Readers' Submissions

Avoid The Beauty Queens From Danang



By Bering Sea Pirate

Well I finally decided to sit down and send a report to the famous Stickman site, (After 3 years of lurking / reading the stories & antics from other foreign travelers). Lordy I wish I had read Stickman's website before I had gone to Vietnam to meet my beauty queen.

One thing I've learned (it may not be true for all Asian girls) but that is, if you don't have the money, nor the intention to marry them one day after meeting them, they will run to the next guy in line.

Here goes my adventure into the land of trains, and taxi drivers in Vietnam.

I had first met Phan (that's not her real name) online in a Vietnam chat room and was smitten with her OMG-looks, and I was very happy that she would let me view her webcam whenever she was online, so after a few months of chatting and sending her money <why?!Stick>, I decided to go visit her, (with no intention of marrying her, just visiting!!)

This was going to be my first trip out of the USA and so I went thru the process of getting a passport, visa etc, and let me tell ya, that took some time / effort & money.

So finally in Nov 2003 I get everything ready and I take off for Vietnam, on China airline's, (a very cool airline's I might add). So I get into Hanoi, with no clue how to get from the airport to the Hotel I had paid online to stay at. Now keep in mind I was 35 at that time and I thought I was brave and could face anything, that is until I stepped outside and came face to face with Vietnam taxi drivers. (lesson number 1, never flash US currency if you don't want to be mobbed) <smile>

I finally get to the Hotel, (way over-paid the taxi driver $20.00)

I get settled into my hotel room, (and think to myself, "what the hell have I got myself into")

I wake up the next day and arrange to take a train to Danang. (to meet my online sweety)
Now I had done a little online research before going to Vietnam and I knew there were 3 different train options (I didn't want to go on the cattle train ride) and I was horny as hell so I took the fast train to Danang. ($100.00) Once again way over-paid.

Anyway, I'm on the train seemed like a decent car, the other people in the car with me couldn't speak English and I couldn't speak Vietnamese.

The train people served one free meal a day (this is almost a 2 day ride) I'm eating food drinking lots of bottled water and I decided to take my trash out and put into the trash-bin in the corridor. after a little while I noticed that the trash bin had filled up with people putting trash in and I couldn't figure out why the cleaning people on the train hadn't empted the trash-bin. (this is about 10 hours into the ride)

So finally some cleaning guy comes along and takes the huge garbage bag of trash and puts a new trash can liner in. Then he walks over to the outside door of the train car and throws! the bag of trash (untied) out the train. OMG I looked out the window and saw all this bottles / paper / paper drinking cups, chicken bones, fish bones, etc flying everywhere. I was in total shock, after I seen that I started noticing all along the train tracks nothing but garbage all the way from Hanoi to Danang. That was an eye opener for sure.

So finally the train gets to Danang, and I get over to the hotel I had booked online (Royal Hotel) that's a great place to stay, very friendly, knowledgeable girls at the front desk.

After I had checked in I showed the front desk girls the picture of my little cutie the girls at the front desk looked at me and told me they knew her, now I'm thinking "isn't that strange" Phan had told me she came from a poor family how in the hell does the girls at the front desk at this expensive hotel know her.

Warning bells are going off all over in my head.

She had told me online that she was a virgin, Never any boyfriend<–with her looks there's no way I believed that. and that all she did all day was cook and clean her Mom's small apartment, & go online to chat with me. (how in the heck did the girls at the Royal hotel know her then)..hmmmmm..

So I called her up and she comes to the hotel, and DAMN what a looker, Hair down to her butt, and D-size chest but she's to damn small 5'3 (I'm 6'2) so anyway we go up to the hotel room and I get unpacked and she insist we go see her mother. Talk about awkward, I know damn well what her mother is thinking, "here this nasty American came all the way to Danang to de-flower my daughter".

Now I had assumed chatting with Phan online for over 4 months that she could speak "some" English, well I was wrong.

We get back to the hotel room and right away she wants to get down to it, (I'm thinking this girl claims to be a virgin?) hmmm..so were going at it like two rabbits.

Warning bells are going off all over in my head!

I'm thinking to myself while having sex with this beautiful girl "how in the hell am I going to be able to afford the Xe-moto (moped) that I promised her online.

Well if you want more of this story you'll have to wait for the second chapter.<smiles>.

Stickman's thoughts:

Hurry up with chapter two or I'll delete chapter one!