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Would You Want To Be Anywhere Else?

  • Written by Anonymous
  • February 28th, 2005
  • 15 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

By Uneducated Aussie


I went to Pattaya pretty much up to speed from the stick site, but you are never really ready for that place first time!! I got a nice looker here in Aust and a few in the mobile… But I always had a thing for the Thai & Asian ladies.

I wanted to break my duck in Pattaya with a gogo girl, that was a disaster!. She spewed her guts up everywhere but she still was a lovely girl. on our way back from the gogo bar we had a drink and had first taste of what these girls are like at wiping my face because I looked hot. That doesn’t happen here, not to me anyway. You’ve gotta be the attention giver to these western Sheila’s. But reading sticks site…I said goodbye in the morning and thought ‘fucking hell’…. Letting that gorgeous specimen go!!

I’ve heard about all these guys having relationships with bar girls, but thought well fuck it… I might try that too if I like one enough. I would see all types of guys… Fat ones ,ugly ones ,old ones ,well presented ones all holding hands with a little Thai girl. Well all I can say is they all looked really happy and so did the girls. As I got to know some of the girls at the various bars in the early part of my holiday, I had absolutely adored them! Fun to be with, fun to go out with, to eat with and you could shag them at the end of the night. Christ this place is for me!, these girls ain’t hookers as in the dictionary! In Australia, you go to kings cross or S. Kilda in Melbourne or a massage parlour out here and pay to shag junkies for $120 Australia. What take out a junkie hooker and eat with them?… I don’t think so!!!! No way!!

By the way…I read gecko’s article on here & and get f….d fool!!

What a tosser!, must be from new Zealand (only joking stick) .maybe gecko should go and get laid !,most likely got some big f..king cow sharing his bed… Poor c –t !! Most of us who read this site.. Have fun on here and barfine Thai ladies & us alike have kids. So if you want to suggest we add to child sex slavery is words of a silly red wine sipping mis-informed idiot whom believes the newspapers too much and has no real grasp on reality c.–t!! Full stop>>> never run into me in a street you fool… Saying shit like you did!! I treated those Thai girls with up most dignity like they treated me… So fuck off gecko and get your soap box from somewhere else. in fact the medical system is jammed full of addicts filling the hospitals coming from a lot of middle class families, whose parents are too busy saving the fucking whales or worried about what some guys are doing in Thailand, rather than keeping an eye on their kids! Instead of taking the attitude of ‘my kid wouldn’t do that’.. Not meaning you gecko, but get into the real world knuckle head!! STDs jam up the hospital system you said? Where did you get that shit from!! L would just about guarantee not 1 bar girl has been press ganged into being a bar girl… So shut it!!
Anyway back to the story, I met a little lady.. Lets call her en ok. I spied her one night on my way to walking street in a bar. .she was shy & didn’t move, I said to my mate there is something about this one .she wouldn’t look me in the eye & couldn’t speak English. Found out she was 27 and had been here 10 days. Reminded me in the eyes of a girl I knew once here ok… That’s where it started if you think there is a horror story coming up… Well there isn’t. But just gonna prove we lie as much or more than bar girls at times!! Oh she was a treat!, even though it was hard communicating ,we went everywhere. but I said to myself.. "I am going to keep this business’!! Pay up her bar fine in the end for the whole time I was there and the agreed amount of 1000 baht a day, that way I owed no one anything & it turned out the best investment I ever made. She never let any shop, restaurant, taxi or anyone rip me off. I would let her pay for everything & she never touched me for a single satang!! I would go to her bar most nights with her and buy some lady drinks for her friends before we would go out for dinner. she felt very important and I miss her but ain’t in love with her. well on the weekend she went home because it was the election weekend so I had some spare time on my hands. I went express to the buffalo bar as I really love that place’s had barfined 2 girls on different nights. great girls!! Like them all, f—–g magic they are! Anyway en decides to return earlier than planned at 2p.m instead of 8pm as planned…Whether to surprise me or check me out…I’m not sure. luckily she had just missed one of the buffalo gals by 3 min!! How ironic. she was nagging about ‘butterflies’ before going home. as much as I had liked keeping it strictly business…It’s virtually impossible…You can’t! These girls stake a claim & that’s it. but it’s all good & that’s the way I wanted it…To see if all these stories on here were going to be tried on me? I know she was ‘falling’ but what do you do? She will eventually harden to the trade in time….

Also my daughter was coming down to Pattaya for 5 days to see me, she was then going home to Australia after being in Ko Samui.

Well then I got the flu …Christ, I was sick for 5 days bad. En never left my side this little angel, oh fuck!..am I becoming fond of a bar girl shit!!! Well she tells me that mother is coming down from shit creek to say hello… Oh shit here we go… I got sticks site ‘ringing’ in my head!. She says she is staying at Jomtien overnight on Saturday( is this the pitch) well off we went Saturday night to mum who was fucking 5 years younger than me! Well we met them!! Yes them outside a eatery… Stepdad and also his 2 brothers who were pissed on whiskey !Fuck me dead!… What am I in for here? Well I knew I was going to cop the bill, that’s par for the course around here. A POM warned me if you meet the family you pay. Oh well what could I do now?… Well mum was a knockout!!.. I wanted to barfine her on the spot!!! Stepdad was a good bloke but mum was here to sow things up and during part of our conversation, mum was in new Zealand for 5 years at some stage she said. I couldn’t too ask much as ens step dad was here .. Hmm maybe a fa..lung stick?? One daughter was in Switzerland married and knew what was on mums mind and that explained why en had a Swiss stamp on her passport. Went to help sister when she had a baby for 3 months. The brothers were making a prick of themselves pissed, but I think the Thai owners or staff knew they had a farang on the spit so they said nothing. I pulled mum aside and said look en must keep her head on her shoulders, she doesn’t know me ..must take slow… She said ‘I talk with her’. All the time looking at en, I was feeling like a c—t. This girl… This little darling thought this is my man. I am out of this shit… She just kept staring at me. Fuck! I shouldn’t be sitting here!, my girlfriend keeps SMS me on the mobile.. ‘how’s things babe having a good holiday’ and here I am sitting with kung fucking fu and his brothers… What a mess!. I thought if they knew this, a meat cleaver would be coming my way anyway dad ( fuck I am calling him dad, he has a taxi in Bangkok) upon leaving he drove taxi down & we all hopped in to drop myself and en back at Pattaya. But then the phone rang… We hopped out…. No idea what was going on. Turned out en’s aunty was in Jomtien on holiday from the back of beyond and wants to meet the fa..lung. Well we walked to a nice hotel and out came aunty and stepdad said ‘you look after her ok’. I get the message they took off and I sat with aunty on a seat. She was telling me they would have a party for me at Mahasarakham when I come back oh nice one!! (can I bring my girlfriend from oz) fuck I felt like a c—t.

Now let me be clear on this… These people were lovely people and shared a common sense of humour. All just being there for en! The next day my daughter turned up and I didn’t hide en, they call all kids there baby. They got on good, my daughter said a couple of days later.. ‘daddy I have never seen you smile as much for so long, not before mummy got killed’, if your happy, I am. My daughter doesn’t know anything about what bargirls are perceived like. En was judged on her merits, not by a type cast, that’s how my kids have been brought up, but she does have a lot to do with my girlfriend in Australia. But bribes are good in this situation, like: what happens in Pattaya stays in Pattaya … Here’s 5 thousand baht to shop with in Bangkok on your way home !! Keep quiet!! Bloods thicker than water right!!

Well on Sunday, I said to en ‘you want to go back to the flat and do some things while I go do some business sweety’, ‘yes I come back soon’ she says, ‘well look darling I will tell them to leave the key for you at reception if I ain’t here ok sweety I wont be far ok darling’.. ‘I watch TV’ she said.

Back to the buffalo bar! Boy was I having the time of my life. Short timed a lovely girl who wanted me to go long time, also she scratched my back with her nails rather badly( thank fuck it was not my ozzie Sheila back at the hotel )but no chance of long time, it was getting late. my mate turned up who I came over with he was shagging his brains out and loves the place.. Who wouldn’t? It’s his second time here but thinks the way I do, it’s the girls attitude’s he likes, the shagging is second if you can understand that. I was in full swing..fuck its like playing up on the misses! What am I going to tell en?, its 1 am and wont be any boom boom I already had plenty so ahaa …

I devised a story… Well that’s showing respect I think… Instead of walking in and saying nothing, because I was now rating en I had become attached yep I like her a lot fuck it!!!
So I got back to the hotel holding my shoulder, I told her ‘I fell off motor bike’ because the little stunner at the buffalo had scratched my back in the heat of the moment. So that base was covered then base 2.. No boom boom on Sundays I solly I am catellic!! Not allowed on Sundays!! What a fucking genius I am thinking that one up but more and more I liked this girl so to square off in my mind. I bought her a good mobile, which her one was shit and a watch, some clothes for her son (he’s only 4).well if ever I did that in oz for a Sheila… It would be met with ‘that’s nice thank you’, but en she started nearly crying the sweetheart and jumped all over me & made me feel 10 feet tall, but still what a prick in my mind!! Valentines was great, there’s all the girls putting stickers on you, love hearts, real sweet stuff, hit they are terrific girls… I defend them more than I would a woman I would’ve met in a bar in oz . Well soon I was to go to Bangkok for 2 days en route back to oz. I said ‘pack ya case en your coming with me’ I knew when it was imminent I was about to leave Pattaya. Soon I would miss the great food, the lovely warm girls, the friendly atmosphere, it was hard thinking about ,so I went around to many bars I went to and a couple of girls I barfined and said I will be back and thank you for giving me the time of my life. I love you all and gave a couple a cuddle, great girls… Miss em all! Oh I did get up to Nong nooch I think its called.. The village cultural and elephant show while I was there.. 1 hour I lasted !!Fuck that!!, back to Pattaya real quick! One bar you ozzies must go to is the ‘boxing roo’ on 3rd rd Pattaya, just opened got the good stuff VB and a bit of ozzie rules and rugby league. So when en and I took off to Bangkok… All the way I was thinking… ‘Christ don’t get hooked’..don’t get hooked!! She dries you when you come out the shower, she washes your hair, she cleans your silver necklace, she shells your prawns on the beach, she gets your drinks on the beach, she wipes your forehead when your looking hot, she sits there and stares at you hanging on every word… Don’t get hooked !! Don’t get hooked!! She has a great body, she is only 27, she smells great, oh fuck!!… Remember stickman.. Remember the stories! Don’t fall boy! Don’t fall!

Anyway we got to leave for Bangkok, I told the driver to cha cha crap all the way and I would tip him well. He remembered ‘you give good tip, I drive slow’, ok ok cop 200 baht. Checked out nana plaza and the surroundings. That place needs a good clean up!, it’s filthy and the bar fines!! Glad I took my own girl… 500 to 1500 baht barfine the boys up there tell me!! The bar owners are a bit greedy. Both nights I drank at the roo bar another new Aussie place, small but good & funny how a lot of the bar owners or locals shitcan Pattaya scene abit. noticed quite a bit of white flesh working the freelance scene must be Russians.. F–king not bad either some of them!, must admit there were some real lookers in Bangkok. But all the horror stories about Bangkok, smells of traffic, cant move I liked the city! It really has a buzz and the smell? Didn’t smell much at all to me. well I told en to book her fathers taxi to get me and her to the airport. He might as well have the fare.. I gave him a thousand baht… Silly really, he will think I am a king .then she said ‘I no work in bar, I wait for you’… My insides collapsed at the point, ‘I go back Mahasarakham’. Oh my sweet little thing ..I so want to save you from the bar scene and stop you from becoming hardened… But how I thought ?? I went for a walk on my own to think looking at what they earn in the bars unless you get barfined it is not a big living anyway. I decided I would send her $150 Australia a month. only to help her but no more, call it as a friend not a payoff to not work in a bar. I told her if she still chooses to go back then I stop its to get her life in order.

I know people in Pattaya, it will be easy to find out weather she is or not. it’s not for me, its for her I do it and if she does take the money and goes home, just maybe she proves herself?, just maybe I might do something about it in the future I mean. Because I do rate her… But I have no future with a bar girl, it will be up to her weather I will give her a helping hand., but any more demands come its not on !!So I will see soon when I go back for an extended stay because it is up to ones self to change their life… But I will help for now. if it is the same old story its good night dick!! But I do miss her a lot. I went through passports at don Muang airport, I gave her all my baht I had left in my wallet about 6 thousand baht, kissed her gently and said I be back sweety and thank you for just being you and of course waiting at Melbourne airport was my girlfriend so it just ain’t the bargirls who can lay the bullshit on. hey… Well the first words I got was’ I don’t know if I really know you anymore’ and ‘if I really love you’… Looking for me to bite: well fuck ya, I felt like saying!! Get over to Thailand and see what real woman treat their men like. I just don’t need this shit no more!! Long live Pattaya. Would you want to be anywhere else!!!

Stickman's thoughts:

Oh dear…