Readers' Submissions

Why Do They Bother?

  • Written by Colin
  • September 14th, 2005
  • 8 min read


I have submitted twice before to this site (one not so long ago, the other over a year ago) and both times it was basically to give a short-ish report on what had happened to me and asking advice. This time it's a little different. This time I'm here to vent – mainly for my own benefit but feel free to read if you want. Disclaimer: Some of what I write here might be anger-fueled bullshit so bare with me.

I have been thinking the thoughts I am about to put out on this page ever since the very first bar girl showed "genuine" interest in me. By that I mean beyond the "Fuck me, pay me, I'm a hooker, that's what I do" usual story. You know, when they start to act as if they want to have a relationship with you. The question I ask is: WHY DO THEY BOTHER??? Normally I wouldn't write this kind of article but my brother was just thrown in a cell by police for 2 days over some parking fines, he has court on Monday and I'm not in a good mood. I care about my brother, it pisses me off that he's rotting in some cell over some money. This incident has made me realise how the United Kingdom is nothing but a blender in which people are put, and out of the other end comes cash and raw material – which goes to the government and ground respectively. The UK has to be the only non 3rd world country where people get the shit taxed out of them and nothing ever gets better. I realise this has nothing to do with Thailand but this whole thing has made me angry, and I'm looking for something to take it out on, so here it is. Anyway that's my little rant about that over, now onto the other rant.

So, why do they bother? Why do bar girls insist on this bullshit they pedal to farangs? I was thinking about the whole situation in Thailand (and my personal experiences) and it just got me totally pissed off. In my previous submission I spoke of two girls, one a bargirl and one not. Before I go any further I want to say that the second girl who goes to University (the non bargirl) has NOTHING to do with this writing and NONE of this is remotely directed at her or other girls like her.

Anyway, I'm pissed off. I've read so many stories on this site of guys being screwed over, hurt, broken or even having their lives completely ruined by bar girls/ex-bargirls. It makes me kind of sick. What I've come to realise now is that these girls are predators. Sure, the guys go to them. Guys go to hookers in the west. They want a fuck – that's what you get then you pay and piss off. You might even get nice service, but there's no false love BS or anything. When you go to a hooker in Thailand you get told not to get involved with them. Some people don't take this advice, they are human. I would say that the problem in most of these situations is not the fact that the man can't keep distance, it's the fact that these hookers forget that they are hookers in the first place, or at least totally disregard the fact. I accept that there are a few who do genuinely develop feelings (at least initially) for farang (just before they take everything he has), but I would say most of them don't.

Here's an example: When I was in Pattaya last time (about 3 weeks ago) I went out a few times, as I mentioned in my last submission. I was walking along when this pretty hot (but obvious bargirl) girl walked past. Now, like in the west, I turned to have a look and see the goods from the back. Anyway before I can even make eye contact with her ass she has pounced on me, dragged me into a nearby bar and set up Connect 4. So we are playing and if I win I have to kiss her. So of course I win 9 times out of 10. Of course after 15 minutes she wants my phone number which I very stupidly gave to her. Long story short, I knew her about 30 minutes, we played some connect 4 and I kissed her maybe 4 or 5 times. I'm 19, she's 18 (supposedly), we had some fun and maybe we could see each other again sometime. Fine. Then the bullshit starts. This particular time is probably some of the most blatant bullshit I've ever come across. The day after she calls me up "I love you baby, I want you come see me, I love you so much, I miss you" Don't get me wrong, I know what she means, but why so strong? I know, it's my fault for giving her my phone number. Anyway I can't go to see her, I leave tomorrow. I thought that would be the end of it. I deleted her number (and all the other girls I stupidly gave my number to) off my phone and forget it.

I'm back in the UK on September 6th and I get a text "Starry starry night…I m missing you much tonight. xxx" – "Who the hell is that?"… I suspect it is her but I don't respond. The next day "The only word from my heart is… you're my true love xx". I KNEW YOU FOR 30 MINUTES, GET A GRIP. I mean why? Is it some culture difference or do all bargirls think that farang can't smell bullshit unless it's half way up their nostrils? So about 2 days later I just respond to see if it IS her, I say "Hey XXXXXX, how are you doing?" about 12 hours later I get back the same "The only word from my heart is.." crap. Anyway, I just text back "OK" – I mean I couldn't think of what else to say.

The above example is not an example of a bargirl of the worst form, I'm just trying to illustrate how they speak obvious bullshit and don't seem to care.

The worst kind of bargirl for me are the ones that trick men into love then try and make out that they were only doing a job and that's what they thought the men wanted. Here's a message to any bargirls: Yes, farang want to be tricked. They want to feel good when they are in a bar, they want to feel as if you like them. They want you to act as if you're enjoying yourself with them and in bed (maybe you are). What they don't want though, is to be pursued and tricked into thinking that there might be a possibility of you wanting a real relationship with them. If you're not genuine, make him feel good, but don't move to Farangland with him, live in his house and talk about starting a family, only to move back to Thailand 2 years later leaving him broken. Don't go too far. Why do it?

Urgh this rant is loosing steam a little now, I need to make myself more angry. Ok so here's the other part of my anger. I'll refer to the girl I wrote about in my previous submission, the first bar girl. I'm starting to think now that she probably doesn't want anything to do with me. The funny thing is I don't really seem to give a shit anymore, and it sort of makes me laugh inside – maybe I'm going insane. In fact I am going a little high, it's 1am here and I've been up quite a long time, so excuse me. So I'm pretty sure she wants nothing to do with me anymore, I've called her once since I got back two weeks ago and she hasn't called or emailed me once. Not once. Anyway I dropped her an email basically saying in a nutshell: It wasn't like I expected with you in Thailand, we didn't really get along did we? Where do you want to go from here, if anywhere?" It was more drawn out than that but that's the last communication I'm making. I'm not too angry at this girl as it was probably partly my fault, but why did she basically string me along for a year then show little interest when I was there? I know, I'm an asshole because I have two girls "on the go" but still, it doesn't change that.

Well that was a little shorter than I expected but there's not much to say to be honest. I hope you post this up even though it's pretty one sided but these are my thoughts.

Stickman's thoughts:

Many of Thailand's prostitutes are devious and unfortunately some of the Western guys who frequent them are, to be polite, vulnerable. Such a mix will always result in "problems".