Readers' Submissions

My British Stigma

  • Written by Anonymous
  • August 16th, 2005
  • 13 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

By Beanflicker


I wasn’t sure how I was going to start my next submission, whether it was going to start like a story of what happened to me, or in answer to other submissions, I’ve gained a new vigour to accomplish something i.e. write here.

I find it rather a buzz to know that millions, I hope, will read my stories and get a laugh, as laughing I’m told uses many less muscles than frowning, and as people say I’m funny although I’m not sure if it's with me or at me. If it's at me, that will explain why I go to Thailand due to the fact that finding women in my own country has proved more and more difficult the older I’ve got, and over the last few years and the fact I stepped out of a relationshit with a farang bitch that took me for every penny I had, hence the reason it's easier to travel 12,000 miles, have a few beers, see a few girls in the land of smiles, ENJOY myself and think of how I can get back there as soon as possible. Just as well I didn’t marry her “as I lost the house” but that’s enough of that.

As you may be aware my writing isn’t the best in the world and I write as I’ve been told, like I’m speaking it. I’ve been told by friends that it looks ok. So I’m going to keep writing because you never know, I might start enjoying it.

So I’m going to start by saying that I was seriously disturbed by the writings of ‘Stick’ himself this week and others on the escalating violence in the land of smiles.

I don’t think of myself as a violent person, as I said in another submission. I think and have always had the impression that Thailand has a violent side as with all countries, and that if you were to get injured out there nobody would really care, as the second time we went, I had an idea of how it can be when someone has an accident as my friend did when HE got run over by a car and was left in the middle of the road to suffer with no one giving a shit. Not being too badly injured he came limping into the bar, ‘ranting’ “you never guess what, I just got run over”. Even I didn’t care to much as it was the last night, and the fact that he walked into the bar without any aid, so it wasn’t to bad. He did however have a bruise the next day, and fussed about it a bit.

As I said previous to this submission I’m not the violent type, but pushed, I can lose my head and forget where I am, not think about what I’m doing. I go over the top then chill out, problem over.

It's not until I arrived back in the UK as to the serious implications of how stupid I’d been, as when I had an argument with Thai1 in the Morning Nite Soi 4. I had approx 15,000 Baht in my pocket, a very expensive phone and my passport in my back pocket. Hearing about being drugged and being dumped at the airport is bad enough, but I was really asking for it. I walked in completely the wrong direction down Soi 3 then up Thanon Petchaburi then into Rachadamri and up to my hotel opposite the Central World Plaza. I later told Thai1, when we made up for the umpteenth time, and the argument that ensued with her about being more interested in other Farang was nowhere near as bad as when I walked home on my own at that time of night. She asked me as to which way I had walked, with the aid of a map, she said “you are crazy man, not do this to me again, I wully very much, I ring you, when you not answer phone I think you dead, I phone hotel they tell me you not get there.” She hit me with a playful slap, and said with a big attitude and a slightly relieved smile “you not do that again”. As in a cab it takes two minutes, even walking in the right direction by simply following the skytrain it still only takes 15 minutes.

As with ’Stick's’ submission, he told of the two students informing him of the dangers of Thailand. It gives you something to think about when a person as experienced as ‘Stick’ is to what’s in store for a person like me with limited knowledge. That doesn’t mean to say it's still not a pleasant place to go.

I’m not really a crazy television person but the programs you get on certain sky channels about the drunks and the yob culture of the UK, would probably make the Thais laugh there heads off, but I as I said in previous subs I’m not proud of my country of birth. But when ‘Stick’ mentions attacks on bikes and the words clubs, machetes, and knives it makes you think what your about to step into. I also said before his submission was posted that the Thais should keep the western values out.

I’m 36 and remember the old fashioned UK, what with Two-tone, Rudeboys and Skinheads but that’s a thing of the past, it seems to have got worse as time has gone by, you would think that society could learn by its mistakes and move on.

You can see violence on a daily basis and it makes you think how long we have left until the red button is pressed, then we who really notice, can turn around and say “we told you so” (if we’re still here that is) Einstein once said “he didn’t know how WWIII would start but WWIV would be fought with sticks and stones.

(You may think I’m straying off the point here, but I will get to the plot)

Three days after splitting with Thai1 (it did feel like WWIII sometimes with her) I went out to have good time, as I had started, after I left her, (and besides we are on holiday and when in Rome) but didn’t realise that the ‘FACE’ thing could really be as bad as they say it is. I’d got a bit pissed off with my friend because he was still seeing Thai2, he kept saying, and it sounded like he was getting more and more involved with her, “she ain’t as frequent with the sex anymore” and he really didn’t seem to be enjoying himself, probably in part to me finding a few more women on my holiday.

We walked along Sukhumvit taking in the sights of all the street vendors and I started to walk away faster as they lagged behind, (probably shoes or clothes for her). I knew where I was heading for, it was the country Road (I think its Soi 21) as I had been there before and had had a good time in there. They have a live bands every night and my friend played drums, you can get up and sing, play the bass, they encourage audience participation.

I met this girl called Joon from Indonesia, beautiful body, legs to die for, no mush gut and she could speak relatively good English. She showed me her books from one of the local schools nearby. She did have trouble with the alphabet but I was more than pleased to help, as when we got back to the room (the next night, I will explain) we did this for a couple of hours.

Anyway later on I got a phone call from Thai2 asking where I was, I told them, and ten minutes later they turned up, we drank for a while, I can honestly say I was totally besotted with this girl – she was a true gem, “she even whipped my arse at pool”. I say that because for some unknown reason she kept looking over at me and smiling, ‘not concentrating on the game’ but still potting balls, “go figure”.

I later found out she was amazed at how white my skin was. I couldn’t keep my hands off of her, so I paid her fine, she changed clothes “but I wish she hadn’t, cause that blue bikini left nothing to the imagination” and we left. We went for a bite to eat and this is where it got nasty.

Thai2 decides it’s a good idea to eat at the all too famous Nana hotel, “nice food” but (I’m really starting to hate Soi 4) it's mentioned way too much and there is so much more to do. We sat down at a table near the window and were greeted as usual with smiles and the menu, we ordered, and the food was brought over, then my friend and Thai2 say “oh fuck please no, not know”. I said “what’s up?”. He said “don’t look now but Thai2’s walking this way”. I didn’t need to look because they sat next to us, no more then a table’s length away.

So picture the scene. I’m with a new girl “beautiful”, Thai2 was glad to see the back of Thai1 and we’re just starting to eat. Thai1’s got a new customer, but she did seem extremely drunk. I knew she was a whisky drinker as they all are, she then starts shouting at the top of her voice in Thai mixed with English bla bla WANKER bla bla ASSHOLE, this went on for a while, then the staff started to take interest as well, as did the rest of the restaurant. The bloke sitting with her seemed completely perplexed by the whole incident. My friend by this time, who I would say hasn’t got the greatest patience in the world, coughs up, “fuck I’ve had enough of this”, stands up, walks over, with me going “no man, don’t bother” and says to her “why don’t you shut the fuck up.” He walks around the table, feeling an explanation is due to our English counterpart. And Thai2 decides to sit down with Thai1 to calm her down, leaving me to explain to Joon what had happened. But it didn’t matter because she spoke Thai, and had heard her ramblings and said “it's ok, don’t wully”. I said to her “you go, I see you tomorrow”. It made me laugh because she just started to eat as quickly as she could, like food was going out of fashion, then started putting food in little tissues and placing it in her bag. I looked at her confused, and she said with a smile and a mouth full of food “I hungry, I eat later”. It put a smile on my face to see her content, and not be worried with what was going on around her.

I think I gave her about 500 Baht and told her to go out the door at the other end of the restaurant. She did the disappearing act “and very well I might add”. The bloke that was with Thai1 came over with a plan. As it turned out later as my friend was to explain, he was married and had only come out for a bit of fun and was known in Sukhumvit and he didn’t need the attention, so was rather anxious to leave by the rear entrance himself, so we devised a plan to all leave, with him leaving slightly behind to give us enough time to get away as I’d heard the mention of “I have friends that kill you” and the mere fact that she did have a pool cue on her, and was very good with it, I might add, so you can draw you own conclusions on that.

I walked towards the hotel. This is the second holiday so it was the Nana Thai Mansion. This was the hotel I told you about that they had conveniently arranged for us, so she knew where we were staying, adding to this our paranoia and we are in Thailand where anything is possible.

So I waited with Thai2 in the foyer for my friend as we got separated in the confusion. When we did see him, he informed me that he saw Thai1 outside and started an argument with her in the street. I’m not sure what was said but he didn’t want to stay at the hotel anymore and wanted to go to Pattaya there and then saying that he thought that in Thai1’s present state she was capable of anything. He got in a giant row with Thai2, with her saying they wouldn’t let her up the stairs, so I just chilled for a while then went to bed after convincing him to chill out, I did agree at first but, but dubious about 3 AM travel to Pattaya.

I went back to see Joon the next night with no problems and had a good evening with her “fantastic actually”, but that’s for me!!

We went on the nightmare Ko Samui trip that I submitted ‘titled’ “TRAINS, NO PLAINS & AUTOMOBILES” but did have an even better time when we got there “OH YEA”. So what am I saying, well there's violence everywhere. Only if you go looking for it though, ‘if I keep making out to be the Cheap Charlie’ I’m gonna find it if I bump into Thai1 again, which is why we’re following ‘Stick's’ advice and taking the plane to Ko Samui next time, spending I hope only one night in BKK.

Lets not be like the British and follow their (‘OUR’) should I say (I’m not proud of the stigma that is attached to me) example and bring our shit with us, there’s enough violence in the World, and the Thai people deserve respect. We are guests in their country remember, and they can chuck us out whenever they like. The Japs are just up the road and are prepared to pay way better than us, so CHILL, have yer fun, go home and plan the next trip. “ENJOY”

“ITS ALL ABOUT THE BAHT”

BEANFLICKER

Stickman's thoughts:

Thai women in situations like you describe tend to be all talk.