Stickman Readers' Submissions April 2nd, 2005

Two Sex Tourists Are Born Part 2

You may remember the first submission, but just to repeat the health warnings. This has no social or literary redeeming features, unless you want an insight into two guys who went to Pattaya to meet ladies without strings, with no thought of long term
relationships or intention to do anything other than take advantage of the joys offered to the tourist in that city! Bearing that in mind read on…

Day 2.
You’ll recall our previous evening, our first in Pattaya, which left us with no energy for anything other than sleep after breakfast at Gregg’s on Second Rd. After waking up we ventured out into the world again for
something to eat. Across the road from our hotel we found the Pig and Whistle. Depressingly English name for a bar in Pattaya, and a bit “English Pub” in its theme, however, it did provide a welcome respite from the chaos outside
and the hassle from the citizens. (Not that it’s that bad, just that sometimes it’s nice to sit at a table and be served a drink without playing the dice game, or Connect Four, or being offered chewing gum, or a shoe shine, or a
snake, or an elephant!)

He Clinic Bangkok

Also, aren’t Thai girls cute? Maybe not all stunners, but the adjective “cute” definitely applies to almost all of them. Sitting in that bar and observing the waitresses at work was, as my friend said, “like watching
a basket of kittens”! So, after some beers and a red curry (to the consternation of the kittens “You want spicy food?”) we decided what to do that evening. Should we stroll to some cultural event, perhaps do some shopping
and then an early night to prepare us for the trips to the Temples tomorrow, or should we go and find some bar girls?

So we headed up Second Rd in the opposite direction to Walking St (see we had read this site) to see what we could see. In our defence we did walk around the entrance to the Festival Shopping Centre before going across the road to a bar.
Soon enough we were involved in more connect four actions. My friend being joined by an attractive round faced girl, who claimed to be at University doing a degree in chemical engineering. Not impossible, she seemed very bright and great fun to
be with. Her friend, Ba, joined me. Another nice girl, she wasn’t as sparky as some, but pleasant enough to be around. I was getting the hang of connect four by now and was actually winning more games than I lost! Anyway, back to the hotel
for another night with attractive and enthusiastic ladies.

Day 3
Breakfast next morning across the road in the Pig & Whistle. That place was way too convenient! My friend’s physical traumas continued because he’d done something nasty to his knee. Pity the poor Thai girl who
had to put up with him screaming in agony at a crucial moment! Nevertheless he had managed to push himself through the pain barrier, but did look a bit worse for wear.

CBD bangkok

Sadly our appreciation of higher culture in Thailand was not going well because we both went back to the hotel to catch up on sleep again. Be aware that in Pattaya it is not beyond the bounds of possibility that you will become nocturnal.

We met up again at four (I’d been over to the Supermarket to get some plasters for a blister on my foot – those Pattaya sidewalks do you no favours when you’re walking) in the Pig & Whistle. Sadly we were already
becoming regulars, and one of the waitresses (On) talked to us a lot. She said she liked it when I smiled (certainly it was something I was doing a lot!) Again we amazed the kittens by ordering Thai food, and then playfully complaining because
they’d cooked a less spicy Farang version. (We were both used to Indian food so had no problem with proper levels of chili in Thai food).

So – back to the hotel to read and rest up for the culture tomorrow? No.

We had a walk around Beach Rd. After a quick stop in a bar on Beach Rd to watch the football (our local team playing and losing) we talked to some ladies in that bar. Generally I have taken the view that you’re better off to get a
spark of interest from the lady in terms of companions, but I didn’t actually fancy the girl who had latched on to me. I was spoilt already! Anyway, I bought her a drink and moved on. I actually felt a bit bad about it, but I guess you
have to appreciate that you’re in a buyer’s market and as long as you’re polite then it will be expected.

wonderland clinic

My friend needed to make a ‘phone call so we walked up to Second Rd and I was sent to reconnoitre whilst he made his call. A girl across the road was calling me over (must be because I’m such a handsome man) so I went back to
my friend and we went across (taking our lives in our hands, as always, on Second Rd). The traffic lighted intersections in Pattaya have a time countdown to indicate when the lights are going to change. At first sight one thinks this is a good
idea, but then – stop and think. It transforms every traffic light into the start of a major Grand Prix with every wannabe Michael Schumacher in car, bike, Baht Bus or unicycle desperate to get off the mark. Terrifying!

Na had obviously been around the block, but was lovely company. She offered a Thai massage and actually seemed to be able to do it properly, so I had a real value night. In the morning I bid her farewell, but found she’d left her toothbrush
in my bathroom (and later found her mobile ‘phone number on the room telephone pad. I guess I seemed to be a nice generous Farang. (I ran after her and returned the toothbrush. Running in that heat? I really didn’t want her turning
up the next night to collect it!) My friend’s girl was a little quieter but very pleasant, and said she hadn’t been in Pattaya long (I know, standard bar girl story number 2) although given that the next morning she apparently tried
to make the bed and clean up his room we wondered if it were true. Maybe reading Stickman makes you too cynical?

Day 4.
Routine by now, breakfast, philosophical discussions then much needed sleep. My friend’s knee wasn’t improving so over to the Supermarket for a knee support bandage. Then in the evening we walked down to Walking St after
the so called spicy food at the Pig & Whistle. We went in to the FLB bar – an establishment well known to anyone who’s done any internet research on Pattaya. The ex-owner hosts one of the best discussion boards on the place,
so we felt we ought to go in and pay off some of our debt for the invaluable information that had been provided. As always we were soon joined by two lovely girls to play Connect Four and the dice game. Bought some drinks for them and the bar
staff and cashiers. (When I returned home I logged onto the board and found out that one of the cashiers, Om, had been killed in a motorcycle taxi accident just a week later. Very sad.)

After a couple of drinks (it was all very organised, the staff get a chit for every drink they get bought, bar fine they collect, etc) we moved on to the Blues Factory. Raffle night (a ticket free with every drink) and my friend’s
girl won a stuffed pig, much to her delight. My girl, Kan, had very good English, because she’d been a golf caddy in Bangkok (yeah, right). She was refreshingly close to the cliché of “me not like bar work, but I like you, etc.”
Nevertheless the girls were good company and we went back to our rooms and they went out to get some food and ice for drinks (they bought!) and we had a party on the balcony. We then retired for a party in our own rooms! Lord knows what my friend’s
girl made of him having to get out and fit his knee brace before the festivities could begin. Still, she’d probably seen stranger!

Day 5
I actually managed to go out in the afternoon! I went over to the Handicraft Market on Second Rd, as I got there the most impressive rain storm hit Pattaya. Great to watch from under cover, but didn’t provide any respite
from the heat. Actually the effect was more like throwing water on the coals of a sauna. Have I mentioned the heat? The temperature hits you like a hammer and during the day any normal activity is way more tiring than you would ever believe because
of it. This was another reason for the nocturnal approach.

That evening after yet another attempt by the kittens in the Pig & Whistle to provide us with something too hot to eat (we were warned that it would make us cry – it didn’t) we walked up towards the Walking St end of Beach
Rd into a bar on the corner of one of the complexes. There was a live Lady Boy show going on in the centre of the bars, but frankly we were more interested in Connect Four and the dice game. I noticed a really pretty girl serving drinks who I
asked if I could talk to – her whole attitude and body language said she wouldn’t believe how pretty she was! Her name was Nor, who was 28 years old – she really didn’t look even close to that. She was from Udon Thani and
spoke little English and claimed to be, and probably was quite new to Pattaya. I’m sure you can imagine the rest, again she seemed to genuinely enjoy herself with me, and I thought she was really sweet. My friend found a more experienced
girl who managed to cope with the need for artificial aids (for his knee, of course.)

If you are young, inexperienced and maybe haven’t been with a lot of women on one level I’d say get to Thailand, but after thinking it through you would be eaten alive, not because the girls are monsters, but because they aren’t!
The short term relationship may be an illusion but it’s a Grade A, Hollywood budget, special effect laden blockbuster illusion of a ride through the most adrenalin fuelled amusement park you could never imagine. You will be hooked; the
only question is for how long.

Lengthy again, I hope you’re enjoying this. I know it’s all a bit same same, but hopefully it proves you can go to Thailand, have a great time and not lose all your money, your heart or your sense of humour.

Stickman's thoughts:

The title says it all!

nana plaza