Readers' Submissions

Bizarre Bargirl Behaviour

  • Written by Anonymous
  • October 1st, 2005
  • 5 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

My little tale is prompted by Chris's story 'Number Nine' about his 'good' girl arranging a session with a bargirl and your comment 'bizarre'. As a first timer in LOS and way past my prime (nearly bus pass time for me) I found the bar scene totally overwhelming. It took me several days to pluck up the courage to actually pay a fine and take a lady back to my hotel. My body refused to play along and out of a combination of anxiety, guilt, and humiliation the lady was sent home early after being paid her full long-time fee.

An expat pal who was wise in the ways of the flesh suggested I tried an older more experienced lady that he knew who could make good conversation and empathise with me as well as make love. I met her and it was a meeting of minds. We clicked instantly and then travelled together for a couple of weeks.

As she had never flown before I treated her to a flight to Chiang Mai and we booked into a posh hotel. She is twenty five years younger than me but still a mature adult. Her excitement and obvious delight at finally flying somewhere was wonderful to watch. I got as much fun from the flight as she did. It was like treating a child to an enormous ice cream and watching them eat it.

Bar girl culture is a complete unknown to me and I wondered if our close proximity would lead to arguments and a very short trip. I need not have worried. My lady, of course, took over all the arrangements and I enjoyed the luxury of a personal secretary who organised all the usual tourist activities and also pampered me and cuddled up in bed at night. However, my body still wouldn't play ball. In fact no amount of ball playing would produce the desired result. "What you need is a sexy young girl" my lady told me. I wasn't convinced but she insisted. "I know men well. What you need is a sexy young girl. I will find you one".

Our evenings were then spent checking out the bar scene in Chiang Mai. Girls were chatted up by my lady and recommendations made to me. Every time I resisted and made ever feebler excuses as to why I didn't want boom boom with the latest suggested partner. My real reason was that I was convinced that I would fail again and be even more upset and of course another couple of thousand baht poorer. If I as much as glanced at another girl, my lady would pounce on her and try and fix me up.

Eventually we ended up in Foxy Lady and watched the go go dancers. A couple of them were by any standards, absolutely gorgeous. My lady soon sussed out which ones I fancied from my wandering eyes and happy smiles and started negotiations with the mamasan. The first girl that I had shown interest in was subjected to a grilling from my lady and then rejected. "She has boyfriend and will leave early. You need all night girl". Finally a young (too young I suspected) new girl was decided on jointly by my lady and the mamasan as being perfect for the task ahead.

The sweet dancer in question, Ying, joined us for a drink and was briefed on her nights work. Ying was very attractive but looked suspiciously young to me. My lady re-assured me that she was legal and very happy about the situation. I now felt that the trap was closing. 'Sorry' I said 'but I have run out of cash'. "No problem" my lady replied. "I have money, I will pay". And pay she did.

We all went to a fish restaurant and the two girls chatted away. Ying really was new to the business and very nervous of me. I could figure out what was being said even though I speak no Thai. 'He's so old. How many girls has he been with? Will he give me something nasty?" My lady smoothed the path. No he isn't a butterfly. Married and faithful for many years. "But he's so big. Will I get it in?" Use KY and doggy position. It struck me that Ying was having the same doubts that I was having about the wisdom of the whole enterprise. It was the exact reverse of what one would expect. The hooker concerned about the customer's cleanliness etc, rather than the client worrying about the hooker.

The night was interesting and very enjoyable but I discovered that realising a fantasy is not as good as the anticipation. Better to travel than to arrive and all that. By about three in the morning I was ready for sleep and my lady was already curled up on the side of the bed snoozing. Young Ying looked at her watch and I took the opportunity to say that she could leave if she wanted to. I was really trying to avoid yet more boom boom with her in the morning when we all woke up. Her youthful enthusiasm was fun but rather tiring for an oldie like me. I just wanted to cuddle up with my lady and feel the warmth of her body and just relax. No more boom boom tonight for me please.

Ying got dressed quickly and held her hand out for her cash. Damm. I really was out of cash! My lady was sound asleep but I had no option but to wake her. "I need some cash". I whispered in her ear. She woke up with a start and seeing Ying dressed and ready to go launched into a tirade which culminated in Ying pointing at me and saying I was sending her home. My lady asked me if this was true and I said it was. 'Up to you'. The cash was handed over and peace broke out again.

My lady was correct in her prescription of a sexy young girl. It did the trick and my kit has worked OK ever since.

On a visit to Farangland recently I told my tale and my pals were highly sceptical. They couldn't believe a hooker would actually encourage me to try another younger girl and actually arrange and pay for it. Thailand eh! If only they knew!!

My current lady had a more likely explanation. 'She was trying to recruit new girls to her bar'.

What do you think Stick?

Stickman's thoughts:

Sounds like you met someone who really did want to see you happy!