Thai Girl Abandoned In New Zealand
I had known my Thai girlfriend for 2 years. From the moment we met in Bangkok in an internet cafe, we were inseparable. We rarely spent a night apart. I was a 23 year old backpacker and, as we were so attached, we decided to backpack together. We went
all over South East Asia, Korea, Hong Kong and New Zealand. The two years, however, were a nightmare from which I escaped. The way I escaped was horrible, nasty and tragic but I didn't have a choice. I just didn't have a choice.
Most of the time we were the perfect couple. We knew each other inside out and were ecstatically happy together. She was beautiful and most of the time, everything was great. Most of the time, she seemed to have a real desire to be 'good'. But I was naive!
Her background was that of a freelance hooker. She never worked in a bar but spent a lot of time in them and usually had men looking after her – sending/giving her money, taking her on holidays around Thailand etc. She has 2 sons from a Thai man. She never saw them or sent them money though. Her mother and aunts were hookers who encouraged her to be the same. They even took her to Singapore for that purpose. They did all they could to feed her their decadence.
And this background is, I'm convinced, what caused the outbursts. The hysterical, drunken, insane outbursts. Every few weeks, she would explode. She would shout at me, scream at me, break everything, get drunk, sleep around with the first men she saw. Once I found another man's semen on me and she laughed. She would see me as an enemy and tell everyone she could that I was mistreating her. She wanted people's sympathy. Every time we lived anywhere, the room would inevitably be trashed after a few weeks. In Korea, everything was smashed and I had to leave my job. In Bangkok, likewise. The straps of my backpack cut (and nothing is more annoying for a backpacker than his straps being cut), tent destroyed, clothes cut up. There was blood coming out of me, my blood from where she bit me was all over the floor and the landlord, assuming it was all my fault, kicked us out without giving back the deposit. This happened at least a dozen times <A dozen times? WTF were you thinking?! – Stick>. I had to leave my jobs, leave the town. Every time we lived anywhere. My mental state fell so low that I took to drinking a lot. Every time, without really showing remorse, she would come back to me and we'd be happy again. But I always knew that another explosion wasn't far away. Anything could trigger an explosion – one time, a girl who worked with me just said hello in a supermarket and a few hours later, we had left that town! I became accustomed to everyone we ever met, sooner or later, considering me to be some sort of monster. Screaming at me. Talking down to me as if I'm a brute. Why else would my girlfriend go berserk? But I never cheated on her or mistreated her.
I had a working holiday visa in New Zealand and we had been there for 5 months. She had also acquired a work visa. Four times, rooms had been trashed and I had no choice but to leave the town and the job. Either that or have people staring at me. It only happened four times in 5 months because we spent a lot of time sleeping in the car. Why rent a room when you know it'll be trashed?
I'm a pretty strong person but after a while, you can't be screamed at anymore. Being screamed at, knowing you can't ever expect to live anywhere, knowing people will hate you. It drives you insane. You try and reason with her but she has no conscience at all. She just doesn't care. The more you try to reason with her, the more insane you go! You bring up the fact that she's cheated on you and broken everything and all she thinks about is that you've formed a negative opinion of her. And she despises you for it.
Many times I escaped. I told her to go. But when I told her to go, she demanded money. So I gave money. But she spent the money and came back – like a boomerang. So I took to escaping myself. I left. But I always went back. And when I went back, she forgave me. Yes, she forgave me for leaving her after she trashed the room and broke all my stuff.
And we would be perfectly happy again. Cooking, showering, sleeping together. Making our jokes and laughing. Perfectly happy. As if nothing happened. And we would make our beautiful plans for the future.
But the last time, in New Zealand, she went too far. We were in a position where we needed to work flat out for a few months to save money. We had our visas and our jobs. But she blew it. She screamed at me. I couldn't go to work one day as she screamed 'Fuck you' as we walked down the street and I thought she'd scream at me in front of our workmates. So I stayed at home. She came back after work, screaming at me some more (for no reason at all – she just gets it into her head that I've conspired against her and she hates me for it). She went out, got drunk, had sex with someone, came home and continued screaming at me, breaking things. I knew that if I didn't get help, she'd scream all night. So I phoned the police. They laughed at me and looked at me like I'm a beast (as usual) and suggested that I leave her – as I'm obviously a beast. So they watched me pack my stuff in the car and followed me in their police car for 10 minutes to make sure I didn't return and cause her more harm.
I loved that girl very very much. I wanted to spend my life with her – and she did with me. But every few weeks she would forget her conscience. She turned into a super super super bitch. She remembered her past, what her family taught her, how her aunt has a nice, big house through being a bitch. Nobody can live with that, not many can afford to. So I didn't go back. She spent her money in a bar expecting I'd return as before. But I didn't. She left messages on my phone begging me to return. But I didn't. So she cried to everyone. She had no money and, of course, she got kicked out of where we were staying so she had nowhere to stay. I parked the car on a beach and despaired at everything for a few days. I just sat there crying.
She still had her job and she cried to everyone that I brought her to NZ on holiday and left her without money. Our colleagues couldn't believe that anyone could possibly be as callous as I had been. Just desert her like that! She told them all sorts of untrue, malicious things about me. So a man with a young family took her in free of charge. It was the least he could do. I know she lived happily with them for a few weeks and I began to think maybe the problem had been me. Maybe, I was the problem. But as soon as they helped her with a visa extension, she went on the piss and stopped going to work. After she had used them and no longer needed them. I don't know what she's doing now. I left the country. I thought she'd tell the police I'd beaten her or something. This would get revenge and get her sympathy. I'd end up in jail.
Thais care only about their life. They have to love their life. Everything they do is to have a good life for themselves. For this reason, it's very easy for a Thai to decide that they don't have to worry about others. If they can have a good life without worrying about others, why worry about others? If such a person gets into a lifestyle of prostitution and picks up wicked habits, they will oscillate between being civilised and being depraved as their confused inner mind balances what's necessary to have a good life. You can't reason with these people – you can't change their mentality. The more you try, the more insane you'll become.
I abandoned my girlfriend in New Zealand (this was quite a few years ago). I had to leave the girl I adored to languish pathetically in a foreign country with no ticket home. If I sent her a ticket, she'd rip it up and if I gave her the money, she'd spend it on beer. She could work for money for a ticket but why should she if she doesn't actually want to go back? She'll never understand why I left. She undoubtedly hates me for it. I don't know if she got her new visa or where she's living now. She doesn't need help, the people around her need help. I was driven to insanity. I sat in my car on the beach drinking riggers of beer. I couldn't live anywhere and everyone hated me. I cried and cried because it was just impossible. I just sat and cried and watched the waves come in and out in and out. Someone left a message on my phone alluding to the fact that I'm a bastard who abandoned probably the loveliest girl in the world. I started to sing. The waves were going in and out like my girlfriends temper inevitably forever. I wondered if the crabs go insane too.
If you're considering a relationship with a Thai, closely check their background for signs of wickedness. Because the 'selfish' mentality combined with even a little bit of the bad stuff leads to your insanity!
You must be glad to be rid of her. Why oh why you stuck it out with her for so long though, I'll never understand. I'm a big proponent of the "one strike and you're out!" philosophy.