Stickman Readers' Submissions March 9th, 2005

You Farangs Who Fall For Bargirls Disgust Me – I Did, Do I?

By Mr. Building A New Life

Educated Thai Woman, I agree with some of your points however here is my story perhaps it will soften your opinion or perhaps not.

My family live in Bangkok and have done for many years. I however still live in my home country with intentions to move out and start a new life in the coming months. I am not really new to Bangkok or the bar scene having travelled there
countless times and spent several months there in one visit.

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Now I am young early 30’s very successful professional in my home country and apparently good looking I am told…….and never have any problems attracting intelligent successful women.

I was married to a beautiful girl for 7 years until last year when she was diagnosed with a terminal illness and died the same year.

Now as you can imagine this screwed my head up in a huge way – not only had I lost my soulmate and girl of my dreams but my whole life changed overnight.

I took a career break and headed out to Thailand for a few months after her death to be with my family and yes I met a bar girl (not a Nana dancer or cowboy girl) but a bar girl none the less in one of my local hang outs.

Now ok I have been with bar girls before and I am sure there are many who visit this site who have at one time or another. I formed what I would call a semi-relationship with said girl – why???????

Well I’ll tell you why I had just been through a year of hell with my wife and I was devastated with no direction and at the end of the day I was lonely over those initial months and needed an escape or something to give me the strength
to carry on.

I spent I would say 2 months with this girl and not once did she ask for money (I have now returned to my home country for a while and I do not sponsor her or send her money). We are still in contact.

She stayed at my apartment many nights while I was there. And listen it was not all about sex it was about companionship, someone to wake up with in the morning, someone to eat with and relax with – that’s what it was all about.

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And you know that relationship (If that’s what you can call it) was my therapy that got me through those initial few months without which I don’t know what I would have done to myself. I needed to hold someone and it just so
happens that the girl worked in a bar in Bangkok.

Now maybe I still disgust you – but if so then I really do not care. It helped me through the most difficult time in my life and if you can sit there and judge me for what I did then you are a harder (stronger???) person than I or
most are.

At the end of the day generalisations cannot be made about farangs and BGs and it makes me angry and hurt when I read it on here.

An update: yes my bargirl I have since found out today she is not as genuine as I was led to believe (Surprise Surprise) however she did help me through a very difficult time and wish her every luck with her CHOICE of profession. Although
I am somewhat sad I knew the risks when I met her.

Would I develop another relationship with a bargirl……who knows I won't rule anything out. The last year has taught me how short life is and how quickly it can change – just live it and if your decision to form a relationship
with a bargirl makes you happy but disgusts some then so be it – I am certainly not in a position to judge or comment on anyone’s relationship whether with BG or not.

Stickman's thoughts:

Fair comments indeed.

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