Stickman Readers' Submissions December 26th, 2005

Why I am Against The Sinsod – Point Of View From A Thai

By A Decent Thai Girl

As I mentioned in my previous submission (Thai Daughters and Freedom) that I do not agree with the Sinsod system, and after I read the submission 'Farang and Sinsot' by Nullih Noi, I have to send in this submission. It sounds like the author of the mentioned submission does not really know Farangs' society very well. The author claimed that the more money Farangs have, the worst they treat their parents, and that the Sinsod sum is proportional to the respect the man will gain from his in-law family. In fact, there are many Thais who think like the author of this submission. There are quite a lot of threads related to Farangs and money on various Thai webboards. The girls asked whether it is alright to ask for the money from their Farang boyfriend, and how much she should ask for. Or even worse; a Thai girl chatted with a Farang, who sent her money each month, even though he had never met her in real life.

Most Thais know about the Western society from Hollywood films. Due to the low cost of living in Thailand and the high exchange rate, it is not surprising that some Thais really think that Farangs are rich. However, not all Thais think like that. As I have spent almost six years in a country in Europe, I think it is very expensive to live here. Everything costs money. However, the social security system here is almost perfect. If people cannot find a job, they can ask for the supporting money from the government. However, this is not always enough to be able to survive, because of the high cost of living. People have to compare the prices, before they buy something. Because the same stuff does not always cost the same; it depends on the stores. There are a lot of taxes to pay which are almost 50 percent of the monthly salary.

In my opinion, Farangs do not treat their parents badly as some Thais may think. They get out of the family when they are eighteen or a little bit more to further their education in a university which is not in their home town, or they get a job in another town. However, they do visit their parents when they can. Christmas is a family's gathering time. Almost everyone goes home to celebrate this festival with their parents and relatives. It is quite lonely to stay home alone during Christmas, while people are celebrating with their family. My boyfriend has an aunt who is ninety years old and lives not far from him. Her son works in another town which is about 800 kilometers away from here. My boyfriend always goes to the grocery stores for her, and takes care of her when she needs help. And he often talks to his parents on the phone. My previous Farang boyfriend took care of his grandmother, who lived in the same town where he worked. Other Farangs that I know often visit their parents. Of course there are Farangs who get away from home and never come back to visit their parents, but I have not known anyone like this.

In order to gain respect from the in-law family, the sum of the money that you have does not matter. If the in-law family members like you after you pay a large sum of Sinsod, it is because they respect the money, not you. People have to respect who you really are, not the money you have. The Sinsod system was suitable to the Thai society in the past, because at that time the women stayed home, while their husband were working. However, in the present Thai society, more and more women go to work. Some women even earn more money than their husband. So, I do not see the point why a man has to pay the Sinsod nowadays. In the past, if the man left his wife, the wife could be able to live her life from the Sinsod money. But now, why Sinsod?

Is the Sinsod only about the Face issue? Probably. Or am I already westernized?

Stickman's thoughts:

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Your argument, to me, is totally balanced and fair. If you had an email address, guys would propose to you without even meeting you.

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