Readers' Submissions

Picking Up Hot Thai Girls For Dummies Part 2

  • Written by Ben Dover
  • October 4th, 2005
  • 11 min read


As mentioned in Part 1, here are 4 more methods whereby punters can maximize their efforts in 'punter sex' department.

Now let’s really step up the technology a notch to maximize your time getting laid by hot Thai chicks.

Technique 2

The next level is text messaging. Now before you start mumbling about stupid Thai girls constantly sending you inane text messages like, ‘miss u 2 much’, or ‘you so hansum’ or ‘I want see u tonite’, you can start to turn the tables on these working girls in order to maximize your time efficiency.

What you do is assign girls that you like, who share certain traits that you are looking for on that particular day (or at that moment for those of you trying to use this system to easily get laid 3 times per day!), to be in the same ‘group’ for text messaging.

Now, I will not get into all of the idiosyncrasies of how text messaging works on different phones because it is not always the same, but suffice to say, it is usually rather simple.

Let’s say that you are very tired after walking around all day in the Thai heat and you want a girl who gives good massages after she bangs the sense out of you on top while you lie on your back resting comfortably. All you do is make a group called something like ‘Tired’ or ‘Relaxed’ or ‘Massage’ or something like that.

At this point, you should have been entering in group criteria for the girls as you added them to your phone’s contact database, like the ‘Massage’ group, ‘Big Tits’ group, ‘Wild Girls’ group, ‘Great Head’ group, ‘Party girls’ group, or whatever else holds your fancy.

Now here is the best part…you make THEM come to YOU when you want them to…according to YOUR schedule and YOUR time!!! All you do is send out a broadcast text message to the group with the same text message and all of the girls will be sent the SAME message which should read something like this:

“I want to see you NOW!!! I miss you and I am very horny. If you can come over before 3PM, then please call me immediately. There is 1,000 baht waiting for you here…Ben.”

Now you wait for about 2 minutes and then…

RING!!! RING!!! RING!!! RING!!! RING!!! RING!!! RING!!! RING!!! RING!!! RING!!! RING!!! RING!!! RING!!! RING!!!

If you have enough girls in the group, then within a few minutes, you will start to get inundated with calls of the girls that meet your specifications because YOU programmed them into your phone that way!

Now, if you would like, and you are more of a guy who is into surprises, you can also just put ALL bargirls, freelancers, etc, that you have ever met into one group, but then you might get too many calls that you have to screen within a few minutes and the calls may come in simultaneously and some good girls that you might want to play with might get routed to voicemail which you then might have to waste precious minutes wading through a bunch of crap girls that you did not want to talk to.

And remember, with voicemail, you are only listening to a digital voice recording and you CANNOT simultaneously see what the girl looks like on the screen of your phone or who she is or even what her rating is. You might get 5 different girls named Lek who called you and you do not remember who is who by their voice alone.

And if you have 20 messages within a few minutes, then you will not remember most of the girls by their voice message and you will have write it down along with the number and then scan through your phonebook to find the right name, picture, and description associated with each girl that left you a message. A total waste of my valuable time, in my opinion.

And if you waste too much time trying to wade through voicemail hell, then that one girl that you really wanted to lay some pipe with, might have already gotten a ‘date’ with someone else!!!

Technique 3

I learned this one from a nice fellow that I met one afternoon at a local watering hole in Bangkok. We had been chatting for a few minutes and then I asked him what he did and he handed me his business card.

It had the name of some company and his title as CEO or something similar. I asked him what he did and he said, “Nothing. I just use the card to get laid.”

I said, “Ummm, what do you mean that you ‘use’ the card to get laid?”

He said, really it’s quite simple, many things are very cheap in Thailand as you well know, and that includes printing. I said, “So?”

Then he went on to tell me how he gets business cards printed up all of the time with some fictitious company name, with NO company address on the card, just his name and CELL phone number. He gives his cards out to all girls that he meets.

Then, once he hands enough of his cards out, he starts to get girls calling HIM at all times of the night and day, who are also motivated and hungry for money and that is why they are calling him! He likes the variety calling him on different days and at different times. This would be a great technique for a guy who likes surprises and can ‘go with the flow’ when choosing his playmates.

Personally, I am not one of the guys as I have laser focus on what I want, at that exact time and I do not want something different. Just like when I am at Baskin Robbins. I mean, sure…they do have 31 flavors, but sometimes I when I have a hankering for something in particular and I want like peanut butter chocolate scoop and no ordinary orange sherbet will substitute for that! A man has to have guidelines and be selective at times, you know!!!

Technique 4

This technique is somewhat devious and I have never personally done this, although I think that it deserves mention. A long time ago, I met this guy in Bangers who was, oddly enough, and English teacher. I talked to him for a while about what that was like and he said he really wasn’t an ‘English teacher’ in the traditional sense.

I asked him what he meant by that and he told me something that I thought was rather clever and ingenious.

He told me that he likes to get laid a lot by girls who are more of the beautiful, skinny, sweet and innocent type of girls. When he told me this, I couldn’t help but laugh inside to myself thinking, ‘Jeez pal, I’m the exact opposite because I like only the ugly, skanky, fat whores who most guys wouldn’t fxxx for 2 satang’. But I kept my smart, sarcastic comments to myself and listened intently to this older gentleman.

He told me that he used to advertise everywhere around Bangkok his services as an English teacher. So, I asked him again, “So, you ARE an English teacher, then?”

Once again, he said, “No. I just pretend to be, in order to get laid.”

I asked him how he did that and this is what he told me…

Basically he would distribute and post fliers everywhere that advertised his English lessons for FREE. He said that people would call him all of the time and that whenever a Thai male would call, he would say that he has a full schedule already and cannot help him. But whenever a female called, he would tell her that the lesson was free and would invariably set up an appointment with the girl for her to come over to his apartment.

Now, when she got there, he would start the lesson and then would get rather frisky with the girl once she felt a little bit comfortable with him. He said that some of the girls would be shy, but many would be receptive to his advances because they really wanted to learn English and did not have any money to pay him for his services. He said that he got laid by girls from all walks of life, many of whom were good girls, but simply wanted to learn English better. He was kind of like trading his services for her ‘services’, albeit in a very sneaky way.

He also admitted that some girls got embarrassed or pissed, but that they just got up and left when he started to make the moves on them.

Now personally, I do not recommend this method, for several reasons listed below (although that guy said that it worked rather well).

1. It can be dangerous if this girl has an older Thai brother and she gets pissed and she calls him to go and kick the crap out of the punter for trying something like that on his innocent younger sister.

2. There is too much waiting around in this method and you never know what you are going to get until she shows up at your door. I am certainly sure that not every girl that wants to learn English is hot looking.

3. It also makes farangs look bad, especially in that most noble of professions called teaching and this is perhaps the most common professions of expats that Thais are surrounded by. And no, Stick, I am not kissing your butt…I have just always thought that way about the educational profession and you happen to be in that as well!

4. I think that this method really preys upon girls who might be weak and hungry to really want to better themselves and might be willing to set aside their morals in order to achieve their dreams, something which they most certainly later regret.

Overall, I do not approve of this method, but I did think that the guy was rather ingenious for having invented it, if in fact, he was the one who did invent it. We will never know…

Technique 5

The final technique is one that needs little introduction, but it can be VERY effective for guys who want to get some ‘strange’ by regular Thai girls who are hungry for some farang meat, from time to time.

This method utilizes the many dating and chat websites that are available, especially those websites that have live chat features. Guys just log onto the websites anonymously and start chatting with local Thai girls who are online simultaneously. After a few minutes and perhaps some exchange of pictures, the girl is raring to go and some guys have told me that the girl often will be at his apartment within 30 minutes for some hot and heavy, no strings attached, sex!!! And these web sites are NOT used just by freelancers. Many ‘regular’ Thai ladies use the sites because they can get some instant anonymous sex with a total stranger and will not lose face with their, perhaps, ‘rich’ Thai friends by being seen with a farang!!!

Some of these sites include bangkokchat.com, asianeuro.com, match.com, and yahoo.com and many more too numerous to mention. All of these sites have the ability to be able to chat, although with some of the services you first must subscribe to them and perhaps also pay a monthly or annual fee. But some guys have told me that it is worth it to pay $100 per year while living in Bangkok to have a nearly endless supply of free sex.

Although I must admit that he was rather imaginative, the way that his mind works, this is certainly a much safer method of free sex than that employed by the reader who wrote the recent submission entitled “Money For Nothing And Your Chicks For Free”, who definitely seems to be ‘living on the edge’, as it were. But it was an entertaining read for me nonetheless.

Summary

As you can see these are but a few methods that a punter can employ, especially for those on a 2 week sex-pass, to maximize their enjoyment in the kingdom, but some of those techniques work better for the longer term ex-pats and sex-pats that are lurking around in Bangkok.

Personally, I like the phone and text messaging techniques the best as I always know what I am getting as I build my database of eligible ‘contacts’… ; )

That being said, a final note would be that if you are employing the services of a ‘professional’, then you should always pay her properly as she works very hard for her money in a rather difficult profession and it certainly cannot be a joy to be banging strange men every day, for money.

Although, come to think of it…I myself, would rather enjoy banging strange girls every day…

Stickman's thoughts:

Technique #4 is a VERY bad idea and not recommended at all. You are asking for all sorts of trouble. I can confirm that Technique #5 has a VERY high success rate.