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How To Get Rid Of A Thai Woman

  • Written by Thai Ties
  • July 28th, 2005
  • 9 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

Sometimes you merely ask them to go. It depends on the relationship level. If on holiday, some cash and, “bye bye" That’s it. No more no less. Bar girls will never tell you that their brother is a ‘poleecman make big probrem for you’, but freelancers will. Ignore it, it’s bullshit – just be polite and quiet. Arguing back achieves a negative effect and puts you down to their level in Thai status. Just be polite, firm, and quiet. They know they are doing a job, and that contract is finished. That’s that.

The amount of guys who I met over the years who came asking for help because their ‘temporary’ friend was going nuts became laughable. In the end I gave up. ‘Sort your own life out mate’.

I knew one guy who was an English instructor – young guy who would regularly appear to visit with claw marks on his face. He maintained that he loved her. I maintained that how exactly was he going to continue instructing English looking like Frankenstein’s son? Eventually he went back to England, she’d got him into a state of utter paranoia, he could not do anything without an inquest and he did believe that her super high army family were going to have him murdered. I mean, really, he met her in a bar in Cowboy.

Australian guy, 25 years old, meets a girl in the Beergarden. Falls in love in 5 minutes. We met over a game of pool in the Woodstock one evening, he was o.k. and intended travelling on after a few weeks. The night before he is due to depart a tuktuk turns up outside the gate in Soi Zero with one of the part time girls from the compound who promptly opened my door, woke me up then asked if I could get up to the Thermae as this guy was having a serious problem with this wench.

Oh well, we went and sure enough this woman had belted him over the head with a beer bottle. Loads of blood with her going crazy. He made the mistake of telling her that he was off to parts unknown and wasn’t coming back, and, no he wasn’t going to give her any money. What he paid for the stitches in Bumrungrad Hospital, an overnight stay for concussion and to redate his plane ticket……well, it would have been better to have shown some loot!

English friend working in Singapore meets a Thai lady in a brothel there. Falls in love. Moves to Thailand to be with her as her Singapore visa is expired. (I am no moralist – but I do feel that a brothel is not the best place to meet a potential wife.) They get married, he finds a job due to the specialist software that he had a patent on. This guy only had to one job about every three months as he could make a considerable amount of money for every contract. (I was a bit jealous to be honest!) And as Thailand was in those days, he was only paid in cash. Well, she had the high earning husband, so she took to the gambling habit which as we know is the bane of Thai femalehood once they get the bug. She robbed him left, right and centre. When he complained, she got violent, then when the money lenders started turning up at his door it all got a bit nastier. She was borrowing from a bunch of Indians up in Soi 13 Sukhumvit against his future earnings to fund the card games. It became boring – everyone told him to get rid of her. The usual excuse, “If I do that then she’ll make a problem for me." Usual answer, “You’ve got a valid work permit, a valid visa and a decent job. What problem? Change your address. Just find another place and check out when she’s away playing cards"

One Sunday afternoon my siesta was interrupted by yelps from this woman in the courtyard – I normally snoozed in the daytime with the door open ; Gosh, what a bloody racket, it sounded like a poodle in a barrel of tom cats. I got to my feet, walked to the doorway and saw a scene that defied belief. Certainly for any Thai guy it would be inconceivable. She had a lump of wood in her hand from which protruded small nails and was whacking the guy with it in front of a bemused audience on the porch. He looked like a bloody pin cushion. And they were married? With a child? Ooerr. Well, I stormed over, (DO NOT EVER INTERRUPT MY LAZY DAY SNOOZE), took the weapon off her and suggested that if she continued in this vein then she would receive similar treatment. She seemed to get the message. Matey went off for a tetanus jab, she went to sulk. After all she’d only stolen 300,000 baht that morning to pay off her gambling bills. Eventually, he obtained a passport for his kid, booked two tickets without telling anyone, not even his company then one evening when she was away doing her thing as always, he simply packed two bags dressed the child and headed for the airport. I would love to have been a fly on the wall when she returned to the room!

It would have been even funnier to see her reaction to the phone call from Farangland which said, “Guess where I am and with our son?" Must have been nuclear melt down that one.

How to leave a Thai lady? This was one of my early experiences: I met a woman at a wedding party one day. We got talking. Her English was better than my, at that time, non existent Thai. She’d been married to a dentist but was divorced and had two kids. Here is the wrong assumption : I assumed that her husband had had a Mia Noi and that was the reason for the divorce. Wrong, wrong, wrong……..ho-hum, we learn!

Initially we got on great – she showed me around, took me to places off the beaten track and most certainly made sure that I never got ripped off. This was one side of her. Then I met her brother. He worked for CSD (plain clothes), and whilst chubby for a Thai, he was / is one hard man. I know, I’ve seen him in action.

Then one evening over dinner with his boss he told me a story ; Why she was divorced. (Remember, this is his younger sister.) She’d been bilking her husband’s practice funds to play cards – she’d got the habit as well.

Well, I got established and began to make some money then the demands started; The usual ones except the sick buffalo as her mother lived in Government housing in Bangkok. I’d come home to find the TV gone, or, the VCD, or my camera equipment. Pawned to raise loot for casino stakes in Soi 2 or Pratunam. Eventually my camera gear went to live in the office. Imagine life without a camera?

I’d get paid and I swear that she could smell the money before I got to the bank. Somehow, she always managed to steal it and then be gone for a day or two. If she did well in a game then she would arrive home with a big cheesy grin wearing lots of gold. More often than not she would arrive home looking unhappy then sleep for a couple of days.

I would make more money then go to the pawn shop with the tickets and retrieve my stuff. Eventually it was suggested to me by my Thai pals that this was getting me nowhere and as business was picking up then perhaps I should have a think about her? Quite. Well, I gave the ultimatum; Once more and you’re out. Period, finito, gone. Gambling is like drug abuse, it is like alcoholism, it is an addiction and the sufferer can only see as far as the next fix. I wasn’t working to pay for that instability.

Sure enough, I came home from work one day – no TV, no VCD, no girlfriend, turned around, went up to Prakanong and bought new door locks. As I had to be up and out early the next morning to Sattahip I figured that she’d get the message so bundled her clothes into a spare suitcase then left them with the maintenance guy, who grinned. He’s seen it all before many times.

Christ on a bike – she went mental ; Stark raving mental. Talk about ‘Loss of Face’. Was she suffering or what? The death threats started to arrive. O.K., fine by me. Then she turned up on a m/cycle one night with a guy and announced loudly to the soi that he was going to shoot me. Yea-Yea. As we were as always ensconced on the porch, Daeng hit the phone to the cops as I ran out and kicked this silly man off his m/cycle before he could do anything, then played football with him for a few minutes. In all credit to Lumphini Police they got there bloody quickly and on searching the guy found a handgun. He got 2 years – she got 6 weeks in the monkey house. Never heard from her again and most importantly, I never felt the need to watch my back.

But, things improve. I met some lovely Thai ladies, really, really nice people with a genuine concern for others. They are lovely people these ladies and must be respected.

How to leave a Thai Lady? Nat got whacked on a motorcycle taxi. Pheung had her business to develop. Noi had to return to Nakhon Sawan to care for her younger sister and brother. Seesuda got a scholarship to study in the U.S. These were all amicable ends with no mention ever in the relationships of money. Life goes on.

The worst one I think was a Canadian guy when I was living up in Ekamai. He would have been about 32 – 33 years old and had fallen badly for some girl from a bar. Gosh, he got it bad. She moved in with him but still insisted on doing her thing in the bar. “It’s only work darleeng."

One day she went on holiday to some island with some tourist she met in the bar – his information on this being provided by a phone call. He was ever so upset so I took him across the main drag for some Mekhong and Sok Lek. Explaining was no option – so just talk, try to divert his thoughts. Two days later, he took the high dive from the eighth floor. Poor guy. How to get rid of a Thai woman……..

Stickman's thoughts:

Yep, they do seem to lose the plot when dumped….but the question still has not been answered….just how do you get rid of one?