Readers' Submissions

Calibra’s Nonsense



During my last submission “My Amazingly Easy Visa Experience” I made some rather unfair comments regarding ex-pats in Bangkok. I was not really thinking this one through and apologise for any offense I may have caused. I hope I can redeem myself by sorting this Calibra idiot out, so here goes…..

Well well Mr. Calibra. That was quite a submission. I’m sure you will have upset many people by your candid portrayal of life in Thailand as you see it i.e. everyone is worthless except for you and that paper trophy of a wife you have acquired (bought?).

Let’s take the time here to set the record straight regarding some of the quite abusive comments you have made.

Firstly, the gentleman & scholar known as Dana. I have read almost all of his submissions and have conversed with him through email from time to time. It is obvious to me that by judging the quality and subject matter of many of his submissions this is a very intelligent and learned man. I only hope I get to work and live half the life he has had. OK, so maybe some of his “antics” when he holidays in Thailand may not appeal to all but hey, the guy is a bit of a rogue. Big deal, so what?

Taking into consideration the type of full on life I think he has had then by all means, rogue on mate. He is hardly carrying out mass genocide or bringing down the nation and I bet the vast majority of the girls he has accompanied during his trips have had the best time of their lives. If all ex-pats behaved like Dana, then bring it on.

Moving on to Mr Cent, his submissions read like a glass of fine Cognac. Smooth, mellow and satisfying. Here is a guy who again I suspect has had a very colourful life, not without its tragedies and has been lucky enough to be able to spend the latter part of it fulfilling simple pleasures, many of which we all take for granted, or are unable to experience due to the day to day bullshit we all have to put up with.

I also detect a slight roguish side to this man, which is sometimes evident throughout his submissions. This only adds to the guy's great character.

Who cares about world politics or the state of the pound versus the dollar or the Iraq / Middle East crisis or any other crap. How refreshing it must be to have a wife who is delighted with her lot and whose primary goal is to ensure your continued happiness.

His Golem Tree submissions were superb. The last Golem submission almost brought a tear to my eye. I will not analyze these pieces. To do them justice you have to read them from start to finish yourself.

As regards squalor in Thailand, I would agree Thailand’s cities and towns may not be the cleanest of places but big deal, where is? Singapore for instance is not without its squalor (Little India, Deskar Road.) And anyway, this point is only a small negative in a land full of big positives. As long as the bars and discos are clean and I can stay in a good hotel then I’ll be happy.

Regarding the so called “disgusting” expats with their “Nana Whores” I’m sorry but again…..big deal???

If a guy is large in stature and it is hot outside, then why the hell shouldn’t he wear sandals, shorts etc etc. And regards sweaty, too right it's sweaty, everyone sweats when outside in Thailand, especially the North.

I would say the vast majority of these guys are having the time of their lives and why shouldn’t they? As long as they don’t give me a hard time (they don’t) then why the hell would I choose to demean them on this or any other website? I would never do this. I do not do this.

I distinctly remember the time when I was drinking one afternoon in the Bamboo Bar not far from Nana (not the one in Buriram). There were 3 “typical” farangs in this one day. Quite old, fat and bald. They were having a good swally and the banter was good natured. To cut a long story short for some reason I got talking to these guys and what a laugh we had, probably one of the best times I have ever had in Bangkok. I ended up rat arsed in Nana Plaza. At some point late afternoon I had called my wife and she came down and these 3 guys showed her nothing but respect. She ended up in Nana Plaza too and admitted the next day what a great time she had.

These types of guys are everywhere, the vast majority of them are gentlemen who treat their women well and as a result get treated well. I will have a pint and a bullshit with any of you. Mr Calibra, you best not be in the same bar!!!

The point here is….so what if people are not Brad Pitt look-alikes? I am not going to analyze and make fun of people no matter what they look like and anyway, what kind of weirdo only concentrates on people’s weak points? We all have em. Best just to ignore them and have a swally.

Retiring to Thailand? As I am only in my early thirties at the moment I am unable to look that far ahead but sure, why not? It’s certainly a possibility. And for those of you who have retired to Thailand…..well done. No matter what your reasons are, I hope you are and remain as happy as a pig in shit. Thailand would be a great place to retire. Cheap, warm, friendly for the most part (except for you, Calibra) and a readily accessible supply of young women. I make no excuse for saying this. Elderly people get treated like shit back in the West. It is part of the Thailand culture to massively respect elderly people so it makes perfect sense to retire there.

To summarise, You people who strut through Bangkok judging everyone and everything by your own paper standards have no business doing so. You are obviously not happy with your lot, so sort it. Calibra, you talk about people not having the brains or the worth to sort themselves out? I put this to you….it is you who has the problem. Deep inside you are f*ucked up. You can’t stand people having a laugh and a good time, can you? You know what you have is bullshit. Now, thanks to your “cry for help” submission, we all know it too.

I will round off by saying this (I am having to drag myself down to your level here) if I ever met you or someone like you I would know it. And I promise you this: For all the ex-pats and fun loving Thai women you have wrongly insulted I would do you some damage you would not walk away from.

Stickman's thoughts:

Mr Calibra's rant has resulted in a bulging inbox of email today!