance. I felt overwhelming embarrassment at allowing myself to be fooled in such a big way. These feelings have subsided somewhat but the emotional scars will probably always remain with me to some extent. I will never be the same person as before, for better or worse I am not sure.

I think back on things & ask myself questions about how I feel now. Do I wish that I never met Thuy? The answer would have to be NO. For nearly two years I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. The time I spent with Thuy was the most enjoyable relationship I have ever had with anyone. For a short time I did enjoy having the perfect wife, something most men will never experience. She had the looks & body of a model or an Alpha girl as Dana would put it & many men worldwide will only ever dream of shagging something so fine. Perhaps I am lucky to have been her Perfect Fool. The crash landing was very painful but the flight itself was a most amazing experience that I would trade for nothing. I do wish I had not lost quite so much money along the way. I was in love & it felt wonderful. The fact I was in love with a fictitious character being acted out by a very convincing actress does not change the fact that I was in love. I will always love the girl she pretended to be. I somewhat admire the girl she really is. The girl deserves an Oscar. She even gave me breakfast sex & a massage on the day she disappeared. Perhaps she did love me & has been forced to leave me by her family or other influences. Perhaps what I believe about her now are lies told to help me forget & not want to chase after her. I doubt it very much. Too many things fit that suggest I was scammed from the start & she was a willing participant.

Would I have done things differently given another chance? Of course I would. I have learnt a lot from the experience & from reading Stickman. There were signs I should have picked up on along the way but chose not to. I will list a few here for anyone currently considering or actually in a relationship with a Vietnamese girl.

1) I’m just an average, not wealthy, not good looking guy. She is exceptionally beautiful & she could have anyone in the world she wanted so why would she choose me to fall in love with.

2) Nobody else in Thuy’s family seemed to work at all. I should have realised that Thuy could not support the whole family on a good girl's income.

3) One person in Vietnam did advise me to be very careful in dealing with Thuy’s family & Thuy. This was not sour grapes at my relationship with Thuy. It was smoke & there was fire.

4) Thuy claimed to know nobody except me in Australia. There is a huge Vietnamese population here, many of who make regular visits to Vietnam & it was very unlikely that Thuy would know none of them.

5) When I was in Vietnam, Thuy was often reluctant to take me on shopping expeditions & left me at her house, claiming we would pay more for things if I tagged along. She often took what seemed an exceptionally long time on these shopping expeditions. Insist you tag along everywhere your girl goes. I believe now that saving money was not the true reason for me being left at the house.

6) Thuy seemed to receive romantic gifts from other men regularly. She told me not to worry as these men were just friends or men who wanted to date her & she only loved me & would never give love to another man. Don’t be the perfect fool like me & believe her.

7) She was just too perfect in the way she behaved & treated me. That perfect, she had to be pretending much of the time. Too good to be true.

8) She made strong friendships with people very quickly upon arriving in Australia. It did seem like she had been friends with many of them for years from her interactions with them. She had known them for years.

9) The first friend she made in Australia is male & filthy rich. Considering that Thuy’s family are so poor, this did seem a little odd.

10) Once in Australia Thuy seemed overly keen to be home alone whenever possible despite often having other alternatives thrust at her. I wonder how many other men have been in my bed & how many times she was naked on my webcam? Funnily enough, the 2 weeks before she disappeared, she was rarely home alone as my brother in law lost his job & was home everyday. I think this fact & my evident dwindling bank account somewhat brought about her sudden disappearance as she no longer had free time for other lovers / customers effecting her family's income.

11) I met her in a bar. Good girls do not work in bars. I really was kidding myself from the start.

I also have the following words of advice for anyone considering or actually in a relationship with a Vietnamese girl.

1) Beware of the good girl. If she seems over the top perfect then she is probably acting to some degree. The Vietnamese are very aware of what a western man looks for in a good girl & very adept at pretending to be that good girl.

2) If she is very beautiful, then just about every man in the world is interested in her including the unsavoury powerful people who really run the show in Vietnam. If her family are poor & don’t seem to work, then it is quite likely that they are a family of farmers who have lived for generations breeding, leasing & selling their daughters to provide a majority of the family income. Your girl may have even already been sold or leased to the mafia to pay off family debts. The mafia may be controlling your girl’s every action for their own financial gain. Daughters are like cattle to many poor Vietnamese families. Religion & fear are used to control the cattle. Sadly the daughters know no better & are often thrust into prostitution before they are old enough to make decisions for themselves (even before puberty). I know this because I have had several pre pubescent girls offered to me during my time there. I never accepted.

3) If you have a reasonable size Vietnamese population in your home country, then you are probably being dragged into a well organised immigration scam aimed at getting the cream of Vietnam’s working girls into the west where they can make a considerably better income for their families with the added bonus of fleecing you of your life savings in the process. I very much believe these scams exist & that is what happened to me.

4) If you are being scammed, it is highly unlikely that any Vietnamese person will warn you about it at all. They will stick together & enjoy helping to deceive you. Some will profit from it.

5) Many Vietnamese people are extremely racist. They do not like westerners. In fact, many despise us, but all love our money. When they smile at you or befriend you, they are angling for money & that is all. They do not like you really. When they laugh with you, they are probably laughing at you & the fact they are deceiving you so well. They are deceiving you all the time & hence are always laughing.

6) I would not say to avoid a relationship with a Vietnamese girl altogether but instead milk the situation in your favour until the big expenses start coming around. Enjoy the sex, enjoy being spoiled by your little princess & her family. Enjoy the love she shows you. Always remind yourself that this is not a permanent thing & do not allow yourself to dream of a long term future together. Drag it out as long as you can without spending too much money, or getting married, or buying expensive visas to bring her back to your country. When the big expenses come around, play the poor man & don’t help the family out. Once she thinks the money has run out, so will she most likely. If the relationship is meant to be, it will survive anything. Give it a long time (maybe five years or more) before allowing yourself to believe the relationship may last forever.

7) Ask yourself, before meeting your girl, were you lonely, were you longing for love, were you a little sex deprived, have you suffered depression, are you recovering from anything emotionally. Yes to any question & you are very vulnerable. Vietnamese scammers will sense your vulnerability immediately & target you. They are on the lookout for you always.

8) Do not feel sorry for any Vietnamese person because they are poor or forced into prostitution or for any reason whatsoever. Your empathy is their biggest weapon & will be used against you for the purpose of extracting money.

9) Do not be generous with your money. Once you are seen to do so, word will get around & you will be targeted even more so. I know now I was way too generous to Thuy’s family & most other people in Vietnam with the money I gave them. Too much & too often. The perfect fool. I also now realise that I paid way too much for almost everything in Vietnam to the financial gain of Thuy’s family & others.

10) Do not allow yourself to believe anything a Vietnamese person tells you. They gain face among friends when they successfully deceive westerners & get much enjoyment from lying to you about anything & everything. Remember always that many Vietnamese people truly despise you but love your money. They will team together to deceive you & get that money. You should not trust them easily.

11) Vietnamese men have very small dicks & you will not be able to tell if they are frequenting the same places as yours is. <Hmmmm, I know you are hurting, but this comment is probably invalid, at least about the places they frequent and the reasosn for doing soStick>

I can certainly say, that the majority of the things people complain about regarding the LOS on this site, also exist in Vietnam. The naughty nightlife is a lot more discreet & the Vietnamese police never seem to hassle westerners being the only real differences that I can see from what I have read on Stickman about LOS. Tiered pricing, hundreds of scams, racism against westerners, hotel scams, bill padding, deceit, lies, theft, bridal scams, sin sot, drugging, mugging, stupid people & corruption all abound in Vietnam.

Finally I want to defend the newbies who get scammed by Asian girls. While many Stickman readers are quick to label them stupid fools, I would guess that many of those readers were actually stupid fools themselves some time in the past. I can understand how many may have become so hardened by their own experiences, that they no longer feel compassion for anything & anyone. Others would be lucky enough to learn enough about the world prior to have avoided being scammed altogether & should feel lucky about that. It is very easy for a newby to get taken for a ride by a beautiful Asian girl, as they do not know any better & do not know what a Stickman reader knows. Many newbies are good people willing to have faith in & trust other people until proven otherwise. I do not think such people are losers for being that way. Some compassion should be shown towards them.

So here I come to Thailand. My lust for Asian females is now overwhelming. Caucasian girls no longer appeal. I’m smarter, stronger & ready to meet all the good, the bad, the beautiful & the ugly that Thailand can offer. I’m ready for another pretend love affair & all of the pleasure that comes with it. This time I too will be pretending. There will be no marriage, no sin sot, no large donations to families, no expensive gifts, no permanent visas to Australia, no real love this trip & there is a good chance there never will be. Of course, that is for the girls to figure out themselves unless I get sick of them first. I’m excited about pretending to be the complete newby to be targeted & where it may take me. Can I pull it off I wonder?

I wonder just how many good willed western men are deceived by Asian girls & then become hard, cold & intent on playing their own games of deceit with Asian girls. I wonder how many good willed Asian girls get deceived by those western men & then become hard, cold & intent on deceiving all western men they encounter. Is it a never ending crazy circle of life, creating masses of cold hardened deceitful Asian girls & cold hardened deceitful western whore mongers?

I am sure that many Stickman readers will have objections to some of the opinions I have put in this submission. They are my opinions based on my experiences & that is all. I have generalised & stereotyped on the Vietnamese population to a large degree. Of course there are decent honest hard working Vietnamese people in the world. I just have not met a single one yet among the hundred or so Vietnamese persons that I have spent any amount of considerable time with, although nearly all of them did a very good job of pretending to be honest, decent people & my friend. All of them have either been part of the deception to which I was victim or ripped me off or lied to me at some time. Sad but true. So my opinion of Vietnamese people is not a good one. That is natural, as I come from a society where trust & honesty are highly regarded traits. A society slowly being polluted by mass immigration from other societies where saving face is more important than these ideals, I should add.

I hope my submission may save the next Perfect Fool some of the heartache, anguish & expense that I have endured or at least help them on the road to emotional recovery in some way for those finding Stickmanbangkok.com too late, like I did.

Lastly I would like to commend the Stickman on a most awesome site. I, like many, wish I had found it several years ago & think every travel agent in the western world should be forced by law to recommend Stickmanbangkok.com to all travellers heading for SE Asia. I have read it front to back & its content has greatly helped me come to terms with my recent experiences. You should not underestimate how much your site can help the recovery of a western man who has been scammed, had his heart broken & left an emotional mess by an Asian lover. Thanks Stickman.

Observation:- Several tales about revenge crimes by bar girls on westerners have been posted (By bar girls trying to scare the deceitful westerner I suspect) but I can’t recall any about westerners who get some revenge on their deceitful bar girls & their families.

Stickman's thoughts:

A very sad tale indeed. For someone who has seen it all before, the tell tale signs were there early, sort of like a car spinning out of control, knowing that very shortly it was about to crash – and crash badly!

I know it isn't easy but for your mental health, you need to try and get over this. Don't become a woman hater over it. And if you are going to spend some time in Thailand, Thai women are quite perceptive about feelings and emotions and will pick up on any grudges or ill feelings you might have.