Thai Girlfriends. A Kiwi’s Experience
By A Kiwi in OZ
Question No. 2 to Mrs Stick in your 7th August 2005 column made me think about my recent experience with my Thai Ex-wife. I could be a good warning for others.
Don’t get me wrong, not all Thai wives behave like mine but you have to be very careful, I have many friends who are married to Thais and have been for many years, very happily. These ladies, including my sister in law, are very upset at the eventual demise of our marriage.
In every city in Oz and I know all other western countries, there are groups of Thai women who get on with their lives and realise that they can build prosperity by partnering and supporting their husband's business and whilst still remaining Thai, accept the culture of their husband and adopted country. These ladies are fantastic and you cannot wish for a better wife and partner. I thought I was in this group for many years and then I found out the truth.
There are many more that want only a Permanent Residence Visa/Citizenship and the eventual government support, and (as most of us bring ladies back that are at least 10+ years younger than us) other benefits they can get from finding a younger and richer Farang. However, that is only after they have bled you dry.
There are two factors you must ensure happen before making a final commitment to a Thai lady if you do not want to be cleaned out. I will explain my reasons latter.
1. Have her checked out by a component investigator in Thailand. (Not an intentional advert for your service Stick). You cannot be there all of the time, to ensure that all she says is true. Many Thai girls can literally `not lie straight in bed’ in most cases they are so used to lying that it is part of the inherent nature AND MOST OF ALL ensure she is not a gambler. The temptations in Farangland of readily available casinos and private Thai gambling houses can be too great if she has the habit.
2. When you bring her back to your native country she will want to mix with Thai people, so she can talk her native tongue and partake in her customs. Most good husbands will go out of their way to ensure they help her find other Thai ladies to socialise with so she does not get lonely in her adopted country. This is where the problems can start, despite your wife/fiancé/GF’s best intentions. Check out these girls' backgrounds before introducing your lady to these other Thai women.
Most of the Thai ladies that have successful marriages to Farangs have either travelled or studied in Farangland, been involved in business or met their husbands through family or friends' introductions. Most, but not all, of those that have been
unsuccessful have worked in the `naughty nightlife’. When I met my Ex, she was working in a souvenir shop in Silom Village from midday till 6pm most days and as I was only down in Bangkok one night per week it was easy for her to spend
that night with me. It was not, till many years after we were married that I found out, from friends, she was also working in a bar in Soi Cowboy, so the two jobs mixed and matched well. See why I say get them checked out before committing yourself,
I thought that after nearly six months seeing her every week I had it all sorted out.
Without doing a check as described in 2 above on prospective friends you can end up in deep shit. My ex decided to attach herself to the richest of the Thai ladies she could find and ended up in a Casino environment that cost many thousands of $ per week. Her friend could afford it as her husband sold property and business to sustain her habit and still does. When I was $250K down I turned off the money tap. My Ex’s friend also introduced my Ex to other Thai girls that where earning very good money on their backs and living the good life, often to sustain the gambling. When the husband-supplied money turned off, money had to be found from another source, prostitution was that source. Initially it was during the day and then a richer, younger man (8 years younger than my Ex and she’s 43) appeared on the scene, he was a initially a customer. She latched on to him and he supplied her with gambling money, bought her a brand new car, and gave her new hope of riches, as I had by this time mortgaged my life to a point that I could not sustain, to support her gambling, and was literally broke. She and her daughter eventually moved in with her boyfriend and are supposedly renting rooms in his house and getting government assistance to sustain their lifestyle whilst suing me for maintenance and property settlement.
My message is beware of other Thai ladies that can influence your wife/fiancé/GF and your life style. It’s all about `FACE’ and `face’ to a lot of Thais in Farang land means money. Expendable money, a good house and car and other obvious financial indicators, such as gold and clothes are the measure of how well they have married and often, how high they are seen to be on the local Thai social ladder. For a lot of Thai girls they have never seen a lifestyle such as we expect to live, even in lower/middle class, Farangland. If they are greedy and associate with the wrong group, they often then see that there is even more to gain from either prostitution or, misconceived, from gambling.
As I said at the beginning, don’t get me wrong, I am not anti Thai ladies. In fact I am communicating with two at the moment, introduced to me by friends' wives who have known them since childhood, one is recently widowed and the other never been married, as she had to look after her parents, as they recently passed away, she is now free. This communication has been going on since shortly after my Ex left and I hope to return to Thailand soon to meet both of these ladies and maybe we will see where things lead from there.
Yes, one has to be so careful.