Readers' Submissions

Private Stalker

  • Written by Anonymous
  • April 22nd, 2005
  • 7 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


"My first visit to LOS and I knew I had to make an impact being a rookie. I was always going to make the usual mistakes but my boot camp time on stickman gave me some preparation.

As I fixed bayonets for my virgin charge, I thought of all that had come b4 me and felt honoured.

The most decorated of them of course field marshal Dana once spilt blood on this battlefield!

As I wheeled past some trenches (the bars) the flack was heavy. I ducked for cover knowing I would be a goner if I glanced up and my load would be shot:( b4 I got 100 metres) .

But with words of Stickman reeling in my ears, I pushed on( quality man more bang for your buck man) don't give more than they deserved. I steeled myself for the battle that lied ahead.

I went straight for the gold… a go go bar in walking st. I HAD TO MAKE MY MARK!! And Stickman would bestow accolades on me. I might be his favourite rookie and maybe lots of points.

I said how much? she say 2500 ST!!. Well in true stickman academy fashion I dismissed her cold!!and kept looking. The training was paying off, but I needed my first kill.. then I spotted her in my infra red sights.. slim red G-string full battle dress 1500 LT. There it was my first kill!! I am now a whoremonger able to march on whore chasers remembrance day once a year. I could see the homecoming now from the front, my parents so proud (if they were alive)

The morning after I surveyed the battle field of the carnage of last nights battle. I felt like a hardened veteran when I gave her the marching orders in the morning, like a true whore chaser!!

Many battles will have to be won on the shores of Pattaya b4 the war is won.

Before our whoremonger sons can walk freely here and not be cut down by the enemy (over priced LON) we will clean up the streets for our future brothers in arms. That was only my first night on the battle field after the troop carrier got in late at Bangkok .

But I had a hardened veteran watching over me when I was charging in my first time . The Victoria cross winner Capt Longprong.(Petros my travel mate 5 tours of duty)

But the next night I was to go out on patrol on my own… a scary thought Longprong said 'I was ready'

Will I get felled by a she male? will the enemy lure me in (over priced bar girl)? and go MIA? What's the telegram to my family going say? We regret to inform you that XXXXXX is MIA in the whoring holy war on over priced bar girls!! I can see the yellow ribbons now tied to trees!

The next night I got wounded after 50 metres!!

Unsuspecting I was lured into a barfine by 37 year old bar girl!! all my points would be lost I would be dishonourably discharged. Stickman would court marshal me so I had to save my career by taking a picture of a couple of kills, so I did….. please!!! Stickman let me stay in the army it wont happen again I am green we all make mistakes. As this story goes on I get better I become a relentless veteran complete with unshaven look and ciggy hanging out the side of my mouth and my pistol upright….:)

"A pre emptive strike was planned from HQ on the holy grail of the enemy (the Buffalo bar) could private striker led by the famous Captain Longprong (petros) take the Buffalo Bar?.

Faint hearted mongers have tried b4 to succeed (to get a 1000 baht LT). Intelligence tells us they get you drunk, then fleece the mongers shooting them like fish in a barrel. My mission if I choose to accept!.. was to get a kill for 1000 baht (LON.. LT) from that bunker.

A daunting task we know, but I had to prove myself!! If I fall in action!… remember me as a true monger. May the whore monger god have mercy on my soul.

A dispatch from HQ informed me that the royal regiment of bareback riders was to give me cover in case of any unforeseen problems. These mongers are the bravest of all mongers!, they know no fear going into battle with no armour, they are known to the enemy as the kamakazi boys!! (no condoms)

As I mounted my motor cycle taxi, my heart was in my mouth, longprong said he would protect my flanks (LON getting me b4 I got there). I got inside the enemy bunker unscathed, took the high ground but was immediately surrounded by the enemy!! Real elite troops from the enemy (BAR GIRLS) I had hand to hand combat with one (she was rubbing my dick) and she was an elite one!! let me tell you!!

Things were getting hopeless I thought of retreating, but I would be branded a coward!!
Then all my training kicked in, I offered this priority kill (succulent young sex pot) ST back at my barracks for 1000 baht she took the bait. I marched her out at gunpoint !! secured her to transport (motorbike taxi) it was now 1 am, she was released at 10 am . In any whoremongers book that's LT!!!! and for 1000 baht yes I had taken the buffalo bar !!

I contacted longprong to tell him mission accomplished !! and to make sure he not fallen in battle. No chance he had waited in camouflage! and got the enemy from that bunker for 1000 baht with no resistance( No Bar Fine) on their way out after work!!! Again he smothered himself in glory.

Ahh I can see the ticket tape parade now when I arrive back getting the keys to the city (red light areas)

But the battle is not over and I push on with my mission in the LOS cleaning up the streets so others may follow…..

Moral is low here in Pattaya as news filters through, unconfirmed of course.

That our leader has been taken off active duty for acts of cowardice not willing to fix his bayonet or cant?. For a charge at the enemy (not getting it up).

Stories and newsreels have been flooding from the Philippines of general Dana standing at the top of the stairs about to board for Farangland pipe in mouth, shouting "I shall return , I shall return".

Who ?? is going to lead us?? where will our direction come from?? maybe Longprong has to be promoted?? . I know myself that I have taken a prisoner (LON) and I am in the middle of interrogation.

I haven't been to the beach head in days opting to sit in my barracks with my prisoner (LON). Sad because our leader is being called a coward (not enough fucking). Will I become another victim, falling for an enemy because all seems lost (relationship with LON )

I lay on the bed with a whiskey bottle watching the fan turn around and around sweating and hallucinating. This place has got me!! (apocalypse now) , with maybe the fall of longprong and now the general (Dana) being called a coward . The enemy are running rampant (2000-3000 LT) Pattaya is now in the hands of the enemy .

We need an inspiration or something (Sir Winston Dana) like we will fuck them on the beaches , we will fuck them in the streets we will never surrender (pay 3000 LT).

This maybe a mission for those daredevil bareback riders a hardy breed who fear nothing the kamakazi boys!!!

They will lead the charge to retake the beach head YES!! I have taken command I will rid myself of my prisoner (she has gone home for the weekend :) ) Field Marshall Striker it sounds good. We will take soi 6 – 9 – 10 swing into the beach rd and take walking street.

There is a lot of wounded mongers. They are at the rear! Lost the urge (dick lost interest) too much baht wasted ! No money left for boom boom and their tour of duty only half way through !(blown all the baht on 3000 baht LON)

Our objective to get as many kills (1000 LT) as possible and regain the beach head ….it will be hard with no Longprong and no orders from "Dana The Coward" , as he is known to the enemy …. Private Striker (to be Cont'd)

Stickman's thoughts:

I'm in NZ at the moment, so no silly comments from me on submissions for a week or two…