Reflections Of P4P
I watched a TV programme called Sex Traffic last night, (UK TV Ch4Tues 20 Sept), it had me in tears several times…The makers describe the programme thus:-
A powerful new drama that weaves stories from around the world into one bold narrative, revealing how the trafficking of young women into sexual slavery is operating in cities throughout Europe, right here and right now. At the heart of Sex Traffic is the story of two young Moldovan sisters, kidnapped and trafficked through Romania, Serbia, Albania, Bosnia and Italy to the dark side of London, betrayed by pimps and police, and fighting for their lives. The reverberations of their story are explosive, exposing far-reaching corruption that implicates big business in America and international peacekeeping forces in Europe alike.
I felt so sorry for the girls depicted. It even made me call into doubt my own motivations in going to LOS and AC but then I had a think about it and concluded that there are more than a few differences in P4P with Eastern European women and LBFMs…
Firstly, I have never had P4P with an Eastern European woman although I've seen hundreds in both LOS and the UAE, so I have to take the story line of 'Sex traffic' as gospel.
On the other hand, I have had some very rewarding albeit brief holiday romances with probably hundreds of LBFMs… If you don't know what a LBFM is, then this is going to go right over your head so you might as well stop reading here and now…
I have now been going to LOS and the PI's for some 12 years. Last time I checked some 45+ times all up. When I first visited LOS it was (believe it or not) a pure accident, I never started out to go, but Northern Malaya isn't much of a 'Party place' and some Aussies and Kiwis I was working with at the time offered to take me up north to Narathiwat Province via Sungai Kolok. From there I ventured further north to Had Yai. My next trip saw me visiting Bangkok and Phuket. I fell in love with Phuket and visited there several times, until I had a bit of a scare and have not been back for some 4 years now preferring the anonymity of Bangkok.
So why am I writing this?
The programme I watched last night was absolutely awful. The girls were brutalised, raped, regularly beaten and on occasion murdered. They were not paid and handed over all the money they earned, they were kept in check with threats to their children, at its worst one girl was sent the severed hand of her baby daughter. So again I ask:- Why am I writing this?
The one big difference between girls from Eastern Europe and Asia is that in all my trips to LOS or the PI's I have never seen a girl who didn't (at least outwardly) appear to be happy. Albeit you might be a little surprised at how many bare the scares of unsuccessful wrist slashing attempts, I know about ten who have tried it…
Before I try to answer, I must at least try to paint a picture of myself and describe my attitude to PFP.
I am 49 years old, twice divorced but fortunately with no children. I earn a fairly high salary, and have no living relatives in UK.. I visit Asia 4-5 times per year 7-10 days at a time and usually indulge more in the 'Rent a girlfriend – Honey Ko', thing, now going for quality rather than quantity although when I first found the club mentioned below I was averaging 3 per day… In the world I live in and earn my money in, women my age have long since let themselves run to pot. I never did nor could I. I still sport a six pack and find I've no attraction to women who have long since surrendered to the ravages of both time and gravity…
I always take some presents for the girl, and buy a few more while I'm there. I always pay 'Good, fair Money' and don't feel cheated when I do so. I always treat the girl with respect, and on several occasions have actually been invited back to their homes where I have met their children. Recently I have started taking a few small gifts for the children, knowing that whoever I might meet on my current visit will more than probably have a child or two.
Returning to my Phuket scare for a moment:-
I had spent 2 weeks there using exclusively one beer bar in particular. On my last night I took 6-8 of the staff out for a meal. Naturally enough I paid the bill, but at only 2,500 Baht who was I to grumble? As a final friendly gesture, the boyfriend of the bar owner offered me a lift back to my hotel. 'Very nice of him I thought'. I had known him for 2 weeks and had never seen him in anything other than cut off jeans, a rag ar$e tee-shirt and flip-flops…so I figured that he would probably return in a beaten up Tuk-Tuk or on a moped…. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
He returned in a brand new M5 BMW… Those who may know the Patong area of Phuket will equally know that the only pimps there are those who run the Fishbowl / Soapy massage parlour, and despite the occasional bar fine the bar owners don't make a huge amount from the girls who indulge in my P4P activities…
No, most of the girls work mainly for themselves… So where might this Joker get enough dosh to own a brand new M5 BMW? It just has to be from Nose Candy and other such items!
It put the Willies up me I can tell you. I don't do that stuff, and even if I did, LOS would be the last place in the world I would consider doing it. Have you seen those Thai Jails? As I say I've not been back since, but I never say never, so who knows what the future might hold…
In Bangkok, I usually frequent a world famous club, and from doing this as many times as I have, I can offer some "Insider information":- But if anybody wants the low-down they'd better PM me cos' I don't want to spoil my friendship with the owner.. but I will tell you here and now that some of these girls are on anything up to 90 – 100K Baht per month… I know several of them personally as friends, I have visited their homes, and met their families and kids. They drive big Japanese 4×4's, and they can all text your a$$ off when it comes to sending SMS via cell phones…
I can recall a conversation I had with the Club owner where we discussed the motivation of the girls. I suggested that there might be an element of fear involved, to which he laughingly replied:- "The only thing that frightens them is the thought that they might get fired".
Freelancers working the area around Sukhumvit Soi 4 or in the now infamous 'car park' after the bars shut, are lucky if they make 2000 Baht a night let alone 90 – 100K Baht per month… But 2000 Baht per night is a darn site better than the average wage… The best information I can get hold of quotes between 7 and 8K Baht per month as an average, but some earn as little as 3,500. Now you can see why these girls seem so happy, they are rolling in cash in comparison to the 'good girls' who work at Robinsons or Lotus / Tesco…
These girls learn real quick, and the first lesson they learn, is that sleeping in 4-5 star accommodation, with a guy who treats them well, buys them presents and lets them eat in some of the best restaurants in town, is a whole lot better than sharing a crummy two room studio flat in a tenement block with 8 other adult family members, but even that beats living in a Nipa hut in the back of beyond eating Mud crabs and cracked rice…
I am not ashamed of my PFP activities, far from it, most of my UK working colleagues know about it, and some even joke that they'd love to accompany me, but none have the heart for it. Which brings to the fore the other little problem, that of matters of the heart:-
The best advice I've seen was given by another board member (Jimmy Reg) elsewhere on this board, and he was talking about AC:- "Leave your heart at NAIA to collect on your way home".
I'd offer this little gem for those who might venture to LOS:-"The saddest place in the world (bar none) is the departures check in of Don Muang International Airport"…
I had to wait there for 5 hours once and I could have drown myself in the tears from male and female alike. The main difference was that as soon as 'he' was safely nudged off into the departures hall 'she' was straight onto her cell phone to arrange the next walking ATM… I always say goodbye in the hotel, it's easier that way…
Guys who learn one simple lesson early on might just make it, not that I'm saying that they may not weaken occasionally, just like I did, But…. To these girls it is just a job, and a very well paid one to boot.
With STDs in mind I have asked many girls who I now know to be fastidiously clean and emphatic about the use of prophylactics, how come nearly all of them have got kids… The truth is that Thai men don't like condoms any more than we do, it's just that we are a little more STD aware…
I know several guys who are married to Asian girls, somewhere in the region of 20, none of them are happy, but most are stuck in no $ex marriages they can't get out of for one reason or another. I even know of a Brit in the PI's who's wife is plotting to have her hubby topped.
Another little gem I found elsewhere on this board is probably worth reiterating again:- "If it floats, fxxxs or flies, it's probably better to rent than buy!"
People who watched that programme last night probably think that all P4P girls are treated like that, "Nothing could be further from the truth!"
I have been stopped on two separate occasions coming out of the club I mentioned earlier. The first guy was an Australian, of about 45, the second was a young guy of maybe 20 from UK… (like I said "It is a world famous club")… Both of them asked me the same question albeit the two incidents occurred some 10 days apart, but they did both ask the same question:- "What's it like in there?"
I replied:- "It is all you've read and more… It's all you could ever possibly want or imagine!. But I'd advise you not to go in there, cos' when you have been in there, there's no place else in the world for you to go!"
So now, I work for 80% of my time, living like a social hermit to fund the other 20% of my time where I truly am one of the blessed ones….
I just hope that those of my friends who might have seen that TV programme last night don't look at me through different eyes today. I freely admit I can never stop these girls doing what they do as much as I'd like to, it simply pays to well. At first I felt guilty but then I found this:-
Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing.
He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work. One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up. As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean. As he got closer he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?"
The young man paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing starfish in the ocean."
"I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?"
"The sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don't throw them in they'll die."
"But, young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can't possibly make a difference!"
The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish
and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said- "It made a difference for that one."
I can never hope to change these girls for ever, but I can make damn sure they are happy while I'm with them….
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