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23 Days At The Nana Hotel



I just returned late this evening to the US after a 23 day ‘vacation’ in Bangkok at the Nana Hotel…

The boring stuff; I’m single 46; slightly disabled from a work injury, have a lumbar fusion with titanium rods and screws in my lower back, walk with a cane from the side effects of the injury / surgery, and BTW while I’m reasonably fit(ish); NO “the sun does not shine out my asshole” (as Stick is oft to say of the posters here). I’d gotten a nice settlement in the injury litigation, albeit not near enough to comfortably live the rest of my life here in the US. It is easily enough to live a great life in Thailand. Having seen most of South America which I’d care or wanted to see, I finally decided on Thailand for my “Asian Retirement Reconnaissance”.

I’d researched the ‘net, read this site daily, devouring the horror stories of lying, cheating bar-girls, the way they see farangs as having the letters “ATM” stenciled on their foreheads, etc (Great idea for a hat; white letters ‘ATM’ with a red circle and bar thru it). I’d even corresponded with people (who shall remain nameless) who post on this site to get some of the finer pointers. Still abso-tively posi-lutely nothing in all that research could have prepared me for my arrival at 2:30AM to the Nana Hotel when the parking lot is full of the freelancers, lady-boys, & working girls from NEP who were only bar fined short time that night and were still looking for work. I felt as if I’d suddenly shown up in an episode of Outer Limits or Twilight Zone. I half expected to see Rod Serling smoking a cigarette and narrating in the background. “Picture if you can, a man thrust into an alternate universe, another dimension; one that has no bearing on life as he knows it….”

Not having had a drink in over 20 years turned out to be more of a plus for me than I could have imagined. Also not particularly having a “thing” for Asian women didn’t hurt that much either. During my stay I happened to watch two occasions where pissed out of their minds farangs started something with smaller Thai guys; only to see 5 or 6 Thais jump in and quickly efficiently beat them into unconsciousness / submission. I really took to heart the “don’t start something with the Thai guys who sit in and outside NEP, watching their g / f’s, wives, what ever, get bar fined so they can later extract the money from them once ‘work’ is done for the night .

I’d done the Beer Garden ‘n seen the freelancers plying their trade, club-crawled thru every bar in Soi Cowboy & NEP. Believe me, it's no small feat drinking only water at 95 baht a bottle. (There towards the end of my stay the clubs I frequented did start selling me it at 50-60 baht finally.) Interesting how every club has a different water bottle shape so they knew right away if I brought one in with me. I was so water logged I could barely make it to the next bar to find the toilet. Good thing I’m not piss shy as the dancers walkin’ in lookin’ at me pissin’ was somewhat disconcerting at first, lol. During my club crawl, I’d found a few clubs I liked where they played music “from my era”, and got the DJs to play songs / bands I liked after convincing them to let me look thru their CD collections. I would usually make the rounds after 11 or so when things were getting “interesting”. I especially liked the last 2 or 3 sets the clubs seemed to do before they closed depending on the number of shifts with dancers. That’s when they’d play what I found out was ‘province music’ or maybe traditional rural Thai music and the girls would come alive, hand dance, sing along, and shout at the tops of their lungs.

I got used to watching the dancers do what I called “tree hugging” or the “pole dance shuffle” where they held the pole, listlessly shuffling their feet, talking to their friends, taking cell calls or SMSs, watching themselves or customers in the mirrors until they spied one looking at them. Suddenly they’d start dancin’, smiling, gesturing and trolling for the guys who’d show interest. More times than not they were all too successful in hooking the guy, go sit with them for a few lady drinks, then get dressed ‘n leave with their “customer” as they referred to them. To them; me not drinking every night was something of a novelty, but not near as much as my not picking any girls after nearly two solid weeks in the same bars. I did buy lady drinks for the servers, a few of the dancers, ‘n tipped some 50 baht for sitting with me for a few songs. After about a week the mamasan from the club came over, put her arm around me, gestured to the girls ‘n said, “You come here every night but pick no ladeeez, maybe you want lady-boy or man, huh?” I assured her I only liked women, but was just looking. Truth be told; I thoroughly enjoyed the environment, the music and the whole experience. Not that the girls weren’t cute, in fact there were more beautiful women than I’d ever seen in one place. After a while I could recognize the ones who had the “Isaan facial features” versus the ones who didn’t, the ones who dyed their hair different colors for the Asian men, etc. Even soo, for the most part, the women were stunners, easily 9’s and 10’s and most would have “no ploblum” getting guys to slit each other’s throats to buy them drinks in any bar in any town in the US.

After frequenting the same clubs I’d almost become more a “safe haven” to the girls than a target / customer. I noticed if someone came in while they were dancing who they didn’t particularly want to be bar fined by, they’d come offstage at the end of their set ‘n sit with me. Now if anyone of Chinese or Japanese origin came in they’d fall all over themselves to get attention and be bar fined by them. I’d heard several sayings from different farangs that the girls referred to the Asian guys as “2-3-4’s” or 2 inch dick, 3 minutes, 4000 baht customers or was it 3-3-3’s?

One night after work several of the girls who hadn’t been bar fined long time asked, “Laining bad tonite, we stay your loom wit you?” I ended up having a bunch of them come to “my loom”, where they proceeded shower, sit around draped in towels at first in their bras and panties then proceeded to drink up a storm and gamble the remaining night away (I later found out if there had been a problem between them and the police had gotten involved I’d have been responsible for it as the room was registered to me! I stopped the gambling room the very next night!) They ended up all sleeping in the bed, with me choosing discretion as the better part of valor sleeping on towels on the floor beside the bed. In the morning as I got up for breakfast at 6AM, they looked like a “litter of kittens” with heads, long curvy legs / arms scattered thru out the pile of beautiful waif-like brown bodies framed with flowing black hair. Having nothing they could steal of value in the room, I had didn’t worry tooo much in leaving them there by themselves while I went downstairs to eat, drink coffee and hear about the latest ‘conquests’ from the Nana patrons. I still wonder to myself who was the conqueror and who was the conquered?

Over the next several days as I got to know the girlz and they took me around the city, showed me where to eat, where to shop for better deals, where Bumrungrad was when I was sick, with a terrible cough, what meds to get at what pharmacy, how to get to / use the water taxi & the city busses. Although come to think of it; I never saw any of them ever use a bus. They also confided in me about their income, their farang and Thai boyfriends, their family / children up country, and a good portion of their ‘real lives’ outside the NEP. I don’t know how much was true or if they confide in all the sexpats at the Nana in these matters. I’d imagine other than the “I no like Thai man” line, not all that many farangs are interested in delving that deep into the girlz. I even helped a few write emails at the internet café I used so they could ask their out of country boyfriends for more money. You know the “sick water buffalo, lost cell phone, motor bike need new tires, baby sick, mother need surgery or the father die kinda stuff. <Very questionable…it might be you one dayStick>

During my time at the Nana Hotel, I had the chance to meet and get some ‘schooling’ by an old time ex-pat who’d been in S / E Asia long time. He regaled me and others with story after story of the bar-girls, endless tales of woe to all too gullible farangs, how much they really earned, how they went thru money like water spending, gambling, supporting their Thai boyfriends (I mean their “brodder or cousin”), and also told about how soo few actually are able to get out of the business with any real money saved. I was surprised to hear that especially as these girls were pulling down some serious cash (relative to working Thais). I surprised once I saw their bar paychecks at how little they actually made from the bar. That’s when I mentioned I’d seen several of them go with customers once maybe twice a night short time nearly every single night I was there. When I asked where that money had gone all I got was the “friend borrow, I have bills, rent due, phone card, motor bike need tires”, etc stories. Now by my estimates several of these girls had to make over 20-30 thousand baht just in the time I’d watched them in the clubs, but none had managed to save much of anything. There was one dancer I came to know well who was quite the saver and a spend thrift as well. She didn’t seem to loan out money quite as readily, but alas, that is another story in and of itself. I’ll leave it with I went along with her when she picked up the keys to her “new loom”, went to Big C while she shopped & furnished it with things SHE bought and paid for. I even went over to NEP to pick up the new bedding delivered to her & carried it over to my ‘loom’ until she could come get it later.

Okay, Okay, I admit, I DID buy a new fridge for her. . . I know, I know, stupid sucker farang spending over 5000 baht. On the plus side it was a really nice Hitachi fridge, lol. I made sure I was conveniently at her ‘loom’ when they delivered it. So at least she didn’t cancel the order for the refund and as far as I know she hasn’t sold it either. . . . . . . . .yet…

SOOOO, sitting here at home in the US, feeling drained from the near 22 hours of flying, layovers and crippled from having to sit soo long, I decided to pen off my first submission to Stickman’s site. Right now I’m part way thru the process of making lists of what to pack up, what to put into storage, and plan on moving back to Bangkok by the end of next month at the latest. The way I figure it; my disability checks are barely enough to make ends meet every month here in the US, but that same amount in Bangkok affords me a great condo, excellent dining / food, and ummm to say the least, interesting friends & conversation both with the girls in NEP and the sex-pats at the Nana & other Hotels nearby. I can try a year or three as I was able to keep quite busy doin’ nothing my entire trip. Also while the “fridge girl” isn’t the reason I’m off to Bangkok, she’s become a good friend, even goin’ so far as to only short time the last 10 days I was there so she could come, “Sleep your loom with you at night”. She didn’t understand me not wanting sex, but she took it in stride. Aside from the “I hate you.” tantrums; where she’d roll over in the covers, playing hurt and pouting for a few minutes shrugging off my hands as I tried to console her. Okay I admit I finally did have sex with her after a solid week of platonic “sreeping” with her beautiful naked body beside me every night, but even a mere mortal man like myself has limits to something offered to him every night, lol. . . We got along great, went all over Bangkok, and had a good time every single day. Who knows; I might even develop a “thing for Asian women” yet.

In checking out I did happen to hear I get a bronze plaque behind the front desk at the Nana for the longest farang to have stayed with out having “ladee to loom” for sex. I don’t know if I want my name engraved on it for everyone to see, but then again; like Gene Simmons of the rock group KISS always says; “Any publicity is good publicity.” So if you happen to check into the Nana Hotel ‘n see a big bronze plaque behind the counter, don’t bother to read the fine print, as I said I buckled the last three days there with out them knowing. As my ‘fridge friend’ never dressed like a bar-girl / dancer with me they never took her ID even when she’d come up to my room. Now that was either because they knew her or… One morning / afternoon as we left, we stopped and she picked her ID up from security as she’d short timed a guy who was staying in another room. I don’t really know why they never took it from her when she came to see me..

Are the horror stories on this and other sites of bar-girls true? Wellllll, yes they can come true all too easily. IMHO though, I think all too many times the guys seem to buy into the whole “super farang to the rescue of a bar-girl” way tooo easily and way too quickly in the process losing their money and their hearts as well. They do provide a good read for readers on this site though. Now maybe it’s the cheap-cheap Singha, Chiang, or Sam Song Rum. Or it could be they’re all nice guys and the sun really does shine out of their assholes, I dunno. Another aside; for the most part, I found the girls I became friends with to be open, and fairly honest in our conversations. Even when I brought a fluent Thai speaking farang with me who afterwards told me what they said as the girls prattled on around us. Of course he told them he only spoke / understood a little Thai or I'da bet they'da clammed right up. While perhaps not completely sincere to their “customers”, they certainly have the ‘act’ down pat and seem to put their backs (and other anatomical attributes) into earning a living. I will say the one’s I was around didn’t seem sooo jaded by their jobs to have hardened them anywhere near like the working girls in the US.

One last thing, I was walking with my ‘fridge friend’ one of my last days in Bangkok, when we saw an older but still attractive freelancer from the Nana use an ATM. She purposely dropped the transaction slip, after she’d withdrawn money. We picked it up, looked at it. and she had over 135,000 baht in the bank! Hmmm guess some do manage to save. . . or she has someone writing better emails for her than I can write…

While I choose to remain anonymous on this post, (note the absence of girlz or bar names, lol); I do welcome any positive comments (however few they may be), scornful / hateful / derogatory responses, and of course feedback from Stick without whose site I would have never had to courage to venture into the seedy, steamy, always interesting NEP life.

That’s it boyz ‘n girlz. . . As they say in Thailand. “It lain a-rot today, I no feer goot, go my loom, wry down, sreep”.

Stickman's thoughts:

20 days celibate at the Nana must be a first.