Readers' Submissions

More Than Two Sides To Every Story

  • Written by Anonymous
  • April 1st, 2005
  • 5 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

I met my Thai wife 2 years ago walking into a nightclub in Udon Thani. I was on a trip (my second) to meet GTG’s in all regions of Thailand, not to find a wife as I already had gone through 4 of them but to find a nice lady to settle down with when I retired. On subsequent Thai trips (8) in 2.5 years I always made it to Udon Thani to spend time with her. For a while I had a TGF in BKK and PTY but they were forewarned that Udon girl had 90% of my heart. Early in our relationship I started supporting her, paying first for a Studio, then sharing a 2 BR apt with her best friend who worked at 7-11 and had a Thai BF who was in University.

She knew I would spend time in BKK and Pattaya before or after visiting her and never complained once. We had had a agreement that when she got her bachelor’s degree we would marry if we still felt the same about each other. I grew to love and respect her more and more. A year ago we rented a nice house and bought or adopted 6 children. All of the children have 4 legs and bark but they are precious to both of us. About 3 months ago I started getting pressure to marry as papa did not believe that I really had honourable intentions with his daughter (truth be known he was anxious to collect B100,000 Sin Sot). I reminded her of our agreement and while she now owned 100% of my heart I was not ready to give up butterflying for a while yet. She graduated last week, but opted to retake 3 summer classes that she only got D+’s in order to get her GPA up to 3.25+. She will not have that final certificate for 1 year following that as she must also complete an accounting apprenticeship and then like everything else in Thailand the system moves slow.

3 months ago when we talked she wanted to please me, papa and herself and came up with a unique solution. 1. We would get married with formal Thai wedding and 100 guests but marriage would not be registered or notarized. 2. Papa would get his Sin Sot. 3. If things worked out for us we would register the marriage after she received her certificate. 4. I could have 3 years from our first wedding to be Butterfly as long as I spent 50% of my Thailand time with her. I will spend 6 months in Thailand in 2005, so more than 3 months will be exclusively with her. When I butterfly I must not cause her to lose face, I must not do it in Udon Thani, I must not do it when I am with her.

I know most readers will warn me that she has ulterior plans but let me assure you that this is not the case. While she was organizing the wedding (Feb 5th, 2005) I was showing my brother the positive points of Pattaya and the only comments I got was “remember I love you more than anybody can ever love you”. Our landlord lives next door and tells me never has he seen or met a Thai lady as dedicated as her. She goes to school, gets up 5-6am cleans the yards, takes care of the children, never goes out, only has female classmates over after school or on weekends and lights off 8:30 to 9:30 almost every night. No she is not someone with a checkered past and now reformed she is just a wonderful young lady (28 years old). She invited 5 of her college teachers to the wedding and all of them came, they told me that they had to meet the man that won her heart since all during her 4 or 5 college years she never had a boyfriend, she worked to support herself and go to school full or part time depending what she could afford.

She is a lady of her word and explained to me the reason she will allow me to butterfly is because I have tried so hard to learn her culture, to get along with her family and try to live the Thai way. She feels that in return she is willing to learn to understand the Farang way. Again those doubting Thomas’s among you I am due back in LOS in 2 weeks and since she is in University on weekends, studying evenings, doing apprenticeship M-F 8:30 to 5:30 she has given me carte blanch to make a trip to BKK, Pattaya, and Angeles City with my friends. I will be with her for Songkran holiday, 1 week after that and then the last 4 days of my trip, so we will be together 13 glorious days out of 40.

We are on the internet daily for at least 1 hour and that will continue while I am butterflying. Does she believe she is doing the right thing, you bet your bippy she does. One day while we were on web cam her sister called from Pattaya where she lives with her Farang boyfriend all upset and was going to leave him and look for another BF. My wife asked her why she would do that as he treats her well, pays all expenses, gives her B500 a day for cooking, house keeping and taking care of his needs. Her reply was that when she was doing the laundry she found a condom in his pants pocket. My wife explained to her that she should be happy that he uses a condom and that does not mean he has another wife (mia noi), it just means that he is protecting himself and her and she need to be more tolerant and understanding the Farang way. Younger sister accepted the wisdom and is currently still with her boyfriend.

Yes, MGID.

Stickman's thoughts:

It's your life and you are free to live it how you wish, so forgive me when I ask you….why are you going to get married, but continue to bonk other women? To me, this is a classic case of one plus one equaling three.