Stickman Readers' Submissions December 13th, 2005

Referring To The Case Against Si Sot

Referring To The Case Against Sin Sot

By A Thai Lass

Well .. first of all I’m Thai’s girl. Hope this not disappoint you. I was just couldn’t stand that one Farang stood out, talked about Sin Sod and Thai culture liked he knows better than Thai people themselves!!!

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I don’t mean to argue with anybody opinion but I don’t want leave you with negative information about Thai. I’ve seen “Anna and the King” and I don’t understand why the government banned this movie. There’s
nothing wrong in the movie for me. I don’t care what Anna did, she doesn’t bother me at all.

I’m married, my husband paid 200,000 baht for the dowry, is that make you call me a whore? I just came back for visiting Thailand last 2 weeks and I paid for the whole trip for both of us, me and my husband. Are you still calling me a whore?

Let me say this straight out: If you are a Farang, you may want to pay sin sod if you respect your future wife’s family enough. Let me say this again: If you are a Farang, you may want to pay sin sod if you respect your future wife’s family
enough. Thai people pay, why wouldn’t you pay to give them a respect of their culture?>> yeah .. you still can give people in different culture a respect even you’re a Farang.

I don’t really know what was Sin Sod for in the past, I don’t do my homework before I started writing this. But I don’t care what was in the past, I care about what it is right now!! You’re living now, do you? You don’t
want to get marry with the girl in the past (or you do?) well, if she is a girl in the past, she probably 80 years right now. Then stick with what they did in the past.

My opinion? I don’t really agree with this Sin Sod system but if it seem very important to the family, parent. And for doing this (pay for Sin Sod) doesn’t seem bother your life that much, why don’t just do it. Of cause with a reasonable
amount, I’m sure that the parent wouldn’t want their daughter to eat rice with salt (Thai way to say when you’re broke and can’t afford food)

What is the reasonable amount for Sin Sod? Depend on what class of your girl is. Middle class, high class, you might be asked for a bigger amount if your girl is from the higher class but not always. It’s still depending on what kind of parent
she has. If they’re kind of anything for my girl, then they might don’t ask for anything at all because they think they have enough for themselves or even for support their daughter later in case you dump her (or something else happen
and she has to go back to her homeland) But if you’re not that lucky, the amount that you pay, they should give you back some for both of you to starting a new life together.

But I agree if your girl says “If you don’t pay for Sin Sod that mean you don’t love me” I had problem myself with my husband about Sin Sod case. I told him when my parent asked us to have wedding ceremony before I live my
life with him.

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“I love you, if you don’t feel comfortable to do this, it’s fine for me. I will go with you, after I get a job over there, I’m sure I can save enough money to come back to Thailand and make my parents happy by getting marry

I’m lucky that my husband found out by himself that if the daughter just moves in with the guy by not getting married. That would make they feel ashamed, people will gossip about this house has daughter that escaping with the guy. Marriage is important
for Thai culture.

Where is the dowry goes? In my case, 200,000 baths for set the party, ceremony, gifts for my cousins (I’m Thai-Chinese, it’s a little different from pure Thai), our photo shot (of cause it’s not necessary but my husband agreed that
it would be only once it our life, it would be nice to have it) I asked my mom to bring out the gold that she has to be a faked set of dowry from him. I guess that is it.

Hope you get the other side beside Farang’s side with a negative attitude. If you decided to pay for a dowry, ask for a reasonable price that you can afford. If your girl really loves you, I’m sure you both can make it works together.

Good Luck

Stickman's thoughts:

Fair comments, but I'm not convinced. Your argument in favour of the dowry just wasn't strong enough. So far, the original submission has not been bettered. Come on, there must be some do-gooder farangs out there who can write a submission in favour of the dowry….

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