Readers' Submissions

Money For Nothing And Your Chicks For Free Part 2

  • Written by Anonymous
  • August 18th, 2005
  • 6 min read

I know the following article may offend and disgust some readers. I’m leaving an email setup just for your feedback and questions. Please feel free to add any tips I haven’t touched on for Part 3.

Due to the immensely positive feedback of Part I, I am now penning Part 2 of how to get fXXXed for free rather than paying for it like the average punter. Part I resonated very well with so many Stickman readers like yourself because apparently many of us have felt duped, manipulated, or lied to by a Thai girl (and her friends and family). Turnabout is fair play.

We work hard for our money and many of us already know that a fool and his money are soon parted. We don’t come to Thailand to be a mark for each greedy Thai girl and not at the very least a Thai girl’s friends and family. Many men are marks and they still get a starfish with attitude that they pay big bucks to! So here’s Part 2 which is based on the feedback from Stickman readers from Part 1:

Bye Bye In The Restaurant: NEVER let them know you’re not paying them inside your hotel room. There’s a time and place for everything. In private, a Thai girl can be very hard while in public, she’s a soft gentle lamb.

Do NOT try this in a farang restaurant. It is best done when you are surrounded by other Thais. Once you’ve decided you won’t be paying your girl, (a decision I make when my flight is arriving at Bangkok airport) then you must decide how to make the cleanest get-away once she knows what you’re up to. Quite a few readers suggested parting ways in a restaurant. The girl won’t want to lose face in front of other Thais by making a scene about her sex money owed.

The readers suggested telling her all day you want her to be your girlfriend to gain her trust. Once the bill arrives, get up to pay the bill and then tell her you’ll ring her later as you have an upset stomach. This might backfire because either she’ll say goodbye peacefully hoping that you will indeed ring her later or she’ll want to take care of you while you’re sick (read: take care of your wallet too).

Big C Bye Bye: Thai girls, their friends and family love to shop – with your money of course. This is just a variation of leaving them at the beauty shop which I recommended in part I. Once they’ve picked all their clothes for the big purchase on your tab, they will then head for the changing rooms with their arms full of clothes. This is your break and make good use of it. If you stay, you will be on the hook for the girls’ fees and the purchases.

Can My Friend Come Too?: Most have us have heard this question in our home countries and in Thailand as well. It’s an unnerving question for me because I now know my expenses have just doubled or tripled when her friend(s) join(s) us. Do your best to turn this negative into a positive by trying to butter the girls up for a 3some and then a promise of a shopping spree or beauty shop visit. The bottom line is, get what you can and then make your get-away while they’re shopping or “beautying” presumably with you footing the bill. Ideal situation is to get both girls to visit the changing room at the shop at the same time so you’re free to walk away (very quickly…).

Fake Orgasm: Women do it all the time but my reasons & objectives are completely different. When I’m banging away and I do cum, I do my best not to make any changes in my thrusting speed or intensity and I make a concerted effort not to make any noises. I then stop, complaining I can’t cum, blame it on her passively, and run to the toilet to flush the full condom as soon as possible. Tip: Don’t let her see the contents of the condom if there’s any light or you’re busted. I’ll usually wrap my palm over the condom pretending I’m removing it in disgust. I usually make a face that she sees and adds to her guilt. It’s a silly tactic but it does work! The girl cannot claim payment if she didn’t satisfy the customer, can she? I guess she could but she is usually too embarrassed to do so unless she’s a seasoned pro which I usually avoid anyway.

Street Cleaning: How does street cleaning connect to free sex? If a girl has a motorbike parked on the street outside your hotel, frantically wake her up in the morning telling her the street cleaner is coming and that they will move her bike to a different location unless she does it herself. Tell her it has happened to your sister or something plausible. You will possibly witness the fastest exit ever! No time to exchange money if she even remembers. This worked for one reader. For best results, you must pull of an Oscar winning performance or she’ll simply pull the blanket over her head and say “Mai Pen Rai.” D’oh!

Me Love You Long Time: Many punters head to Thailand for vacation but come home (alone) still in love with all their tiny bar girls. They are quick to keep up a long distance relationship with these far-away girls of their dreams. They are content to send them the money they need to stay out of the bar scene. Obviously if these Thai girls were honest all the time, (or even the majority of the time) with what they actually do with all this found money, there would be no need for “Stickman Bar Girl Investigations.”

A popular story is the girl insisting she wants to take English classes and she wants the farang to foot the bill. The farang thinking he’s clever by paying the school directly to cut out the middle person which ensure the funds aren’t misappropriated. The girls then drop-out from the classes before the set deadline and receive an almost full refund. Once again, found money.

I like playing them at their own game with this loving you forever bit. Men come to Thailand for the “Girlfriend Experience” they’re probably not getting at home. If it was so good at home, you wouldn’t fly across the world to get some loving from a stranger. I give these girls a “Boyfriend Experience.”

I always explain that I only want a girlfriend or wife, not a prostitute. This is why I’ve come to Thailand. I am very up-front about this so the girl can never say at some point later that I owe her funds for her sex work.

The key to this is never ever giving the girls the impression you are planning to butterfly. You get caught once you could lose it all and she might even demand payment. That’s not the worst thing to have happen because you can offer the “Boyfriend Experience” to another girl. The best targets for this tactic are massage girls because they work about 12 hours a day from morning to late night giving you plenty of time to butterfly far from their shops. The bar girls are far less predictable.

I hope my guides makes you re-evaluate, re-consider, laugh, get angry or offended and want to tell me what you’ve done to get a free fXXX or would only dream of doing to get fXXXed for free. Don’t be shy. What happens in Thailand stays in Thailand!

Stickman's thoughts:

You're going to end up dead in Thailand.