Stickman Readers' Submissions April 21st, 2005

Two Sex Tourists Are Born Part 3

Well, you know the score by now – a story with no redeeming morale or literary features, just a wander through the joys of Pattaya with two blokes who aren’t going to fall for a Bar Girl, have a healthy dose of cynicism, but crucially, do
want to have a really great holiday!

Day 6
Yet another day when the rain storms descended on Pattaya, when the rain falls it really comes down, but doesn’t cool the air in the slightest. The heat still hammers you in the head, and if anything the rain seems to make
it even hotter. Another good reason for the close to nocturnal lifestyle we had adopted.

He Clinic Bangkok

So, early evening came and we again ventured out into Pattaya, stopping first at the Pig and Whistle to once again amaze the waitresses with our ability to actually eat Thai food. That place was really well set up, with what looked like really
good quality English food on offer for the tourists and Thai food for any Thai friends they may be spending time with. Observing the waitresses continued to be like watching a basket of kittens – utterly cute. Indeed many of them were not
just ordinary kittens, but particularly fluffy with pink bows! Fascinating to see that one of the bar staff was a katoey (not one of the cuter ones!), and appeared to be entirely integrated into the working group. Nothing wrong with that, just
that reading websites one expects katoeys to be picking pockets or involved in scamming tourists. It was nice to see the other side of the story.

Suitably refreshed we headed up towards Walking St and found a little bar we hadn’t been in before. My friend was doing a sterling job continuing to negotiate the less than pedestrian friendly Pattaya pavements (sidewalks) in spite
of his injured knee. Mind you, he did have a pretty good incentive to get out and about!

We picked up two girls in the bar; mine was Fim, who had distinctly Vietnamese features (and it transpired that her Grandmother was Vietnamese). I was happy enough, always got to keep ringing the changes to keep things interesting, otherwise
you could get fed up with this stuff within, oh, three or four decades!

CBD bangkok

We had a few drinks and then went to watch the Thai boxing at the place at the start of Walking St. Obviously fixed but that doesn’t stop people watching the World Wrestling Federation, and fixed or not I don’t think you’d
want to mess with the participants. Lots of interesting people watching to do in the bar complex, including what appeared to be a young married couple, farangs, at the next bar, with the young lady playing connect four with the bar girls. This
is just an indication that the girls do like people to enjoy themselves, and at least pretend to make tourists welcome whatever the motive. I still wouldn’t try to market Pattaya as a honeymoon destination, mind.

When we got back to the hotel Fim and I were looking out over Pattaya from the balcony (which she seemed to enjoy) and I remarked on the rain. (Well, I am English – we have to talk about the weather at least once a day – it’s
some sort of rule). Without a trace of irony Fim explained that this was because the King had noted the drought conditions and had therefore made it rain. No disrespect from me, just an interesting sociological point about the way some Thais feel
about the Royal family. After a general good time had been had we watched a movie on one of the cable channels – in English with Thai subtitles – Fim said she liked this because it helped her English. If you want cute I can recommend
holding a Thai girl whilst watching a horror movie.
(“Me scared!”)
It is the cutest thing ever!
(For the completists the movie was “Darkness Falls” fairly low budget twisted tooth fairy plot with Emma Caulfield
– “Anya” from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”).

Day 7.
The day dawned bright again and after breakfast we headed back to the hotel to get some sleep. However, for those of you who are now beginning to suspect that we only went to Pattaya for one thing we did manage to get up and around
in the afternoon to play Mini-Golf at the course at the bottom of Soi 7. The course there is nicely set up and well maintained, and whilst my friend would claim to have won the titanic struggle between two mini-golfing masters I would simply suggest
that was down to the technicality of him taking fewer shots.

I watched some of the cable TV – the local English language channels are a real culture shock. Every bit of local news is shown, and I assume that the TV stations have camera crews at the police stations. One guy was brought in accused of selling
drugs – he was shown full face and in glorious detail on the television whilst being interviewed by the arresting officer. In another item a Farang had started cutting himself with a large carving knife after a disagreement with his boyfriend.
I know it was a large carving knife because the camera man and reporter had got there in time to see him doing it, and filmed it for the discerning viewers to watch! Well worth tuning in if you ever forget that you’re not in Kansas anymore!

We walked out that evening up Second Rd where we settled on a bar and I met Lek. Lek was early twenties, chubby face but cute (what else?) with a nice smile and an engaging way with her when playing Connect Four. My friend was also happy
with his companion and towards the end of the evening we bar fined the girls. I guess I should have known something strange was going on with the reaction of the hello girls at the front when Lek left with me. I figured that a round of applause
isn’t entirely the norm.

wonderland clinic

Anyway the Baht Bus took us back to Soi 8 and we went up to the rooms.

I know the towel thing has been mentioned on here before – the girls will insist on coming out of the shower with the towel around them, and when they get up in the morning, more often than not, they will wrap themselves in the towel
to get dressed. This even though sexual congress of the most extreme and immodest kind has taken place in the interim.

Lek, however, was even more obsessive than usual. She made it into the bed whilst managing not to expose an inch of flesh above the knee or below the neck and then said “Time for sleep”

I wasn’t too convinced about the whole time for sleep thing and suggested we got closer.
She then seemed worried and asked if I had a condom. Well, of course, I’m not that stupid or suicidal! Anyway, she clearly wasn’t
keen so I figured the best thing to do was to let her go. I offered her 500B and suggested she should go. She clearly wasn’t happy with that either, so, out comes phrase book and after much linguistic fumbling around it seems her story
is that she hasn’t been with a man before, but still wanted to, but was nervous. That’s the stupidest story ever – right?

Anyway, we took our time, eventually she relaxed and seemed to start to enjoy the activity and the deed was done, but, in the absence of surgical techniques I’ve been hitherto unaware of she was telling the truth. She had never been
with a man, not just Farang, but a man! I was a little freaked out, but I suppose I’d take the view better me than some. (I guess that we’d all say in the same circumstances, probably with as much crossing of fingers and lack of
conviction as me).

Day 8
As you can imagine the story fascinated my friend. His suggestion that her Dad was on the way round with a request for several water buffaloes and a new house didn’t go down well.

The exertions of the previous day had worn us out so we went back to the hotel to catch up on sleep before an early evening meal in the Pig and Whistle. As I said to my friend as I sipped my cold Singha, watching the waitresses perform some
utterly cute activity like wipe down a table – “Do you know what I miss?” The answer – “Nothing!!”

That night I met On. A really attractive girl with Burmese features, although a lesson learned, she was a little distant through the evening, and I guess I should have gone elsewhere, but she was very attractive. However, I would probably
had a better time with a girl who I hit it off with more – even so, your worst night with a Thai girl – still pretty much better than anything else you’re going to experience for a long time! On clearly wasn’t keen
to hang around in the morning and left at about 8.30am. There was still fun had, but not quite as enthusiastically as with the other girls.

What surprised me, a lot, was the number of girls we met who were relatively new to bar work. I know we were going out with a lot of girls but probability alone suggests that we shouldn’t have met as many girls who were fresh to Pattaya
– and yes, I know that they all say that, but the evidence was too good that it was true in some cases. Some girls clearly did say it because they think the customer prefers it, but some were definitely telling the truth.

Sorry for the length again, folks. Even in note form this goes on a bit, but I hope you’re enjoying it. Part 4 to follow!

Stickman's thoughts:

I'm in NZ at the moment, so no silly comments from me on submissions for a week or two…

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