Stickman Readers' Submissions August 12th, 2005

How To Get Laid And Then Leave your Teeruk

How To Get And Then Leave Your Teerak

By Joe

Many of you have found life is not always beautiful with your bargirl lover. She is after you for your money, she really doesn’t respect you, and you are left feeling empty and used inside, yet still physically attracted to this wonderful girl.
So how do you go about finding a special girl; one that will love you as much as you love her. I believe you can do it, but it may not be as easy as walking on down to Nana or Cowboy. I’ve found that you can meet hundreds of beautiful ladies
each year in the wonderful city of Bangkok.

I’m betting that if you are generally a nice person and you keep yourself well groomed, you could have a date lined up on any day that you walk around the city. I say this, because before I married my teerak, I was able to meet someone
new and get a phone number or arrange for a date nearly every day that I spent 2-3 hours walking around. I’m certainly not handsome, but I do believe I’m polite, will often smile, am not afraid to start a conversation, and try not
to look disheveled.

He Clinic Bangkok

So, how would I go about doing this? Definitely, stay out of the bars, but more importantly stay out of the discos as well. Like in the West, I believe the discos (Sheraton, Hyatt, etc.) provide an avenue to meet someone, but many of the
women are on the make (for a customer) or will have their standards extremely high as they are looking for the next Brad Pitt. The whole atmosphere is catered to the BPs (beautiful people).

I can often go to the weekly flee market and strike up a conversation, or walk into the multitudes of stores all around BKK and meet people. I may still strike out many times, but I figure once I have talked to 10 girls, there will be someone
who is interested. That same approach would take 100 girls in the West before getting a “yes”.

Another idea is to go to a restaurant regularly where you see someone you are interested in. By just simply going in there regularly, you will be able to meet the owner and the staff and will naturally be able to get to know the object of
your desire. This does assume that it is a fairly small restaurant with average to below average business, allowing you the time to mingle with staff.

CBD bangkok

Find a hobby such as going to the gym or take a continuing education class at a local college in something that interests you. You will be meeting new people and your chances have just gone up dramatically to find someone special because
you have avoided the bar scene. None of these ideas are instant gratification, but don’t most of the good things take time?

Does this translate to success? That is the $50 million dollar question and one that can not be answered easily. I think it’s easier to say that your chances of success have been dramatically improved. I believe that there are some
cultural issues that one must overcome when dating/marrying a Thai, but I don’t really believe it is as large an obstacle as many people on this site believe. At the core, men and women are the same the world over. Women (Thai or not) want
to be loved and respected. Break down the cultural and language barriers and you will find a woman not that much different than her western cousins. Women are naturally born as nurturers and do look for a good provider, so to some extent, a women
will always be interested in how you can provide for her. Of course, the demands will vary greatly depending upon the woman.

As you meet and date these women, you are going to find a lot of women that just don’t meet your lifelong desires. Just like in the west, you are going to find material girls, selfish girls, ones looking for a walking ATM, some that
have some serious mental problems, some that are high maintenance, some that are low maintenance. Basically, you will find all types but most will be genuine simply because you are outside the bar scene. It may still not click just because they
are genuine, but you have greatly improved your odds. I don’t believe that only Isaan girls will be the only ones available to you because I’ve been with Thai/Chinese, Hi-So girls, and Isaan girls, so I certainly wouldn’t
shut the door on a woman because of a perceived reluctance on her part. You will certainly come across women that won’t date you because you are a Farang, but you will also find out yourself that many Hi-So and Thai/Chinese girls will jump
at the chance to date you! (And not just because you have $$$).

Personally, I believe that the Isaan girls have much more to offer. One, I’m not that attracted to the pasty white skin and flat asses that many Thai/Chinese seem to possess and secondly with their status in Thailand, I find many to
be very shallow in nature. Not that much different than someone with above average means in the West. We all know of very shallow or spoiled women here in the West (not to mention some men as well – momma’s boys). I am much more
physically attracted to the darker skin and more curved bottoms of the Isaan girls in much the same way that I am very attracted to Latinas for a similar physical appearance. But as a generality, I have found that an educated Isaan girl has had
to work much harder than her well off sister from Bangkok and that hard work has added character to her personality that will suit her well in the West making the type of changes and sacrifices to survive in a culture so different from hers. Certainly,
my opinion and one that I don’t expect you to share.

wonderland clinic

OK, so you have now met a better lady than you would have from the bar, but it still isn’t working out. You're just not made for each other. No worries, just like dating in the West, you can’t expect to hit the jackpot
right away. So how do I go about dumping her so she won’t go off the handle. I guess one of the generalities of Thai girls I do agree with, is that Thai women seem a bit more unstable during the breakup of a relationship. Again, I’m
not talking about bar-girls, but rather your “normal” Thai girl. I believe much what a bar-girl does during a break-up is an act. An act made to make you feel as uncomfortable as possible with threats of suicide, screaming, etc.
all in a ploy to have one final pay-out or save a relationship for some more payouts down the road. Think about it, these women have dozens (if not more) of breakups each and every year. It is the nature of their business. They will do whatever
possible to keep that gravy train flowing.

But what about the “normal” girl. I think part of their problem is not so much that they are Thai, but rather because many have had so few lovers. Add to that the element of face in Thailand and you do have a recipe for disaster.
However, again, I will say that I don’t believe there are as many differences with Thai women as many will have you believe. I do believe a sort of warped brain behavior happens to women around the world the minute you stick a dick into
them. Just like men check in their brains at the luggage counter at Don Muang, I believe women check their brains once you stick a dick into them. Go back to high school for a minute and think about all the freaks that went crazy when you broke
up with them. The same happened in college and even in some of my earlier years in the workforce. I’ve had women go absolutely beserk after breaking up with them. When you are working with a girl that becomes a lunatic, it becomes even
more embarrassing because everyone at work will know about it.

Well, as I’ve gotten older and thus many of the women around me have gotten older, you see less and less of this erratic behavior. I think it almost follows a perfect trend with the amount of dick that they have had. A more inexperienced
woman is going to be more emotionally out of whack. The more a woman is experienced, the better she is able to handle being jettisoned. Again, a generalization, but one that I have found seems to play a major role in attitudes. I’ve seen
40 year old Western women that are not that experienced go crazy during a breakup while 20 something women that are nymphs just laugh it off and are not as bothered by it. Either way, just like in Thailand, men often fret about breaking up with
their western women, not knowing how she will react and not wanting to be around her when she does; that is why so many of us try to take the easy way out and just not call anymore or see her any more and time just makes the breakup obvious. Of
course this doesn’t work when you are living with her.

With your Thai lover, just remember she is probably not as experienced as her western cousin, so the chances of her having an emotional trainwreck is greater. As such, just try to feel her out as much as possible and think about the best
way to leave her that will cause her the least amount of pain. I don’t think there is really a set answer because each girl will be different.

In closing, I will leave you with a somewhat humorous way to jettison a Thai girl sung to Neil Simon’s tune of “50 Ways to leave your lover”.

“The problem is you think with your little head”, she said to me
The answer is easy if you Sabai Sabai with me
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your Teerak

She said, “it’s really just my nature to give you a big smile”
And I hope my presence will relieve you for awhile
So I repeat myself in the hopes of staying with you Kyle
There must be fifty ways to leave
your Teerak; fifty ways to leave your Teerak
Just tell her your broke, bloke, go to Samui, Louie
Don't need to move slow, Joe, just listen to me
Go stark raving mad, Tad, don't worry about acting sad
Just talk about the
Pee (ghost), Lee, and set yourself free
She said “I’d like to help you if you’ll just listen awhile to me” Cum inside me and all your troubles will go free,
Just remember this all comes with a small fee
I said, I appreciate that, but would you please explain about the fifty ways
She said, "why don't I just suck on you tonight"
And I believe, in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then she rode me ‘til
I realized she was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your Teerak; fifty ways to leave your Teerak
I’m going to Nana, Ana, drinking at the Pong, Nong
I’ve got HIV, We, just listen to me
I want a new toy, Oy,
I don’t want to be coy, Noi
Just give me my key, Bee, and let me go free

Stickman's thoughts:

Good stuff.

nana plaza