Stickman Readers' Submissions March 30th, 2005

Excerpts – Romantic Freelancer Relationships – Not

Okay, Okay I admit it! I am the guilty one! I did not want to submit a bargirl sob story but this one just kept nudging me to cut and paste from my journals and it is me who should be scolded.

A good percentage of submissions warn of not getting involved with these characters and yet I find myself drawn to what makes them tick! I am admittedly a good actor at pretending that I am the romantic knight in shining armour who comes
to the rescue only with the intention of looking for a reaction and logging the process of how they get you hook, line and sinker! They are good sports once they figured out that you know their game and then you end up becoming best of friends
afterwards. Yeah right! Not!

He Clinic Bangkok

I confess this story is really a question of my character and not the freelancer girl in question as I had no intention of seriously getting involved right from the very start and yet led the girl to believe that I was! She was only 19 when
I met her and drove her absolutely crazy!

Carol from submission What is the Thai Woman 29/9/03, 4/10/03. And Where did that Thai Woman go 24/2/2004. Almost stabbed me for no reason the last time I was alone with her only to give me a hug goodbye the last night I was in Bangkok walking
on Sukhumvit and there she was gaining a little weight and all! As usual her way of saying hello is kicking my ass (Literally) then jumping on my back like a piggyback and finally kissing me on the cheek! I have known her going on three years
now and plan to bring her larger Levi originals on her birthday this August! Did someone mention tomboy! I just hope she does not try and ask me to marry her again!

Circa November 2001
Looking for my friend outside the Thermae at 2am Carol spots me and engages in the usual sales pitch solicitation. It was my first time at the Thermae and third trip to LOS. I obliged her and the next day I had my
first experience with a threesome with Carol and her friend Cherry. First time I tested her character too. I gave Cherry 1,000 and Carol 1,500. Carol calls me the next day saying she got into a fight with Cherry because I did not give them equal
amounts. I shot back I only agreed to have Cherry along as Carol was feeling sorry for her as she has not had any customers and rent is due. I told her I do not want her bringing any more friends, as she does not participate anyway. She smacks
me on the head and exclaims that she is not a lesbian!

CBD bangkok

Circa April 2002
One time I called her and her Aunt answered while she was in the shower. Carol cries and tells me she is in trouble and her whole village says that she is involved with a farang. All hell breaks loose in the family and
Carol pleads that I come back soon. I promised to come back for her birthday August 8th. She turns 20. Bought her a cell phone on a whim and she proclaims me now as her boyfriend and that we are exclusive. I just smiled but never stayed faithful
and played on with the shenanigans. Before leaving back for the states Carol tells me to call her everyday or she will go crazy. I agreed and found out from my friend about the Thaitel calling cards for 9cents a minute. I almost called her everyday
and it was a nuisance as I was busy working and each call I sense her growing more attached. I had nothing in common and nothing to talk about so the calls were brief. She says she talks about me to all her friends. I missed calling her one time
and when I followed up the next day she screams and said she thought something might have happened to me and was drunk the whole night and day worrying.

Circa August 2002
I am such an asshole as the real reason I came back is because I have an American lady friend who wants to see Thailand and Asia with me and august is her only time off. So I booked my timeshare at the Marriott in Phuket
and figured I can take Carol along and just wing it so to speak. I arrive exactly on her birthday and took her out to her favourite pastime with her friends and that is singing Karaoke all night. They were all surprised that I sang very well.
I never told them I used to be in a punk band and am a musician. Well I couldn’t speak Thai very well to begin with. Carol, so happy was pissed drunk for three days until my lady friend arrives from the states. She is the same age as me
but is blond and blue eyes and a gorgeous actress. She is a good sport as she walks into my room seeing this naked Thai girl in my bed passed out. Carol politely asks me who she was and I assured her she was just a friend. The rest of the trip
Carol sticks to me like glue until the inevitable Mom and entourage shows up! When my interpreter Zima fixed the misunderstanding and no marriage was to take place, Mom forbids Carol from going to Phuket with us. Carol is pissed and apologetic
to me. I on the other hand was relieved! I took Beth for a day and met Debby too (What is the Thai Woman 29/9/03. And Where did that Thai Woman go 24/2/2004.) So I had a good variety. Back to Bangkok and Carols family is still in town and Zima
my interpreter tells me to go take the family out before they go back home to Ubon. We ate at Carol’s apartment on her Moms request and they had something special for us. I pitched in 1,000baht for food and behold Pizza Hut to go! My American
Lady friend laughed and thought it was a joke. No joke, they don’t have Pizza hut in Ubon! Mom saw it on TV and wanted to try! Afterwards instead of me giving Mom an offering of money to take home (I was thinking 5,000baht) Carol said I
should take them to Big C instead. Oh shit I thought this would cost me an arm and a leg. Still I agreed. Believe it or not, 2 full shopping carts came out to a little over 2,000baht and to boot I bought her little sister a bicycle. They bought
nothing but absolute essentials like slippers for 20baht and toothpaste and toothbrushes and soap. Nothing extravagant at all except for the small bike, which came out to about $20. Carol cries with joy and jumps on my back at the Big C and piggybacks
me and kisses me like an 8 year old. On the other hand, I am such an asshole as in my head I calculated that Carol is even with me now on the Sanuk, as I never pay her anymore. So this is what it is like to be married to a Thai girl. Well, time
to go back home to the states and Carol proclaims that she is no longer working at the Thermae! Oh shit I thought as what is she going to do for money. Well her mom thinks she works in an all night restaurant anyway. She does not like to gohok
(lie) to mom but she sends her money and it has to come from somewhere. My Interpreter Zima tells me that mom probably knows but keeps a perspective as she does get monthly baht from daughter. This girl is convinced she hit the lottery. I had
to think fast and consulted with my friend on how to get out of this. Well I always carry an extra ATM card for emergency so I went to the ATM and took out most of the money. It has $500 in it and I whittled it down to about $60 and then gave
her the card! I told her I was going to put money in it when I get back home and that it had about 3,000baht in it. We never discussed how much I was giving her per month. She knows I am back in November as that is SCUBA diving season.

Circa November 2002
In keeping up with tradition of getting milked for your dough, I was the quintessential Kieniaw (cheapskate) and sent her $200 in 2 ½ months. Carol was indifferent to me upon arrival and after I got back from Phuket
was very distant and altogether cold! Do we know where this is going? The curiosity in me wanted to know what I already knew and all I needed was proof so after Carol dodged my calls for a week I went to the Thermae and there she was, waiting
for a customer. Her friend told me that Carol is not speaking to me and that I made her lose face. Well her friend has a Korean boyfriend who sends her 30,000baht a month and she expected the same from me! Okay Stick readers, Carol’s friend
get 30,000baht a month and still what the fuck is she doing inside the Thermae? My guess is she is lying about the amount or she is just utterly bored and has nothing else or knows nothing else better to do. I was relieved as the experiment is
over and calculated that with all the Sanuk it came out to about 1,500baht each time anyway except I got a little more out of the experiment. But deep down inside I knew I did wrong by this girl. So over it is or so I thought and assumed!

Circa May 2003
Noreen (What is the Thai Woman 30/9/03. And Where did that Thai Woman go 24/2/2004.) Apparently saw Carol's picture in my laptop and told me she knows her and matched the story and figured out who I was. Tells me that
Carol lost her cell phone and will tell her that I am in town. Next thing I know, Carol calls me after telling me to fuck off the last time I saw her at the Thermae. Tells me she cannot forget me. I muttered to myself she couldn’t forget
my baht! She says araina (what) oops I slipped. Well the guilty heart that I have agreed to see her again and she was happy but this time I slip money in her wallet for the Sanuk. She asks what I think of her and I said I thought she is getting
Pum pui (fat) like her Mom! She wrestles me to the ground and I asked what happened to the Levi originals I gave her last time. It got small and she gave it to sister. I laughed and got punched in the shoulder. She is the female Mike Tyson! I
got a bruise now. So I guess the relationship is on again except I make sure she does not try it bare back. She states that after we know each other three years that we should marry!

Circa January 2004
Calling your teeruk or teeruks from the USA and telling them when you are arriving is sometimes not a good idea! I do not recall telling Carol of my coming back as frankly I have lost interest. But she was the first
girl who calls my cell phone while I was still in the airport arriving and picking up my baggage. Gets to my hotel with a friend again who she is trying to help out break into the business! It’s my first night for crying out loud and I
have two girls waiting in the lobby already. The security guys who are buddies of mine as I stay there all the time now hang with a lot are laughing and joking with me that I have everything set up so well. They know Carol already and are friends
with her. I haven’t slept in twenty hours and have a head cold! In two months of my stay in LOS I only see her about 5 times but each time seems to be a crisis. One time I had to take her to the dentist down by On Nut as she had a bad cavity
and the dentist pulled her tooth out. I scold her to quit smoking and she claims she already did and challenged me to find her smoking. Took her purse and emptied it out on my bed. Claims she is quitting drinking too. And lastly states that we
will have known each other 3 years this November. I told her she is getting fat and she shoots back she is going on a diet. Any criticism I have she has a quick answer for. I am getting quite known in her circle of friends and get smiles from
everyone on her street down by Thong Lo. It feels strange and I feel guilty, as I don’t particularly think I did anything good to deserve this. A couple of nights later while I was walking on Sukhumvit with Kamisha (How much does that Thai
woman make 8/4/04) My cell phone rings and it’s Carol crying and telling me she just saw me with Kamisha walking while she was in a taxi cab. I deny, deny, deny and she describes exactly what I am wearing. “What do you want me to
say I asked” Okay I forgive you she says but I see you tomorrow okay mai!” How can I say no? Well our last night together I am the one giving her the cold shoulder and acting like I am no longer interested in the ongoing relationship
and that is when she went into the kitchenette and brandished a knife on me and though it was jokingly as she afterwards used the knife to peel a mango she just bought for me I was taken a back and thought this was it and my life is over as I
know it.

wonderland clinic

Stickman's thoughts:

Mmmm….perhaps I have been eating spicy food for too long, but where is the spice in recent submissions?

nana plaza