Stickman Readers' Submissions October 21st, 2005


Over the months I have read many stories about this Farang getting “hurt” and that Farang getting “hurt” and this one being drained of cash and that one catching his prostitute girlfriend with a different customer and blah
blah blah. Please, why does it seem that everyone wants to play the poor victim and sing the sad songs after they knowingly, and willingly, get the very treatment they permit? Remember one can only be conned if they allow themselves to be conned.
Any nickel grabbing street corner chicklet peddler with lice can tell you the basic fundamentals of self preservation. Why does it take a bargirl with no education to make you feel as if you were born yesterday?

Anyway in the hopes to help some of you guys save a little pain and cash I would like to introduce and share some of my experiences and rules with you. If you begin your journey with the approach that you want the most bang out of your vacation,
and the least cost impact then listen closely. I have been to Pattaya three times this year alone and plan to continue as long as the statistics stay in my favor. When the tide changes I’ll simply alter my venue, change cities, sounds easy
doesn’t it? The truth of the matter is it really is simple.

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To begin with learn to play “their” game. When they tell you they like you, you tell them how much you like them. If they say the “love” word then you use it equally and as liberally but generously dust it with
enthusiasm. After the first night which in all likelihood you’ll pay cash, tell them how much they mean to you and how much you want to be with them on a relationship level. Trust me they’ll home in on you faster that Opra on a BBQ.
They’ll label you as a potential savior and give you more loving than you may want. All the sex for the duration of your stay for free. Imagine that?

To begin with no matter what don’t tell them when the bye bye flight lifts off the ground. (Comply with Stickman’s basic rules of privacy and providing real data). When the day comes say you need to go to BKK for the afternoon
on business. Tell her you’ll see her tonight at Tony’s and ask her to dress sexy for you when you get back. Ask her to wear that special black mini dress just for you. Catch your flight and realize your savings. You can imagine the
number of crying Text messages and voice messages that you’ll get after that. All claiming that you lied to them….but back up a minute, who lied to who?

Generally speaking, I usually pay the 1000 baht for the first night but have yet to open my wallet for sex with that particular bargirl after that. Other than buying meals which is dirt cheap because they usually hate Farang food and always
want that crappy Thai spicy green roadside stuff. Find a good restaurant that serves both and budget in an extra couple bucks to fuel the skank. Also don’t forget to give in once and a while to the guilt burden on your back and buy her
the occasional cheap pair of shoes. Always with the promise to go to the designer malls later. She’ll wet her pants.

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Usually what I do is get one on the string like this, I keep telling her how much I love her and cannot imagine life without marrying her and asking if she will have my babies and wanting to support her family only after I get to know her
a little better and anything else she wants to hear. Remember, play their game.

When I need a little variety I’ll approach her with caution on the subject of threesomes. If the initial reaction is not harsh then I press the issue. I sometimes even cry telling her how much I love her and her only but my life time
dream has been to try it with two women at the same time. I don’t want to continue into my years without trying it at least just once. Oh just once and never again. Usually with a little reluctance she will agree as long as she picks the
girl or calls her friend for a second opinion. After she hangs up the phone chances are ones already grabbing a motorbike taxi and breaking speed limits to get to your hotel. If she consequently picks an ugly one that particular night tell her
that even if she wasn’t your true love you could not have sex with that particular specimen.

I have yet to see anyone of them decline to fulfill my deepest desires as long as I only try it once and not want to make a habit out of it. You see, Thai ladies are very resilient and no matter how angry or hurt they appear, they don’t
have the ability to take the crosshairs off your wallet and will be very forgiving. Even to the point of asking for your forgiveness which is usually accompanied with a lot of tears and words like “I no believe you”. Good God I could
retire if I have a baht for every time I heard those ones.

You see as long as you give them an inkling of hope that they will be included in your will or you’re about to declare her your power of attorney complete with all your immediately liquidable funds they will hang on. Good God will
they hang on. And hang on with a vengeance. They hate the thought of saying goodbye to your stash when another bargirl might get what they have invested so much time on. Hence the jealousy and insecurity they all seem to share. The realities are
they only see you as “time invested” and “return on time investment”. If you can get one to spend more than two days with you she will not let you go easy. All part of the game.

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I advise you to slowly withdrawn your affection, if they ask you what’s wrong? Tell them “nothing” Darling, why you ask. Tell them you “love her today more than yesterday” and want her to be your bride.
She will consciously hear your words but internally she will sense something is wrong. She will work even harder to get back what you initially gave her. Tell her maybe the first threesome happened too fast to know if you liked it or not and wouldn’t
mind trying one more time. If she objects don’t get upset, just act a little depressed. Again she will see this and connect it with the “something’s wrong” syndrome and want to find a way to make you love her again.

Hold out until the threesome happens otherwise your efforts are wasted. In fact I had one bargirl in July pleading with me to have sex with her and her two friends at the same time as long as I loved only her and helped her with her visa.

Another cool tip is when you’re at a bar with her, single out any other bargirl in the area and send her a drink. Whatever you do don’t accept to tap glasses with the bargirl but just send her a drink. Most girls will come over
and offer to tap the glass with you but graciously decline. Tell her you love your girlfriend and only wanted to send a drink. No more, don’t even look again in the other bargirl’s direction. Let your soul mate think her fortunes
may disappear in a flash. Just smile and watch the expression in Princesses eyes. This confuses the crap out of them. But yes indeed her effort into oral sex will amplify like never before. You’ll be exhausted long before she is.

If you don’t get the most enthusiastic sex that night after listening to a couple hours of tears and “I no believe you” and how she could never love another man again after you, then you didn’t get it right. Keep
practicing until you get it going, find your zone. You’ll know you own them when they approach you with a butter knife or something equally as ridiculous and ask you to kill them because they cannot live like this. That’s when you
introduce the concept of what “true love means” i.e.: Tell her for you true love means she must worship your penis or arrange sex with her sister. Whatever you can imagine. Might even be a good time to ask for anal if you’re
into that.

Anyways, I could go on and on forever. I think you get the concept. Give all your heart in the first two days and slowly withdraw it until she’s a babbling submissive sex object. Ready to do whatever your craziest desires can conjure
up. Do you remember the reason you came to Thailand in the first place?

If you still feel like you’ve been taken for a ride by Princess bargirl then try this one for points. I executed it myself.

This waitress at Tony’s kept smiling at me and showing me all kinds of attention. I asked her to meet me the next day and she said yes. She had some excuse to not keep the appointment. We exchanged mobile numbers and after that she
called me daily but never seemed to be able to actually meet. The calls and texts continued much to the dismay of the current bargirl I was working. I explained it off as attention from just a friend. Like I’m sure you’ve all heard
it from them when their phones ring. We all know what a “friend” is. Part of the game.

Anyway the story was the same every time, she cannot meet me but she needs money from me because she wants to quit work at Tony’s and go back to school. One day we actually met at the beach and we talked for hours. She told me she
wanted sex with me as soon as we could. She talked so sweet I even felt movement in my pants. She explained that she will call in sick that evening and spend the night with me. She just needed some new clothes on the way to the hotel so I thought
why not. She immediately went to the most expensive stores in the plaza and picked out whatever she wanted.

Continually I declined to purchase the goods for various reason such as too big, I no like the color, looks funny on you etc etc. Eventually I agreed on a cheap pair of shoes and paid the 250 baht. As we were leaving the plaza she told me
she now needs to go to work. I said no problem and waved goodbye to both her and the movement.

Everyday the same thing, all kinds of text messages on the phone telling me how much she loves me and misses me and wants me. I had to put my phone on silence to not distract Princess and her investment. However I did tolerate it because
I thought she was cute and wanted one day to see her naked.

Shortly thereafter I returned to work in Europe and the texts continued. The only deviation was the escalated desperation for money. In fact she told me she quit working at Tony’s because of me and will wait for me only if I gave her
$1000usf. I figured why not capitalize on the situation and “play” their game a little to see if I could score one for the Farangs.

So I told her I was working in Bangkok and only had time tomorrow at 13:30 to meet her at the airport to give her the money. If she came I would give her not just the $1000usf she asks for but $2000usf if she took the 2 hour bus ride to come
and get it. She was so excited she had her friend that spoke better English call me to confirm and secure such a fortunate hit. I could feel the screams of eureka via satellite throughout my body. I’m sure they thought “pay dirt”,
oil, hitting the big one, even possibly “bingo” in whatever language they really use.

The next day my phone started ringing at approximately 05:00 local and didn’t stop until at least noon. Then the text messaging began with “I no believe you” and “why you lie me” blah blah blah. I took it
she was a little annoyed.

In the end, I’m counting 1-0 but she keeps sending me texts crying for me to see her. Tell me how much she could do for me if I let her love me. If she wasn’t so damned cute with those long legs I would ignore them but being
a Farang I am tempted to succumb to the abyss. I guess the games not over yet.

Stickman's thoughts:

Comments to follow.

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