Stickman Readers' Submissions July 4th, 2005

Be Careful What You Wish For

They’re all very beautiful and best of all, they’re all available”.

An American friend of mine came out with this remark referring to the girls he had met during a recent stay in Thailand. We were in a bar in Singapore at the time where the girls were also beautiful but not too many were available.

Free Party at Cloud nine

At that time, I had visited Thailand on a few occasions but only for two or three days at a time and always on business. My exposure to Thailand’s nightlife had been limited to the occasional hostess bar. I didn’t know too much
about the bar scene or bar girls back then.

It was only after I came to live in Bangkok that I realised my American friend had been pretty accurate with his summation. For me, life was so much simpler when I did not know this.

As I believe is the case with most Farangs apart from the exceptional few, getting rejected and humiliated by western women is an integral part of life in most of Farangland. Generally the same is true in Singapore.

For instance. “Can I buy you a cup of coffee?” sounds to a western woman something like “How about a threesome with you and your sister?” Where as in Thailand, if you ask a woman “How about a threesome with
you and your sister?” her probable response will be “Sure but can you buy us a cup of coffee first?”

So does this make living in Thailand a paradise for men? I rather think not. You know that expression ‘Be careful what you wish for……’.

Living in a country where an abundance of shaved pussy is not only readily available but regularly offered to you in great steaming platefuls can be very demanding. Especially if like me you are a weak-willed, adulterous old letch with questionable

Go-go dancers and bar girls are obviously the most available girls around. As long as you hold the necessary in folding money, there’s not much left to chance here. These girls will frequently choose you with such guile that they make
you believe that picking them up was all your idea. It’s damned hard to escape their clutches.

Then there are sales promotion girls. These young ladies are to be found in supermarkets, shopping malls, larger restaurants and golf clubs. They’ll be promoting anything from Avon cosmetics to Japanese beer. Sexy little dolls these
are, usually under twenty five years of age and often doing this to pay for their university education. They’ll chat you up a little, you give them your phone number and they WILL call you. These girls employ subtly different tactics but
by and large, they are available too. I put hairdressers and beauticians in the same category.

Office girls are always striking up conversations with me in the lift, at lunch or in the office. At first I thought it was just that they wanted to practice their English and in some cases this is their intention but in many cases they really
are giving me the come-on. There are definitely more available office girls in Thailand than any other country I have worked in.

The bar girls know that what they are offering has a fixed price and no emotional backlash is likely unless you instigate one. Business is business. You pay your money, put your trousers on and go home.

The sales girls are not sure yet which way their lives are heading. Some might believe they have glittering careers in front of them and they will go on to be independent, successful and wealthy. This does not mean they will look a gift horse
in mouth and will happily engage you in some extra curricular activities. Some accept the prospect of being ‘looked after’ by an older farang right now, as a perfectly good option. These girls however can cut up a bit rough further
down the road when the pazzaz starts to go out of the relationship and you start thinking about moving on.

That brings us to the office girls and into very dangerous territory indeed. These girls have chosen to do ‘real’ work for a living. They probably know that better money can be made in the short term down at the ‘Pong’
but these are ‘good’ girls who have not considered that lifestyle. They still know that their sexuality will get them places at work though, especially if they can handle the farang factor. Getting chatted up by the girls in my office
block is a regular occurrence and I try not to say anything that might give off the wrong signal. Usually without success. With these girls, I believe a casual affair has a very good chance of turning into ‘Fatal Attraction’. They
want it all. I try to be extra careful here but I’m hopelessly out gunned.

For a married man, living in Thailand can be a very hard life indeed. Even if you are a single guy, the sheer volume of available nookey can faze even the most dedicated crumpeteer.

In the land of plenty, how do you keep from over indulging? (Rhetorical).

In an effort to cut down on the sexual excesses available in the LOS, I have decided to adopt a policy of ‘look but don’t touch’. I want to be a better man. I want to clean up my act.

This is a kind of penance for me, which I have chosen in preference to wearing a hair shirt but it will no doubt be just as irritating. One of the spin-off benefits should be financial gain. We’ll see about that, but my real aim is
to ease up on the romantic interludes. I’ve had enough. As I believe they do at Alcoholics Anonymous, I intend to take one day at a time and stay away from places where there are pretty girls. Thus keeping temptation out of sight and out
of reach.

I’m also considering a move to Dagenham.

Union Hill

Stickman's thoughts:

So true. So very true.