Stickman Readers' Submissions November 12th, 2005

Shanghai Girls

I go there about once a month. I'm a fairly top level executive and I have a rich Chinese associate who I go with to Karaoke Clubs. He likes to sing, what can I say? He always arranges for one of the girls to go back to my hotel with me; once I saw
him pay the girl: 3000RMB or a little less than US$400. Short time. I kid you not.

The girls don't care. They're paid upfront and have no incentive. One girl I was with actually had the nerve to tell me to "hurry up" as she wanted to leave and go home. They never carry condoms. They don't let you shower with
them. And they're up and out in a flash the moment you finish.

He Clinic Bangkok

I was with my friend recently and the girl I was with was from Mongolia- very exotic, high cheekbones, creamy white milky skin. Excellent English. Wearing a flaming red cocktail dress. When we were ready to leave, my friend asked her if she wanted to
go home with me. She gave me a look and said "why not?" I should have known.

The club gave us a Mercedes to go back to the hotel (the top 5 star place in Shanghai). Two minutes from the hotel she says "You have condom?" Damn. About face; find 7-11 where she sends the driver out with instructions. He comes back: two different
types of condoms (one flavored), and a pack of chewing gum. She unwraps the gum and sticks a piece in my mouth. Was it something I said?

Up in the hotel room. (Digression: It's now 230AM and I have a breakfast meeting with a key supplier at 8AM the next morning).

CBD bangkok

Back to story. 230AM. In hotel room. Ready for some action. In the club girl had changed out of slinky sexy red cocktail dress to casual shirt and jeans. Still looks great. Her name is Ling Ling.

"I'm hungry". All right. I've been there before. "What do you want?" "Noodle soup with beef". OK. This is a five start joint. It's 3AM. Why not? I call room service. "Noodle soup with beef." "Sorry.
Don't have". "What do you have?" "Wonton soup with pork." Bingo. I order. 30 minutes.

Let's take a shower. Nothing doing. She isn't moving a muscle until she's fed. Lying there on the bed. I figure. 30 minutes. A little foreplay. A snuggle. Absolutely not. Arms crossed. She lies there. I lie there next to her.

330AM. Room service arrives. One very disaapointed lady. "I asked for noodles and beef!". That's what you get. You eat it or go hungry. She eats. 4AM. I convince her to take a shower. First, she has to examine my toiletries kit. I don't
know about you, but I carry what I suppose is the usual stuff. Shaving cream. After shave lotion. Deoderant. Mouthwash. She's never seen a guy before with this stuff. Starts saying I'm a girl. What do I need this stuff for?

wonderland clinic

Shower. OK. That's nice. In bed. I go to work. I still don't know about you, but I like to spend some time before getting down to, um, insertion. So she's on her back, and I'm working her over. Lips. Neck. Breasts. Stomach. Kissing.
Licking. Catatonic. (Her, not me). Doesn't move a muscle. Is without a doubt the deadest woman I have ever been with. Not a peep. Not a twitch. After 20 minutes of this (or maybe it just felt like 20 minutes), I look at the clock. 5AM. meeting
in 3 hours. Hell with this. I climb on top, and finish quickly. Why go through the motions? She says, "Are you done?" "Yeah, I'm done." "Boy that was fast" she comments. "The only person faster than that
was my first boyfriend. He was 17. Older men like you should last longer". Thanks. If you hadn't lain there like an extinct dinosaur I may have wanted to take the time. No I didn't say that. Still have my manners.

Roll off her. I'm now lying against her; she's still on her back. She wants to talk. Great. I look at the clock. She wants to know how often my wife and I do it. Whether my teenage son does it. Stuff like that. She's pretty direct, and
personal. 10, 15 minutes go by. I notice some movement down below. I run my fingers lightly down her arm until I find her hand. Which is buried deep within her crotch. "What are you doing?," I ask. "Playing with myself", she
responds. Oh. "Yes", she says, "I masturbate to an orgasm every night. Have been doing it since I was 12." Oh again. "Why do you do that?" I ask."Does it help you go to sleep?" (OK, not a great question.
I was tired). "No" .She gives me a scornful look. "It feels good".

Well, I'm still a gentleman. I gave her a hand (So to speak). We both have our hands in her crotch and she is showing a bit of life. Now, she's even starting to move a bit. "Have you ever rapped with a girl?" she asks. I hate rap music.
"No", I respond. "Never?" she asks. "Never" I say, "Don't want to rap with a girl." "Oh" she sounds disappointed. Pause. I ask, "What about you, do you want to rap with a man?" "Oh
yes!" Now she's very excited. I'm totally lost. Visions of men waving their fingers in the air, wearing ill fitting clothing while spouting nonsensical rhymes come into my head. "Why do you want to rap with a man?" I ask.
"Oh, it would be like animals," she cries. "Disgusting. Like animals doing it in the street". The light dawns.

You mean "rape"? I ask. "You want to be raped by a man?" "Oh yes, rap me!" she cries.

Now, I really don't know about you, but it's been quite a few years since I saw 30, and while in my youth I could have another go quite quickly after the first, now the old body has to rest a bit, and it hasn't quite been long enough. "Rap
me", she cries. "Rap me like an animal!" I flip her over on her stomach, enter her from behind. I'm fully ready to go! "You bastard," she cries, "you bastard. Don't you rap me you bastard" as she comes
like a freight train.

Exhausted. It's pushing 6AM. I fall dead asleep. She's prodding me awake. Fully dressed. I must have been out all of 15 minutes. "You snore like a pig" she says, making some grunting noises. "I can't sleep. If I don't
get a good sleep, I can't work tomorrow. I go now."

In China, girls aren't allowed to be found walking around good hotels in the middle of the night. The custom is when you're finished you have to take them downstairs and put them in a taxi. (I learned this one night in Guangzhou where the girl
(Maria) who didn't speak a word of English (but that's another story) gave me a card to read when she was ready to go, politely asking me in textbook English to escort her downstairs.

I struggle into my clothes. It's now 6AM. "Give me a tip" she says. (But you were paid nearly 400 bucks! I think). "Tip" she repeats, standing her ground. All I want is for her to leave. I give her some cash, take her downstairs,
put her into a taxi. "Here," she says, pressing a piece of paper into my hand. Her email address and phone number. "Call me."

Right. I wave goodbye, and crumple up the paper. 630. An hour and a half before the meeting. Shave. Shower. Good breakfast. Have to make an impression. The sale can be worth quite a bit to the company.

The grass is always greener, guys. Thai women are still the best. Be grateful. Shut up and stop whining.

Stickman's thoughts:

What a shame. I've found some Chinese women to be very pleasant on the eye, but to be honest, this is not the first thumbs down report I've heard them get.

nana plaza