Questions For The Burned Farang
By Nak Pa-Jon Pai
After lurking on this site for several years, I feel compelled to add my two cents. Much has been written about Thai Bar Girls, "Good" Thai Girls, greedy parents and sick water buffaloes. Most of the rest are laments from tragic, disillusioned
farangs, moaning or railing about how a Thai temptress broke his heart and took his money.
I have one question: What the hell were you thinking?
Now stop right there, don't assume anything. This is not your typical "What do you expect? They're whores!" rebuttal. As different as Thailand is, compared to Europe or North America, what strikes me is how similar Thailand is. Why?
Because Thailand is populated with human beings and certain basic rules apply.
People fail everywhere, often miserably. Whether its marriage, business or lifestyle, they often fail for three simple reasons:
1. They make assumptions.
2. They don't manage their expectations (wishful thinking).
3. They don't use common sense.
Oh, and the lack of a true, honest effort usually rounds out the mix.
As for repeat offenders, Albert Einstein said it best: "Insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Allow me to now present a short course in anthropology. If you want to skip this, just go read "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus".
…. Start of course ….
– Human beings, like every other animal, are driven to survive and reproduce.
– Human beings, like every other animal, will do everything to make their life as comfortable as possible.
– Women are attracted to resources; Money, status, physical strength, intelligence, emotional support. In other words; Power. It might be financial, physical, social or political, but it all comes down to resources. This is so they and their offspring
will have the best chances for survival. Keep in mind, you get your jollies, she gets a kid for at least 15 years.
– Men are attracted to youth, firm breasts, beauty and health. In other words, they want to find the best possible receptacle for their sperm and maximize their chances for good healthy offspring, which of course, are cared for by the woman. Men either
work for it, fight for it or buy it.
…. End of Course ….
See? I told you it was a short course.
Now let's put failure habits and anthropology together and come up with some pertinent questions. When answering, there is one rule. I'll call it Rule #1:
Rule 1: Assumptions, wishful thinking and lack of common sense don't count as answers.
– If, in your own country, fluent in the language and brought up in the culture, you can't establish a stable relationship, what makes you think that you can go off to a foreign land and find paradise?
– If, in your own country, you see relationships failing, perhaps even your own, because one or the other gets a better offer, what makes you think another country will be any different?
– If, in your own country, you see relationships failing, perhaps even your own, because one or the other finally gets fed up with being ignored, taken for granted or just generally being treated like crap, what makes you think another country will be
– If, in your own country, you see some women attracted to fast cars, fat wallets and a free ride on the gravy train, what makes you think another country will be any different?
– If, in your own country, you see rich people waving their wealth in your face, disrespecting you, and it pisses you off, what makes you think people in another country will be any different?
– If, in your own country, you see foreigners as outsiders that never really integrate into "your" culture, and you don’t want them to, what makes you think another country will be any different?
– If, in your own country, you see some people living in squalor, that don't respect their possessions, don't manage their money and expect someone else to pay the bills, what makes you think another country will be any different?
You fly over to Thailand by the thousands, because you have the money, the power and you let the locals know it. You treat most of the locals like crap. You make little or no effort to understand the language or the culture and then you are either outraged
or heartbroken that you were fleeced and dumped. All of this in spite of the fact that you went over there with the intention of paying some girl (or boy) to have sex with you with no strings attached, i.e. no commitments, no responsibilities,
no respect and no morals. Somehow, in LOS, you don't need to use your brains because, over in Thailand, it's "different".
What the hell were you thinking?
VERY good advice.