Is Being A Cynic The First Step To Wisdom?
By Jangling Man
A Broken Promise
I swore to myself when I wrote my first submission that I would never enter the debate about bargirls. I've experienced enough Thai whores to know how utterly pointless it would be for me to try and get into some kind of relationship with a girl who has dubious moral ethics. There are of course, many bargirl / farang relationships that have come good, but it would only be a matter of time before the past caught up and eventually destroy any kind of love I felt for the girl. That's just me and I would not attempt to judge anyone else.
I wanted to write about my experiences in the LOS, good or bad and nothing more. Now it would seem, I am going back on my word because of an individual who wrote me a nice email, telling me my Thai girlfriend is a whore. Mmm imagine that! "Excuse me mate, your girlfriend is a whore and everyone knows it, except you that is ha ha!" This individual claims that he is trying to do me a favour by giving me the benefit of his wisdom and I am now thinking to myself "how many other blokes believe my girlfriend is a whore?" But why should I care? Maybe I am a sensitive soul, and it matters to me that I am not labelled as "just another dumb sucker, who cannot see the wood for the trees."
Like most farang who visit Thailand, it was a revelation to me. I was with my friend who has lived in Thailand for about 4 years. He speaks fluent Thai and knows pretty much every scam that Thais try to draw us into. He is completely cynical…..so quick to judge people, often by his own standards. He has no Thai friends, only a girlfriend that he treats like a whore and he does not belong to the expat community in Phuket. He screws bargirls like his life depends on it, yet the guy is never content.
Outside the bargirl fraternity his behaviour is completely unacceptable….even in Thailand. For some time, I envied him. His lifestyle seemed almost perfect, but after a while I saw through the facade and realised this was no way to live. You see, he
is searching for something, but he does not know what it is, so he just keeps on trucking (or should that be fxxxing?) until he finally works it all out, or he dies (probably from Aids). Personally, I found having sex with bargirls leaves me feeling
empty, even with the ones that pretend they loved me…..because that's all it is….pretend. There is so much more to Thailand than bargirls and sex. The Thai people do not deserve to be labelled like a can of beans, because if you do, then
you will miss out on all that is good, just like my friend.
Imagine your mother-in-law, or some nasty old tart, bitter and resentful to everyone and everything. Then a pathetic, know-it-all, obnoxious out-of-control teenage girl…..hold that thought for a second. You are about half way to what my ex-girlfriend was like, no bullshit. God knows how I ended up with her….well in fact, I do. I felt sorry for her she had a crap upbringing and I wanted to be her hero and make life all better for her. There were of course, signs of trouble. Not little signs, like STOP, or, DO A U TURN kind of signs. No, these were of the big flashin neon sign variety, saying….DAUGHTER OF LUCIFER….WELCOME TO HELL! And hell it was!
Every time I met a women, I would see a little bit of my ex in her and I would drop her like a lead weight into the ocean. I have learnt my lesson and it was a hard lesson to learn. I have a little girl to her and so the pain goes on….and on….and
Your Common Garden Variety Farang
If Thailand was a garden, then there are but a few varieties of farang plant life. The first is the sexual deviant, who could not have a normal relationship with a women if he tried. He views all women as objects to have sex with and has little capacity to communicate with women, except with his dick. The second is the middle-aged, looking for love type, with his heart on his sleeve and his wallet ever ready, to pay what ever demands are made of him. The third, is the cynic, who thinks he knows everything and loves to tell everyone all that he thinks he knows…. (you can not tell a cynic anything). The forth…..and I like the forth….is someone who takes Thailand for what it is, and accepts it with his eyes wide open. He is receptive to the good and simply ignores the bad. He treats everyone with respect and those who reciprocate, he calls his friends. He does not judge people from pre-conceived ideas or views….just takes people as he finds them. I would like to think that I in category number four.
How To Use Your Common Sense
So your have your best years behind you…..sound like you? You pay a visit to a bar. A girl plants her ass next to you and gets out the "connect four". You play a few games and you buy the girl a few drinks. She tells you that you are a "handsome man" and she loves fat, old balding men. She charms you, she is so sincere. How could she be lying? Think about it! How would you like some 80 year old girl, sat on your face? Would that be fun for you? Do you honestly think that it is fun for her? Of course not. It is simply about money, nothing else. But you don't care! You are on holiday and tomorrow night, there will be another girl, so who cares?
I am 30 years old. I have never had a problem finding women…..just that I tend to attract women that are no good. I am 5' 10", average build, average looks, but I do not want an average women. Looks are not so important. I want a woman who knows how to be a woman. I do not care about her race or her religion. I want a girl who wants a family and is content with the good things in life, like love, family and trust. Can I get a girl like that in Farangland? Of course! But I have met that girl in Thailand.
If you have little chance of finding love at home, what makes you think you will find love anywhere else? I have access to girls from the age of 22 years old back home, therefore it is reasonable to suggest I have access to girls the same age anywhere
else. If you are over the hill, you will only have access to bargirls because you are paying for their services. I am not over the hill (yet), therefore it is reasonable to expect that I can find a decent girl my age or there abouts……common
sense. It's not that I am better than say some 50 year old bloke, it's just that when it comes to relationships, people tend to like their partner to be of a similar age.
Is My Girlfriend A Bargirl?
I have spent the last 5 years, trying to work out, how I messed up so badly. In the end, I blame myself. All the signs were there for me to see. What are the signs saying about Pung? I am not sure….that is 100%. She is not a whore, that I am sure of…..there is no doubt in my mind. She does however have this idea that all farangs are rich. She worked two jobs, to take care of her mum and kids…..that's 16 hours a day, everyday. So I send 7,000 baht every month, so she only has to work one job a day. Personally, I think that is pretty damn nice of me, but I realise that a boyfriend anywhere in the world is not much use if he can not take care of his girl. Thailand is not like the UK, where a women can earn the same as a man, and the wages Pung earns is not enough to keep two kids and her mum, at least, not on one wage. So basically I double her wage. I am not a rich fella. I have my own gardening business and I earn on average £3,000 a month or $5,000 US……so £100 is not a lot of money to me….no big deal. The first month I sent her money she was VERY happy. I feel good about helping her out.
But soon enough she says she wants to take her kids back to Chumphon and can I help her with the expenses. Sure….no problem, I can help. Soon enough she has problem with the rent, and she needs my help again. Obviously she is taking the piss. I tell her to go fxxk herself. She must think I just got off the banana boat, and I am some fool, who has more money than sense…..and I tell her so.
I explain to her that I am not rich and that I will not give out to her every request. I ask her how much her ex-husband is paying her every month. I tell her that I will send 7,000 baht every month and 7,000 baht is all she will get. Pung understands this, and accepts this. Do I think bad of her, for asking for money?No, not really. If I need money, I can ask my family to help or go to a bank. I can always get money….lots of money! Pung can only ask for money that she can pay back so if she is struggling now it will be harder later. Pung has a brother dieing with cancer. I think "is this a another version of the sick buffalo?" He is in a hospital in Bangkok, blind in one eye and deaf in one ear. I will find out soon enough, when I visit him in January. Pung asked me if I could send her 9,000 baht this month and I sent her 10,000 baht instead. I told her that because of Christmas, I cannot send money in December, and of course I will be in Thailand in January. That seems to be ok with her.
Are you convinced that she is not a bargirl? Probably not! There are warning signs written everywhere. Do I believe everything that she has told me? Yes I do! And if she is lying to me, it will not take long to unravel the lies.
If a women with kids in the UK splits with her fella, society will take care of her. They will pay her rent, her taxes, school, uniform for school, school dinners and money to live on. If a woman is careful with her money, she can provide a good life for her kids. In Thailand, there is no welfare system. If a single mother does not work, then her kids will starve and so will she. It really is understandable why so many girls turn to prostitution. My Pung is lucky. She has 13 years education behind her and she has ME. She will never have to sell herself to get by because I would never allow that to happen and nor would she. Pung has kept her virtues and now she will reap the benefit.
The Idiot That Emailed Me
Who was it that said "a frog at the bottom of the well says the sky is only as big as the top of the well"? I'm not entirely sure but the fella who wrote that email to me, spurned me on to write another submission. He is that frog as he can only see what is above him and nothing else. Maybe you have never felt love, only disappointment? Maybe when you give…people only take? Maybe when you have the answers, you get only problems? Or maybe you are just afraid….the same as us….
Pung? Oh no, I just completed an investigation into a Pung for Hans from Germany. Still, there must be plenty of Pungs getting 7,000 baht a month from Jangling Man.