I’m Just Lucky
I guess I'll follow the leads of some of the other guys with "good-girl" stories. But first, I'd like to comment on a lot of the negativity that some guys have had toward each other on this site. I perceive this website as a fun-reading, full-of-entertainment, serious discussion, Thai-Farang relations, vacation/holiday story-telling…type of forum. I have never laughed so hard in my life, at some of your stories. I have thoroughly enjoyed this site for over a year now. I don't think a person should take these stories too seriously. It's supposed to be good reading, right?
A little about myself. I am American. I retired from the U.S. Navy in 1995. I have been to all 7 continents, literally sailed the 7 seas and have visited 160 countries. I can honestly say that Thailand is my favorite. I love the United States, but get tired of all us westerners bitching about everything. We are too spoiled! I don't mind legitimate complaints but it never seems to stop. I just like to get away from it all once in a while. It seems to me that the people of Thailand appreciate life for what it is. As some of you have written before, take road rage for example. You sure as hell don't see it in Bangkok, but I see it in the U.S., Europe, the Middle East and even Down Under (Sorry Stick). It just makes me want to find a simpler life. You know what I mean?
To further justify my claims of knowing a little about world affairs, I have lived and worked in Canada, England, Brazil, Afghanistan, Philippines, Japan, Guam, New Zealand and Antarctica (where I work now). And I will pick my retirement home to be Thailand. I know what's out there and I'm very happy with my decision.
I am married to a Thai Lady (a good girl). We'll call her K. She owned a business of selling jewelry at several of the malls in BKK. She didn't want to marry a Thai man because of the usual problems with them (drinking, womanizing, etc.). That's
not my opinion about Thai men, but hers. She had dated an American and an Israeli before me, but apparently they weren't any better in the womanizing department than the Thai men she dislikes so much. So, before I met her, she hadn't
dated for two years. She told me if it would've lasted another two years (being single), she would've given up the chances of getting married, at all. We met each other at a restaurant. She was sitting with several girl friends and my
friend and I were several tables away. My friend hadn't been to LOS before, so he wanted to hit Soi Cowboy, Nana Plaza and the MP's. I had not dated in a while myself and was maybe looking for companionship, who knows. I knew I'd
have a blast just watching my friend freak-out over all the women available. So, I knew the trip would be a fun one.
Anyway, back at the restaurant, I decided to approach K and start a conversation of how-do-you-do's and such. I had noticed her friends always looking over at our table, but she seemed a little more shy than the others (I like that). I don't think we hit it off too well at first. She told me later that she thought I was kinda "stuck-up" or something. Most people do think that of me, before I really get to know them. We agreed to get together the next day.
She met me at the Big C shopping center in downtown BKK, we had some lunch and spent the rest of the day together, walking and eating and shopping. She agreed to come back to my hotel so we could talk more about ourselves and our families. Now I have to stop here and say, that I've been with a lot of women through the years. That is what sailors do, right? We go from port to port. So, I'd like to think I know when someone is BSing me and when they're not. At this point in our short relationship, she really had no reason to lie to me. I don't think we really got along that well, yet. Anyway, I couldn't believe how similar our lives were. First of all, she's not your typical Thai lady that will do and does anything for the family. She is the oldest of four, and her parents left her to stay with her grandmother, when she was one year old. She lived with her until she was 14, then her father decided to come back to tell K to quit school and go to work (for the family). She resents him to this day for doing that. She enjoyed school and wanted to finish, but he wanted her to work. She worked in a jewelry shop for five years and owned her own shop for the next five, before I met her.
I haven't gotten along with my family cause they resented me for being in the military. Go figure that one. The last person that was in the military, in my family, were two third cousins that were in Vietnam. I wanted to serve my country…big deal.
So K and I found out many similarities in our lives, not just the family problems but also the things we want out of life. We didn't have sex the first time I was there. So, I went back to work and we kept in touch by email and phone. After two weeks, we were talking everyday on the phone. I found a cheap international calling card on the internet (if anyone wants it just email me), so it wasn't expensive at all. I came back to see her two and a half months later. We started right where we left off. Talking to her everyday on the phone really helped her get over her shyness. We spent two days in Bangkok, ten days in Pattaya and then went back to her home in Northern Thailand to meet her friends and family. I really had a wonderful time. She's from a nice little town in the North, the people were just wonderful to me. I don't have a bad word to say about any of them. They do seem to gossip a lot, though. I think the people generally liked me. I don't know of anyone that had a problem with K being with a Farang. I went in, thinking there would be a few people who didn't like mixed couples dating. When we walked around the town, people would see us and make us stop at their house and drink rum or beer with them. Now, I love booze, but there's a limit to what I can drink. Needless to say, the walks slowed down a bit.
After ten days in her hometown and another week in BKK, I had to get back to work. When I left she cried, but I knew I'd be back to see her. She wasn't so sure. I again called her everyday and we became closer and closer. When I came back two months later, we spent two and a half months together in her hometown. I wanted to see what she was really like back home for a while. I wanted to see the real deal, cause I know people can appear emotionally stable but, sometimes after a while, the true self cannot help but expose itself. So, I thought this would be a good test. My test failed! She wasn't pretentious at all. What you see is what you get. We had a great time together. The only real problem we encountered was her father's drinking. He would get toasted and start his rambling. He wouldn't stop talking…about anything. He drove us nuts a couple of times. But, I am and always will be a sailor. I understand these things about how alcohol and Asian men really don't mix well together. Of course, that's a generalization. No harm and no foul against any Asian man that can hold his liquor. It's just what I've noticed in my years in Asia.
Now, I am 44 and K is 25. I've had a real hard time dealing with the age difference. I dated a few younger women in Farangland and they never seemed to quite work out. So, of course, I was very worried about being 19 years older than her. She kept saying that I was still young and that I wasn't too old for her, but I still needed more convincing. Well, after I found out that K's father is 56 and his girlfriend is 29, I started to come around. K's parents divorced some years ago. And, K's mother is 46 and her boyfriend is 25. After that, I never worried about our age difference again. It came time to pop the question (marriage). She said I'd have to get her parents' approval. I said ok and she set up the "wedding counsel". It comprised of her father and his siblings. Also, the neighborhood "civic leader" (I don't know what you call him) was there to officially witness this event. I later found out he had to be there, as he represented the town. Anyway, I felt so sorry for K, because this is supposed to be a moment she's been waiting for all her life. But, she had to translate everything for me. I thought at least the civic leader would be able to speak some English. Normally at this meeting, the husband-to-be and the father do all the talking. Negotiating the sin sot and all. But instead, I would ask him for her hand in marriage and the sin sot amount in English…then K would have to tell them in Thai. Let me tell you, she was more embarrassed than I was.
So, I ask the father the $64 question and guess what he says. He doesn't say anything except that he thinks I'm too young. I couldn't believe this! I'm thinking, "you've got to be shittin' me". I haven't been accused of that in 20 years, for anything. But the family and the civic leader talks him in to saying yes. We ask what he wants for a sin sot and you'll never guess what he says. He doesn't want money, he wants me to buy him some sort of corn machine. It's only 10,000B. Everyone starts laughing and I ask what's going on. K tells me and I actually start laughing. Maybe I'm just in shock because I don't have to give him 1,000,000B or something outrageous. K tells me that he doesn't know about these things, he's a simple man. So, he says he doesn't care, he just wants K to be happy. So, that was it. We were finished and K was so happy it was all over. We drank the rest of the night.
So, I leave LOS a few days later and go back to work. K and I stay in touch everyday. She starts getting all the necessary arrangements done for our wedding. By the way, we're only having a simple, non-registered wedding. I want this so I can take her to Farangland on a fiancée visa, if we ever decide to leave LOS. The fiancée visa is a lot easier than marrying her in LOS and trying to get her back. If we do decide to stay in the LOS, then we will have another wedding and register it. I still plan on retiring in LOS.
I'd like to say a couple of things here. I read a lot of stories about how surprised some guys are when they find out about sin sots and the different things they need to pay for in the wedding. K and I talk about everything. We
are good communicators and I find out about everything well in advance, so there are no surprises. Just talk to your girl, I say.
Well, I go to work for four months and come back for our wedding. We have it in her hometown and, of course, the whole neighborhood showed up to see the Farang wedding. Just the right amount of people were there, for a great time. So, everything went off without a hitch. It was exactly as her and I planned. We honeymooned in Pattaya. We couldn't go far cause I had to get back to work. We are planning to go to Hong Kong in September.
We now live in Chiang Mai in a rented house and are planning to build a house in two years. Things have seemed to work out for us ok, so far. I very much think it's possible for a marriage to work between Thai and Farang. Just be honest with each other. As far as staying in her hometown and house, I didn't have any problems with it. I guess my military upbringing has prepared me for anything. K did have a bathroom built for me on the property, though. I had a bed, a fan, mosquito netting, K and Beer Chang. What the hell else is there. HA!
Why is our relationship working….I'm just lucky!
Luck may just be a big part of it.