Readers' Submissions

Was Just The First Night

  • Written by Anonymous
  • July 22nd, 2005
  • 9 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

By Beanflicker


Hello one and all, just like to say what a cool site this is. This is my first time writing. While I don’t pretend to be the best writer in the world I would like to put in my penny's worth and tell you about my first time which wasn’t too long ago.

04/12/04 but since then and having read most of the stories and been again since then I can understand how some people could get addicted to the land of smiles. Further to this I would like to say that I can understand how many people could get so heavily involved.

Because I nearly did myself and had only been in the country a few hours. This is how it happened to my friend and myself, now I know that when I mention the word NANA everyone out there with the even the smallest amount of know how is going to know why we went to BKK in the first place. Yes for a good time and I'm not going to lie, Thai women in my view are the best looking women on the planet and being in England it isn’t so easy to find Asian girls who will go out with the farang.

We left England with the frosty roads and white fields only to find out that when we go to BKK airport and as many will know when the sliding doors open you get that heat then the smell I thought “oh no what is that smell”. So 21.30 at night we jumped into a cab straight away, the first time it takes a couple of days to get used to the muggy air. Cut to the Arnoma Hotel, Rachadamri Road when we drove into BKK itself, the centre so to speak my first thought “WHAT AN AMAZING COUNTRY”! Busy, dark and confusing because you expect it to be daylight because of the heat. We checked in after the long cab journey, shit / shave / shower and out the door because I think I would have slept for a week otherwise.

We clocked the Chang bar over the bridge, and sat down to be met by our first proper Thai girls. "What you like drink" were the first words I heard and it sent tremors through my spine hearing the words from a real Thai. We ordered 3 litres of beer for about £5, “RESULT!” I thought. These girls wrestled this giant flask of beer to the table and poured it for us, I looked at my friend and said “if we were in UK it would take 20 or so mins to get a beer from some really bored looking waitress with a face that resembled an upturned dog's arse”. Every time we got within an inch of the bottom of the glass they would come running over and pour another one for us with a beautiful smile and that Buddha thing they do when walking away, what a refreshing change to be surrounded by nice people!

My friend's dad lives in Pattaya and previous to departing England had informed us of the NANA PLAZA so we paid the Chang girls and jumped in a tuktuk.

Now I ride a motorcycle in England and am not afraid very easily, but the boys in these three-wheeled death traps sure do know their stuff. We see the NANA hotel, I look at my friend "well that must be the place then". Now since our second time of going we’ve learnt a bit, but not as much as some, but what with STICKMAN and all the followers of this site we've learnt a bit more. It's good to go down Soi 4 but when its your first night in BKK and the tuktuk driver drops you right outside the Morning Night bar you’re gonna have problems. It's like dropping a child in a sweet shop and telling them free sweets.

So we went up the stairs and got ambushed by about 4 of the B/Gs, it was all I could do to contain myself and set about getting a beer. This Thai girl picks herself away from the pool table, turns, looks straight at me and hooked her claws into me without so much as a by your leave’. Nice girl, 28 or 39 when I got hold of the passport a week later. Anyway, she sat me down at a table, put her hand on my knee and said “you want a drink?”. Her English was almost crystal-clear (probably knows Stick). Now you have to remember we have been in the country no more than 3 hours at this point! 00.30ish had another couple of beers and went for food at an outside bar, then she said "where your hotel?" Now at this point I must add that we had only booked a single room because of all the stories we had read that short time rooms and alike would not be a problem, but the girls we had met had not been informed of this. So in the cab back to the hotel, thai1, my girl and thai2 my friend's girl for anonymity, we got to the hotel lobby and were greeted by the night shift security. They pointed to the reception desk, the girl exchanged words and, ID was passed over. Confused at this point is when I remembered one of your readers Stick, of the hotel fine. 2000 baht was passed and up to the ROOM we went, unlocked the door and oh boy you should have seen their faces, PURE HORROR! Thai1 says "you have another room?" nope this is it! They went awfully quiet for a few minutes then started talking in Thai, wondering what was going to happen to them. I said to my friend "we really didn’t think this through, did we?!” Now at this point I would like to point out that I have no problem with seeing the human form, but the last thing I want to see is my friends arse going up and down on a Thai bird. All my illusions would be a disaster forever! We exchanged glances, and laughed "it's all I could do being knackered, half pissed and jetlagged!”

The next thing I know they’re ordering food from the hotel menu but we decided to just go with it, thinking this is the Thai way, so while waiting I decided to take Thai1 into the bathroom and turned on hot water. She let it run until you could get your toe in and then turned the cold water on. This is when I realised that we really were in Thailand and that it was ok to bathe cold, so we got in! She was very slender to look at and had a very sexy body with legs to die for. Later on the next day, my friend was to tell me what happened after the girls left. After we went into the bathroom, he got down to the deed and while the action was taking place, room service knocked on the door and just walked in, he was in doggy style so you can imagine the look on the waiter's face! My friend said he lost all concentration after that and was glad to get in the bathroom where no-one could disturb. So back to the bathroom and what happened there. As we got in the bath she nearly slipped over sending an almighty gush of water over the floor, we settled down to relax after seeing her smile and see the funny side and after me trying not to upset her by laughing out loud.

I won’t go in to detail here (but there was a radio fitted in the wall of the bathroom) she turned it on and it involved Robbie Williams and her using my private parts as a microphone while singing the song “ANGELS”. It did put smile on my face I can tell you! The next thing I know there’s a knock at the door, Thai2 wanted the toilet so we stepped out, got some towels, and went out into the corridor. As I passed her, my friend gives me the ‘what the f—k are we doing’ look and started laughing (you know the old saying old saying) "you had to be there”! They went into the bathroom and I did the deed with Thai1 on the bed. Sometime later I was just dropping off and heard the bathroom door, he’s got a smile on his face, Thai1 is following, Thai2 is asleep. The next thing I know it's morning and I woke up between 8 and 8:30, we all seemed to wake up around the same time. Thai2 rolls over to get out of bed, hits her bottom lip on the corner of the bedside table! “Ouch” I thought, I bet that hurt! You could see the pain in her eyes and she was at breaking point but that woman held it in. We did eventually give her some painkillers so she got up, went over and turned on the TV then went and sat down. The TV had no signal so Thai1 decides to ring room service and a few chosen Thai words were exchanged. She said “they come fix TV, it be ok”.

A few minutes later room service knocked at the door, he only comes bolting through the door! Is it me or are they psychic or something?! God knows what he must of thought! We just looked at each other and laughed our bollocks off. We just couldn’t stop. While they were talking Thai, probably something like “stupid farang, they ain’t got a clue!” They left at about 11ish, we did see them again, ‘why’ I don’t know but they did get us to Ko Samet for less than £40, try getting a deal like that in any high street travel agent in my country for less than as a thousand pounds, would be a miracle. As I have tried to explain to friends at work, maybe I should turn to tourism as a profession.

I think I will leave it there and hope anyone new to the land of smiles, like I still am, and ends up doing what we did, check the place out a little. You will make mistakes no matter how travelled you are because these people should not be taken for granted. They are kind and a very happy race of people who go about their daily lives just chilling, but a phrase we did learn above all else “ITS ALL ABOUT THE BAHT!”. Once again Stickman thank you for an informative website.

Stickman's thoughts:

All of the mistakes you make as a newbie are part of the fun, so long as you do not lose too much money, or your heart.

It must have been hilarious when the waiter entered the room while the action was taking place!