I have a problem of sorts…
Before you read this, please bare in mind – I am only 19, HOWEVER, after being to Thailand only 3 times, and reading MANY stories on Stickman's site – I think I have a pretty objective view of what goes on. Most of the encounters (if not all, I don't know yet) that go on in the bars in Thailand are not real, and you shouldn't get sucked in. I know this. It still happens though…
This is a pretty long read, and much of it you may find boring…so I warn you now. I also warn you that I will come across as an asshole or naive in parts of this, but what can I say, I'm a human male.
OK, here's the story. I first went to Thailand in August 2003 where I had almost no contact with bars or bargirls. My mate isn't really into it but he decided to drag me to one of the bars anyway just to see what it was like. I was only 17 at the time and so I was pretty nervous. Anyway it went ok, but that was it for that trip.
I returned to Thailand in August 2004. This time I somehow ended up being in the bars a lot more (thanks again to my friend) but this time we met up with a guy who had been living in Pattaya for the last year or so who said he would take us to Soi 6 as the girls there were "nice" and he knew many of them – and it was a good place to have some easy fun (very true). I was 18 at this point, my friend was 19. I wasn't too hot on the idea of paying girls to act as if they are interested in you, but I went along anyway.
So we went to a few bars. The problem is, the girls are a lot better at "fooling" than I thought. I still had it in my mind "Why am I here? These women are just after money.." but when you have some beautiful thing all over you, then they ask for your phone
number, you get caught off guard. This was before I had read Stickman's site, so I was surprised at being asked for my phone number by well, lets face it, a hooker. Now I realise it's commonplace. Anyway I only gave my number to 1 girl who worked in Nana Plaza. She seemed really fun, and pretty nice. At first I was totally in love but then I came back to find Stickman's site and after a good read it brought me down again, luckily. I made a
submission on September 2004 called "Help a Youth" so you can find it if you want. Not being old (18 at the time, 19 now), or fat, or ugly – I assumed there was real interest, and I still haven't ruled it out despite this site…
I still remember the date I met her, FRIDAY -August- (the) 13th (hah) 2004. We only knew each other a few days but she was so damn beautiful, sexy and nice (real or fake). We only knew each other a couple of days but it was pretty good. I never kidded myself that we had a serious relationship (I still don't think we do now) but we called each other and emailed. Over the course of the year we talked a LOT. I found out much about her and we talked frankly a few times about her job etc. I never asked much of her, like for her to quit, since it wasn't fair as I couldn't be in Thailand as much as I had to be to be there for her. I felt as if I couldn't make demands, I had no right. However, about 5 months later she said she had quit the bar and was working in her mum's noodle shop. I just took it with a pinch of salt.
So, fast forward 1 year, many conversations and some arguments later. It's August 4th 2005 and I'm back in Thailand. She has said I can stay at her place for a few days before my family flies out to join me. It was my first time travelling alone (certainly won't be the last though) but I had a great time. It didn't start well – I was waiting at Heathrow and we still hadn't arranged concrete meeting points or times. I tried to call her for 6 hours
before my flights left and there was no answer. The fact that it was 3 quid a pint at the airport didn't help much either…
So I got on my flight not knowing what the hell was going on. 12 hours later I'm in the airport at Bangkok and my phone rings. It's her. She says to come to her flat. So after doing all the usual crap (customs, baggage) I get in a taxi and make my way to
her flat. Finally we get there and she is waiting outside, looking as gorgeous as ever. When I look at her I get that feeling in my heart like total disbelief at how beautiful she looks, it's hard to explain.
We go up to her flat and talk for a while. Just catching up in person since it's been a LONG time (about a year) since we've seen each other. I was surprised she was still interested (I never sent her any money or anything) and she has presents for me (I had none, but I rectified this later). We then went to bed. Before I go on I want to say that no money exchanged hands for the entire period I stayed with her, well, not directly. I did end up paying, but not in that way, I'll explain later. So afterwards, she informs me that her sister is coming round who is the same age as me (I am 19, this girl is 23 and her sister is also 19). I get a little nervous, not sure why. Anyway her sister appears and she is also smoking hot, but I try not to look at her too much and just act normally. They, naturally, start speaking in Thai and laughing and joking and I'm sitting there thinking "Are they laughing because I'm young (many of the girls seems to do this) or are they taking the piss?"
After their little chat "my girl" starts speaking to me in English as well. The TV (I hate that bloody TV – more later) is on so while they are talking I just watch it, even though it's some crap. After a while, I ask where does she want to go tonight. She says she doesn't want to go out which is fine with me as my flight only got in at 5pm and I was exhausted, but I ask her again anyway to make sure she is ok with it. So we just stay in and watch
TV, then go to sleep. She wanted to sleep really close which was ok with me, I did get very hot though.
Next morning we don't wake up until about 1pm. She said she had to go round to her mum's place (who lives in Bangkok) and would I like to come. I said ok. A little while later the sister turns up with her motorbike and the three of us get on. About 15 minutes later we are at her mum's house. We all sat around a little table where they were drinking Thai whiskey and eating Thai food. Her mum asked some stuff about me and I just answered politely as I would to any girlfriend I had had's mum, though the girl had to translate some of it to her. I think I probably offended them as they offered me food but my stomach had been playing up so I politely refused and just drank some Coke. I assured the girl though that it wasn't the food and that I couldn't have eaten anything.
I'm rambling a little now sorry. Anyway there was also a guy there called "Ton" who seemed nice, he was 22 and from what I gathered was in love with a ladyboy… That night me and the girl went out on our own, we ate at a nice steak place and all the rumours I'd heard about Thai girl's eating were confirmed. We actually met up with another Brit from Newcastle who worked on the oil rigs who was there with a bargirl. Naturally he had extended his stay to be with her and had fallen in love, and she was the same (real or not, I don't know). My girl had a massive plate of ribs and destroyed them, I had a steak which I hardly ate any of since I felt sick. Later that night we went to this place called "The
Coliseum" which was really good, with live music and stuff. We went back to her flat, and no sex. I wouldn't have been bothered if she didn't constantly want to spoon and be really
close in the bed. Having a gorgeous girl all over you in the bed but not wanting to go any further is like some kind of Chinese water torture.
The next day, we again didn't do much. About 4pm her sister came round once more and my girl asked what we were doing tonight. I said "up to you" and she said she'd like to go bowling. Then the old "Is it ok if my sister comes?" question came out. Ok I said.
About 8pm her sister comes round her flat, and what do you know, she's brought her mate Ton as well. I wasn't bothered by this too much as he seemed like a nice guy but I would still rather have been informed. We all head off to the bowling and we got some food there and stuff, drinks etc and of course I'm footing the entire bill. I wasn't bothered about paying for my girl but her sister and mate as well? I did it anyway like idiot farang boy always seems to do. We go home, and again, nothing. I got really pissed off but I didn't want to push her because I didn't want her to think I just wanted that. Some will call me a fool I know.
Anyway, I began showing my annoyance, not directly but enough to let her know I wasn't happy. She kept asking me what was wrong but being a moron I just kept saying "nothing". I wasn't going to spell out that I wanted a shag since it kind ruins the experience if you have to beg for it. Eventually in bed she said "Are you thinking about fucking?" but she had an angry tone. I just said "No" and she called me a liar. I didn't press ahead though as it was obvious she wasn't up for it. "Fuck it" I thought, I'm out of here tomorrow anyway.
So the next day I basically just left. I said bye but it wasn't any kind of tearful bullcrap, it was like saying bye to your mate who you're going to see again the next day. Now don't get me wrong and think that this was just because of the sex thing. I'll tell you what it was. It was the sex, but it was also the fact that she was never off her bloody phone, the fact that all she wanted to do during the day was sit there and watch mind-numbing Thai
soaps about some stupid asshole vampire, the fact that she hardly ever talked to me and a few other things. I left at about 1pm even though my dad's flight wasn't due until 3pm. In the taxi she called me up and asked why I left and I just told her, I got pissed off sitting there watching Thai TV in silence. I told her I can't handle being in a room with someone I care about and never talking. Anyway I said I would see her in 2 weeks as I was back in Bangkok for 5 days at the end of my stay.
I felt like shit at the airport, although it did cheer me up when an obvious non-bargirl came up to me in the arrivals lounge, started talking to me and asked for my phone number. I just gave it to her anyway, I thought what's the harm? Haven't heard from her yet though, as the number I gave her was my old phone which is still at my house in Scotland….
My family appeared at about 4pm. I am very lucky in the way that I have very liberal parents. Both of them know about this girl now and if I meet a girl on holiday they allow me a lot of freedom. The first stop on our trail of the family holiday was Ayuthya. I had
been here last year and loved it. We stayed in the same hotel as last time and would be there for 5 days. On the first night we were in the restaurant eating (not for the last time) when I noticed a very nice looking girl who was working as a waitress there. We exchanged smiles and after some talking and the usual boy-girl exchanges over the coming nights I finally got up the nerve to ask her to come out with me on about the 3rd night.
This was about 1am so you can imagine my horror when she says that she wants to meet up with me at 7am that morning in the hotel lobby. She would only come out though if my family was there, which I understood as she wasn't a whore and probably didn't
people thinking she was. Anyway I turn up at 7am in the hotel lobby and wait….and wait…then she finally turns up at 7.30am.
We went to this cafe place she must go to a lot as there is an older woman there who I think looks after her like a daughter (her mother died, and her father works in Bangkok). We'll call this woman "Bloody Mary".
We had to wait for my parents and little sister to get up which would be about 3 hours so for the next 3 hours or so we just talked and laughed and I helped her with her English books a little. She was the sweetest girl I have ever met (and I think she still is). She is 21 and is a student at a University in Thailand and also works part time as a waitress. Anyway while I am there Bloody Mary gives me a coke and also a little talk on the ways of Thai
girls. She explains to me that "Uni Girl" cannot come out with me herself basically because people would think she was a hired girl which is unacceptable. I already knew this but I nodded away anyway and said that I understand. For the next few days she came out with us on trips and stuff just like part of the family, nothing happened between us just some holding hands and stuff. I was fine with this, I understood that normal Thai girls are very unlike the bargirls you find.
Next we were headed to Pattaya, but I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay in Ayuthya with Uni Girl. I informed my parents of this and started to make arrangements to stay for 2 more nights. I told Uni Girl and she was really happy. She must have misunderstood though since on the day of my family's leaving she came all packed up ready to go and stay with us for 2 nights in Pattaya (her English isn't bargirl-standard) So there's 60 quid down the drain (for the hotel in Ayu) but I didn't care, she was coming with us. So she stayed with us for 2 nights in Pattaya and it was brilliant, we did stuff like Jet Ski and go to the beach during the day, and at night me and her would go to some place like the Hard Rock with good music and just drink and talk, we had a phrase book which was very useful and we had a good laugh. I went out a couple of times in Pattaya, got asked for my phone number a few times, gave it out a few times (I know…).
We had separate rooms at the hotel but I would sometimes go to her room just to talk to her and stuff. I won't say if things went any further so you'll just have to work it out. I missed her loads when she left so I emailed her to ask if she wanted to come and stay with us in Bangkok for 2 nights also. She said she would love to and got the bus to Bangkok, and stayed for 2 nights.
Again, we had an awesome time. She had to go because she had work and I took her to the bus station. There were tears from her and she told me to make sure not to forget her and to come back to Thailand soon. I promised I would (I intend to).
For the last 2 or so days in Bangkok, I got in touch with My Girl. On the 2nd last day I went round to her flat after calling her and she was ill. I took her to the hospital where she had a blood test but she seemed to be ok. We were supposed to go out that night at 6pm but after calling her for 2 and a half hours till 8.30pm I got really pissed off and said to my family I would go out for a meal with them. Of course 15 minutes after going out she
calls and says where am I?
"Out with my family eating"
"I thought you go out with me?"
"I've been trying to call for the last 3 hours nearly (on your phone which I never saw you without ONCE)"
"I go downstairs"
"Well I'm out with my family now it's a bit late"
*20 second silence*
*I start talking*
*She hangs up*
I thought "Fuck you" but then about 2 hours later after dinner I felt pretty bad, though I don't know why. Anyway I wake up the next morning and she has called at 4am, it's now 8am and I try to call her, no answer. I try to call her again from the Airport at 12pm, no answer. So I get on my flight back to the United Shithole and have a depressing night in a hotel on my own waiting for my family to fly in. I call her at about 6am the next day, she
answers and says how she wants to see me again etc etc.
Here's the problem. Despite sounding like an asshole on many occasions throughout this thing, I care deeply about both of these girls. I know I can't keep seeing them both for very long, and I don't know what to do.
Any thoughts? Be gentle.
Forget the bargirl. She has mucked you around enough to prove that she is unreliable. Forget her altogether.
I truly think that coming to Thailand at such a young age is not ideal. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but why not mess around with some girls in the UK your own age for a few years, go down to the Mediterranean and what not, and come back to Thailand when you're 25+ – if you still feel the inclination.