Readers' Submissions

Thai Nightlife In Pattaya

  • Written by Anonymous
  • November 29th, 2005
  • 16 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

By Phiiseua

In Pattaya, where do the Thais tie one on? Are these farang-friendly? I have not seen the following locations for meeting Thai ying mentioned on Stick or other websites and forums. What follows is one person’s opinion based on very limited experience and is his first submission after years of relishing lurk mode.

Soi Esso

On the West side of Sukhumvit Road, approximately one half kilometre North of Bangkok-Pattaya Hospital are Sois 20 and 22. It is referred to as Esso because there is an Esso fuel station between the two.

Precipitation began on my first visit. It had a foreboding quality, which is Ominous Sign (OS) #1. The are over 20 baa bia and karaoke with three to ten casually-attired ying out front. Nearly all have the hallmark of tiny, multicoloured twinkling lights near entrance. No customers were seen during the entire time I visited. I chatted up the ying outside several re. service mix and prices. Each has their own ST room(s) or use a ST hotel on the block. The initial all up quote for ST includes ‘bar fine’, room on premises or in the hotel and tip to service provider. Asking 650-700 baht , they would quickly drop to 600 baht as I walked away to the next competitor.

One karaoke had about 7 ying. All were chatting me up and invited me in. We enter together and sit at one table. The darkness and volume of music impede communication. After being inside for less than 3 minutes I announced I was leaving and may return. One brought over a bottle of Coke, opened it in front of me, set it on table, accidentally (?) spilled some on my leg and requested 20 baht – though I had not ordered anything. OS#2. Before entering I had informed them that I was not thirsty and did not wish a drink. I reiterated such inside. Leaving the Coke untouched, I exited without paying. Call me kii niaow. It was not the nit noy amount, it was the principle. When surveying the other establishments I did not enter, no matter how insistent the invitation.

A few more places were interviewed. I stood in the middle of street in front of one to peruse the scenery before moving in to chat them up. There were about 8 ying out front. From the pitch black of their burrow emerged a bouncy f***-bunny. Her radar was locked on target (my wallet) and hopped out to greet me. Bunni was beaming a phan phan megawatt smile and exhibited continuous animated movement throughout our encounter. She stated that she was 20 years old. Her proportions were superior to those of most Thai ying her age. (If I were contemplating taking her out I would have done so only if she would let me scan her bat pra jaa jon. She did not look younger.) Definitely easy on the eyes. She immediately began groping me, massaging my d*** and embracing me. I kept pushing her away to facilitate the verbal part of the interview. The other bunnies were looking on with inured amusement at a street theatre drama which they have seen and acted in countless times before. I was being molested publicly. What was I to do – call the police and file charges of being assaulted with a deadly weapon and attempted rape? After one of the embraces she left her first mark: blood-red lipstick stains on my shirt (OS#3). I am convinced that the customers are the prey and the ying are the predators.

I must be phuchai ruup raw (handsome bloke) to make her so horney. (Translation: she needed a quick withdrawal from a walking ATM.) Prior romps with such spunky, hyper-animated birds have been disappointing in the sack. It is too much like a wrestling match. But they are sanuk maak outside the sack.

My little head comes up with the rationalization “I do not need to see all of the birds in this territory before taking one for a test drive. I can complete the Esso tour after a short break. The Stick readership deserves some insider information.” Interview completed and 600 baht paid up front, we descend into the burrow.

She bolted the door of this tacky grotto. True to her representation it did have a functional shower and clean towels (not always present in the Thai ST rooms in Chiang Mai and PTY). Her upbeat disposition is lots of fun disrobing and showering together.

In the sack, she wants to put on my party hat before the little brother is standing at attention (OS#4). I explain we need to wait for that and foreplay. A few minutes down the road, the party hat is on. Prior to jumping in the sack I had decided that she was too rambunctious to provide quality BJ. I merely announced that I did not want a BJ because that is the turf of the katoeys:). The thought of her providing a BJ reminded me of Dolly Dagger created by Jimi Hendrix. She noted the lubrication on the hat and came at me with a towel to wipe it off (OS#5). Other Thai bunnies have tried the same. I explain its function and she drops the towel. Has this bird graduated from bargirl school?

Bunni is one if the tightest ying I have met, though does not hold the record. She quickly revved up to high rpm. Cha cha and pawdii are not in her vocabulary. I flip her into several positions that minimize ying movement, in order to slow down this loco- motive. Bunni still perseveres at Energizer Bunny speed (OS#6). Recklessly flailing her arms, she inadvertently nails me in the eye with one of her nails (OS#7). I have had the accidental elbow in the eye or on the nose from a few prior ying when they are excited. But this was the first nail. I request that she be careful and then carry on. Time for a party hat check. For the first time in my life, I see a bloody mess (OS#8). I am looking patriotic with red blood on white skin over blue balls. I point this out to Bunni and she comes at me with a towel nonchalantly. I think she was ready to continue the horizontal party! I jumped into shower and invited her to do same. The superior lighting reveals blood on her too. I wash off before removing the hat and then after.

Did Bunni surreptitiously pull a fast one on me with the infamous chicken blood scam? Contracting avian influenza could be fatal in a few days whereas HIV would take years. What would I do if I did discover evidence of such? Before the disaster heads even further South – I start to make my exit. Bunni shows me the inner lining of her knickers, which were as white as a bunny tail. This corroborated her claim that she was not in prajamduen period. She denied being in pain. If it was friction tear I would expect the ying would have pain, though she may have denied such. I told her that I would not say anything to her ‘sisters’ and bid her farewell. My final view of Bunni shows that phan phan megawatt smile and undaunted mai pen rai attitude. What a wildcat trooper.

If you hypothesized yabaa (or polydrug), we share the same hypothesis.

Strolling promptly about 2 blocks away, I did not see anyone. Was carrying a bag with easily replaceable contents worth about 300 baht . The bag was wrenched out of my hand from behind. I spun around to face the culprit – a soi dog (OS#9). This was one of the largest I have seen – about 25 kilograms. He had set the bag on pavement and was hovering a half meter from it. The thief was snarling, growling and baring his fangs. He is less than 3 meters from me. I know that a series of rabies injections cost about 8,000 baht . I had no weapons nor did I see anything that could have been used for such laying around. An aerosol can of pepper mace would have come in handy. Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman flashed across my screen for a nanosecond. I had no idea of the magnitude or proximity of his backup – human or canine. He knows he could have easily run off with the bag at the outset because canines can outrun humans. He was like a drunken lout pub-crawling and looking to start a fight just for sport. He was trying to evoke fight or flight action from me. I elected neither course. I faced him calmly without moving or saying anything, while formulating something to say to him in Thai. He seemed bewildered and walked away sideways like a crab, at a slow pace. He soon vanished into the darkness. I retrieved the bag, held it aloft and walked off without hesitation.

South Pattaya Road

Between Soi Buakhao and Sukhumvit Rd. there are dozens of venues – nearly all with multi-coloured, tiny twinkling lights. That does not always signal p4p available. Many of these baa bia and karaokes were located several hundred meters from SPR and had a team of birds inside rather than on the sidewalk. The decibel levels repelled me, so did not enter any. Many were open air and enabled a view of the Thais enjoying themselves. No farangs sighted in this territory. I conjecture that: 1) farangs would be welcome (judging from the curious and inviting expressions of the ying), 2) p4p is available but would probably require developing more rapport with the birds than is customary in the farang scene, 3) Thai fluency would be required to navigate this territory, 4) many of these birds are only available via the PC equivalent of p4p. Called thiaw (dating), this would entail shopping expeditions funded by the generous farang.

For Nature Lovers: The Jungle

Want to play Tarzan & Jane, frolick with babes in the woods, have a bird in the bush and in the hand and go native? Take a walk on the wild side – “welcome to the jungle” (Guns & Roses). Only a 5 minute stroll South of the end of Walking Street and you are in the thick of it. The E-W concrete road that connects Bali Hai Pier with Pratamnak Rd. is named Chalermprakiat. It splits into an overpass, but the action is along: 1) the sidewalk on the South side of the ground level, 2) the asphalt road veering to the right and uphill that also connects to Pratamnak. Thai guys were emerging from the bush arm in arm with their ST jungle bunny. Their eyes were spinning in opposite directions – looking like they had just had their brains shagged out. Their ST bird would be fastening her clothing or wrapping a blanket around herself. The ying on the sidewalk or shoulder of the road gave me that hungry look and propositioned me verbally. One quoted 300 baht and grabbed for my d***. I wasn’t interested so did not negotiate but I think that that figure could be lowered to half the price of the working ladies on Beach Rd. Deep in the bush I could see a mattress near one player. There are underage here. As on Beach Rd., may be part of a sting. I am hoping that you paedophiles get ‘lost’ in The Jungle permanently. Wide array of quality here. There were several in their 20s who rated a 7. In contrast, there was a bird who had multiple facial bruises – looking like she had just lost a gloveless Muay Thai match. Another looked about 5 months pregnant. One said she only worked in the bush (no dual entendre intended). Another said she worked the bush as well as some sort of nearby room that had neither bathroom nor shower. BYOB, etc. “Life is a bed of roses.”

I only visited during early afternoons. Whether The Jungle is open for biz nocturnally is uncertain. Sorry, no insider info for you. I would not play that scene or even walk along the sidewalk there at night if you paid me. Takeout is available.

Miscellaneous

Naklua Beach and coastline proceeding N. from Dusit Hotel to Sanctuary of Truth is more scenic than Jomtien and Pattaya beaches. Koh Larn is more scenic than Koh Phuket and Koh Samui.

The tender ears of the innocent p4p angels prefer to hear nawn duay khan instead of yet duay khan. The y** word is synonymous with f*** in English, with same vulgar connotation.

What they enjoy is different than what they pretend to or profess to enjoy. In public including open air baa bia, they do not like to be pawed and groped. In contrast, when you enter the closed baa bia on Soi 6 and settle down on the couches behind curtains, be prepared to be raped. The ying do not enjoy performing BJ or back door. Discovering what turns both of you on simultaneously provides a greater erotic high than seeing how many orifices you can ram.

After a shag in a ST room in a Soi 6 baa bia, we descended to the baa and conversed with
another baa bird, who was easy on the eyes. I asked the bird I shagged if butterfly was a problem. She smiled slyly, pointed to her friend and declared, “Buttelfly no ploblem. Tomorrow you f*** my friend.” These were the only complete sentences in English that I heard a Thai utter during my 24 day PTY holiday. Ooooh – viable butterfly habitat discovered! These ying are so generous in sharing their ATMs.

I asked the working ladies whether they go ST or LT with Islamic guys. Each indicated without hesitation – no way, no exceptions. Though I saw many Islamic fellows I only saw one with a Thai bird.

One of the fair damsels on Beach Rd. explained what the trios of police officers are doing along Beach Rd. Her impression was that they were primarily honing in on the katoeys. The m.o. of katoeys is to lure their prey (deluded, mau farang blokes) back to the farang’s hotel room. Robbery of cash and valuables (jewellery, portable electronics) is committed. Violence is not unusual. It is common for the katoey to relieve the farang of 20,000 baht . The police are also checking IDs to ensure foreigners have proper documentation or no underage are working. A lesser target is uncovering yabaa dealing. LE does not hassle the ying who are of working age for conducting biz as usual.

An Ozzie bloke, whom I never met, was staying at the same hotel I selected at the same time. He had an altercation with his Thai tiirak, which turned his mind inside out. He couldn’t live with her or without her so he did a swan dive from his eighth floor balcony on approximately 1 November. The suicide attempt was successful. If any of you knew him or other tiirak-induced suicides, please submit reports. I would like to know what sorts of tiirak problems have pushed blokes to the brink. In contrast, Thai ying will oft slash their wrists superficially to manipulate the relationship but with no intent of doing serious damage to themselves.

A crowd of farang and Thai spectators had gathered on Beach Road one night. Traffic had come to a halt so the passengers and drivers could be entertained. Two Thai ying, who appeared to be working ladies, were having a catfight. They were rolling around on the ground, swatting, scratching, screaming, etc. No one stepped in to stop the show. As I approached closer a Thai bloke stepped up and pushed them apart. Shortly thereafter one of the birds took flight.

On Beach Rd., about 200 meters from the police station (Soi 9) I was chatting up a working ying who appeared to be near the underage mark. I was not interested in a ST thrill with her. I was merely testing my age estimating acumen. At my request, she presented her bat pra jaa jon. It displayed the number 2531. As I departed I commented that I thought she was suay but I was seeking someone age 20 or over. Go for it paedophiles. You can win an all-expenses-paid vacation in one of the branches of the Bangkok Hilton for ten or twenty years.

Have you noticed how malodorous Walking St. is during morning, afternoon and night? There are many inputs to this foul stench, which is only transiently diluted by some incense or cooking aromas. Without the olfactory-anaesthetizing alcohol and smoking intake, the stink is obnoxious. Most streets with heavy pedestrian traffic in commercial zones of any of the 30 Thai cities I have visited have similar stench.

I regard myself as a butterfly. I pay only the going rate, tip with kanom (because I am sugar daddy of the hour), conceal my financial $tatus and do not make BS promises. At the outset of my conversation with any working ying, I proclaim that I am jao chuu. Nonetheless, I paid boyfriend and took the same ying (A) back to my hotel room for ST four times. Each time I told her of my sexploits with other baa bia ying. A few hours prior to departure I had just finished a ST with another lass. I strolled to A's baa to say farewell. As usual, she was having a drink with a phuchai ruup raw 20 years my junior. I briefly announced that I was headed for Farangland in a few hours and was dropping by to say farewell as well as assure her that I would look her up on my next PTY holiday. She looked distraught and her gaze was shifting from the other gent, to me and to the mamasan. Though I had hoped for a longer farewell, I did not want to jeapordize her business with the phuchai ruup raw so I stood up to depart. At last glance over my shoulder I saw her conversing with the mamasan. Ten minutes later I entered my hotel room. Within a minute the phong rang. Guess who? A stated that she was in lobby and wanted to see me in my room. I welcomed her in. I was wearing only slacks. She embraced me tightly. Her tears streamed down her face and onto my chest. We echoed each other, "kiitun khun". My lachrymal glands were triggered. Explained I was too "tired" for a ST, wanted to pack and nap alone for a couple of hours prior to departure and wanted to see her in future. She shuffled out the door slowly and I bid her adieu with chok dii. I have her mobile #. Will I make that call? Soap opera to be continued in another submission.

Wrap

I did not hear any English spoken in the three Thai venues nor did I utter any. To navigate any of the three and have the most sanuk, some Thai fluency is requisite. Carry small denominations of currency and pay for each drink or service as soon as it is received. Farangs are welcome in all three but were sighted in none. No katoey sightings in any. More in depth reviews and photo essays by other readers would be welcome. I conjecture that Thais could negotiate FS for 400 baht in Esso and 250 baht in The Jungle. Prices along SPR are probably comparable to or slightly higher than Esso prices. The ST rooms in Esso are on par with or somewhat more primitive than the ST rooms in baa bia on Sois Chaiyapum, Lengkee and Six. In contrast to the three predominantly down-market venues, some upmarket venues are probably available. Perhaps SPR has some upmarket action. Other likely locations are along the roads leading to golf club houses.

Stickman's thoughts:

I thought there was enough variety in Pattaya already.