Stickman Readers' Submissions August 9th, 2005

Taeng Mo – Going For The Girlfriend Effect

Taeng Mo – Going for the Girlfriend Effect in LOS

By Newbie In Thailand

I have work to do. I have been gone from work two weeks and the paperwork is piled high on my desk. I need to go into work mode 24/7 until I take care of business. I am back into reality.

But first I have to tell my story.

He Clinic Bangkok

I am somewhat a newbie to the Pattaya scene. This was my third “unescorted” trip to the promised land. I can count on both hands how many bar girls I have been with.

Mid forties, fairly well recovered from two divorces, I pretty much have my head on straight. But I know I have to be careful. In the past I have been what I would consider a professional “rescuer” when it comes to relationships. A very
dangerous mental condition, mind you.

If some young readers don’t know what I am talking about, “rescuing” a girl and thinking you will be loved in return is one of the most dangerous things you can do. For one reason, they probably need to be rescued because they are
dysfunctional. Do you want a dysfunctional mother for your children? Okay. Enough said. Sorry I got sidetracked.

CBD bangkok

Okay. I was going for the girlfriend effect. What can I say? There have been a lot of recent articles about the dangers of going for the girlfriend effect, but I am a weak man. In all honesty, the many Stickman articles I read prepared me well for my
journey and I feel I came out relatively unscathed. Although I was, on a certain level, absolutely convinced I was a “velly handsome man,” I kept a level head and just absolutely enjoyed the fantasy.

Or is fantasy the right word? How about illusion? It was one of the most perfect illusions I have ever encountered. There are all kinds of illusions in life…the temporary illusion of being in the movie theatre, of getting engrossed in a computer game,
a suspense novel…but this experience took first place.

On one level of consciousness, I was her boyfriend and she was my girlfriend. Every once in a while, a few classic lines were played out by Taeng Mo, and all I could do is smile. Yes, yes, she did have a very sick mother in the hospital. More about that

But let me add quickly, heaven forbid, maybe her mother really was sick. Things like that can happen. What a shame we must be a bit jaded to play this somewhat dangerous game.

wonderland clinic

Okay. I am speaking in generalities. Let me get to specifics. After speaking to my spiritual advisor in all affairs dealing with bargirls, (via the internet instant messaging) I was persuaded not to see Noy again that evening, a lovely young lady from
Tahitian Queen I had spent the previous two nights with. Being a gogo bar with the standard 2,000 baht per night let’s-play-longtime fee, I could not really suffer the girlfriend illusion.

(At 1,000 baht, the illusion was quite real, as what girl would possibly want to stay with me for 1,000 baht a night? It must be true love!! )

I think psychologically that’s part of the trap of the GFE. Our western minds cannot process the fact these girls are staying with us for pennies on the dollar! Ah, all the wasted years before I found Thailand! Sigh…

I was actually a bit worn out from my two nights with Noy, and not having resorted to pharmaceutical aids, I was thinking of taking the night off. I was walking down Beach Road 2 right before getting to Soi 8 – Rolls Royce Bar – and received
a real nice smile from one of the young ladies. I made a note and kept on walking. I eventually wound up at the major mall complex where the theatre is, and although I saw a number of good lookers, there was something about that smile that made
me head back to the Rolls Royce. I was thinking to myself, if she’s no longer available, I will probably go back to the hotel alone.

I passed up the bar once and circled back, and Taeng Mo mentioned later she saw me walking by. Taeng Mo…why did I pick her out? I guess it all started with that smile. Go figure.

She is partly of Chinese descent, and I think that made her stand out a bit. She was very cute, but not drop dead beautiful, and I figured she would have a better attitude in part because of this. And trust me, I am not trying to take anything away from
her. She was a total sweetheart for four days! (With just a few fishing lines thrown in to test the waters of my naivete…but, hey, they turned out to be quite harmless. No harm done, mates!)

I just had it in my mind that she would be low-key with no drama, and that is what I was looking for. In fact, I was even thinking of giving her a rain check that evening and hoping to rebuild my energies for the morning. Well, things didn’t work
out that way, I am SO PROUD to say. Yes, yes, I know. I paid to be with this girl, but you know what? Why would a 26-year-old girl sleep with me otherwise? So the system seems to work out quite well for me, thank you very much!

Taeng Mo I felt was quite petite, so I was surprised when she told me she weighed a whopping 45 kilos! I will have to take her word for that. Absolutely beautiful legs, thin and smooth, and the absolute smallest bit of pooch that you would need a magnifying
glass to see. Thus, of course, she thought she was fat and old! Well, no problems here. Let’s be clear here, in case there are any misconceptions. She looked 20 and by American standards was totally anorexic. Good God, I love Thailand!

Her skin was also very light, which she seemed to take great pride in. A windbreaker accompanied her during the day to keep her arms covered from the sun.

I asked her name and she said “Moo.” (Spelled Mo but it sounds kind of like Moo.) I thought that was quite quaint. “It is actually Taeng Mo. That means watermelon in Thai.”

Well, it kind of sounded like Dang Moo to me, and that just cracked me up. I am easily entertained.

Well, we took the baht bus to Jomtien, as I was expanding my horizons a bit to see how I liked it on the other side of Buddha Mountain. I truly enjoyed it over there. Very quiet, easy baht bus ride back and forth. I was ready to call it an evening and
crash out for the night. I was happy just to have her there. I remember looking over in the dim light and watching her smile. It really moved me – beautiful young Thai girl, snuggling next to me, propped up on one elbow, and – smiling.
It’s the simple things in life that make it all worth while.

Well, like I say, I was ready to go to sleep, but Taeng Mo’s work ethic kicked in, she took the initiative and a good time was had by – well, at least by me, for sure.

Little side note here. I am spoiled. I hate condoms. I can see why Dana lives on the dangerous side, but I can’t go there. A necessary evil, they are.

In the morning, I wasn’t going to be greedy, but again Taeng Mo instigated things and awoke my selfish desires.

Well, call this rookie inexperience, but I gave her 1,500 baht instead of 1,000. My friend reminds me bank managers make 500 baht a day, but I couldn’t help it. She made me happy. I couldn’t send her away with 1,000 baht. She stood at the
door and looked at me and I could read her mind. She was thinking: So that’s it, huh? Another one-night stand. She gave a half grin, of, well, that’s life, I suppose, and headed down to take the baht bus back to Jomtien.

That could have been the end of the story. I was going to be strong and be a good butterfly like my spiritual guide had urged me to do, but fate was to intervene….kind of.

That day, with Taeng Mo gone, I finally got my act together and had a good workout that morning, followed by a great swim at the Grand Jomtien Palace pool. It was very enjoyable, especially with all of the topless European women lounging about. After
that, I rented a motor scooter and went exploring out of town, making my way to a seaside restaurant somewhere south of Jomtien.

I went back to the hotel to take a quick nap and I woke up the next morning. One precious night in Jomtien spent alone. Very sad indeed.

Well, here I was all alone, and guess what I spied in the bathroom? Taeng Mo’s necklace. Sigh. I knew deep down if I were to return the necklace, I would be too weak to walk away, but still, this was in fate’s hand. I had to do the right

I was afraid I would “miss” her, so I showed up at the bar quite early, around 6:30. She was facing away from me and I shouted over the music in the outside beer bar, “Taeng Mo!!” I just love saying her name. It has such a
happy sound to it.

She turned around in surprise and her eyes lit up and gave me a big hug. She told me: I tell my friends I don’t think you come back. I think maybe you big butterfly. I told her I had a gift for her and pulled out and gave her back her necklace,
fastening it back around her neck.

Call me a sentimental fool, but when someone appears happy to see me or happy to be with me, that is half of the package right there. On a number of occasions on this trip I used the line: Kuhn sabai dee, pom sabai dee. (You’re good, I’m

And, yes, I think she was happy to see me. Heck, I am reasonably fit for my age. I shower and use deodorant. I am reasonably generous and easy going. In defense of men in their forties, I was told by Noy (first two nights in Jomtien on this trip) she
prefers men my age. Younger men can be more abrasive, arrogant and demanding. Quote: They expect us to treat them good when they don’t treat us good. Makes sense to me.

So off we go. I ask her if she wants to go swimming in the morning, so off we go to a shopping mall to buy a bathing suit. We start at the fancy mall, but she looks hesitant and pulls me back out onto Beach Road to an outside vendor to pick out her suit,
probably saving me quite a bit of baht.

I have absolutely no memory of what we did that evening…all of my lazy days and nights having blurred together, but I know I enjoyed her company. She modeled her swimsuit for me and I snapped a few pics.

Later that night, we were just snuggling up in bed getting pretty close to sleepy time when she again, God bless her, instigated things. I remember telling her: You know, I am just happy with your company, but I guess since you are practically naked and
so am I, well, what the heck.

Well, this is where I have my big moment of conscience, to help prove to myself I am not a total hedonist whoremonger. I hope it doesn’t become too tiresome to tell, but actually, I am quite a sensitive fellow.

Like I said, I truly enjoyed her company, her smiles, her looks, and like I said, I was just happy with her company, much less all the extras that came with the package. So here I was, having her lay on her stomach as I was having my fun, and bingo, out
of the blue I start thinking: Gosh, I really like this girl. She really is a sweetheart, and here I am banging her for 30 bucks and going to dump her in the morning. What a lowlife s-o-b I am. And though it pains me to say it, limp I went and
I didn’t even pretend I was going to proceed. I told her, sorry, I think I like you too much. (Of course truth be told, the condom didn’t help matters. I am not used to such inconveniences.)

Lying there in bed afterwards with Moo in my arms, I don’t want to minimize my feelings I had in this regard, but I soon had to put such vestiges of moral quibbling aside. A more important issue was now at hand, my self-image as defined by performance.
After a short break, I knew what needed to be done. I awoke dear Moo, who I cared for deeply, who I was going to pay a paltry sum to and then abandon in the morning, and gave her a jolly good pounding.

Okay…so I didn’t kick her out in the morning. I was enjoying the girlfriend effect, remember? I had a moment of weakness remembering my lonely days prior and asked her to stay with me the rest of my trip. She happily agreed. I may not know much
about Thai women, but I know one thing, they love their Thai food. Instead of taking Moo to the free buffet breakfast, I took her to a pleasant Thai restaurant along the beach and had a great dish of rice with seafood for breakfast. Excellent

We then went by the Rolls Royce Bar to pay the 200-baht bar fine and to pick up clothes at her apartment on Soi 7. I wanted to go upstairs to see her apartment, but the lady at the desk wanted 100 baht. Well, I had been overtipping everybody for the last
week, and I just wasn’t in the mood to part with 100 baht. Guess I will just have to check it out next time.

At her apartment, Moo gather quite a nice selection of sexy/slutty semi-revealing attire. I was quite pleased. Took a few pics in her different outfits. If you want to see them, just email me. I will be happy to share, as there is literally no one I can
talk to locally about my adventures! (I also have a few pics of Noy.)

That afternoon we were being quite lazy and her phone rang, which I must confess, was quite a rare event. It only rang once before when we first went out, I believe from her curious friend to see how the evening was progressing.

The first thing I heard her say was “Chiang Mai.” Then later on I heard the word “farang” mentioned one time in the middle of the conversation. The TV was on and I was a bit far away, but I thought the voice was possibly a
man’s voice, but I was probably mistaken. She told me it was her sister calling, that she told her sister she was in Chiang Mai working a regular job of some sort, but she had one farang friend that she was with. The whole time I was in
semi-Stickman investigation mode just assuming this was the Thai boyfriend checking on his girlfriend, but in hindsight I have no real reason to believe it was anyone besides her sister. It makes sense she would tell a relative she was in the
wrong place if she was embarrassed by her current circumstances.

Initially, I was thinking, if she is talking to her sister, why was she talking about a farang, but she volunteered that information later of what she told her sister about having a single farang boyfriend.

Well, it came out that her sister was calling her about her mother was going to the hospital…she needed to come home soon. And, again, I was in Stickman investigatory mode, assuming any mention of a sick mom was the signal for me to hand over extra
cash. And again, in hindsight, I have no idea, absolutely no idea whether the conversation really involved a sick mom or not. And that kind of makes me sad, because I was having the perfect girlfriend effect in Jomtien.

Too good, in fact. Deep down, I was hoping to catch her in something, anything that would define her as “just another bargirl,” something to ground me in reality, so I wouldn’t hurt myself and fall in love with this girl.

I actually took this phone call as an excuse to knock her off the “perfect girlfriend” pedestal, imagining that this whole conversation was a ploy to get me to further open up my wallet. Now “temporarily” viewing her as just
a solitary sex object, a bargirl just trying to extract maximum baht from her customer, I found myself suddenly feeling extremely frisky and, for once, instigated our next physical interlude, afternoon delight – on steroids. While I was
having my fun, I kept the image of her doing all of this for her Thai boyfriend, bad little Thai girl misbehaving. And I must admit, it was the best sex I had on the trip.

I went to shower and wash off, walked back into the bedroom with my towel around my waist and said: “You really do love your momma, don’t you?” That was wrong. I try not to be a bad man, honest I do.

Again, looking back at this conversation, to this day, I am clueless as to whether her mother truly was having heart problems. If I had to bet $1,000 at the casino on the right answer, it would be a 50-50 coin toss.

That evening, we both go to get a haircut off Walking Street, as I want to be a velly handsome man for her. It’s a good cut, and we wind up eating on the pier, again, off Walking Street. We order a big fish, which is percolating over a pit of charcoal/wood.
Flopping the fish over, I saw how easily the whole thing could have tipped over, with hot coals flying everywhere. What a safety hazard! The thing was extremely top-heavy.

Learned something new that evening…don’t go to eat too early! It was hot as hell and we sweated like pigs, even though the sun was just setting. Ah, well.

We went back to the hotel fairly early and were lazy, which was fine with me. Neither one of us felt the need to hit the tourist traps. Hanging out in a hotel with beautiful Moo was vacation enough for me! And she didn’t ever instigate a shopping
trip. Have to give her credit for that.

Night three and things are going great. I was equivocating on my choice to do the girlfriend thing, but everything has its pros and cons. Every once in a while I would see a real looker and slap my head, thinking, oh, wow. But overall, I did enjoy the

The next day we again started with a Thai breakfast…this time with fried egg on top of rice with pork on the side. Not too bad. Got in a good workout while Moo watched TV. I have never sweated so much in my life. Grand Jomtien Palace has an open-air
gym next to the pool with a great view of the ocean. I could get used to this routine, I think.

Afterwards, we “finally” went for our swim. It was great. She hung onto my shoulders and neck as I swam laps in the pool, completely dependent on me to keep her from drowning. Happy, happy times. No worries, mate.
I was feeling
pretty good as we crept up on night four, my last night in Jomtien. Took a great pic off the balcony of the sun setting, which I have as wallpaper for my office computer. We split a large Singha on the patio, and I had my shirt off, as I was a
velly handsome man. Well, at least that’s how I felt. Close enough.

Moo then took the lead to take me to a great restaurant right across Beach Road 2 from the Marriott in Pattaya. Live entertainment. Classic dancers, sword fights, stick fights. I will definitely return! Moo asked the waiter for us to move tables so I
could have a better view. Very thoughtful.

I watched how people viewed us at the restaurant. No one seemed to care I was with this young Thai girl. The greeters wai’d courteously to both Moo and me. Even at the hotel, they began to get used to seeing me with Moo. They were probably impressed
I wasn’t a total butterfly. The fat German lady kind of gave me a funny look, though. I would have been disappointed if she didn’t.

As time went by, she told me more about her personal situation, how she sends money home to mom, for her child, that her rent is 3,000 baht per month.

Moo: “I don’t shop. Just send money home. If I don’t eat, that’s okay, but mom and baby must eat. I don’t have TV, don’t have stereo. If I want to watch TV, I go to bar.”

She points to items of clothing she has on. “This cost 80 baht. This cost 100 baht.” Points to necklace: “This cost 80 baht.”

Moo always said thank you whenever I bought her anything, no matter how small, a soft drink and snack at the 7-11, a 50-baht phone card, or a 50-baht breakfast.

She never said a word, though, when I slipped money into her purse in the morning.

I think back and remember sleeping on the very edge of the king-size bed. Any further, I would have been on the floor. And Moo was right there next to me, cuddling, sleeping on top of my arm. There was plenty of other space to choose from. And I think
about the many times I have read: With bargirls, it’s all about the money. And the two images churn in my mind like the waves of the sea, crashing against the shore, surging forward, then receding, never quite reaching equilibrium, never
settling down to be defined, measured and proportioned.

I look at her pictures still, and I feel a definite surge of emotion. They are in check, I am sure. I am pretty sure. I am older and wiser. I read Stickman. I will be strong. What is this emotion? Not sure, but it is kind of a tingly numbness. Go figure.

Okay. I think I lost my train of thought there. Let’s continue.

Last night in Jomtien, night four. Pom rahk kuhn flows easily from her lips, and I tell her the same thing. Hey, we are allowed to play along with the illusion, right? We are just pretending to be lovers, right? No one is going to get hurt –


I told her she could leave around noon, if she wanted to, while I got my thoughts together for my departure around 5:00, but she insisted on staying with me to the end. She was going to put me into the taxi.

Moo: You see me in December for Christmas, yes?
Me: Yes, Moo, I see you in December.
Moo: You remember my birthday, yes? (Big smile.)
Me: Yes, Moo, I remember your birthday…September 23. (Big smile.)

I am a newbie to the “girlfriend effect” scenario, but I figured a small parting gift was in order. But at the same time, I wanted to stay strong and show myself in charge of the situation, not totally emptying my wallet to her. I had been
very generous in the tip department the last few days, so I handed her $20 and told her: You poor, I poor, but I want you to have this.

She looked at the bill with a puzzled look on her face. After a short pause, she says: 80 baht? No, teeruk, 800 baht. Another short pause, a puzzled look, then a smile. Thank you, teeruk! And I get a big hug.

She helped me pack my bags and we walked down to the lobby where the taxi was waiting. She earlier said she thought she would cry, but I took the lead in this being a happy parting. I had a wonderful 4 nights and would remember this trip, well, for the
rest of my life. (I don’t get out that much, mind you!) Moo too was all smiles. She waved good-bye and was laughing good-naturedly with the doorman. Turning the final corner, she waved once more with a big smile. And Moo was gone. And I
was left with the memory of a wonderful smile. Just the way I planned.

And that’s the end of my story. Almost.

Just for funs and grins, I called Moo a few times. It was very hard to communicate past the “Pom rahk kuhn” and I was going to let it go.

I called up my spiritual advisor (who is fluent in Thai) and told him to please give Moo a call, that I wanted Moo to look up his girlfriend in Pattaya, who saves her money, has over a dozen head of cattle, who takes off weeks at a time to help in the
temple, who has a fuuuuuchur. I wanted her to be Moo’s big pi, big sister, to give her guidance, so Moo too would have a future.

My spiritual advisor kept me updated throughout the conversation via instant messaging on the Internet. It was all going smooth. My spiritual advisor was giving her western-style advice. Maybe this will all have a happy ending, I think.

Spiritual advisor: She seems quite sweet. Very easy to talk to. Says my Thai is great. She talks slow for me. Says she misses you very much. Wants you to come riao riao! I laugh.

Tell her I will quit my job right now.

Spiritual advisor writes: She is crying. She wants to go see mom, but she doesn’t have any money. I asked her what happened to all the money you gave her and she says she sent it to her mom.

I think of Stickman and I type back: What am I supposed to say? I am very sorry. (Bad feeling in pit of stomach.)

The conversation ends and I feel numb. I went from my last memory being Moo smiling to Moo crying. I don’t sleep well that night. I am not Richard Gere and Moo is not Julia Roberts.

Spiritual advisor tells me: Go to bed. Moo is in this for the long run. She makes more than a bank manager and can’t hold onto her money.

The words stick in my head: Moo is in this for the long run.

Unless I rescue her, I think.

Wouldn’t that be romantic?

Stickman's thoughts:

Exchanging phone numbers and email addresses is where the problems start.

nana plaza