Readers' Submissions

It’s Just A Job



Well it's hard to know where to start! Why not at the beginning as the song goes! I’m English, 45, Single, and reasonably good looking, but emotionally a tad battle-worn! The time comes to get off my ass and stop working all hours god sends, find some TLC & R&R, as the social scene isn’t what it used to be, everyone is married and happy or divorced and bitter!

Having read the Stick for a number of months, and various other sites, the decision was made, LOS for me. Heathrow airport Valentines Day, sod all the cards they can wait till I get home (ha fat chance). Instantly fall in love with all the girls at Singapore Air, who made a long journey very pleasant, they are, quite simply the best airline in the world!

At last I reach the land of honey, not too much grief getting through immigration etc. Not being allowed a credit card, (previous wild spending!!!) it’s straight to the hotel reservations desk. I knew it was to be the JW Marriott, I'd seen it on the Internet, $130, wrong! “Sorry sir $195, best you try Westin Grande on Sukhumvit very nice hotel, 2000 baht cash deposit. Oh well, pay up and off I trot, taxi 560 baht + tolls, there in about 35 mins (midday and lucky). The girl was dead right, top-notch hotel, staff to die for, 3 absolute honey bunches checked me in. The top girl even took me to the room and showed me around, thought better of asking her to join me in the shower……easy, tiger!! Anyway crashed and did some big sleeping, woke up about 9ish, time for a shower, get ready, bar, a couple of Vodkas and away I go. Mooched around just taking it all in, they are dead right, if you haven't been before, it’s hot, very hot, and it pongs a bit! Soi Cowboy or Nana? Nana it was!

I eventually found Nana Plaza around 10:30 and was totally gob smacked! Croydon on a Saturday night can’t come close to the amount of gorgeous girls, all stunners and I mean stunning! Bars showing big screen sport, music blaring, and all the girls you could want, and they want you, in their bars, and in bed. The temptation is hard, very hard to resist, so I didn't! I went into a couple (that's a lie, at least 6) of the bars / clubs, dancing girls, schoolgirls, and all sorts of girls dancing and all wanting me! No stop it behave, you are an ATM!!!!! And don't forget it!!! After a few bars and more than a few lady drinks (I am such a sucker for a pretty face and a smile) its time to have a meander back to the hotel, jet lag and Singha beers (never hit the vodka in the bars) are creeping up on me big time, and its no good bar fining one of these little darlings I haven't the energy (yeah right).

Ok so just one more drink on the way out! Last bar on the right, not madly busy, a few girls and footie on the TV. That guys is where it all went tits up, forget about budgets, bank accounts and being sensible, when one of these honeys makes a move on you! You fall and fall, no parachutes here! I sat at the bar, girl gets me drink, I’m watching the football, ad-break comes on, I turn around and there she is, the girl of my dreams, tall, slim, legs to die for, (Julia Roberts, not tonight babe) 5-9, twenty something, long dark hair and as pretty as… well Mona Lisa eat your heart out, this girl is premiership plus and some. I smile, she smiles back, (this doesn't happen at home) she glides over and away we go! “Can I get you a drink?” yes please, the usual questions, where you from? First time in Bangkok? I’m in love with this girl, and she's listening and laughing at my rubbish jokes, this definitely doesn't happen at home. Ok here we go…so how much to bar fine you? 600 baht, now I have been known to part with some significant amounts of cash in my time, but you've never seen 600 baht come out anyone's pocket as quick as it did then! 600 baht I'd have paid 6000 baht! Well 3 more beers and at least 3 drinks for her and her 2 stunning friends later and the 64 million dollar question, “how much long time?” (I didn't care what the answer was going to be, I d have paid!) 2000 baht for 24 hrs came the reply….we were out of there before you could say “Jack Robinson” (Probably would have gone for 1500)

It’s a lie Thai girls can walk…….we walked to the taxi. Straight to the hotel, top floor bar, bottle of wine, chat, time for bed and that's where it’s censored, but what I will say is that I surprised myself, bit like a milk float hitting a wall at 100mph!

Woke up the next morning with the most almighty hangover, what is in that beer? No make that afternoon about 3 I think. The Angel from the night before was still sleeping; these girls can really put some sleep in! After a shower and all that stuff both the Angel and I need some food, she took me to a bar/café and I had sticky rice with fried egg and Mango! It was heaven and it really worked well on the hangover! You've got to try it! Angel has to be at work in the bar at 4 o'clock (so much for 24 hours!), so we go back to the bar, oh yes via a shop to buy her a new top, they cant be seen 2 days on the trot in the same gear, god knows what the size of their wardrobes are! Got off dead light only 850 baht.

We got to the bar where the girls seemed very pleased to see me/us & feted me like some lost god. That bar bill must have been huge last night. I just sat and took it all in, watching the girls coming to work, arriving side saddle on motor bikes, crazy girls, in this traffic! Fellow farangs coming and going with and without girls, just really chilled out place to watch the world go by.

Later on The Angel asked me if I would like to go to a jazz club, me I'm easy, so bar fined her again, and one of her friends and we went to meet another friend at a bar somewhere in Nana. To cut a long story short I ended up bar fining 3 girls and the friend came too, and we went to a really good jazz club, good band, good food and we all had a really good evening. Needless to say I ended up with The Angel again, indeed she stayed for the whole week.

The next few nights followed much the same, clubs, dancing and eating. The Hard Rock was a really good evening and I can recommend it. (No I don't dance, I’m over 40, and you really shouldn't when you get to that age!!!) Days were spent either in bed, around the pool, or sightseeing or all of the above.

The first few nights were spent out and about in the city and it wasn't until the Sunday night that we stayed late in the bars around Nana. I was sure I could hear the sound of a bell ringing every now and again ! Couldn't be a church bell! It wasn't a clock? Anyway I let it go that first night but the second night it was driving me mad, so I asked The Angel what was going on and she told me that when a punter buys the bar a drink they ring the bell in the bar! Simple really! That night we happened to be in a very quiet bar with 16 bar girls and 3 Brits, yep that's me and 2 terrific chaps, A1 and A2, from the very far Northern British Isles! They were buying the entire bar a drink on every round, that was 16 B52's 2 Bacardi and Cokes and yes 1 Singha ! The bar had no bell ! Thank god as it would have been a terrible noise in there ! Yes, I stood my rounds and we drank the bar dry of Bailey’s at least twice and had a terrific evening ! "For whom the bell tolls?" eh! A great couple of evenings, thanks guys you know who you are!!! Their bar bill on both evenings was in excess of 20,000bht without any bar fines ! Terrific stuff!

Getting back to The Angel, she of course had to be clothed and bar fined everyday which wasn't too bad until she got me into the Jewellers, a 16,000bht bracelet, which made me an even bigger hero in the bar, and nowhere else. Oh yes and 8,000bht for her apartment rent which included the gas, TV, elec, water and 10,000bht at the airport for being an absolute darling and showing me the sights and sounds of Bangkok in seven really wild and crazy days! No I didn't have to pay her daily for staying with me, I know Stick says you should always pay the girls, I figure I did, so she had what can be called a very good week! I miss her Big time, so much fun.

In summation of my first and certainly not my last trip to Bangkok, I can say that I was lucky to be taken to clubs and restaurants that were generally Farang free, and at all times I was treated by the girls with respect and good manners, and yes on a few occasions they paid their way as well, and wherever we went they made sure that in no establishment were we ripped off. They weren't ignorant farm girls as has been stated by previous correspondents and all were well educated. I'm considered to be well educated in this fair Isle but I can still only read and write one language, they can all read and write English to a better standard than I have seen from some of our school leavers, and were speaking Thai and Cambodian which they no doubt can both read and write.

In respect of the title of this piece, I was talking to one of the girls, about how they feel when they get attached to a punter, which they do, they are human! It’s true they do have feelings. She told me that yes there was a farang in her life who came to see her quite often who was married etc who she loves very much and it kills her that she cant be with him, and from what I can gather he's not over enamoured by the situation either and is trying to find the least expensive method of marriage extraction (there isn't one). So I asked how about when she goes with other guys how she feels (she's got to work) and the answer was “It’s just a job” that pays better than the factories!

In response to another correspondent who wrote about fat, balding sad failures that inhabit The Nana's and Soi Cowboy areas of town. Yes there are some sad cases out there, but there are also those of us who work very, very long hours for some of the largest corporations in the world, in this case American Investment Bank, and simply do not have time to start, let alone hold down a relationship with any one. That is if you can find one that isn't already emotionally wrecked and has a plethora of darling children wrapped round her, and a grouchy ex-husband to contend with. I know I've been there and I can't be bothered with all that grief. Let’s see how all you moralistic, happily married thirtysomthings are doing in ten years time when you are going through or have been through a messy divorce, I'll bet that you'll be singing from a different page then!! So in the interim sod off back to suburbia and read the Homes and Gardens website, and keep your views to yourselves.

P.S. All the above can be had for the princely sum of 140,000 baht one week, Great fun and I will be back in May.