What Presumptuous Thai Men Don’t Get About Farang Men
I always find it interesting and intriguing when Thai men think they can understand what foreigners are all about.
Let’s start with the use of the word, “Farang,” which to me is racist in itself. It amuses me when I see Thais use this word so loosely because it really shows their stupidity. When you say, “Farang,” I want to know from what country. Do they mean America, Germany, France, Norway, Sweden, New Zealand, etc.? The cultures, amongst other things, differ from country to country. This is one facet of the “Farang” concept that Thais don’t seem to get or will ever understand. They place all white skinned people into one big category, “Farang”, and think we are all the same. Well, we aren’t. You see, the Thais are either too ignorant or lazy, or a combination of the two, to use the word “Foreigner” or “American” or “German” etc. There is a Thai word for foreigner, but you will rarely hear a Thai use it. (Chao Tang Chat).
White foreigners love Isaan women
I am often asked by many Thais why white skinned foreigners are attracted to Isaan women. I ask them why they think that and am told that whenever they see a white guy, he’s usually with a short, dark skin, uneducated, immature Isaan girl, usually in a public place like a shopping center or something. I ask them how they think the white guy may have met the girl. Ninety-Nine percent of the Thais that I have had this conversation with (and I have had this conversation dozens and dozens of times) will say, “Pattaya, Nana, Patpong, Go-Go bar, etc.” As Jayson correctly stated, Thais will assume that the girl is a hooker or bar-girl. I have no sympathy for guys who get gawked at by Thais when they parade their bar-girl in public places.
I then ask them from what provinces in Thailand do these girls come from? Now here is where it sometimes dawns on them. If it doesn’t, then they are either turning a blind eye or are too ignorant to figure it out. The majority of the girls you see in those red light areas come from Isaan, from places like, Buriram, Korat, Udon, Ubon, Sisaket, Roiet, etc. How many white skinned, Chinese looking Thais do you see in the bars compared to the Isaan girls? If you look hard enough, you can find them, but generally speaking, you won’t find them in the bars. But hey, what if the majority of the girls working in the bars were white skinned Chinese Thais? Well, then you’d see the punters bonking them and parading them around in public. The color of the skin is irrelevant IMHO. So why aren’t the bars filled with the lighter skinned Thai girls? The answer is because the majority of the white skinned Thai women that are whores do not cater to foreigners. They cater to the richer Thai men. More on this later.
Do you think that the white men who come here for sex would stop because the bars were filled with the lighter skinned, Chinese Thais instead of Isaan girls? Hell no! In fact, I’d venture to say that you’d see an increase in business.
Thais see all white male foreigners as whore-chasers
“Thais know what’s going on in Pattaya, Phuket, and the seedier areas of Bangkok. They see farang guys trying to pass their hookers off as girlfriends and they know. Heck, everyone knows.”
If you live here in Thailand long enough, you will see who the majority of prostitutes really cater to and where the highest percentage of the sex industry really is. It isn’t in any of the places listed above. The majority of prostitution in Thailand caters to Thai men, NOT foreigners. This is the part of Thailand that Thais do NOT want you to know about or see. In doing so, it would taint their already heavily tainted image of the kingdom. Most foreigners do not know about the seedier places that cater to Thai men, and if they did, they’d see that the Isaan girl that they just bought that 8 baht necklace for is a reject, bottom of the barrel whore from Bumfuckaburi.
Let me give you a better perspective on this. I live in Isaan, in Korat. There are dozens of fishbowls, karaoke bars, cafes, short-time hotels, etc here exclusively for getting your rocks off. They are NEVER filled with white foreigners. Occasionally, you’ll see maybe one white guy in any one of these places or perhaps a few more when the American Military holds exercises here, but for the most part, they are FILLED with Thai men. Korat even has its own version of a typical Pattaya gogo bar. The place is packed every single night, not with the white folks, but with Thai men, many of them Meng Da who are negotiating for prostitution right there in the bar while groping the girls and trying to perform a gynecology exam right there in the bar. A lot of these places also exist in Bangkok and certainly in almost every province I’ve been to in Thailand, but most white folks don’t know about them. Do you know who Khun Chuwit is?
Let’s face it, Thai men never chase whores, get drunk, or visit red light districts like us foreigners, right? Horse shit! They do so even more than the foreigners and they do not want you or the rest of the world to know about it. This is the reason why names of places like Pattaya, Nana, Patpong, etc., are always the scripture in their argument as proof that the “Farangs” who visit Thailand are all bad and only interested in sex. I’m sorry, Thai men are outstanding people who would never get involved in that sort of thing, not even the most respected people of Thai society. Bull shit. Go take a stroll into one of Khun Chuwit’s venues. That’s even if you can get in one!
“Yet, most Thai women– and we’re talking in the 99 percentile–would still rather work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, for pennies, than sell themselves to foreigners for twenty times the money.”
Notice that the Thai man is left out of the above statement and it only applies to foreigners. This is the kind of bigotry which severely hampers me from ever taking Thais seriously or earning my respect. Getting a Thai to change is like putting someone in a round room and telling them to pee in the corner.
Let me go on to say that any Thai man who looks down on Isaan girls or leads you to believe that they don’t prefer them is full of shit. While most Thai men will tell you they prefer the white skinned, tall, long black haired Thai- Chinese girls who have good jobs and don’t work in bars, a lot of them do go with the Isaan bar girls. In fact a very large percentage of them do. It’s okay for them to do it, but when a foreigner does it, it’s looked down upon. Thai men are just more discreet about it. They don’t parade whores in public as their girlfriends and that’s the difference between western punters and Thai punters. The Thai attitude is, “as long as it’s discreet and no one knows about it, then it’s ok.” Let me give you a few examples. I have a friend who owns the two largest short-time hotels here in Korat. One of them employs cameras in some of the rooms. Sorry, please don’t ask me which hotel or room numbers. I want to stay alive here. What I’ve learned is that typically on the weekends, a lot of Thai businessmen venture up here to Korat to see their Isaan Mia Nois. Most of the Mia Nois have their own apartment, car etc., sponsored by their sugar daddy. The short-time hotels are a very popular spot for hanky panky when these rich Thai men come to Korat. The places are filled on the weekends, and on Valentine’s Day, you can’t even get into one! All the young high school kids are shagging their brains out.
In the apartment building where I live, there are seven known Mia Nois. They are ALL dark skinned, fairly short, Isaan girls. Five of them work in cafes, two of those five have a local Thai boyfriend that the sugar daddy doesn’t know about, and two who do not work full time, but are college students just nineteen years old and work part-time in a karaoke bar (Sai-Lai). I know when the sugar daddies are here because they all drive BMWs and Mercedes.
Let me share a secret with Jayson and the rest of the Thai men who think they understand us. For the expats who live here, we know things too, and we share things with each other that we’d never share with you Thais either. The pendulum swings both ways. Do you think we don’t know what’s going on when we see the following?
1) An old Thai man having dinner with an Isaan girl half his age. (And no. Don’t even try to tell me it’s his daughter. Even Thais know what’s going on here. You don’t see this a lot but it does happen. Everyone knows it’s his Mia Noi.)
2) Thai men who make a ridiculous attempt at trying to speak English with us. (Trying to impress their friends.)
3) Thai men who will rudely interrupt a foreigner and try to sit and talk to us. (They have an agenda. It may not be apparent at first. Give it time and you’ll see the ulterior motive.)
4) Thai men who frequent Karaoke bars, Cafes, Massage parlors, etc. (You like to sing and have a relaxing massage? Yeah right.)
5) Thai men who all of a sudden become experts on sudden current events like the 911 attacks on the U.S. (It’s to make up for their lack of intelligence and inability to aspire to anything mentally challenging.)
6) Thai men who invite you out for a night on the town. (It usually means, you get to pay)
7) Thai Meng Da who try and sell their whore girlfriend for 4000 baht long time. (Start at 500 baht here in Korat and you’re in the right ball park)
8) Thais who seem to always ask, “What do you think of Thai people / Thailand?” (This is because Thais are still searching for their own identity and don’t want you to look down on them and see them for who they really are. Let me also add that I too will also tell Thai men what they want to hear or think they want to hear and when they walk away, I chuckle to myself thinking what idiots they are.)
9) Thai men who tell me the girl with them is their sister and Thai women who say the Thai man with them is their brother. (If you’re going to lie, at least be a little more creative)
10) Thai men who drive big expensive cars they can’t afford. (You’ve financed it for 30 years and live in a shit hole and eat Kau Man Gai for dinner every day. I see these guys on my soi all the time paying 20 baht for a plate of slop, then drive away in their big shiny new BMW.) By the way, the bigger the car doesn’t mean the bigger your penis.
11) Thais who talk trash about the expat sitting at the table next to them assuming they are just some dumb tourist who doesn’t understand the Thai language. (FYI, a lot of the expats here do speak, read, and write Thai. Part of the fun is not to speak Thai and listen to what Thais really say about you. I love doing this, then whipping into the Isaan style dialect with the waitress. Love the looks on their faces)
The list goes on and on, but I think you all get the point.
Racism in Thailand isn’t as bad as it is in America
“A mother will tell her daughter to stay out of the sun, but there’s never going to ever be an editorial in the Thai papers that says dark people are inherently bad.”
Nah, instead the Thais will blatantly show racism in the form of TV commercials, media, even signs at certain nightspots (Asoke bars).
During the late part of last year and even the earlier part of this year, there used to be a herbal toothpaste commercial on Thai TV here. This is the one that was mentioned in one of Stickman’s bag of email. This is the one that starts off showing a balloon stuck up on a lamp post. This tall and very black skin guy gets the balloon off the post and gives it to the little Thai girl. The girl’s mother is horrified by this and basically tells her to stay away from that terrible black man. The poor black man, obviously sulking and looking sad and depressed walks back to his home. Sad music is playing. Upon entering his home, he decides to lie down on his bed, which is not really a bed, but a huge toothbrush head to look like he’s the black toothpaste. The announcer then says in Thai, “Outside black but inside, quality good.” I’d love to send a copy of this commercial to some of my black friends I have back in the states. Better yet, I’d love to send it to Jay Leno. Anyone ever heard of Dolly Toothpaste? Well, it used to be called Darkie toothpaste. Comedian Eddie Murphy even commented on it on one of the late night talk shows some time ago.
For those who have lived here for a while, you might remember the Krung Thai bank commercial a few years ago. This commercial portrayed foreigners, (all white skin mind you) teaching Thais how to do Thai things like, Thai dancing, cooking, and even the language. At the end of the commercial, the commercial goes on to say, “Is this what you want?” First of all, when the fuck have foreigners ever taught Thai people how to do Thai things? Foreigners are excluded from this type of work in Thailand. Second, why didn’t the commercial show any other races like the Japanese, Blacks or Hispanics? Finally, what the fuck does this even have to do with banking? Guess who runs Krung Thai bank?
Discrimination based on age, sex, etc., also exists in Thailand in the most purist and extreme forms. Pick up a copy of the Bangkok Post or the Nation and check out the classified Jobs sections and read a few of them.
One needs to remember that Thais are typically insecure. They always want to be on the winning side regardless of the possible future effects of their decisions. Xenophobia is a trait that seems to prevail in most Thais.
Thai Man no good!
If I had one satang for every instance that I heard this phrase, I’d be the richest guy in Thailand.
“What you really want is a Thai woman who’s not interested in a farang guy. Actually prefers a Thai guy. You win over that sort of woman and you’ve got something. Then you’ll know that she’s interested in you for you and nothing else.”
This statement is backwards. Given the track record of a lot of Thai women and Thai men, based on my own experience, friends, and others posted on this site, the Thai women needs to win ME over. Then SHE’LL know SHE’S got something.
According to this statement I have to win a Thai women over a Thai man who’s typically a drunk, womanizer, insecure, cheated his way through college, is physically and mentally abusive, cheap, self-centered when it comes to sex, has a Mia Noi or Gik, etc. This is going to be a real challenge for me. Let me first say that from my own experience and experience of others, a large percentage of Thai men do NOT make good partners for the reasons stated above. Are a lot of men the same in other countries? Of course, but Thai men are typically known to have the propensity to engage in discord. It’s a fact, and if anyone tells you that the majority of Thai man are not like this, then they are full of shit. The ones who make such absurd statements don’t want you to know the truth. So, are there any good Thai men? Of course there are, but you as a foreigner will never really know how good they really are. I work very closely with a lot of Thais and I can say based on my own experiences that the majority of Thai men are not what I would call marriage material by my standards.
Why do you think Thai women will say to a lot of foreigners, “Thai man no good?” Well first of all, for the most part, a lot of Thais are nothing short of what they accuse foreigners of being who visit their country. It’s okay for them to do it, but not you.
If I have to win over a Thai woman from a Thai man who is a drunk, whore-chaser, two-faced bigot, then she deserves to be with that Thai man. It’s actually quite easy to “win” over a Thai woman who prefers Thai men. Most Thai women haven’t had the experience of being with a good white man. I’m not talking about the ones who come to Thailand and live in Pattaya for the duration of their stay. I have a Thai girlfriend of two years and have asked her if she prefers white skinned foreigners over her own Thai counterparts. Her answer was that she had never been with a foreigner except me. She’s not a bar-girl and has never been one. She’s an educated girl who has a good job in a local hospital here in Korat. She then went on to tell me that it didn’t matter to her what color a man’s skin was or where he comes from. She wants someone who will love her and her only. One who will not leave her home alone at night while her other half goes out whoring at night or gets drunk every night. She wants someone who would like a family and be part of a family and take care of the family… not her family, but OUR own family. She and her family have never asked me for money or a hand out. Not once. In fact, it’s sometimes difficult for me to pay for things because they always insist on wanting to pay for everything. They are not rich. They are second generation Chinese. She’s Thai-Chinese and not a dark skinned, short, ugly, uneducated Isaan girl that most Thai people in their stereotype thinking tend to think that foreigners want to be with. So the argument that all foreigners prefer dark skinned Isaan is moot at best.
“it’s easier, and much more empowering, to believe that Thai and Thai society is screwed up rather than to fess up to their own deficiencies and shortcomings.”
When Thais are able to do this themselves, then they’ll earn my respect. They don’t want you or anyone else to focus on their deficiencies. They shun responsibility and are so consumed with how the rest of the world sees them. This is why the foreigners will always be in the thrust of their argument and why Thais will retreat into the scriptures of Pattaya, Nana, and Patpong. When Thais do this, I see it as nothing more than a diversionary tactic used to try and prevent me from focusing on Thai reality and seeing the part of Thailand that they don’t want me to see or know about. It has nothing to do with “fessing” up to our own deficiencies. That could be one of the reasons why many foreigners have left their own country and have chosen to live in Thailand. For me, I live here, work here, and pay taxes. I may not have as many rights as a Thai, but I’m sure not going to turn a blind eye or pretend to myself or friends that everything in this country is so hunky dory. I have no sympathy either for foreigners who come here and don’t take the time to learn about the people, culture, language, and especially the women.
In closing, here is something to think about. What would happen if a Thai man came to America or any other western country for the first time? I’m talking your average Thai man who can hardly utter a word of English, not the 1% that are educated or born in the west. How long do you think he would last? How difficult would it be for him to find a job? Would he ever get laid here? Would he be in control over women like he typically is back in Thailand? What kind of work could he find if he chose to live here? How would he adjust to the Western cultures? Makes you wonder doesn’t it?
A lot of good points made, BUT, I think you have been unreasonably harsh on many points too. Yes, some Thai men are awfully rough creatures, but there are a lot of decent Thai men too. What circles do you mix in????