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In The Garden Of Eden (The Eden Club That Is…)

  • Written by Anonymous
  • June 10th, 2005
  • 6 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

By James Bond


My name is Bond, James Bond and although not really connected to Her Majesty’s Secret Service agent I do have at least one thing in common with 007: being Australian I also hold allegiance to the throne. But, sadly, this is where all similarities end.

You see, mates, I ain’t as handsome as the other lad nor am I as successful in beating them mean guys. In fact, I have not been successful in beating one mean person in my life: my ex wife – and this is how this tale begins.

I’m 45 and have been married for three years. One day had to (unexpectedly) return home to pick up a certain document for work and guess who I find with my 36-year-old wife in bed: my boss, no less. I had no idea what had gone on for a year, silly me. But this is the easy part. What followed (in terms of a legal battle) has left me both exhausted and empty (not to mention the state of my bank account).

This is when my friends suggested I take a long trip to forget both my ex and my boss.

Now, where should I go? I began with Brazil in mind, skipped to the USA (since I love gambling I thought Las Vegas would be a hell of an experience) but then settled for Thailand. In this regard, we, Aussies, have a great advantage over our cousins from Britain, Canada or the USA: the Land of Smile is so much nearer and the flight from my home town (Sidney) to Bangkok is not that long drag experienced by all others.

Prior to departure I did some homework, reading Stickman postings and surfing the Internet. Both proved to be very helpful indeed.

So, I land in Bangkok on a lovely January day and head to the Nana hotel (after these divorce lawyers finished with me I could hardly afford anything better).

During the day the place is nothing to write home about. A petrol station, a pharmacy, a parking lot, several bars and many ladies sitting waiting for you to buy them a drink (initially, that is…). But I was not interested. Since it was my first visit to the Land of Smiles I wanted LOS to mean just that rather than turn it into the Land of Sadness.

So, did a bit of shopping, had a haircut and toured the palace, the major shopping malls and the markets. All proved quite dandy and my (subdued) spirit gradually began a facelift. There is something truly enchanting in that simple way of life, not to mention those cheap prices. Paying for a meal two dollars or dishing for my hotel no more than A$40 (US$30) can certainly contribute to any tourist’s well being.

The first hours fly so fast and the evening is already here. Now, folks, this is where I want you to pay special attention as I wish to guide you along a road leading from sadness to joy, from heartbreak to happiness.

You walk out of Nana and a sudden feeling embraces you. What the hell is it, you wonder. The lights of the bars flash at you in inviting glimpses and the smiling faces of the truly lovely ladies ignite in you sparks the existence of which you forgot long ago in dark and dusty court rooms back home. No, forget it, I repeat to myself. Forget the ex, forget the damn lawyers, forget all that crap. You are in Thailand and you begin a process of rebirth.

There are indeed many friendly joints in the vicinity but I head towards a place recommended to me by mates back home: The Eden Club.

The Eden Club is located at Sukhumvit Soi 7/1 – between Soi 7 and Soi 9, near Nana Skytrain Station and thus not requiring any effort to get there in this huge and constantly traffic-jammed city. It’s only a ten-minute walk from Nana and I take my time enjoying the scenery as I walk by. Stores, more store, restaurants and more restaurants, girls and more girls. All lovely, all inviting but I do not let them distract me.

Just walking into the Eden club made me feel so good. The lighting is soft and not overpowering and the girls sit there quietly without enforcing on you anything. This attitude, so I learn quickly, is directly intended by management in order to avert any irritating hassle so common in other joints. Sitting with a drink and watching the girls on both sides of the yellow line can be an enjoyable task by itself (as for that yellow line – later). One word of caution: some lads misinterpret the pleasant and amicable atmosphere to imply an invitation to have drinks but this is not a bar, with the idea simply transmitted as follows: ‘Pal/lad/mate – do have a drink, enjoy your search and, by all means, get into the mood – but we expect you to either order the services offered by this establishment or, if you simply desire to drink – there are numerous places in Bangkok for that purpose’.

As for me – I like honest and direct communication. This way I know at all times where I stand without any misunderstanding or unpleasant exchanges.

So, as promised, back to “that” yellow line (which – I subsequently learned – has already become a Thai landmark).

A yellow line stretches along the bar wall. The girls sitting on the left side of the line will do one service not provided by those on the right. You may well guess what is the nature of this service.

The place employs 40 ladies and they are young, lovely and very willing. All I can tell you, folks, that my head was spinning (to say the least) and not because of the drink (remember? You’re allowed only one before making your choice). The manager, a Frenchman named Marc, is an extremely pleasant and cooperative lad who will do anything to make you happy. He presents you with a menu (yes, just like in a restaurant) outlining the various services rendered by the girls. If you like any particular lady he will flip through his laptop computer and describe her “specialties”. Being so excited I suppose I forgot to mention the unique nature of Eden: you cannot take only one girl upstairs, with the minimum being two. The session lasts 90 minutes and you can try anything. I mean anything you could possibly imagine (some things on the menu indeed surprised even me).

There is no point in getting too graphic about the girls’ performance. Marc is so confident in his product that he even gives you an unprecedented guarantee: if you don’t like the service – you don’t have to pay. Never mind Thailand, even in Australia this would be unthinkable for a nightclub (Stick, how about New Zealand?).

One Eden girl left a special mark on me: Gina. This is one of the loveliest birds I have ever met. She is not a teenager (I guess she’s about 27) yet a sweet and lovely face that truly makes you feel relaxed even before the first touch. Personally, all I can say is that at the time I really needed that warmth – and sure got it. After the recent encounters with my ex it was as if though an angle has landed from heaven.

Gina, why can’t all the girls in the world be like you?

Although several months have gone by since my January visit to Eden I still cannot get this place out of my mind (and, yes, my heart too). But, most importantly, these memories also help me in my daily chores and I’m trying to put the pieces together (quite successfully, I must say).

No wonder, I visited the Garden of Eden.

Thank you, Marc and thank you, Gina.

Stickman's thoughts:

Another one addicted to Eden.