Readers' Submissions

Choices, Choices, Choices

  • Written by Watdaphac
  • May 31st, 2005
  • 9 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

Good Girl, Bar Girl, Massage girl, oh yeah! Do you really want to know where to find your soul mate in Thailand!

Come one and all as we have all that your hearts desire.

Do you care about cultural differences? Go read a book! You want action? Read on!

Definitions!

A good girl has a career and poses to be a good girl by leading you on and never giving it away as it is for Mr. Special.

Bar Girl Pole Dancer is up front with you and if you do not fuck her, why is she wasting her time with you!

Bar Girl / Massage Girl is 90% single mother and cannot pass as a bar girl due to Stretch marks. (So why do you think they have full dresses on!)

And our sinister Free Lancer: the troublemaker that got kicked out of the bar for fighting with co-workers or contracting a STD. If you are lucky she is a nice girl who just didn’t have the rent money so make your way to Angels disco or Thermae at the end of the month.

So who do you have a relationship with? Check out ExCeo submission of fluent English Speaking Thai Girls. I thought I was dreaming when I experienced the same thing but he just confirmed my suspicions! My advice is stay away from fluent English speaking Thai Girls! You cannot handle her baggage!

You will truly love a good girl who just broke up recently with her Thai boyfriend and swears will never go out with said Thai Men again until you realize she will step all over you as you give in more and more to her wishes. You then realize that you are the rebound boy to be shitted on! And the next guy and the next guy and so on and so forth!

Don’t forget trying out for the overprotected Business lady who happens to have a filthy rich judgmental family who already labeled you unsuitable because you are not Thai! She will act so innocent in stringing you along until the next Thai suitable businessman comes along! Because she is bored and you just happen to be there drooling thinking you hit the jackpot!

Ah the quintessential Pole dancer! Guaranteed to please you for the evening right! And maybe the next night and the next as you were stupid enough to tell her how long you will be in town. You are now handsome and handing over 3,000 baht for the evening's love fest because you do not know any better. Oh and she cannot stay overnight because she lives at home with her mom right! Oops! You realize it is 1,500 ST. Too late now so you better just change dancers and change venues! But somehow you cannot take your mind out of her as she said she is falling in love with you as you are now referred to as “Dahling”. Somehow she has captured that lost sparkle you once had with your ex-wife when you first met her!

We have the bargirl/Massage girl who is fully dressed to conceal the stretch marks. Said single mom will play your heart as you will definitely fall for it as you say to yourself “I want to make her life better” She just forgot to mention that 4-other sponsors who are doing the same!

Freelancer by definition is anyone who is not employed by said establishment and works on her own. This can be anywhere from the disco to the local Starbucks! My experience is they make more money specially the educated and Internet savvy ones than any other type.

Enough already! Ask yourself this, “why am I doing what I am doing?” What are you looking for? I am no doctor but I can show you HOW!

The answer is numbers, numbers, numbers! Even if you can only spare 2 weeks here in the land of smiles do the numbers!

No matter what, do not be shy or embarrassed! Remember that they will not remember you anyway and you will be forgotten as soon as you leave for the airport as another sucker is arriving as you are leaving. Do not take said teerak with you at the airport, as she would expect you to part with your leftover baht to hand over to her. Amazingly, they will remember you as if you were only gone a few hours when and if you decide to return to said same lady when you left.

Learn to speak a littler Thai! It goes a long way to just even know simple words! But if you know too much it is not good either as they will start suspecting that you had a previous Thai liaison and that means that it will be more difficult for them to work their magic in trying to extract money out of you! Even if you have not!

Thai women are generally shy but will open up as soon as you say hello and they realize you are an okay kind of person. Are you? Remember a private English tutor in Bangkok charges upwards from 250 baht an hour! A Thai person that speaks reasonably understandable English usually will command a better income and that is usually the reason they like to at least try to talk to you to improve their English! And remember to speak slowly!

Where do you meet them!

Well that is up to you on what your intentions are. The easiest one’s are of course in the skin trade, Nana Plaza, Soi Cowboy and the like and all you have to do is breath and have a few thousand baht! This is strictly a quick fix scenario and remember to be mindful of that!

If you just went through a bitter divorce in your homeland I would definitely recommend this lifestyle until you get bored with it and then move on!

So now you want to have someone serious but you only have a day before you fly back home! Forget and wait till next time! And when you get home that feeling of longing for Nok, Lek and Tukta starts creeping in. You are hooked and cannot wait to come back!

Now do you want to graduate from the Bar girls? Step two! The working retail girl! Yes she has a job but don’t for one second think she is not working you either! Specially if she is damaged emotionally like just broke up with a Thai boyfriend or worse a Farang boyfriend or is a single mother. Find out right away as you only have 2-3 weeks on this trip! Unless of course you quit your job back home and moved here and got a job making ¼ the amount you made back home! More power to you! Word of advice, do NOT pick just any old beauty. Thai women have lots of friends like other Thai women and if you come across as a gentleman, even when the original lady you met was not compatible with you but likes you, she will go out of her way to introduce you to her friends and that is the best way to get to meet the prettiest ones as then you have been screened and pre-qualified!

Definition of a retail girl!

Same as back home! Department store workers and anyone in the service industry and this includes retail mall Massage parlors and Hair salons! Massage parlors at MBK are not the same as on Sukhumvit. But do not be surprised if you see them at Angels disco over by Nana Hotel at the end of the month, as they do not have rent money! And always remember to speak slowly!

The best ones are in the service industry sector. They have to be able to communicate with you. They are:

Travel Agents, Concierge hotel operators, Tour guides (or posing as tour guides!) High end restaurant hostesses are the prettiest together with Hair Salon workers and cosmetics clerks in Department stores (Start conversing about you looking for something for your mom or it’s your sisters birthday!)

Business people are trickier! You must enjoy and go to cultural events! Classical Music and the like: Be knowledgeable in arts! Meaning going to the Thailand Cultural Center and getting yourself invited to Embassy parties! How do you this! You need to go shop or pretend to shop in high-end galleries and make sure you socialize with the proprietor and not the employee! The proprietor will usually speak better English anyway! Remember! You are networking here! Be patient! You do not care what the Proprietor looks like! Like the title of this article “Choices, choices, choices” is synonymous to numbers, numbers, numbers.

The best thing about this approach is you are in Thailand and you can easily get your skin fix any time you want anyway. SO when you are looking for that significant potential other. It is time to work the numbers and do some work! Don’t just sit in your room or go out drinking in the bars and expect anything like the one you think you want will happen. And if you are so lazy as to just go the Internet route, knock yourself out if that is your cup of tea. But to the Thai, nothing beats face-to-face encounters!

So you are too lazy and don’t want to deal with this scenario! Well there is still the bar girl route and I’ll show you how to find the good one’s but there is going to be another homework on your part.

The most difficult homework you have cut out for you is you have to be reasonably a good Thai speaker! A bargirl that speaks reasonable good bargirl English is a seasoned professional and you have no chance in hell for an honest relationship even if you looked like Brad Pitt as it is all about the greenbacks to her.

This will actually cost you more too as your other homework is to get to know the Mamasan of each bar you frequent meaning buying quite a few drinks for her and sampling her service providers and you getting screened as good jai dee customer! Generally the new shipments of service providers arrive in Early May when their sisters who finally had a 5-day break and went back home loaded with Baht influence them! It takes the new ones a few weeks to get themselves ready after Songkran. The other time is right before high season kicks in which would be the last week of October. You need to be able to speak Thai! I cannot emphasize this enough as these ladies will be downright scared of you if they cannot understand you! And I assume you will be turned off by the mechanical bedroom antics, as you do not know how to direct them on what you want. Grunting is not enough!

So there you go. Choices, choices, choices…..

Stickman's thoughts:

Yep, so many choices.