Stickman Readers' Submissions August 15th, 2005

My Time In Thailand

Well after reading all the stories on this site and having moved away from Thailand I think it’s now time for me to have my say.

I first arrived in BKK in 2001 working for one of the large companies. I’m from the Netherlands and my company did send me to Thailand to work with one of their clients so I was very comfortable with a western salary and housing was provided. On
one of my first nights out, a friend took me to Soi 4 Bus Stop and within a few minutes there were lovely women all around me and I was feeling like a kid in a candy store. Yes I do like Asian woman.

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I took her home she never asked for a barfine or money and the next morning when I wanted to give her money she refused and said smiling, no need I like you. So I was flabbergasted, what the f**k is this. I went back soi 4 on many occasions after that
but I never did see her again. Due to my work I do meet a lot of regular people and after a while I did meet a so called Thai “good” girl. She was a marketing exec at a large Thai firm, had money of her own, a car and insisted on
paying for drinks and dinner every now and then. It took me 2 dates with her before she allowed me to kiss her and 3 more before we got intimate. At the beginning she was very shy but learned quickly and after a while she was very comfortable
with the whole thing. She introduced me to her family and I was asked to accompany them on trips upcountry to visit other family members. I never did get the idea the family didn’t like me, hell even the mother started buying me sweets
and gifts. I told her from the beginning I’m a traveler and I don’t know how long I will be in Thailand and I have NO intention of marrying you. She understood this very well I guess, as she never mentioned anything about a future
together, just being friends was OK for her. We did go to Hua Hin and Pattaya sharing the cost. She also knew I was having fun, whenever friends from Europe came over, or I wanted to see a sports event she went home and waited for me to call her.

My Thai improved a bit during that period and so did her English, but on the first meeting with her mother, I could not say a word in Thai, and the mother didn’t speak any English so no conversation was possible during that first dinner. Whenever
I looked at the mother during that dinner all she did was smile at me and gesture at the food which was nice. Since then I have made several trips to the Kingdom, staying 3-6 months in BKK and every time when I informed her I was coming she insisted
on picking me up at the airport bringing me back to the apartment and making sure I was OK and the meeting with the family improved where there was a mixture of bad Thai, bad English and a lot of gestures. Maybe the presents I used to bring helped
also. Flowers and sweets from Holland are a always a hit I guess.

I also did meet a lot of other woman / girls during my stay ranging from shop assistants and waitresses and always treated them nice and normal and most of all being honest to them and only one told me she didn’t like the idea of being just friends
and she wanted more. As for the bargirls I don’t pay them to have sex, I pay them to go away the next morning, and never ever get involved beyond that. Yes I did meet them outside the bar, took them for dinner, and let them bring friends,
the more the merrier. Try that for a change, barfine a few and take them to dinner, treat them nice and don’t insist on sleeping with any of them. You will see then next time you meet them they look at you in a different way.

On my other trips around the world whenever I did meet Thais being office workers or shop assistants I always talked to them and I managed to go out with them. Hardly ever am I asked for money. Now I live in the Middle East (Bahrain) and there're
a lot of Thai working girls here. In the bars around the city you can have your choice. Most of them come from Bangkok and they are making good money, around US$ 80 – US$100 per night. Luckily no BS stories here. They know what the score is and
again treat them nice and you will have a great time. It’s an island and you will see the same people every time.

What I’m saying is not to put each Thai woman on a pedestal and treat her like a princess but be a good and honest guy and a whole new world will open up for you. Once I drove around the country in Thailand and we saw a field with water buffalos.
We stopped and looked at them and agreed they didn’t look sick at all. My friend Noi who was with me laughed and said we must take pictures and take them back to the bar in Nana where she worked and show them to the other girls so they
can stop the stories. She told me she had heard those stories too and didn’t like the girls who where juggling 2 or more sponsors at the same time. She was open about having a husband back in the village and she worked in the bar to make
enough money to send her daughter to a good a school. She became a good friend when one night I was sitting in her bar chatting with a few girls when she showed up. She did go with a customer short time and she did drink a bit too much. I paid
her barfine so she could go home and sleep. The next day when I did see her she came over and we talked about it and I told her I’m just a normal guy and sometimes a butterfly and have no problem paying a barfine or paying for her time
but never will fall into the stories about sick families or animals, and the only reason I paid her barfine that night because it was clear she was sick (drunk) and I do like to help people if they really need it.

So my advice to all of you planning to come to Thailand. Be honest about your intentions, don’t drink too much. A girl is not impressed with the amount of alcohol you can drink, hell you might even like the experience better when you are sober
and your own physical health will be a lot better too.

Stickman's thoughts:

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Probably good advice for someone living here for a while. For a tourist, I think it might be a little different – they are here for a short time and want to make the most of it.

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