Stickman Readers' Submissions May 26th, 2005

A Night To Remember

I suppose I had lead something of a sheltered life. I visited Bangkok for many years without giving a second thought to the 'naughty nightlife' (That isn't strictly true, thought about it, but that was as far as it went).

That all changed about 15 years ago. I was in Bangkok on business with a colleague, and the Managing Director. The evenings on the whole were pretty boring, hotel restaurant, hotel bar, early to bed.

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One day a supplier told us about the seafood restaurant (Soi 24), and we decided to pay a visit that night. Very impressed, great food, far too much of it! As the beers flowed, the MD and my senior colleague decided the time was right to
complete my education. I didn't have any say in the matter, but was quietly intrigued.

We alighted from the taxi outside Patpong, strolled along the soi soaking up the atmosphere, checking out the market. Before long I was ushered into a bar where half a dozen beautiful naked girls were gyrating on stage. With eyes on stalks
I took a stool and sat at the bar near my colleague. The MD sat on a bench behind us. Within seconds of course we all had company. My colleague (About whom I was rapidly learning more each minute), told me the drill re lady drinks. Fine, I bought
a girl a drink. Before to long a girl appeared at my other side. She was a vision in fish net stockings! What the hell, she could have a drink too. My colleague warned me to keep an eye on the tabs, but I wasn't too concerned, I new I had
come out with around 6k Baht.

After about an hour the MD left, wished us a pleasant evening and tactfully reminded us of the early start the following morning.

OK now we could let our hair down. The DJ played some great rock tracks, I had two or three (Four?) lovely's hanging on my every slur, and caressing all the bits which like to be caressed.

Probably about 1.00am my colleague asked if I wanted to go back. At this point the DJ was playing AC/DC's 'Ain't no fun waiting round to be a millionaire' with my assistance on vocals, one of my girls naked bodies was
gyrating in front of me, many hands were in my shirt and down my trousers. Of course I told him to F*** off!

So the night wore on. Eventually the house lights came up. The bills were presented. I had managed to rack up around 4,500 baht (With padding?). No problem thought I and dug deep. Yes I know your way ahead of me. Total cash about 3,500 baht.
WTF! Then it dawned with a dreadful realisation. I had paid for the seafood restaurant!

My colleague covered his bill, just. Not enough spare for me. Shit, shit, shit. We explained our plight to the concerned owner. He suggested I return to the hotel and bring back more money, whilst my colleague stayed as security.

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Right, right. Panic mode. Jumped into the first tuktuk and sped off. Picked up more cash, back on the tuktuk in record time. Slow, creeping, dreadful, realisation. What was the f***cking bar called. WHAT WAS THE F***CKING BAR CALLED!!!!

Oh god, please let me recognise it! Of course by the time I returned, I could have been visiting a different planet. Stallholders mostly gone, most of the lights out. I wandered more in hope than expectation. Even recruited a gang of locals
with promises of 100 Baht reward if they found my friend!

Spent what seemed like an age searching but nothing. OK, back to the hotel, see if he's back there. Tried his room, no reply. Back to Patpong, back and forth. With dawn in the sky I walked out from the hotel to another tuktuk, just as
my colleague jumped out of another! Where the f***ck have you been! (He had eventually come back to the hotel escorted, and paid my bill, contacted my room, no reply and headed back and forth to Patpong!)

Had a shower, changed and at 8.00am that morning (Feeling like death), put best foot forward and strolled into breakfast to meet my colleague and the MD.

Good night last night lads?

P.S. It was Thigh bar!

Stickman's thoughts:

Actually, one has to be a bit careful of situations like this as the locals are not always so understanding when farang is unable to cover the bill.

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