Readers' Submissions

What LOS Has Done To Me Part 1

  • Written by Brian
  • September 30th, 2005
  • 6 min read


After reading many of the reader submissions and thoroughly enjoying them, I’m finally compelled to tell my own Thailand story. Like many, it’s about sex, love and taking on a whole new sense of reality while in Thailand. Though I am back in the States and have been for 15 months, I don’t think I go for more than 5 minutes without thinking about LOS. It’s unreal.

I had spent a lot of time working in Jakarta, Manila and Angeles City in the Philippines prior to doing a 5 month stint in Bangkok last year. I was well versed, or well trained so to speak in the bargirl scene and Asian girl scene in general prior to my arrival in Bangkok. When I was asked if I could work in Bangkok for some months by my employer at the time, I didn’t flinch and said when do I need to be there. I was in Bangkok a week later. This was in January, 2004.

When I arrived, I originally was to stay in an apartment at the Grand President on Suk/Soi 11. As soon as I walked in, my first thought was “this is to far from the NEP” and told reception to call the JW Marriott on Suk/Soi 2 and book me a room there. I had done a couple of three day trips to BKK back in 2000 so I knew where to stay, and why. They reluctantly did so. I gathered my things and took a taxi to the Marriott. I check in, get to my room with an overwhelming sigh of relief. Knowing myself and what a loathsome character I am, I can only ponder the drinking and whoremongering I’ll be doing in the months ahead. I climb into bed with ear to ear shit eating grin. I’m in heaven and all on the company dime. Doesn’t get any better.

My first two weeks in Bangkok were spent working during the day then binge drinking at the NEP followed by intense shagging at night. You know the drill.

My nightly routine was to take a rail seat at Big Dogs (right hand side) at the NEP entrance and watch the world go by. I loved doing that. What a mix of humanity that saunters in and out of the NEP. By about 10pm, I’d bore with Big Dogs and make my way to the Playskool go-go to beer and tequila up. I soon made friends with a waitress there. I’m one of those guys who takes a liking to a place and pretty much stick with it. Playskool became my “home bar” at the NEP. Each night upon my entrance to Playskool, my waitress friend would find me a prime seat then proceed to massage my neck and head for as long as I would have her. I’d buy her an occasion LD to keep her happy and massaging. She was an unattractive older gal so it was obvious to any potential barfines that this was nothing more than a symbiotic relationship and did not hamper my action.

One night while leering through my liquor goggles, I spot a beauty with hair down past her ass and barfine her. We did the usual shagging routine. What was unusual about this girl was she didn’t say a word, just an occasional grunt sound. I assumed she didn’t speak a word of English and let it go at that. I barfined her again a few nights later. Again, not a word out of her mouth save for the occasional grunting sound.

A few nights later, I’m back in Playskool when the mamasan brings a different girl over to me, uninvited. What the hell I think, usually not a good thing to butterfly in the same bar but f—k it. I’m answering all the usual questions from this girl. Where you stay? How long you here? The usual bola bola. Of course the lies flow from my lips like the waters over Niagara Falls. It’s amazing how one becomes such an accomplished liar in Asia. I buy the girl an LD. She takes a couple of sips then without explanation leaves to go sit somewhere else. WTF?!? I’m 48, well dressed, clean and still in excellent shape. <Another member of *that* clubStick> The years have been good to me despite my attempts to prematurely age myself. I’m not some fat ugly bastard. I call over the mamasan and ask her why the girl left. Apparently the girl was cold as we were sitting near an ac duct. No problem I tell the mamasan and tell her I’m not paying for the LD I bought the girl. I’m not a cheap Charlie by any stretch. Just pissed me off the girl up and split. In retrospect, I should have paid the 90 baht and let it go. When the mamasan told the girl she’s out her commission, she went freaking ballistic on the stage. Ok, Ok, enough already. I solly. I pay for the drink. The dancer calms down. While this is going on, my other girl spots me knowing I was sitting with another girl and she stares me down with daggers flying out of her eyes. I solly I tell her. She then sits next to me. She’s holding up 6 fingers (600 baht) to me wanting me to barfine her. Again, I wonder why no words. I shake my head no. Not interested tonight. I’m shagging my girl from Big Dogs tonight. As it turns out, this girl is a deaf mute and when told no barfine tonight, she launched into a crying and grunting scene. Christ, I’m batting a .1000 tonight having pissed off two girls in the span of about 5 minutes. I’ve got a dancer screeching at me sounding a turbine engine and a deaf mute girl crying and grunting at me. I’m laughing my ass off at the situation because this kind of shit doesn’t go down in the U.S.A. I love it. I make amends with the girls later and all is well.

After a couple of weeks spending most nights at the NEP, I decide I need to settle into a more sane routine. Over the next four months, I rarely make it past Big Dogs giving my liver and kidneys a much needed respite from massive quantities of alcohol. Soon, I was rarely going to the NEP at all. I soon discovered a good looking guy can pick up just about any girl right off the street for a good romp in the sack.

Next door to the Marriott was a pool bar called the Blue Wave. Being an accomplished pool player, I shifted my night time operations from the NEP to the Blue Wave. Now this was more like it. I’m drinking my beer, playing lots of pool and there’s no shortage of girls to be had at the Blue Wave. After about my first 6 weeks in Bangkok is when thoughts of cashing in my chips in the U.S. and moving permanently to Thailand started occupying more of my thinking time….Unknowingly, love is just around the corner…….to be continued.

Stickman's thoughts:

Humility goes a long way in Thailand…