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Just Buy Me A Beer And I’ll Buy You One Back

  • Written by Anonymous
  • May 4th, 2005
  • 17 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

I have a good friend who is fascinated and dedicated to all things related to Third World problems and development issues. At a very early age, he became interested in studying maps and economic data. He soon developed an interest for Global Economics and in Third World development issues. I am talking 14 years of age! He left primary school at an early age, and was 3 years younger than his peers at secondary school. He entered University at the age of seventeen and despite all the objections and bureaucracy, he finally graduated 2 years earlier than anyone else. He went on to do his PhD at a renowned International School, and he now works for the UNDP in New York. Despite the fact that he was born with a rare condition that impeded the growth of muscle tissue in one leg that causes him to sway unsteadily while he walks, he is relentless in his passion. He has travelled all over the world with the UN and is an International Development Consultant who is often interviewed on the BBC or on CNN. He likes to meet like minded people and shares concepts and ideas on development issues. I know him personally and I know he suffers very much from his handicap because people perceive his condition to be a disability. He very much dislikes the word ‘disability’ since it implies a condition in which he is unable to perform a certain task or function. But evidently, it does not hinder him in any way, he can do all the things all the other development professionals do and more, and he really does not have a problem. People only perceive it to be a problem, but as far as he is concerned, the problem doesn’t exist. People laugh at him every day at work, in the street and on the subway because of his awkward wobble while he walks, but deep inside his soul he is a happy man. But he suffers so much from these prejudices. He is addicted to Prozac!

I have a cousin who loves playing the piano. In fact, she loves any keyboard that creates music. This is one of the constant threads that has held her life together through thick and thin. All things related to composing and playing music by the use of a keyboard are of interest to her. She travels the world when she can to participate in concerts for the London Symphonic Orchestra. She plays the piano for her family at get togethers and plays organs at any number of local chapels and churches. When she was a little girl, aged ten, she suffered from polio that caused her an abnormal growth defect in both her hands. This means that she now is a grown woman but has the hands of a fourteen year old girl. Despite this, at the age of forty, she plays the piano or any keyboard as a truly talented artist. She is in demand, all the time, wherever she goes. When going on holidays with her friends or family, it soon becomes apparent that she is very talented and she is asked to perform. She has stacks and stack of music books and she can master all of them. From classical to jazz, from rock to hymn tunes, from pop-songs to classic blues, she has mastered all of them. She has recordings of all different kinds, and of all the musicians she has met over the years and played with. She spends hours on the piano or on the organ practicing her art to perfection every day. She suffers very much from her handicap because people perceive her condition to be a disability. She very much dislikes the word ‘disability’ since it implies a condition in which she is unable to perform a certain task or function. But evidently, it does not hinder her in any way, she can play all the compositions all the other musicians can play, and does it even better, and she really does not have a problem. People only perceive it to be a problem, but as far as she is concerned, the problem doesn’t exist. People laugh at her every day at work, on the bus and especially at restaurants because of her tiny little hands, but deep inside her soul she is a very happy woman. But she suffers so much from these prejudices. She is addicted to sleeping tablets!

I have a very good friend who I can trust with my life’s savings who has always liked the company of beautiful women from all over the World, initially with that of Latin Women, but more recently, with the company of Asian women. He has travelled all over the World, in fact he has been to more than 60 countries and is fluently trilingual. He is willing to travel long distances to spend time with attractive, fun loving, Latin and Asian women. He likes them. He listens to them. When he is in their company his heart rate drops and his blood pressure goes down. When he is in their company, he forgets all of his problems and he is a happy man. He likes everything about them. He corresponds with quite a number of these women on a regular basis. He has made friends with them, and has become their lover. The women he meets love his company as he is a kind, considerate, and generous man. He genuinely likes women and he can sense that they are very happy to be with him. When he was in his teens, he noticed that he was not like the other guys around him and suffered from a rare condition that causes an abnormal growth defect in his genitalia! Ha ha ha! At the swimming pool changing rooms he was always in the corner hiding from the rest of his school mates. This means that as he passed through high school and University while some of his peers would consider him as an abnormal freak and would never laugh with him. They would only laugh at him and make fun of him, but this never put him off. He had a few good friends which overlooked his physical appearance and gave him genuine friendship and for that he was grateful. In his studies, he excelled. He also got his first class honours Degree and finally achieved doctorate status! He likes to meet like minded people who have travelled the World and speak different languages and who enjoy exotic locations, but he finds this extremely difficult due to his physical appearance. He would love to have the company of friends but this is impossible as other guys cannot accept he is just another ordinary guy. He would love to just have a drinking buddy and go out chasing women, but he cannot. But he has some ingenious ways of meeting women, only some of which he is willing to reveal. Guys won’t allow him to be their friend, they only judge him and laugh at him. He suffers very much from his handicap because people perceive his condition to be a disability. He very much dislikes the word ‘disability’ since it implies a condition in which he is unable to perform a certain task or function. But evidently, it does not hinder him in any way, the women he has acquainted love to be with him, by day and by night, and with six inches inside them I know that they have no complaints in bed as I know a couple of them personally, and he really does not have a problem. In fact, he hardly ever has any problems of flaccidity, premature ejaculation or any other issues, and I know from one of his sexy female friends that ejaculating with her more than 3 times in one night is quite normal!

Because of his physical appearance, people are led to believe that he couldn’t possibly be attractive to any woman, as he couldn’t possibly “get it up”, he simply “isn’t big enough”! They immediately deduce that he must have fantasies about small bodied under-aged girls, since, their imagination would run wild with suppositions about his fantasies. And since he never shows any sign of homosexuality, then they concluded that he must be a sex freak, a woman killer, a rapist, or even a paedophile. Anything their wild imaginations could come up with! People laugh at him every day: at work, in the street, on the bus, at the supermarket and especially at the beach because of his curved spine and seemedly undeveloped genitalia, but deep inside his soul, he is a happy man. But he suffers so much from these prejudices. He is an alcoholic!

Sometimes, on his travels, instead of renting a room in a hotel; he will rent a suite or a slightly more expensive upmarket room with a balcony. He will spend days and nights with his beautiful woman just enjoying her company, going on day trips, going out to eat, just travelling around the country, and later at night enjoying pleasures of the flesh. If the women are interested he will compile a VCD of all her favorite photographs and create a slide show with her favorite music in the background that she can take home. It's just for fun! Women love to have their picture taken. They love to display themselves for men. Men, all kinds of men, love to be in the company of attractive women – it is nature. It is normal. And there is a woman out there for every type of man, with a few deserved exceptions for the aggressive or the abusive! Usually, after about 10 days, or a couple of weeks, he returns to his homeland and goes back to work so as to save enough money for the next trip. It is the only way he can continue with his enjoyable activities, going back to the job he excels at so much and save as much as he can for his next trip. Sometimes, he will have a particularly appealing photo enlarged at the local high street photo store and then have the print shipped to his condo in Costa Rica.

The women almost always give their permission. They are flattered. When my friend is not in a faraway place spending time with the women he adores so much; you can sometimes find him on the internet browsing related web sites about his favorite places in Latin America or SE Asia. He sometimes browses dating sites or soft porn sites, but nothing really hard core. He spends hours and hours reading with enthusiasm and interest about different destinations that might be appealing and the women he might be interested in on the next trip. If you ask him at the office what he did on his vacation, he will not tell you too much, since he would deem it to be inappropriate or might consider it to be personal. If he had sexual relations with one or two women he certainly would not mention it. It is all part of his private life which he deems to be nobody else’s business, and as far as he’s concerned, sacred. He has Gigabytes on his hard disk dedicated to photos and sounds of the women he loves and the countries he has been to. Nothing pornographic, just beautiful moments to be remembered. Running slide-shows of his favorite times in Latin America or SE Asia from time to time gives him great pleasure.

So, what is the difference between these three people, these three completely different people with similar handicaps? THERE ISN'T ANY DIFFERENCE. And yet; the handicapped man who is listening to his hormonal and gender programming is branded as a sex freak, a rapist or a paedophile. The other two are simply laughed at in the street or at the restaurant, but this kind hearted, intelligent and talented man is treated as scum, as an animal who ‘deserves’ to be insulted or even beaten up. He is treated as someone who is not worthy of a smile by passers by, he is already guilty in their eyes. He represents that sexual deviant that society scorns, that society is disgusted by, that society thinks should be locked up for good. He is guilty! His balls should be chopped off because there is no possible way he could sustain his principles of citizenry and social upstanding as he travels around the World. In their opinions, there is simply no way he could be declining offers of sex from under-aged girls! He is guilty of not representing an capable man. He is guilty of not being what society deems representative of a respectable well-groomed eligible bachelor!

All the things he thinks or does or feels are suspect. He is guilty until proven innocent. And he will never be proven innocent. Because society's notion is that a single man without the acceptable physical characteristic must be deficient in some way, probably a sexual deviant and even a paedophile or a violent sex criminal. This thinking make men who are not visibly endowed nothing but pawns or tools of society or of testosterone filled young lads looking for a fight. In fact, young men who are blooming in testosterone find immediate justification for abuse, they find immediate satisfaction in scorning the individual by making him an object of ridicule and callous abuse. If they see him with a beautiful woman at a bar, they will interject their conversation and push him aside as if he was nobody. Then, he will have to leave the bar otherwise he might get beaten up just for the way he looks. More than often the girl he is with insults the interjector and will leave with him.

Not only is this unfair, it is also stupid and ignorant. If you pursue the thoughts of this man's critics to it's logical conclusion; someday it will be illegal to have any physically disability and we will be in a World where genetics are decided before birth. There might even be execution squads for those who are deemed ‘high risk’ candidates. Well, I reject this as the future of our race and I reject the conclusions that are drawn by this man's physical appearance. I do not believe he needs insulting or deserves to be beaten up. And I salute him. If I talk to him, I’m sure I will like him. Just buy him a beer, and he’ll buy you one back! If you want to whisper to your friend that the lonely guy you see sitting at the corner bar is a homosexual, is a sexual freak or deviant, simply by looking at him, think again my friend. He might just be the most intelligent, quick witted, well travelled womanizer you have ever met! He might open your eyes to viewpoints and concepts that you never imagined possible! So, Mel from Melbourne, Vincent from Vancouver, Douglas from Dublin or Harry from Honolulu; you make it a point to disrespect him but he is making love to many women that you had only ever dreamt about! You can laugh at him and insult him if you want, you can beat him up if you want, you can kill him if you will, but you will never take away his love for beautiful women, and you will never take away his incredible lifetime experiences, some of which you could only dream about!

There is no bigger fool than the fool who brags about the physique he was born with. Something that was given to him at birth. Conceit is a disease! (B Dylan). Bragging about all our women is like bragging about all our inches. It's childish. It’s pathetic and it’s nonsense! Women give sex to men for money, or when they feel the man deserves it. It has very little to do with how extended you might be, having said that, big fat white elephants might want Dana’s 23 inches. Good luck with all that!. I hope they are both happy. In fact, in Thailand, the size of your extension has little to do with anything in the farang oriented circles! Love it or Hate it, it is the truth, and whatever you might feel on this particular subject, you are a loser if you believe that having a couple of inches longer than your compatriot will give you the nicest pussy for the night! The girls want money, not inches! Any number of inches will do as long as they ‘come’ with money!

As I fly home from BKK, it is not unusual for the gentleman sitting next to me to ask where I am coming from. You see, lonely men are a curious lot, they will take one look at you and immediately judgement is passed. If I answers that he was vacationing in Thailand, it is not unusual for him to say that he was too. It is not unusual for him to ask “You have a girlfriend over there then?” and he will continue rambling on about his house in Isaan and his lovely 23yr old girlfriend. However, having seen me going to the toilet and return down the isle to my seat, it is not unusual for the gentleman to ask “Have you ever been to Cambodia?” and the conversation quickly turns towards paedophilia and his viewpoint on the matter is made clear “Those scumbags need to get their balls chopped off”. I show him that I am in agreement, but I could be lying! Since personally, I doubt his solution would solve the problem. You see if you have a tendency towards paedophilia, then you must have a very deranged psychological problem. It is not a problem of size, its a problem of mind. So when I agree with him by nodding my head, I am also hesitant to disagree in that if you cut off their private parts, those deranged individuals will not stop wanting to abuse children at all. I reckon it’s a problem of domination, the overpowering of innocence more than anything else and the real nasty paedophile could be the most normal looking guy on the planet, and his extension could be as long as Dana’s but his head might also be the most deranged on the planet! So the gentleman has made his point. Now he feels superior and he has a nasty story to tell at the his local bar when he gets home to Stockholm, Tel Aviv or Perth.

Well, he made his opinions on the matter but I didn’t make mine because I felt threatened. I felt he was insinuating some nasty thoughts and I failed to give him my opinion. I froze and felt an awkwardness that was bordering on the hostile. The conversation stopped and I refused to talk to him again. I was quite offended that he should be insinuating such crap right in my face. I wanted to tell him what I really thought. I wanted to tell him how much I disliked sitting next to somebody that has just judged me to be the lowest of the low. But I just shut up. What I wanted to say to him “No, Sir they shouldn’t cut off his balls because it won’t solve a thing. They should be shot in the head by well funded private syndicates” But I didn’t make my point and I regret not doing so. I wanted to insult him so much!

So let me clarify my position one more time! I'm a man. I am a heterosexual man. I am not a homosexual man. I am not a paedophile. I am a man who loves beautiful Latin and SE Asian women.

If you ever see me sitting at a bar in Nana, don’t judge me by my physical appearance, just buy me a beer, and I’ll buy you one back!

Stickman's thoughts:

I'm not quite sure what to make of this, and wasn't sure whether it should go up online, or not… BTW, Dana would be insulted – several girls confirm it is 25, not 23.