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One Month Of Debauchery

  • Written by BB
  • June 15th, 2005
  • 73 min read


It is May 10th and I am in Vancouver at the airport, awaiting my flight to Manila. I won’t return to the U.S. until June 10th. I have thirty one days to shape up, get my head together, eat right, concentrate on my children, and of course…get laid. I’m going through an awful divorce and the stress has gotten to me. Time to have fun.

Ohhhh, and even better than getting laid… Get laid without guilt!!! Naw… I didn’t have guilt before. So how do I define the difference? Now I am out to look for my one true love. Let’s see if I can find her.

I’ve organized my assault. I went through plenty of bad web sites until I got to ThaiLoveLinks.com. Cost me all of $24 to participate for a month. Too bad the Philippines doesn’t have something like this. The site gives you a picture, lots of background info on the woman, a description of how she sees herself and a description of what she is after.

A typical site may show that a woman is a 34 year old accountant living in BKK (Bangkok), has a bachelor’s degree, no kids and is widowed. It will say that she likes to go hiking and read books and that she is after a 40 to 60 year old farang (white guy) for marriage.

You can click on something to show your interest in her as she can you. You can also email her at the TLL site. After that, you are on your own. You can trade emails and phone numbers all day long.

So I set my parameters. Age 25 to 35 (NOTHING YOUNGER!!!), Masters degree or at least working on it. A solid job. No kids that live with her. Reasonable English skills. And incredibly hot looking!!!

Ok, that only narrowed it down to 70 or so. Well, I’ve emailed all 70 and corresponded with most. I’ve probably called 10. Some of them three or four times.

I have had to change my ticket twice. From leaving on Saturday, to Thursday and now to Tuesday. I kept adding activities. Here is my lineup for the next two weeks.

Arrive noon on Thursday. I’ll be tired. So I didn’t lead with the best on the first day. I am meeting Ree. I met her at the Novotel disco when I was here last time. She was hitting on me big time. Just talked to her a bit as I listened to the music. She is very good looking and we’ve corresponded with each other since last October. I talked to her earlier today and she was just squealing with delight that she was allowed to pick me up at the airport. Ree is very attractive and speaks excellent English. She will wear me out.

Friday I will head up to Khon Kaen. A hotbed for TLL girls. I just had to add the lovely Nuttaya (Nut) to my itinerary. Indisputably the most beautiful woman in the world. I showed a picture of her to a lesbian manager who works for me and she is begging for details! Nut is working on her masters in Human Resources. She runs the HR Department at a decent sized company. She is 28 and does OK with English. She wants to marry me sight unseen. She helps her mother sell food on the weekends.

Nut is taking the day off to meet me at the airport at noon. Not something I wanted because Pam and Noot are here in Khon Kaen as well. Khon Kaen is Thailand’s forth largest city and it has some decent attractions for me. A good art museum and a great archeological dig. I want to see both. Nut is middle class enough to own a car. Not common for a 28 year old who would more likely own a scooter.

Nut is a good girl. I must meet her in the company of a friend. I must be gentlemanly. But she is begging me to take her to Phuket or BKK the following weekend so she can be a bad girl in the absence of her friend. Everything is about saving face here. I can’t hold her hand, I can’t propose that she come up to my room. And for sure as hell, I can NOT meet any of her family members. That’s ok, Oil is not a good girl and I have her number the second Nut leaves my side. Noot and Pam are other options, but they are both good girls as well.

All these women always use the words “I’ll take good care of you”. It is their mantra. The Thai woman sees her role as making her husband's life nirvana by American standards. She will cook, clean, massage, screw you, and look out for your best interests all the time. They will settle for just a few things. A) don’t be an alcoholic; B) don’t hit them; and C) don’t screw around. That’s about the extent of it. <Actually, they want a lot more than that…few Thai women want to be a slave!Stick> Now when Nut says “She will take good care of me” – she says it in such a way that means that she will engage in wanton sex three seconds after she has left town (so she can save face and keep her good girl image). I’ll consider bringing her to BKK if we develop a nice repore.

Nut has put a ton of effort into courting me. She is going to be interesting. I am seriously being considered for marriage material. Oh hell, a guy like me is catnip to these women. Late forties, great job, good income, decent looking…

So I will try to ditch Nut on Saturday morning and see Noot. She is a school teacher nine km outside of Khon Kaen. She is beautiful by some standards. She loves writing me intimate letters. We hit it off very well on the phone. She helps her mom on the side. She is 33 with a masters degree and cries every night because someone in the world is not well off. She has a great heart.

Back to BKK at noon on Saturday to meet Taew. Taew is absolutely convinced that we are getting married. Maybe this week!!!!! She is from Khon Kaen but is waiting for me in BKK. She thinks I am arriving directly from America. She has a bachelors degree and has worked on a masters but dropped out. She has a great job with the forestry service. She is attractive. Very attractive, but not like Nut, or even Noot.

Taew and I are going to Pattaya. There apparently is a great beach there that she wanted to see. I think she knows that Pattaya is the sex capital of Asia. I didn’t want to go there, but she does. So it is a two hour taxi ride down. Got a nice hotel. Probably won’t leave the hotel. Taew can’t wait to get her hands on me. She took this whole week off and stayed down in BKK just so she could meet me at the airport on time. Her sister lives there.

When Taew says she is going to take good care of me I get a little scared. She is going to be enjoyable. I’ve been on the phone with her many times. She is funny and fun. I am giving her three days of my time. She talks to me of our marriage all the time. Taew is 34. She would be a good wife I am sure, but I am not looking for this right now. I want my true love, not my next wife.

We will return to BKK on Monday and do some sight seeing. If I don’t like her I have 20 women from BKK and their phone numbers on my rolodex.

Tuesday AM I fly up to Chiang Rai. Darin is there. 28 years old and a travel agent. I met her on my last trip. I went out with her and her ex husband – remember – she had to save face and could not go out with me alone. So I am sliding into a hotel off the beaten path of the town where she will join me for four days. Darin is not beautiful, but she is attractive. She comes from a very poor background and put herself through college. She sings professionally at night. She also supports her parents on her meager salary. Darin has a heart of gold and we have been writing to each other for quite awhile.

Darin also professes to want to take good care of me. In this case she means that she will slip into the hotel with me at night as long as no one she knows notices. We are going to take advantage of her profession and go on a trip each day. Day One is off to the Golden Triangle (a surprisingly pleasant place) to see the two opium museums. I’ve seen one, but not the other. Darin is planning her own tour for me one day. She likes to go dancing and will tip a few beers with me. I’ve talked to her on the phone 20 times and we get along well. Darin is taking the whole week off to pick me up at the airport and be with me 24/7. This is typical of Thai’s who are very social. They don’t want to leave you alone even though I and most western men need space. Plus is sucks because Mena is 70 kilometers away and she is NOT a good girl.

Back to BKK on Saturday morning to be picked up at the airport by Mai, who thinks I am just coming in. She is from Rayong, a beach city two hours south of BKK. She is mildly attractive and I am willing to kick her out of the rotation if Nut and I get along well. I also have Vaew begging to come down from Udon Thani to see me that weekend.

But Mai is 32 and very sweet. She was married once and her husband has their only child. She is a scientist and has a masters degree. She has courted me heavily. So I feel somewhat obligated – but not overly so. She begged me to have two days with me instead of the one I was giving her. Oh well. I know we are going to enjoy each other. I’ve managed to meet Kiddy on TLL who is a tour guide. She will take Mai and me to Aythunya – the old Siam capital on that Sunday.

As for Monday, my last day in BKK. It is a national holiday so I can have my pick. I am going to pick Maen. A VERY attractive young woman. Or go back to Ree if she was so damn good that I can’t live without her. I have to pick up a ton of artwork, dinnerware, and maybe the $3000 / 2000 year old wooden Buddha that I fell in love with on the last trip. Hell, my ex wife is paying for half of everything so why not.

I fly to Manila on the 24th where I will be met at the airport by the Virgin Maricel. Now Maricel is incredibly beautiful and even more naïve. She is 26 and should not be the Virgin Maricel long. We’ll go to her town and while she is at work, I will play with the local girls. I know many of them and they know me. One of them is the Virgin Amor. Well she was the Virgin Amor before meeting me. It is hard to describe Amor’s body. She must be all of 4’11”. I can practically circle her waist with my hand. And she has oh my god huge boobs. They are so disproportional to her body that it’s ludicrous. Now Amor was not good in her first experience with me. After all, she didn’t know what to do. She was 18. The second time she showed grit and determination to become much better. So she killed me. Just killed me. So when the Virgin Maricel is at work I will be busy with the X-Virgin Amor.

I am not finding any masters degrees in the Philippines. These women want the hell out of dodge. Today!!! In Thailand the intelligence level of women is so much higher. You can’t trust any Philippina. Cute as they may be. Don’t do something stupid like marry one of them!!!!! I don’t think my true love will come from these islands. Thailand – well maybe.

I might see my sweet, sweet Nelda there if I have time. Nice woman. 27 years old and 4 kids. Body doesn’t show it though. She specializes in some things. But she is pissed from my last visit.

And then there is Lilibeth. She is supported by some Aussie guy. That is fine. She comes over to watch movies with me in my hotel room while I am working. She frigging will walk in and sit in a far away chair and watch the movie while I have all this work spread all over the bed and I punching in numbers. After a while she moves in onto the bed to watch the movie. Then she’ll take her frigging clothes off and watch the movie – hey, I am still working. Then she masturbates until I join her. Subtle…

Will take the easy trip to the Manila airport after a week with the Virgin Maricel and others. Will meet Lyn. Lyn is a nursing student at a local college. She is 22. Sorry, she is young but talented. We will fly down to Boracay for four days. I was there with Julie in November. We loved it. Snorkeling, jet ski’s, parasailing, dancing, blaa, blaa, blaa. It’s the ultimate resort for me. But it will be hot.

My friend Lyn will never let me leave the bedroom though. She never does. Hell, I don’t get to come up for air. I am going to instill some discipline here and demand we go do some things. Lyn likes my money, but she is sweet and beautiful. Four days with her will be fun. She adores me and of course, wants to marry me. And then no one knows that she and Lilibeth are best friends. God, one of them will kill me.

Then I am back to Manila and staying in the Peninsula. The worlds best hotel. I love the place. I am Mr. xxxxx everywhere I go. Hell, I might go into work for part of a day. I will take my pick of evening friends when I get there.

There is the lovely Julie. My GF of eight months who got blown out of the water by my ex wife’s attorney. I’ve been reeling her back in. But she doesn’t trust me all the way yet. After all, I told her my wife was dead!!! Julie and I get along very well. She has a degree in computer science. She is a tad lifeless in bed but compared to my ex, well… she’s damn exciting. She is just very nice and she is 25 years old. I am taking her to Italy some time later this year to go to her sister's wedding. I know her sister and she is just now moving to Italy to be with her BF.

Then there is the Bod – the Lovely Leah. 23 years old and will do anything. She doesn’t interest me enough though more than a day at a time.

There is also elusive Angel. Maybe the most beautiful woman I have seen in the Philippines. But she wants me sometimes and not others. She is a 23 year old college student. Stunning AND talented.

There is a bevy of others that wish for my attention, but I have no interest in them. I think Julie will win out unless one of the Virgin’s wants to come up. I thought I would see if Sally wanted to go out once for old time sakes. She helped me look at condo’s on my last trip. We always enjoy each others company.

So that is going to be my month. Lots of women and a little work. I’ll work on emailing the kids for 40 minutes each day.

I am stuck in economy and am flying to Manila first. I have to drop some stuff off at the office, take a shower and shave. Then buy Lyn and my tickets to Boracay, then back to Phil Air for the flight to BKK. I will be really sick of flying

May 12th

I arrived in Manila at 4AM. Had about as much sleep as I was going to get. Maybe four or five hours with lots of interruptions. I HATE coach. One thing that Philippine Airlines does well is get the bags of their premium passengers out first. So I had no wait. The bank inside is closed. The bank outside is closed. Crap!!! Lucky I have a thousand pesos from last time in my briefcase. Otherwise I would be waiting out the banks. The customs guy stops me. I’m kind of crapping my pants. I have $50,000+ of equipment and stamps in my bags. I didn’t declare. You have to pay a hefty tax on that coming into the country. He asks to open a bag and I ask which one. He points to the one with my clothes. Thank god. He lets me go through after looking inside. The Canadian authorities did a much more thorough job. They went through everything and had detained me for an hour in Vancouver.

Off to the office. The traffic is heavy for 4:30AM but that doesn’t surprise. It’s always heavy here. I pull up as my manager is just stepping out for a smoke. We drag five bags into the building and eventually up to the office. The staff is happy to see me. My manager told them I had been sick and wasn’t there for work. Just a little R&R. Must have told them about the divorce too because a couple of the women are eyeing me differently.

The manager and I go to Starbucks to talk business for 90 minutes. He and I both have some issues to put forth. We go back upstairs. I have to leave some of my toys and gifts with him so I resort my bags. I don’t want to be bringing gobs of chocolate to 100 degree Thailand that is meant for my honeys in Manila. My manager walks over as I am resorting. He’s pulling crap out and laughing. I mean I have everything. Perfume, underwear, candles, chocolate, lotions, and an uncountable number of condoms. I kick him out.

I open my emails and see that Julie has written me for the first time in ages. She can’t get into Canada (she has been working on that for ages) and her sister is stuck in Manila because she can’t get the Italians to take her. She is despondent about her situation in life. This gives me leverage with her. I’ll use it later. Give the office boy $250 to take care of my tickets to Boracay. The airline makes you pay with cash, not credit cards. He also goes down to the street to get me a load for my cell phone. A load is a prepaid card that allows you to use it.

Off to the airport. I’m texting my honeys about as fast as my fingers will allow. See you soon… blaa, blaa, blaa…. They are all texting back wanting to come to the airport to see me. No time though. Even Julie asks if she can come see me. I feel better about her already. This has been a lot of work getting her back and now I am kicking myself for not taking her to Boracay instead of Lyn. We had a great time there in November. She can’t swim but we went jet skiing anyway and we got thrown. I was temporarily knocked out but came to and went over to “save” her. She tried to drown me twice before I grabbed her the right way and towed her back to the jet ski. She was pissed. She wouldn’t let me drive anymore and wanted to go in to the dock. We get to the dock and she tells me to get on the back. Then she takes off driving it like a maniac.

On the plane to BKK now. I am really tired. Don’t know how I will survive the day. Am reading a great book about Bangkok. It is a killer, thriller deal. I read another book just a week ago about Thai/American relations. It was fascinating and gives me a good idea of what to expect. I’m dreaming of Nut, but it’s Ree that I will face at the airport. I’m wondering what I want to do today. I figure I need a haircut, a manicure/pedicure, a 2 hour Thai massage, and an internet café if the hotel room doesn’t have broadband. I need to get some rest because Ree will want to go out dancing tonight till late.

Things to remember about Thai women.
1. Saving face is important.
2. Part of saving face is meeting in groups instead of alone.
3. Family is the most important thing. Even if you are married, you don’t mean dip.
4. She contributes to the family monetarily. If you are serious about her, you will too.
5. Generosity is seen as a really important thing. I will have to kick out payments to the good girls because it shows generosity. So $25 a day plus presents. It isn’t considered buying the woman. It is showing respect to her.
6. Be generous to her friends, pick up the tab.
7. Her role is to take good care of you. Your role is to be a man’s man and bring in the money.
8. She will be buying presents for everyone you know. If I have a friend that says a nice thing about her, like she is beautiful, then she is indebted to my friend. So she must repay that debt. This woman is very poor, but will still go out and purchase a present for my friend.
9. The whole indebtedness thing is important here. Don’t ignore it.
10. Public displays of affection are not condoned. Meaning don’t even walk down the street holding your honeys hand.

The lovely Ree was waiting for me at the BKK airport. Hard to describe how typically Thai and how beautiful she is. Everything about Ree is big. Her cheekbones, her smile, her personality… It was so nice to see her again. I felt comfortable right away with her. She had to stop me a few times at the airport (as we were getting to a hotel) from being too bombastic. She did it with a sense of humor though. So off we go to the DMA Hotel. Coincidently just a few yards from where she works.

I was tired, so she let me nap. We decided that this was grooming day. I needed a haircut. So off we went. Ree pulls me into a place and I wait five minutes before a good looking woman asks me to sit in her chair. She proceeds to give me a VERY short haircut which ages me by ten years. I am panicked. But I am looking in the mirror as Ree reassures me that it looks ok. I love the way she sat there and looked at me the entire time. I don’t know what she was thinking, but it was almost like she was doting on me. I don’t know. She then told the woman to give me a shave as well. Yikes, that hurt. It was a dull straight razor. Never had a shave in a barber shop before, but I am not going back soon. I look weird with this haircut.

Then to get a two hour Thai massage. Both Ree and I were in the same room and got simultaneous massages. Sometimes holding hands and chatting. My massage girl was killing my legs. With all the problems I have been having with them, she didn’t do me any favors. But I didn’t want to say anything. It was the first Thai massage that I have had that wasn’t just wonderful. But it was mostly because my legs hurt. They started to hurt on the flight to Manila. There is no way to predict anything and I wake up each morning with different pain. I love traditional Thai massage, but I may not have another while here.

Then off to a manicure and pedicure. I am thinking that this will be boring for Ree. These things take awhile. Two cute girls start working on me. One on my feet and the other on my hands. So Ree wants to get her hair cut and styled – I think. I’m going to myself that I really like her hair. What is she thinking??? But it was just a wash and blow dry. I think they massaged her scalp as well. She comes out of it looking even better. If that was possible…

Then dinner at some dive which I actually loved. I wanted to take her to the Amari Watergate, but we kind of ran out of time. My mother and I ate at the Amari every night when we were here last year. They have four quality restaurants. This place was a treat though. She had Yam Romit. WOW!!! Very spicy. I had spaghetti with clams. Again a solid choice, but not like Ree’s. Then Ree decides she wants to get fat on my dime… Orders more food. Fried Chicken. YUK!!!!! I can’t even look at it.

Stopped in at Ree’s apartment. It is maybe 12 feet by 9 feet. Three women live in there. It can get mighty hot. They roll mats out at night to sleep on. She said she had a toilet, but I didn’t see one. I am thinking it was the large bowl on the floor. But I didn’t look hard. Maybe she did. The room is just packed. She has a fridge and a TV. $80 per month for this place. I couldn’t take the heat. BKK isn’t as hot as I thought it would be today. It’s actually pretty nice.

Went dancing at the Novotel. They didn’t have a band tonight. Let me describe the scene. There are probably 400 people there. 70 on the dance floor at any one time. 4 to 1 ratio of very hot looking Thai women to white men. There were maybe 15 white women there – every one was ignored all night long. This is where I originally met Ree while listening to a band one night. It is not a cheap place, so you are getting educated and working Thai women aged 25 to 35. They are all trying to capture a boyfriend or husband and they dress to kill. Every one of them is very attractive, some of them unbelievably so.

This is the system. If they like you they will do one of several things. The most common is to bump you hard while walking past you. A sort of hip check. This is no accident. This is their signal that they want to talk to you. Since it’s 4 to 1, they don’t care if you already have a date. Then there is the stare. They will dance real cute like by your table and stare at you. They will also do it on the dance floor. Ree went to the restroom and I got mobbed by several girls. She didn’t want to leave my side after that.

I had three hotties trying to grab my attention through the stare technique. I excused myself to go to the bathroom. The first one sees she has a chance and grabs my hand and pulls me behind a pole so Ree can’t see. She says that she has a car outside and I should go with her now. I think not.

Others slip me their phone numbers during the evening. This is like a fantasyland. I’m enjoying Ree though and she is looking pretty hot, so I ignore them all. As we leave at 2AM I get the stare from a whole line up of women waiting nearer the door. They would love for me to be taking them out of there. But not tonight girls. <Obviously you failed to realise that a number of the women who go there are working…..read PROSTITUTESStick>

I might return here some night alone. This place is way too expensive to accommodate riff raff. So you are going to get a quality woman here. Not for messing around, but just for meeting. I’ll have to think about it. I can flirt with the best, but is this getting me to my goal of meeting a really interesting woman? God you hate to give up on women that look like this. You put the 320 women here up against American models and these women would win every time.

I want to break down the differences between the Philippina and Thai women. Both in general are very attractive. Give the Thai women a big plus because the have some sort of work ethic vs. the generally lazy Philippinas. Thai women are way smarter too. Plus I give them a big bonus culturally because they will center their lives on the man. Their whole goal is to “take care of you”.

The Philippinas generally have more rounded features than the Thais. The Thais have sharper jaw lines and more penetrating eyes. But they also have bigger noses in general. Philippinas have a nice olive brown color. The Thais are all over the place and can be fairly dark. Since the Thai women work, the have more money to keep their looks up and will wear nicer clothes and their hair is usually styled.

Thai women are not shy about going after you. They see a farang and you know you are wanted right away. In the Philippines, you have to do a little more work to catch their eye, although once you know the system then you have no problems. The one big advantage Philippinas have is that they speak English. My humor goes over much better there. The huge advantage for Thai women is that they are willing to open up. You can’t pry personal thoughts out of a Philippina. In three weeks I have gotten the life stories and personal feelings from half a dozen Thai woman over the internet.

It’s a flip of the coin for most guys, but I’ll take the Thai woman. They are much smarter.

May 13th

Ree and I go down to breakfast at the hotel. I have a flight this AM up to Khon Kaen. She is silent. She had taken 15 days off work to be with me and I am not taking her with me. I had no idea that she was doing this, she just assumed that she would travel with me all over Thailand. She is not my answer and she knows it. Although very affectionate and quite beautiful, she and I will never see each other again.

She walks me out to my waiting car and is nearly in tears. Ree is easy for me to be with and maybe on a lark I might call her up someday. But my thoughts are already set on Nut in Khon Kaen. I’m glad to be going alone to see her. There are a few things I want to see in Khon Kaen as well. I’m setting my priorities and need to get them right.

1) Exercise every day.
2) Take time to write the kids.
3) Eat right.
4) Slow down and reduce stress.
5) See the country while I am here.
6) Then, spend some time getting to know a nice woman.
7) Drink lots of beer.

I am just going to have to tell Nut the way it’s going to be. Yea, that will happen…


The next Chapter of my life: Nut

Nut is short for Nuttaya and is pronounced Naught and Naught-Tey-ya respectively. She is easy to pick out of the crowd. Her broad smile is her trademark feature. She has a gift for me upon arrival and we great each other warmly. She isn’t the classic beauty that you see in her pictures. Her skin issues, though minor, don’t show up in the pictures. She is maybe five-nine, slightly taller than me. She has high cheek bones and great lips. Still good enough for me and she still borders on stunning. But this woman won’t age well. She is 28 and already showing signs of this.

We go to the parking lot where her tricked out Toyota pickup is located. This is the first clue of Nut not always being what she claims to be. Remember, above all else, you must save face here. The truth would never get in the way of saving face in Thai culture. And Nut wants to represent herself as a good girl. So on with my story, the truck is a year old.

She had wanted me to stay at the Sofitel and I got an internet rate of $40. It’s a solid choice. Would rather have this than a Hyatt. Nut comes to the room and I give her presents. She seems to like them but is somewhat nervous, after all, I am a farang and there are plenty of stories about farangs that she has heard. Her friends are calling left and right to check up on her and Nut is apparently giving me the OK. Her friend Kate met a farang from New Zealand <smart girlStick> four months ago and is now dating him (err… corresponding over the internet). It is what got Nut onto TLL in the first place. Nut was actually torn between me and another guy who has been sweet talking her. Guess I got here first. She tells me later that nearly every man on the website has been making eyes at her. Apparently the only reason I got a look is that I kept on emailing her at first even when she wasn’t responding.

I want to go to this museum and then to these famous ruins. We hop in her truck and drive out of town. She asks if I am hungry. I say sure. (Ok, I’d asked her 30 minutes before if she wanted lunch). What she wanted is to take me to a specific place for lunch. If she would have said she was hungry 30 minutes ago she would have been duty bound to let me pick the place. We are driving right by her mother's stall at the market and she won’t even point out her mother to me.

So we drive deep into the woods on a rutted dirt road and end up at a camp for elementary school children. Actually a pretty cool place. We sit in a hunting lodge type place. The camp is run by some friends of her mothers. I let Nut order and we talk forever. Her English is passable and a little better. We walk around and look at all the artifacts of the lodge. Lunch is 90 minutes before it arrives. It is also the best Thai food I’ve ever had. Tom Yum soup and fried fish. We again talk forever. I want to go to the ruins but Nut has other plans.

She takes me to a Wat (temple) in the middle of nowhere. We ring gongs and I actually sit down in a private religious service with a monk, Nut and two others. It turns into a re-enactment of a tree flowering which happens to be the purpose of this wat. Long boring story.

I am loving driving through the countryside and seeing the villages and towns. Nut’s driving is a little scary. We go to a dam and then head up 300 steps to a huge Buddha on a mountain top. I am just drenched with sweat while Nut seems not to have sweat glands at all.

We head back to town and get there at 7PM. I am barely making it due to lack of sleep and I still haven’t seen the ruins or the museum. Nut had planned the day and didn’t want me interrupting it with anything I wanted to do. You can’t have confrontation in Thai culture so every time I asked about going to the ruins she just said “soon”. She knew damn well we weren’t going there but had to lie to keep harmony.

I’m thinking I need a nap. Nut is thinking she needs to take good care of me. Crap. I’m a guy so Nut wins. She has all sorts of ideas about what this means. But let’s just say I will never lack for anything again if this woman is in my life. So at 9PM she falls in love with me and devotes the rest of her life to me. I can’t open a bottle of water by myself now. It would insult her. She must do everything for her man. She has cute little ways of doing everything and she anticipates well. Lucky for me she has a degree in physical therapy and is an expert in massage. Good God is she an expert. I am in heaven.

I finally fall asleep between 10 and 11PM. I wake up and I’m hungry and want to go eat. She is concentrating on yet new ways to take good care of me. Again Nut wins. Finally we go eat at midnight downstairs. Some strange Thai dish of fried pork and rice. Not bad. So Nut of course tells me that she doesn’t drink while we on the internet. After all she is a good girl. She’s drinking wine with her meal so I have a beer.

We then go to the disco in the hotel. Live band. Not bad either. She has more wine. She had told me she doesn’t dance. After all she is a good girl. She wants yet more wine and is slithering on the dance floor like a snake. I’m also thinking about that truck. 800,000 baht ($20,000) and her salary is 12,000 baht per month – $300. She also pitches in to help her parents and brother. Things aren’t adding up.

I know what happens is that some of these girls will pick up a little extra cash on the side going out with a farang at a nightclub. That is the system here. You can’t make it on your salary sometimes. That is why those women were at the Novotel back in BKK the other night. This does NOT mess with their good girl images. They don’t dare be seen with one of their friends doing this and they have a system worked out so that doesn’t happen. If it does, it is ignored and forgotten and never ever talked about. These girls don’t view this as anything immoral at all. It is just a farang man being generous with them. After all, they were going to have sex with the guy anyway. This just doesn’t have the implications under Buddhism that it does in the west. There is not guilt associated with it.

I am thinking maybe Nut is taking advantage of this system a bit, but too many things were telling me no. I can’t figure it out.

So we are finally asleep at 2:30 and at 5AM I awaken vaguely aware that she is massaging me. I am getting a full blown Thai massage between 5AM and 6:30 because it is part of her taking good care of me. Finally I escape her clutches by 8:30 and take a shower. She hasn’t mentioned the M word yet (Marriage) but this woman is completely hooked on me and wants to come to BKK with me today. I promise her next week I’ll fly her down. I promise a lot of things.

Now Nut is a real find. Very lovely. Very HOT and wants to take great care of me all the time. She also surprises me on the upside all the time. Certainly she is in the top three percent of all candidates that I will run across. But I am Mr. Catnip. I should be able to land someone in the top one percent.

Saturday, May 14th

Had a very nice morning with Nut. Over breakfast I realized how hard she had to work to speak English. I fly at 12 noon. The airport is maybe 20 minutes away. It’s 10:20AM. I’m packed but Nut wants to leave one final impression on me. She wants to make sure that I understand that no woman is going to outwork her in the sex department. She isn’t going to let me out the door without one more round. It’s 11:15 before we head out the door. I’m thinking there are worse things than to be trapped here another day…

Fly into the domestic terminal at BKK airport. Grab my bags and rush to the International Terminal about a kilo away. Because that is where Taew is thinking I am flying into. I see her and make it seem that I’ve already walked past the exit to the terminal. She buys it.

Now I realize right away that Taew isn’t my kind of girl. Not at all. I have her for three days and she isn’t Nut. She isn’t even a Ree. What to do….

We grab a cab and head to Pattaya. I actually picked a nice hotel off the internet. It’s across the street from a very decent beach with bath water temperatures. I am already struggling with Taew. So I’m thinking about sending her home. But I have to change my impatient ways. I need to do a little growing up. <Too bloody right you doStick> For those that know me in these situations – if I’m not having fun, then nobody is going to have fun. I decide to ride out the first two days and see what I can make of them. But I have so little chemistry with Taew that the only thing we are doing is sleeping in the same room.

The beach is nice. I read books. I get massages, I find some decent food. She wants to go see the famous “walking street” in Pattaya. I am nearly mortified. But we go. Hundreds of beer bars and gogo bars. I drag her into another place where there is a live band. I like it. But the couple in front of us is making out and I can hardly stand it. Eventually we leave and return to the hotel.

Sunday, May 15th

Wake up early and go to an internet café to work. Return at 10AM and go to the beach with Taew. I finish one book and start on another. At noon I ditch her and go work again and then to a beer bar. Met two nice women who are not the bar girls, they are managers there. Talked them up and bought them a drink. Their names are Pit and Pensi. They directed me to a fabulous Thai place for lunch. I work some more and go back to the same beer bar. They tell me where to go for dinner. I buy them another drink. We make plans to go dancing later that night. I made it clear that I was not purchasing their services at any time. Just friends. But oh my god they are HOT!!! Hotter than hot actually. Plus we are all laughing our asses off. I’m having a great time.

I talk to the owner of the beer bar. He’s English. Big soccer game tonight so he and I are going out to watch the Man U game vs. Southampton before I take the two managers out. This guy is huge. Fat would be an understatement, but a fun guy.

Get a massage and charm the massage girl into spending an extra hour on me for free. If you work at it a bit you can charm nearly any Thai or Philippina woman in a mundane job. The massage girl wants me to come back and take her out tonight. She’s cute, but what am I going to do with a massage girl?? Got other things to do.

Finally meet Taew back in the room. She’s miserable. I should have sent her home. I’ll take her to dinner then ditch her again for my nocturnal activities. Can’t bring any honey back to the nest tonight, but it is unlikely that I’ll meat anyone worth it.

Here I am in the sex capital of Asia and I’m not getting any!!! How ironic. <Because your attitude smacks of arrogance. Boy, do I feel sorry for Taew…Stick>

I take Taew to dinner and it is painful. So I leave her to go to bed. I go over to meet up with the English bar owner. We have a jolly time during the game and one of his friends has joined us. After the game I’m over there hitting on Pit and Penci – the two very hot managers that I had met earlier. I’m getting a cold shoulder from Pit. Penci tells me that it’s because Pit is married to the owner- the fat guy that I have been watching the game with. Not only is he fat- he is ugly. And his married to this incredible hottie. Who is funny, fun, and half crazy.

So I immediately go apologize to the owner. I had no idea. Penci is cuddling up in my arms largely because I am buying her drinks. But Pit comes over every so often to try to charm me a bit. She is a tad drunk. I’m in full lust with both Pit and Penci. But I have Taew back at the homestead and am not going back.

The owner leaves and Pit finally comes over. The three of us have a blast, all half drunk and again are laughing our asses off. The bar closes. We don’t give an F… We have the keys. So we stay a couple of extra hours. Some strays walk in and Pit runs them off. She kept two of her girls around to handle a couple of holdovers and even they leave. Penci is all over me and Pit is vowing her everlasting love and jumps all over me too. I am in the men’s version of heaven. But I am not taking them anywhere. We have some serious talks, then fun talks and everything is followed by rounds of drinks and lots of kissing and groping. Pit is ready to leave her husband over me. Then she wants to have my baby…. Tonight!

I finally just get their email addresses and say goodbye. It’s been a long night.

One thing that these two lovelies impressed upon me is that everything here is about money. It is with them and it is with all the women here. Even the nice girls. What they liked about me is that I told them straight up that I wasn’t interested in either of them other than to go out dancing. There wouldn’t be any hanky panky. They loved this since all the guys in this place are always about hanky panky. Guess it makes me more desirable. As it that were possible!!! LOL I am Mr. Catnip

I was able to figure out the local taxi system in Pattaya. It’s kind of interesting. You hop on the back of a pickup with seats along the side of the bed. You go x distance and hop off and tip the driver. There is a system of fairly standard tips that the locals know. One thing that Taew was good at was negotiating the tip before a particularly long trip. She was fierce. If you weren’t with a Thai you were going to get screwed.

Monday, May 16th

Taew can’t even look at me anymore. She just wants out of there. I give her some money and am taking her to BKK in the taxi I rented. She is going to take a bus up to Udon Thani tonight. She knows she screwed up but we don’t even talk about anything. <She screwed up? How? What a load of xxxxStick> I am working in the cab.

I went to the internet café this AM and see that I get a note from Jum. I’ve never even talked to Jum. But she is in love. I guess I said I was coming to BKK on the 16th. Which at one time I was. So she has already arrived there from a town about two hours away by bus and is waiting for me. She has no phone. But her brother does. So I write back to meet me at my hotel at 2PM. This is not what I wanted today. I want to go charm some massage girls, do a little work and head over to the Novotel tonight to pick up a hottie.

I look back in my emails and find a few from Jum. She kind of got lost in all the emails I had been getting. She sent me a load of pictures. She looks ok. But she doesn’t have a degree. I don’t think I will like this girl that much. But I am sure that she will be at my hotel when I arrive. I’m tired of being with Taew, so if I don’t like Jum I’ll give her $20 and send her home.

If only I were in this Taxi with Pit and Penci!!!

Also got some nice notes from Nut. I think she feels that I am dumping her. Not at all honey. Got to keep you on a leash until I figure out what I want.

Jum and her bother show up twenty minutes after I arrive at my hotel. Now Jum isn’t bad looking at all. I just have no mental notes on her. This was rather unexpected. I ask her brother if he is sticking around and he says yes. Can’t have loss of face can we Jum! Thank god he sticks around. Jum can’t speak English – or enough of it. We go out to something between lunch and dinner. Actually have a very nice time with them. Before I would have just ditched them, but I am trying to be better in these situations.

Jum apparently is a 35 year mother of a nine year old boy. She sells some food at a local market that she prepares each morning. She has a lively sense of humor. We go shopping afterwards. Jum is studying certain items intently and looks at me on occasion. I finally figure out that I am supposed to show some generosity by purchase something for her. I buy my daughter a cute shirt and get one for her too.

We talk again. Now I am totally going to ditch them. They want another meal. I want out of dodge. Jum wants to come see me alone next weekend. I think NOT!

Head back to the hotel and use the sky train in doing so. I’ll be damned. My hotel is on the same street as Nana Plaza. I have one beer there and head back to hotel. I start calling all the BKK honeys in my book. Noi and Mena are the two that I am really after. Noi answers and we have a great conversation. She sounds like a lot of fun. I call Nut and there is no doubt I belong with this woman. I am now thinking of ditching Mai and Vaew next weekend to spend time with her.

I fell asleep for awhile and Nut wakes me up with a phone call. She has caught me in a lie. I lie my way out of that lie. Got to watch this stuff.

The Auto Show

So I shower and head off to the Novotel Disco. I am a bit early and there is a live band tonight. I set myself down at the perfect table. Right in the middle of everything. The Ferraris start to walk in. They settle all around me. There are a few BMWs here and there, beautiful… but not stunning. The Ferraris are unbelievably hot. I can hardly describe to you how beautiful and perfect these women are. You would never find a collection of beautiful women like this in one place in America. Remember, it’s expensive to get in -$5 so you don’t get the riff raff. All of them are 25-35 year old beauties dressed to kill.

The two Ferraris to the right start dancing with each other. Very sexy. I notice a Ferrari to my left rear who is a real find and two directly to my left. Then one sits down with a BMW in front of me.

The band comes on. I saw them last fall. Only so-so. No one is dancing yet. I am surprised I am getting no bumps and stares yet. I’m losing confidence that I am Mr. Catnip. I am here tonight to snap up a Ferrari. Nothing is going to plan.

Second song – All the Ferraris are shaking there asses in the aisles. The first drink is free with the cover charge. None of them have any intention of buying that second drink. It’s just too damn expensive – again $5. So they are all dancing with each other.

The first set goes by and I am thinking that only the BMW in front of me is giving me the stare. I’m getting a few looks here and there but nothing major. I am losing patience and confidence. I certainly could use a wing man. I keep glancing at the Ferrari to my left rear but she isn’t going to give me the time of day. She is just to fucking hot for an old man like me.

The waitress asks if I could share my table (these are barstools and 2 foot diameter tables. I don’t have a choice. Up walk 4 BMWs and a Ferrari with huge headlights!!! I am annoyed. The Ferrari with big headlights is way out of my league. This is the hottest woman in the place. Unbelievably beautiful and very, very sexy. And she is in this fantastic leather outfit.

The two Ferraris to my right have moved on and the two to my left got snapped up. So I ask my left rear Ferrari to dance. She agrees. Here name is something like Samoi. She’s 25, great smile, and hot as hell. Oh can she dance too. Here I am on one good leg with the fear of the other buckling on me all the time. Makes it kind of inconvenient to dance. And Samoi is out there shimmying all over the place.

We dance for awhile and I go back to finish my beer. Samoi’s smile is something else. I talk to the BMWs around me while the Ferrari with the big headlights will occasionally glance at me. I get bumped a few times and there are a few stares. I take Samoi back on the dance floor. She’s not showing lots of interest in me though. So I walk the room and find a BMW to dance with but Samoi shimmy’s over and the BMW gives way. The BMW had noticed Samoi smiling and staring at me from half way across the dance floor and was totally annoyed with the situation.

I go back to my table and old Headlamps grabs me to dance. I am very pleased. This is still the hottest woman in the club. I buy her a drink. She’s groping and kissing me. I have no complaints. But Samoi who is right behind us is pissed. Samoi grabs me the second Headlamps turns her head and takes me to the dance floor. I tell her to stop ignoring me.

I go talk to another Ferrari and Samoi runs past me six times doing the stare. This Ferrari wants to go NOW! I had bought her a drink and said I would be right back, I just wanted to say goodbye to the guy I came with (no one). I walk over to Samoi and ask her if she wants to go with me. Within two seconds, Headlamps overhears my conversation grabs my arm and walks out the door with me. I am looking back a Samoi saying to her that she didn’t act fast enough. But I am walking out of the bar with the hottest woman there and eighty other men are jealous. I again, am Mr. Catnip!!!

Tuesday, May 17th

Am on the flight to Chiang Rai. A city in Northern Thailand. Headlamps gave me a workout so I’ve had no sleep and Darin will be meeting me at the airport. I met her last fall. We’ve been corresponding since. She unfortunately took the week off this week to spend with me. I wanted to play a bit while she worked. Darin got blown away by the letter from my ex’s attorney. Took some doing to reel her back in. I am sure she is thinking marriage.

I’ve decided to work on bringing Nut and her friend Kase down to BKK for next weekend. It will cost me $200 for flights and an extra hotel room. But I have to firm things up with her. She is a find. And oh hell, my ex-wife is paying for half of everything on this trip. I am going to blow off Vaew and Mai. Too bad… both are sweet women and Vaew looks incredible in her photo’s.

Darin picks me up and settles me into my hotel. Then I get grilled for the next half day. She is pissed about this letter that she got from my ex’s attorney. It is clear that things are not going to work out. I rent a car and we go see the Opium Museum at the Golden Triangle – the intersection of Burma, Laos, and Thailand. I trying to work my charms and Darin isn’t letting me in. I am thinking that I am going to have to ditch this woman. Not putting up with what I went through in Pattaya with Taew.

I am exhausted but Darin wants to go to a movie. We get there – great, they are all Thai language movies. Life really sucks now.

Darin settles in and I nap. She puts her head on my shoulders and starts to cuddle up. I do my thing and it’s all over for her resistance. I am writing this two days later and it’s the first chance that I have had to come up for air.

Darin is poor. She doesn’t compromise on anything so she will always be poor. But she also has a great personality and a great heart. She is so poor that she cuts her own hair and she didn’t do a good job. So on Wednesday I spring for some new clothes for her and take her to the hairdressers. I tell them that I want the works done on this woman. I show up three hours later and there is a new woman in front of me. She has one of those Ferrari haircuts now with highlights and coloring. She’s had her nails done. She looks brilliant.

Darin now can’t show her farang boyfriend off to enough people. They are kind of stunned. She told them I was a creep after getting the attorneys letter. I can’t touch her in public though. We take a couple of friends out dancing last night. Great band. 3,000 people are there and I am the only white guy. One of her friends was a tour guide last year for my mother and I. I didn’t recognize her because she had lost some weight and was now is a very hot outfit. Had a nice time with a all of them. Let me say this though, you can’t find a Ferrari in Chiang Rai. Those women in BKK are so hot that you will never find anything like them anywhere else it seems. The most beautiful woman in Chiang Rai doesn’t belong at the Novotel. She couldn’t compete.

I bought tickets for Nut and her friend to join me in BKK. I am very happy about this. Nut was being awful on emails claiming that I was somewhere fucking other Thai women. Duh!!! I said she was my one and only so we will be making up.

Darin is sweet and loving. She has replaced Arlene in Manila as the best F— ever. Off the charts. She takes good care of me and I never have to do anything domestic. But she is in the minors compared to Nut.

Friday, May 20th

Darin took me to see her parents yesterday. It was both confusing and wonderful. My book said that this is never going to happen. You have to be really serious with a woman before you would take a man to see the folks. But Darin kind of explained this away. We went to the store to pick up some pizza for her mom before heading out. Darin also picked up some other things as well. I’m going, ok, ok, it’s just another ten bucks. I am kidding her about this had better be her birthday present. And her head perks up… “Birthday Present??? – no, I want gold. See over there” and she point to a counter nearby where they are selling gold jewelry. “It’s not much” she says while she is tugging me over in that direction. It’s crappy stuff and I am not interested. I wonder off. But she stays there and eventually I have to go back. She asks which one I want to get her for her birthday.

I should have just dropped her right then and there. I am a STUPID male. The cost is $120 for the one we pick. I tell here I have no money… she looks at me in that way and tells me to use a credit card… ARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!! So I do the stupid thing and buy her the bracelet. STUPID!!! But I am silent afterwards and she knows that she overstepped my boundaries. I don’t even give it to her and now she is worried. We are driving to see her parent’s house an hour away and she is now bringing up other women that I must be screwing in BKK. I really do think of tossing her out of the car – maybe without stopping first. <You tell us you have a good job but and this girl treats you like a king and you can't spend a relatively small amount of money on her…the more I read, the more I feel for these girlsStick>

We arrive at her parent’s house. I know from my book that I am not to go within a meter of her. So we get out, she takes everything out of the car, the pizza, the pillows, the god knows what she bought at the store. I thought most of it was for her, but it was for her mother. She has to apparently show up with something. But she eyes the bracelet case in the back seat and says she wants it. I say fine…

I meet her mother, sister, and niece. Only the sister speaks a little English. Darin gives the gifts to her mother and starts to put herself in the girlfriend position. Touching me, caressing me, and leaning into me in front of her family. Then she whips out the bracelet and makes a big production about how her rich farang boyfriend just purchased it for her. I have to fasten the clasp around her wrist. We stay for awhile and her father shows up. Nice guy. He adores his daughter – you can just tell from the smile on his face. We eventually leave.

We go to a town by a lake. We take a nice romantic walk and pick up some ice cream cones. We go back to the car and she says she has to go back to her parent’s house. I know from reading that there is never a plan for anything in Thai culture. Don’t care about time, or you will be mighty pissed. So I go with the flow. We are now two hours from Chiang Rai and not even a whiff of a plan. So we go back. We get there as mom and pop are eating dinner. We join them. They added vegetables to boiling water. And then threw some fish in. It was great.

Back to town and we go to the Dusit Hotel. The five star joint that my mother and I stayed in on the last trip. I finalize the purchase of $1800 worth of rugs, pillow cases and wall hangings. I stole them from the guy. List was nearly five thousand. I had actually negotiated $1,550 at one time, but when I came to pick up the merchandise he said he couldn’t do it. He was taking a loss. I believe him. One of the rugs I purchased was a silk rug that took someone in Kashmire India a year to make.

I take the two rug guys out for drinks. Nice place called SoHop. Live band. Darin and I were there two nights before. One of them then takes us next door to a hip hop joint. Here are where the Ferraris of Chiang Rai hang out. Not in the same class as BKK, so don’t even think it’s the same. But beautiful women everywhere. No question now that Thai women are way, way hotter than Philippinas. Darin is peeved because I am making eye candy out of some of them and I am getting some decent stares. The Kashmere guy and I are making plans for hitting on a group of four hotties. But Darin yanks me out of there before it all gets started. She wants to make sure I know what her special talents are so I don’t go looking.

I go to the internet café this AM. Had to take my laundry out too. I left Darin alone sleeping in the room. She rifles through my briefcase where there is some fairly incriminating stuff. I have to lie my way out of that one. She seems satisfied that she is the one and only. We don’t get done with formalities until 2PM. She has an endless supply of energy and I don’t know the first thing about purchasing Viagra in this country. Somehow I muddle through.

I take Darin to lunch and as she does at every meal, she orders twice as much food as we can possibly eat. It’s a joke between us now, but it is part of the whole taking care of me thing. She knows I like different things and she wants me to be tasting as many different things as possible before I leave. She is getting a bit tearful about my departure tomorrow. So we go buy her a shorts and top outfit so we can sit by the pool. She looks incredibly hot in them.

All in all I am glad to have come to see Darin. For those in the know, I have about a three second attention span with women. For me to even be with someone two days in a row is a near miracle. I get bored easily. But Darin has some things going for her. She’s pretty intelligent and a decent conversationalist. She looks hot. She has an unending sexual appetite and is ohhhhh so incredible. We mesh well. Emotionally she has made this divorce go easier for me. I would think about coming back again. Darin will never make the grade as a serious candidate for the next Ms. xxxxx because she lacks some sophistication, but as a good friend… well, I like her a lot.

As always, my thoughts turn back to Nut…


Saturday, May 21st

I leave Darin early in the morning to fly back to BKK. She has been way better than my expectations. She takes me to the airport and she is in tears. I promise to meet her in Phuket in August. An empty promise. I give her a thousand baht ($25) for future internet charges. She reluctantly accepts.

I cab over to my hotel, the Bangkok Palace. The hangout for every muslim and Indian in town. I am the only white guy. I get hasseled at the desk. I'd leave, but it has been paid for. Nut and her friend Cas (pronounced Case) are flying down and will arrive at 1:30 or so. Nut is in my thoughts all the time so I'm pretty excited. They arrive and again I get hassled by the front desk. End up paying way too much money. Cas is short and very funny. Her English is not quite as good as Nut's, but passable. Cas is looking for a husband off TLL. She has already met a New Zealander. A Canadian and someone from Australia are coming for visits next week. So now is when I get the lowdown on Nut.

Cas tells me that two men have already been to Khon Kaen before I got there trying to court Nut. A German and an Icelander. She has six more guys lined up in the next 30 days. This is pretty amazing turn around time. Nut has been on TLL since April 23rd. All these guys see her and head straight for Thailand. She gets calls around the clock and has coded them with different sounds in her cell phone. Some she takes, some she does not. There are 50 locals trying to get into her pants as well. Cas tells me that Nut gets about 150 e-mails a day from guys around the world. In short… she is very popular.

Nut's parents will not let her meet these guys at the airport alone. But I find out later why that happened to me. Two months ago Cas's brother, who is a monk, told Nut that she would meet and marry a farang soon. Nut was repulsed by the idea at the time, but this is a monk and Nut is both a good girl and very faithful. So she goes on TLL. She is deluged immediately by several hundred guys. She goes back to the monk and asks for advice. The monk says that Brian is the one. So I am pre-ordained by the monk as her future husband. So her parents allow her to not only meet me alone, but to stay with me in the hotel in Khon Kaen. Good girls just don't do this. Cas has also met these first two guys and practically threw them out the door. She was the one showing up at the airport with Nut.

We go out shopping. Somehow Cas thinks I am buying her something. I do, but I don't like it much. But it turns out to be important to Cas and I need her vote. She is here not only as Nut's friend, but as her parent’s informant. Also in this mix is that her mother had been praying during the week and was told in her prayers that Brian was a good man and that it was Buddha's or God's will that she would be married to Brian soon. Nut has shown up practically expecting a proposal. She is so freaking beautiful that I am just drooling.

We also go to the Star Wars movie. We sit in the VIP theatre which was the best theatre I've ever been in. Six seats to a row. They were so big and comfortable that Nut and I could fit into just one if we wanted. At every meal the two of them always order way too much food just like Darin did. This is for my benefit (because I like paying for it so much!) because they want me to taste everything. Some meals are just amazing. The fish here in Thailand is great and I had the best crab ever last night. Every meal is also an adventure in conversation. I've been working on my humor with Thai women this last week or so. You can't approach it the same way as you do with people who speak English really well. But I get them to laughing during meals and we always have a great time. Cas is very funny and she enjoys me a lot.

We go to the Novotel on Saturday night. The usual cover is $5. It's freaking $40 for the three of us. I eat it. I console myself that my ex is paying for half of everything anyway. Hardly anyone is there and we showed up appropriately late. We get a good table. We dance a little and Nut is a bit stiff. But after a drink she turns into the best and most creative dancer that I have ever been with. She was amazing. And I am drooling… I am thinking that I could be married to this woman easily. But then the Ferraris start to arrive. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my gosh. Never has the Novotel seen women like this before. Never!!!!! Saturday night must be the night when the very best make their way to the Novotel and pay that outrageous entry fee. I am lusting everywhere and I make sure I have sightlines on many of them. I actually take a few walks just to see them. I get lots of smiles and stares. While I am with Nut I am getting bumped regularly. I have lots of interest from Ferraris tonight. One stands right behind my table and does the stare. I turn Nut around so that I am facing the Ferrari and Nut is between us. To my right is the single most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She looks a lot like Ligaya (Joy) for those of you who know who she was. And all night long she is there alone. I could have walked out with her if I had been alone.

So this is what enters my mind. Nut is not a Ferrari. She is an insanely beautiful woman with a few flaws. She has some oversized features that really appeal to me. The Ferraris are perfect and they have the money to keep themselves that way. I am thinking to myself that although Nut is a real find – far better than a BMW. But I deserve a Ferrari. But then Nut is also the best dancer in the place and she "wants to take good care of me". I deliberate back and forth all night between beers and just enjoy the view.

Any woman following Darin is going to be a tad disappointing in bed. Nut has very limited prior experience. She confides that she is very close to being a virgin at the age of 28. So it's not like she is going to be the greatest thing on earth. She makes up for it in effort and gusto. She is doing a lot of things for the first time. What the book had to say about Thai woman and their sexual beliefs is true, but Nut is telling me she wants to be like a western woman. So I am defining what that means for her.

Sunday, May 22

We got to bed at three and sure enough, here comes my 6AM Thai Massage. I don't know whether to be grateful or peeved. I need some sleep. We end up missing the 10AM breakfast cut off so we go get food. This time in a farang restaurant. Nut wants to at least try some of the foods. I have cappuccino. Hell, I only want Thai food! We go shopping for my stuff. The major store that I was going to raid is now closed. So I take Nut shopping at an upscale department store. She had made it clear earlier that she didn't want me to purchase anything for her. It was more important for me to purchase something for her parents. But she sees some things she likes. Her resistance breaks down. We get her some nice things.

The book I read (Thailand Fever – if I haven't mentioned it before) says that you are going to pay for any relationship in Thailand. It is expected. You can go buy sex, but why? The locals can be picked up easily with just a little effort. But you still need to show your generosity. So the price is all the same in the end.

I go sit down because I hate shopping. We are going to meet an hour later. Nut has seen the dilapidated state of my current wallet. So she purchases a new one for me and presents it to me. Now she makes 12,000 baht a month and this is just over 1,000 baht. Thankfully she picked one that I like. I have to accept. We eat and then go to a temple. This is some special temple and both Nut and Cas are thrilled to be there. There are also 100,000 other people at the Temple. I notice Nut is the tallest one there – tallest man or woman. I think she might be 5'10" without heels.

After the temple, talk turns to our pending life together. Nut is convinced that we are getting married. I am realizing that she is quite an incredible young woman. Really easy for me to talk to despite her limited English. She does EVERYTHING for me. She MUST serve my food and put it on my plate. She doesn't like showers and insists that I take a bath because it makes me cleaner. She spends like a half hour making sure I get really clean and I can't even handle the soap. I get a scalp massage in the process. Each morning at 6AM I get an hour and a half Thai massage which she is fully capable of doing well. She has to open my water bottle and even carry it for me when I am not drinking it. It's kind of a surreal world. She believes her place in life is 1st to make her parents happy, but after that, to make her boyfriend / husband happy. She thinks hard about what that might mean.

Talk is getting way off course. She is talking about what we must have in our house (a spa room so that she can give me massages)… all the way to the importance of having a boy first… Yikes, she is way too serious here. What… I have spent three days with her!!! But I am the pre-ordained one she is sure it will all happen. Me – I want to test drive some Ferraris first.


Monday, May 23rd

I get Cas and Nut off, but not before Nut makes sure that she is going to be remembered in a very favorable light. Cas calls Nut's mother and gives me the thumbs up. Nut is in tears as she departs. I promise her Phuket in August…

I go to the internet cafe and see that Ree is back in town after taking care of her sick mother. I had thought about test driving a Ferrari tonight, but Ree is very sweet and what I feel like today. I'll go pick her up in awhile.

I take a nap. I haven’t slept more than a few hours a night since I’ve been here. I pick up Ree and we go shopping. I get all sorts of things for the house and the kids. Then I find the Buddha!!!! It’s wooden. It’s several hundred years old. And it is incredible. I talk them down to $2,200 from $3,100. That’s an ok, but not great price. They box it up for me and we put it carefully into the back seat of a taxi. I don’t want to take this home to the US until after the divorce. My ex doesn’t have to know about it.

Ree and I go get a massage. Again it is painful. Thai massages are one of the true delights in this world and I can’t do them anymore. At least when Nut does the massage I can tell her how to make it less painful and she does a fine job. Guess I won’t go back to a massage place in BKK again.

I then take Ree to a nice dinner at the Amari Watergate. Then she wants to go dancing at Hollywood. I said it was ok to bring a friend. We pull up in a taxi and her whole posse is there. We go inside and get a table. In Thailand, they put a bottle of whiskey on the table and you just pay for the mixers. I always have beer. The mixers can get pricey. I am annoyed with Ree for bringing along a bunch of friends and go walking around the room. I get several proposals from women to come to my hotel. All very attractive. But young, and most don’t speak enough English to interest me. I think about it though. Ree get pissed each time I circle the room. She knows what I’m doing. But she is spending too much of my money so I don’t care. I don’t even like her friends.

We go back to the hotel about three. All is well.


Tuesday, May 24th

Ree takes me to get a big bag for the Buddha. Finally find one. I pack and leave for the airport, almost glad to get rid of Ree.


On to Manila…

I have some thoughts about what I want to do with my life now. It has nothing really to do with this last two weeks. Not that the events haven’t influenced me.

First, it’s just stupid to get remarried right now. Two years from now… maybe. But if anyone sees me heading down this path, then please stop me from that self destruction. Even if I find the perfect woman, there is no reason to rush things.

Second, I like relationships. So I may get into a few. I may live with one or two.

Third, there is no doubt that I can get the best value in a woman in Asia. You can forget about American women as far as I am concerned. You can get one of the very best in any country here by just applying yourself.

So what do I want??? I think that I will stick with much of my original list.
• Smart
• Great sense of humor
• 25 to 35 years old
• No kid issues – meaning I don’t want more and she can’t have any
• Hot as hell
• Great personality
• Someone I find easy to get along with

What is to stop me from finding that? I don’t think anything. I have to apply myself better these next couple of weeks in the Philippines. I want to see what I can dig up. I don’t think there is a one in the currently line up that meets those requirements. Julie lacks a couple of those things and she would come the closest. I am not going to find what I want trolling the malls. Starbucks maybe. I need a source for meeting the right kind of women.

I do have a good screening source in Thailand – TLL. I find the language barrier a bit much sometimes. But you can get great women in Thailand that probably fit my personality better than a Philippine personality does. I’m not so sure that I couldn’t invest some time in Ferrari’s at the Novotel and eventually get a real find. Thailand is harder for me to negotiate, but I figure the screening is so much better here.

Stickman's thoughts:

This was an interesting submission, about that there is no doubt. But you were lucky. Messing with decent Thai women and treating some of them like dirt is a recipe for BIG problems in Thailand…

The recent bunch of submissions which include words to the effect of “I’m a 40-something year old with a great job, high income, lots of money, great looks and the sun shines out of my ass” are becoming nauseating. What is it with these people? You seem to look down on Asia and Asians but then you cannot seem to live without Asian women.