Readers' Submissions

Tokyo Heaven vs. Bangkok Heaven



This is a part of my story of my time in Tokyo, Japan; one of the happiest times of my life. Although, I haven't returned to Japan for 22 years, from what I hear from other farangs, things haven't changed much; except the prices. Since, then, I have been a regular visitor to Thailand.

Firstly, if you want to have fun in Japan, make sure you have a huge bank account or a job in Japan. As long as you get paid in yen, its not that expensive but when you convert dollars to yen; its astronomically expensive. I can honestly say that once you get used to masses of people and a smaller living space, Tokyo is really quite pleasant. I felt that I was living in a super modern, high tech society, but just under the surface was the traditional Japan.

Tokyo is one of those cities which never sleeps; there is always something to do. It's so huge that every weekend you could explore different areas; and it was almost impossible for me to get bored.

Life moved quickly and a farang had much to learn. I had just gotten off the plane from Indonesia; having travelled across that fascinating place by island hopping from what used to be Portuguese Timor. So after landing in Tokyo I was in culture shock for a couple of weeks. Japan was a totally different world from Indonesia; the difference between a highly industrialized first world country and a backward third world agricultural country. I spent the first week wandering around Tokyo totally lost; no contacts/friends, no job, no map, and only a $150 in my pocket. I had heard that you could teach English in Japan so I was hoping to find a job real fast. I must have walked all over Tokyo and also taken the subway everywhere. By the end of the week, I knew my way around this huge metropolis. All of the stations have English names in addition to Japanese, so that helped a lot, plus I found that the ordinary Japanese (especially women) were quite helpful to foreigners. Since I am of Asian ancestry (and could pass for Japanese), they often spoke to me in Japanese and looked puzzled initially, when I spoke in English. However, this was no major problem and was a great way to meet women and even get phone numbers. I must say that Japanese women can be very delightful creatures and they were among the first Oriental women I had the pleasure of knowing. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about Japanese guys who I could never really get fond of, although in all fairness, perhaps the language barrier had something to do with that–however, this didn't seem to hold true with the women. The men were uniformly dull, boring, and totally business minded and devoted to corporate Japan.

However, it was nice to have made some sort of "friends" (usually they just wanted free English conversation form the "gaijin" (farang); because you got introduced (free) to the typical Japanese men's expense account entertainment system. As a gaijin, if you were invited, you never had to pay for anything. However, I figured a couple of hours of free English conversation was a kind of payment, especially as I was burned out from teaching 8 classes a day and just wanted to meet some women–but what the heck, free drinks and food, and getting to meet "hostesses" etc.

Well, forget about that side of Japanese nightlife, going with a hostess or bargirl will set you back a big chunk of your teacher's salary and they don't have the warmth of Thai girls. The Japanese businessmen could probably put the girl's charges on the company expense account, but not us teachers.

Oh yes, I did manage to land a job within my first week in Tokyo at a school in the World Trade Centre at Hammatsu-cho and after buying a new set of duds (have to wear a suit and tie in Japan) I was just about penniless. The farangs were quite a disparate bunch: Americans, Brits, Canucks, old and young. It was one of the larger schools dealing with corporate clients who paid the most and I soon got into the rhythm of things. On my salary, (300,000 yen), I could live a pretty good life, plus I got other part-time work such as proof reading and also private students (the most lucrative). Teachers are held in high regard in Japan, and I certainly enjoyed the respect and attention which you would never get in Farangland. Students were often surprised when I first walked in to introduce myself as they thought; not another Japanese English teacher of which there were many (speaking horrible English in most cases). However, once they realized that this was my native language, everything was fine from then on. Teaching English is probably one of the best ways for a gaijin to meet women in Japan. Most Japanese speak horrible English and that hasn't changed even now in 2005, so it was a lucrative job/business and still can be.

However, I was more concerned about meeting women than becoming a career English teacher. Believe me, after teaching 8 classes a day five days a week, your brain goes numb. Lots of ladies; usually working girls, or bored housewives take private classes.. I loved the small classes, maximum 5 students in a class, as you could get to know them better. Sometimes, we only had one student in a class and that's when things got really interesting. Usually these single students could already speak pretty decent English and just wanted to practice conversation. That's when I just threw the textbook in the corner and we could talk about all kinds of things and make a more personal connection. I've never been asked out so many times by students, both male and female, but mostly female. Usually the guys worked for some corporation so they would ask me out for drinks at their expense account club. This is actually rather boring and I wouldn't recommend accepting too many invitations. You get served by hostesses (glorified bar girls) and make small talk. Very expensive if you had to pay for it. However, often Japanese women would ask me out before I asked them out. Talk about the passive Oriental woman! They would actually take me out to restaurants with their friends and I spent many a pleasant evening with groups of women or sometimes just one woman. Never make a move too quickly, however, patience pays dividends and I found it rather easy to get a lot of these women into bed. I have never had so much free sex in my life as in Tokyo. I always made it clear that I didn't want to get married or have a long term relationship and that we could only be friends. Most didn't seem to mind as I guess they were also playing the field, but every so often you get hooked up to someone who thinks they are in love, just because you had sex with them. That's when you've got to be very careful as Japanese women can take things really hard and even commit suicide; happens all the time. However, breaking up with a Japanese girl never seemed as problematical as Thai women as per submissions on Stick's site.

I found that if you spoke English, many Japanese girls are easy to pick up: anywhere; clubs, bars, stores, students. You can often get them into bed after a couple of dates if they really like you. Japanese women seem to have a thing for farangs, and I usually connected with those who spoke some English or had an interest in learning; and there were many, believe me. All of the teachers had Japanese girlfriends and some eventually married.

Gradually, after a few weeks, I had a feel for the types who would go with a gaijin on a casual basis without getting too emotionally involved.. I had already disappointed one nice girl by not following up after dating her a couple of times and she was a student in one of my classes. She looked really depressed and wouldn't give me eye contact anymore in class. The other students started noticing, or perhaps she had spilled the beans or whatever. She left me a note one day after class saying that she was dropping out and that I was a "bad" guy. That's when I started waking up. Then I was called into the office one day and my boss asked me how things were going. Without directly accusing me of anything, he told me that the school had a strict policy of teachers not dating any of the students. Heck, I was 25 and the students were all over 18 and they were asking me out. Anyways, I was fairly warned and the other teachers told me to be more discreet or pick up dates elsewhere.

Just the same, shortly after this, I met this lovely half Japanese half Chinese girl who spoke really good English and was taking private classes. Immediately, we hit it off and I found it so easy to talk with her and have deep conversations (something I hadn't had for a while). She had just graduated from University, and she could speak three languages. She always wore a short skirt which revealed a set of beautiful legs and had this look in her eyes as if inviting closer inspection. I must admit, I was taken by her, and this was the first time I felt some kind of connection with a woman. Every one of the other teachers looked forward to having her class. Usually, we all took turns teaching a class, so that the class had greater exposure to different teachers and accents. Next thing I knew, I seemed to be having her all of the time (3 times a week) and the other teachers were a bit peeved. I didn't have a clue but I certainly didn't complain. Teaching her wasn't work at all, and sometimes if she had an afternoon class (my boss wasn't around) she would say to me, "let's go out instead of sitting in this classroom". She went out front alone and told the receptionist that she forgot that she had a previous appointment somewhere and had to leave. No problem, it's her money. Then, since I had no class, I told the receptionist that I was going out for coffee. Usually, we just went to a park and got more comfortable with each other. I had only known her for about a month but she obviously enjoyed my company. She told me then that the reason I had all of her classes, was because she had made the request that I be her teacher only.

Now, coming from Canuckland, I'm not used to women treating me like this. I'm no Romeo or Casanova, but I'm not ugly. This was a real confidence builder, since I never had a lot of girlfriends in Canada. In fact I was rather shy and used to being ignored or really having to ask and keep asking (like begging) for dates back home. There was obvious chemistry between us and she let me touch her in places which I won't mention. Talk about hot and horny. She loved kissing and we spent a couple of hours just making out in the park. This park is rather famous in Tokyo as being a place where practically everyone is making out–there were couples everywhere hugging and touching oblivious to their surroundings. I'll refer to her as Miss C. She introduced me to a lot of things in Tokyo. Since, I didn't have any more classes that day, she took me to Shibuya (an area of Tokyo where there are such things as Love coffee shops and Love hotels etc). We were thirsty so she took me to a coffee shop. It wasn't your usual type of coffee shop. It seemed to have cubicles, where people could have privacy. There were only couples in these places. The drinks were unusually expensive but it was then that I realized that you weren't paying for the drinks, it was the space and privacy. You see, space is at a premium in Japan and couples have nowhere to go to make out, unless they have their own apartment. Many of them still lived with their parents until they married and there was no privacy there. Everyone in this coffee shop was doing something besides drinking coffee. Well, my friend and I really got down to it. I was already pretty hot after spending a couple of hours in the park so now I just pulled her panties off and she didn't complain. She was very wet down there and obviously was as aroused as myself. Since we had privacy, I took off her bra and started kissing her all over. How we managed to keep quiet, I don't know. Anyways, I've never had sex in a coffee shop before but it was really intense. I had her sitting on my…, she still had her skirt on and she just made very slow rhythmic movements up and down for about 20 minutes. It had to be slow otherwise I think we would have both screamed our heads off, that would have been embarrassing in this semi-public place. We were both sweating. Well, I didn't have any condoms (no AIDS to worry about back in those days) and I couldn't control myself any longer so I came inside her and we almost fell off the stool but instead fell against the cubicle walls. Nobody came around, thank goodness; as we had already ordered and received our drinks, so they knew what was going on.

On our next few dates, Miss C and I frequented the love hotels. They were more expensive, but a lot more comfortable. You rent a room for two hours. Some of these hotels are really something, with mirrors, nice bathtubs etc. and they weren't really expensive at that time. From my workplace to these hotels was only ten minutes by train or subway and quite often I'd be here in between classes. Miss C actually was more experienced than me. She told me that she had just broken up with her Japanese boyfriend of 5 years. Anyways, she was one of the best lovers I have ever had and I've never experienced anything as good in Thailand. She had some technique of using her tongue in a certain way and I've never experienced this again with another woman. She had the ability to use the tip of her tongue on my back and certain other areas to just completely arouse me. It was very subtle but within a couple of minutes I was ready to explode. Sex with her was absolutely dynamite and she obviously enjoyed our times together. We would often just go to my place on the weekends and stay in bed half the day going at it again and again after I recharged my batteries. Then she would cook for me and do my laundry and give me a good scrub down in the bathtub. I thought that I had died and gone to heaven. Generally speaking though, most "good" Japanese girls tend to be a little too passive in bed. However, they are generally fast learners, so if you have patience, you can get them to do just about anything. I like women to be more pro-active rather than just lying there like a dead fish.

Mrs. D was a married student who was taking private classes. She was 39 yrs old and a stunner. I was surprised at how well kept she was. She had no wrinkles or blemishes of any kind, was slim, and surprisingly had a pair of nice firm tits, despite having two teenage sons. I never thought that I would go for an older woman (I was 25) but she looked better than a lot of younger ones. Beautiful almond eyes and I think that she could have been a model if she were three or four inches taller. She was obviously upper middle class with money, as she owned a restaurant and her husband owned a hotel in Osaka. He was never home and she was lonely. In fact when I first started teaching her, she told me that she had a Japanese boyfriend. Her English was pretty good so soon we were talking about other things. Then one day she told me that her boyfriend was getting married. Hint Hint. I think that I almost fell in love with her but anyways I got the nerve to ask her out and she said yes immediately. I asked her to my apartment on the pretext of giving her some English lessons but by the time we got there, it was quite obvious that she wasn't interested in the lessons. She was quite aggressive and loud and I asked her how long it had been since she had sex and she told me one month. Seems like Japanese married couples didn't do the dirty deed very often or maybe that applies to all married couples after a certain time? For a woman who had two kids, I must say she had the body of a 25 year old, no stretch marks and still pretty tight down there. She actually invited me to come and stay at her house for the night but that freaked me out. What about the husband? "Oh, he only comes home once in a month or two." Sure, it will be my luck that he comes home on the night that I stayed with her. And what about the kids. "Oh, they will be in bed". Gutsy lady, however, I declined so we often went to the love hotels. Now, I had to juggle these two ladies as I was seeing them each as often as possible and they were both students at my school. This lady took me to expensive hotel restaurants for dinners and lavished gifts of food and drink on me. One day she took me to the Onsen (Japanese spa) in the countryside. Just her and I. What about the kids I asked her. Don't worry, they went to Osaka to visit Dad for a few days–Japanese Spring Break. This is a common situation in Tokyo, by the way. Lots of good looking, lonely housewives with nothing to do; totally neglected by their husbands and usually in their thirties. Now, don't look down on these "older" women as in most cases they are far better lovers and more enthusiastic than the average Thai bargirl. And they really like you, otherwise they wouldn't sleep with you. It won't cost you a penny except for small gifts. Let them treat you, since they are loaded and they enjoy doing it. You can meet them in the more expensive places, actually ask your Japanese friends where these ladies hang out, but the best place for me was my school. Basically, my school was the best supplier of interesting dates.

Another great place to meet girls is obviously, a disco. You don't have to dance but just chat them up. Most want to practice their English. Offer to take them to a quieter place, for coffee. Generally speaking, you will have a better than average chance of getting a favourable answer; especially if you are well dressed, clean looking, and especially if you have white skin. Japanese are very polite (even if they have to fake it) and quite often they have a problem saying no. Girls will seldom say no, cause saying no is considered to be rude. Remember that–"Maybe" or "next time" is better than saying No. But you will get subtle clues. Japanese girls are much better educated than their Thai sisters and economically much better off. It's not really necessary for them to go out with some farang who is 20 years older, although it does happen but they prefer men not more than 10 years older than themselves. So my Tokyo days are definitely over since I am middle-aged now. However, for all of you younger guys out there; under 35, you have a good chance to get lots of free sex.. Nobody is going to dupe you like the Thai girls, as generally speaking, Japanese are quite honest. If you marry one, there is no extended family to support or dowry. In fact, the family may help you out since many are better off than us farangs. Generally speaking, Japanese women seem to adapt better in the West than the Thai. They love to work and certainly aren't lazy. They still defer to the men but expect them to run the household. In Japan, many husbands give the pay cheque to the wife, who then hands out pocket money to the husband. I almost married a Japanese girl but unfortunately, my butterfly ways spoiled it for me. She forgave me twice, but then the third time did me in. Still they will probably put up with more than most farang women. If I were a young farang today, I would go to Tokyo and get a job. Since I am over 50, I guess I'll have to head to Thailand.

However, I must warn you that you must be prepared for the odd problem that is bound to arise when dealing with the opposite sex. Don't lead a girl on as some are really looking for love with a farang and if you are playing the field and one of the girls finds out, you might be in for a shock. One of my friends (girl A) was staying with me overnight (I never allowed a girl to move in and always told them, friends only) Anyways, it was a mistake and she had appeared a little too serious (Japanese girls don't reveal their deepest feelings and Face is also Very Important). I had totally misread the situation. She knew that I wasn't working that day but I made up an excuse (had to meet a lady) to leave. However, she didn't seem to believe me but I left anyways. She had to go to University anyways. I met my other lady (girl B) at a mall and we were walking around holding hands (you can do this in Japan but don't be too physical in public) and laughing etc. Suddenly, as we rounded a corner, there was a young lady staring at us–it was (girl A) who had been at my apartment that morning. She was supposed to be at University! I was in shock and didn't know what to say and she had a really angry look on her face. So I broke the tension and introduced both ladies. Girl B was really cool and just amused but friendly. I took them both to a coffee shop but the tension was unbearable. The two ladies spoke to each other in Japanese. Next thing I know, girl A took off this bracelet I had bought her and threw it on the table, got up and left. Girl B, told me that girl A had asked her if we were going to marry and that she had feelings for me, too. Girl B told girl A that we were just friends, but girl A seemed to believe that if you were sleeping together it must be love, I guess she was a more traditional type.

Anyways, the next day I was at work in the early evening at my school. Suddenly, there was a knock on my classroom door. My boss was standing there with a couple of policemen and asked me to come out. The students were staring at me, surprised. Outside was girl A in tears. The police asked if I knew her and I said we were just friends. Apparently, she had been down by the train tracks standing at the edge, just outside my school at the station. People noticed and called the police (this is not exactly a normal method of suicide but it does happen in Japan). So I guess she told them about our relationship etc. and they wanted to talk to me. I was in shock and I got a lecture from the police and my boss about how sensitive some Japanese girls are, especially traditional types and that I should take better care of things. Then they told me to talk to the girl and sort things out. They made her promise that she wouldn't do anything stupid again and then left. My boss talked to the students in my interrupted class and everybody left–I guess he gave them another free class. I thought that I would get fired, but all my boss said to me was be very careful. He told me that sometimes his wife threatens to kill herself, too. Anyhow, girl A had never threatened such a thing before. I took her out for dinner and after a few hours I told her that although I liked her I wasn't prepared for marriage and please, please don't ruin your life over a lowlife gaijin like myself. And I apologized several times. In Japan, an apology often is accepted for all kinds of mistakes and quite often wipes the slate clean but it must be sincere. We kept in touch but I never asked her out again and stopped butterflying for a while. I was in shock for a few days. At the school, I became a bit of a laughing stock (but in a good natured way) and soon many of the students heard what had happened–news travels fast in Japan. Some of them gave me advice which I quietly listened to. The farang women teachers, however, were none too friendly to me; I could feel the chill but that didn't bother me. They weren't getting any dates from Japanese guys or farang guys and were probably really frustrated. Well, I could go on and on but these are the main examples of my time in Tokyo and should give you some insight into the goings on in Japan.

Well, I won't talk much about my Bangkok experiences since they are similar to the submissions on Stick's site. In Thailand, I never stayed long enough to get a Thai girlfriend, so I was a paying farang like most of you. I seldom enjoyed paid sex between total strangers and quite often couldn't even get interested enough to get it up even if surrounded by girls in the bars. I am the sort of guy who really likes to chase after a woman before getting her into bed (I guess a habit I learned in Tokyo). If a woman is too easy and I don't have to work at it, it seems almost boring. Strange! I did have some enjoyable sex at the Thermae Massage Parlour which you all know. There was one tall girl from Chiang Rai who was really above and beyond and managed to get me going. In fact, I liked her so much I moved into her apartment (she invited me) for a week during my short visit. But I paid her rate every day (500 B). This was back in the pre-AIDS days so I never used condoms. Most of the bar girls never gave me sex the way she did.

On another one of my many visits to Thailand, (I spent a lot of time in India and Nepal and always flew out from Bangkok due to the cheap airfares) I was stupid enough to continue unsafe sexual practices (no condoms–a legacy of my time in Tokyo). I picked up a girl at a Thai whorehouse off Sukumvit Road. I spent three days with her. AIDS had just made its first appearance in LOS, but mostly with the gay crowd (late 80s), so I wasn't unduly worried. Anyways, when I got home to Vancouver, after a few days my dick had a burning feeling every time I took a pee. I went to the doctor and he took some tests and asked me what I had been up to. Bangkok, hmmm–well I will also give you an AIDS test but you won't be in the clear for three months–takes that long to incubate. I was diagnosed with Chlamydia and he gave me some pills. Man, was I stressed out. It was bad enough feeling that old dicky was ready to fall off, without thinking that perhaps I'd better make out my will too–and all for a few minutes of not so much fun. Anyhow, he told me not to worry as it was more difficult for a guy to pick up AIDS from a woman but apparently easier vice versa. Well, it was a pretty stressful three months and I felt alarmed every time I so much as got the sniffles (symptoms are often just a cold or flu like symptoms). I realized how stupid I was and that the "good old" days were definitely over. Anyways, I passed the three months mark and everything was fine, I was negative. A couple of years later I married a Vietnamese lady and the marriage lasted ten years. I was about as happy as you could be but it seems most marriages these days last around 10-15 years. I won't elaborate, except to say I never have any regrets but lots of good memories and a beautiful son.

If you can get along in Thailand, then I don't see how you couldn't get along in Japan. It can be just as puzzling and frustrating but for me, the women made it very enjoyable. Besides, Tokyo is cleaner and a lot more efficiently run than Bangkok. Japanese are very honest. The only time I got ripped off was from a fellow gaijin, an American who had been there for decades. He ran some technical college and lots of us gaijin did proof reading for his students. Often, he was late on payments or made excuses about the quality of work. This happened to all of us who were on the payroll, so we figured it couldn't be quality of work, since the Japanese staff had told us that everything was fine. Then one day, he said that he had a business problem (possible) but would pay us two weeks late. After two weeks, we couldn't find him. His school was still there and the staff said that he had gone to Thailand for a holiday for a month. So that's where the money was going. Anyways, months went by trying to locate this guy and his staff were sympathetic to us but said that they didn't control the purse strings. Most of us were leaving Tokyo anyways so I guess we lost about a thousand bucks collectively. Some Japanese complained to me that some gaijin were in the habit of not reciprocating hospitality. Orientals, often (well, at least Japanese and Chinese do) offer to pay the bill. They try to do this every time in many cases, especially the more traditional types. You can accept but make sure you reciprocate when you have a chance or go and buy some small gift (food or liquor) and give it to them next time you visit them. Do not keep on accepting stuff and never reciprocating–you lose Face and rightly so. However, many times women paid for me but I would pay next time or buy some gifts. I didn't want to be a leach. Sometimes farangs feel that if someone offers them something then they don't have to reciprocate, since they never asked for the thing in the first place. Doesn't work that way in Asia. Its all to do with manners and face and social etiquette. Learn these basic principles and you will be respected and welcome just about anywhere in Asia.

Stickman's thoughts:

Interesting report. I wonder if Japan has changed much since you were there?