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Searching For Miss Goodbar – The Quest Coninutes



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Searching For Miss Goodbar – The Quest Continues


Searching for Miss Goodbar, – the quest continues….
(Further [new] excerpts from the Butterfly Chronicles.)

There are soooo many lonely people out there…. I really had no idea, but my Christmas and New Year visit to the LOS once again confirmed my suspicions between the City of Angels [Bangkok/Krungthep] to the shores of Pattaya, and I bring to you a New Year message from the land of smiles, – where not quite everyone is smiling….

A word here to express that the views contained herein are not necessarily my own views nor shared by me necessarily, but are the frank and unvarnished comments I listened to from 2-3 different subjects, [over 3 parts? TBC] each with their own gritty yet frank, and to the very best of my knowledge 'honest' story to tell…. Names have been changed for obvious reasons to protect the guilty (!!) or innocent, as have certain facts to properly disguise the subjects at hand, and to protect them from any unwanted or unwelcome attention.

This is a 'slice of life' from the other side, a Thai BG's point of view on things, the 'flip-side' from the land of smiles…. What follows is a discussion that was carried out over the course of several days, but merged or rather 'married' together to make one, cohesive narrative.


Interview with Miss Goodbar? "Ling's" story….

Hello sexy maaan, come sit down pleese?! Those near immortal words uttered by so many a BG will ring forever in the minds of any red-blooded single man who's ever visited Thailand as they do for me, both irksome at times, and charming. The same words heralded an unexpected conversation for me, with a proverbial 'Miss Goodbar' when in Pattaya recently. My "interview" began candidly and unexpectedly on the Bar Bier shores of Pattaya's warm windswept bar scene, when walking home one night, slightly dejected from the jostling overcrowded chaos that was characteristic of South Pattaya….
Funny, I usually ignore those words, they're so tacky right and mean 'nothing' (?) – but somehow the attractive yet unassuming girl in question caught my eye, – I faltered, meandered and stopped even, then walked over to her bar and sat, – albeit somewhat reluctantly… After all, I was tired and needed a Beer, – and my legs were killing me anyway, – it was about 02:30am. Do I need any more excuses?

Close encounter….

"Ling" sat casually, even lazily at her bar-side 'post' on her nightly vigil, inside the small Bar Beach Rd Bar Bier as she called me over, and smiled meekly as I approached. Plonking the well deserved beer in front of me as she undoubtedly has so many hundreds of times, to a never ending armada of faceless tourist's, she sat again in front of me. Falteringly, the conversation began, slowly, as Ling sat slightly slumped on the lower counter, feet and legs outstretched as she began her gambit. Ling made no tangible attempt at chatting me up, [in fact, it seemed like too much effort!] but simply talked instead, putting me at my ease. I felt no need to fend off any unwanted or unwelcome advances, – I was under no pressure here with this girl…. I felt as if she was uninterested, yet polite and nice, and there would be no need, or pressure, to bar fine her… I felt instantly at my ease.

The usual "Where do you come from" What your name?" were dispensed with for more complex and well-worded questions, albeit encompassing the same information requirements, but spoken intelligently in good, even excellent English from this girl who claimed her English was very "Nit Noi" [Little] Often shyness inhibits them, but once they get talking and get to know you, the ice breaks and the English gets better as their shyness melts away.

Ling brushed her hair slowly aside with a well manicured hand with blood red fingernails, speaking softly but clearly, almost telling a tale in her saddened body language of recently broken promises and wore her heart on her sleeve, presenting a picture of a "casualty", – wearing her pain quite clearly for me to see, but trying so hard to disguise it too, – unsuccessfully….

My Doctor Bartender?

Ling went on…. "Ohhh yeesss when 'love' come big problems come too" "You cannot have love without problems" she cooed looking downward making spiral patterns with her finger in spilt water patches on the bar, pulling her Denim skirt downwards modestly revealing shapely legs, neat toes again nicely manicured. Here was a girl who took care of herself at least.
A white T-Shirt displayed ample, shapely breasts, she was noticeably a lot more attractive than I had at first noticed, and her voice was like soft rain, I was becoming slowly more interested in her, here eyes were bright, soulful, and yet so baleful and sad with so much to tell… Funny, how even a BG can 'spark' something in a guy, and when I was asked, I simply mentioned about a painful episode with my own GF. It seemed to trigger an almost instantaneous response from Ling, with her looking into the air, almost 'searching' the air in front of her for the right answer, [then looking thoughtfully down at her feet] carefully delivering her response again yet revealing her own heartache. I could tell Ling had a story to tell, and that she was possibly no ordinary girl, whatever that really is, and wanted to hear more, there was something to 'explore' here with this girl, somehow….

It's funny how a conversation can be struck up with your so-called Bartender, it seems to be almost a prerogative! How a stranger can tell another stranger their secrets, – over a beer in a relaxed uninhibited atmosphere, – even in bar-bier land in Pattaya?….

Ling's carefully delivered words fell softly, sweetly even and with a high intonation that reminded me of Thailand's answer possibly to Hollywood actress "Melanie Griffiths", – dizzy yet intelligent, albeit with obligatory dark hair with brown highlights, falling aside a coffee and cream tanned face, with full lips. Her occasional laugh or giggle was infectious, but came only after some time and with gentle persuasion. This girl had clearly been 'critically wounded' on the battlefield of love and deceit, and I needed to tread with caution, and was only her own supreme effort to attend the bar to talk and for us to share these moments….

Steering away from the [apparent] cause of her pain, I offered some questions to get her opinion on some more general aspects….

S: What do you think about Thailand's new [crackdown] laws which make Bars close early, (?) is it a good or bad thing do you think??

L: Hmm I don't know, – good for me maybe? [laugh] [I] can go home earlier but my bar [here] have customer come late from 'walking street'…. Have many customer walk walk around, nowhere to go after 1 or 2 O-Clock…. I come this bar 10 O-Clock every night I work, then go home about 6 O-Clock [am] I work when I like, not every night, – just if I need money for something or want to see friends…

S: So, you are like a 'Freelancer' work-as-you-please? I see many English tourist's in Pattaya now, all from Phuket [after the Dec 26th Tsunami] but they all talk roughly [badly] and swear a lot, – have you seen them?

Comment S: Never have I seen such a flood of tourist's as in Pattaya early January 2005, and disappointingly, hundreds, thousands of British louts too, foul mouthed with nothing but a string of obscenities coming from their mouths… "Neanderthal" would be a compliment, and an enlist to that prehistoric species of Homo Sapien. (Homus Erectus) It made me actually ashamed of being British…. I wonder what the Thai authorities think of this unwelcome influx?? I felt like I was in the aftermath of some British Football game back home walking down Walking St. sometimes. Awful, just awful…. And I thought it was the Thai authorities incline was to rid Thailand of this ilk of tourism?…. I had heard unofficially, some Chelsea Football hooligans had bought a Bar Beer/Bier somewhere. God save us….

L: Ohh yes, many falang from England here now, tooo many English tourist's speak bad, like f****** this and f****** that, F*** you!?, [sweeps hand] and do this a lot, I not like and when/if I say "hey sexy man come sit down?" – and they say BULLSHIT F*** off bitch!!! – [Gasps] I mean, [gasps] what can I say?? What can I dooo this is my life…. It make my heart hurt you know? [tears well up in her eyes] You know, we only joking with falang…not serious…only joking….what can we do??

S: Yes, and some 'tourist's' have the attitude; "I am the mighty farang, you must go together with me if I pay your bar fine!!" They can't understand you [girls] have a choice….? Some men think 'money is power' over you girls….That you have no or little choice….

L: Yeeesss, right, if I don't like someone I will not go with him, and some man [men] offer bigger money but if I don't like them, I don't go, I don't care about that, – up to me…. I need to 'feel' to have feeling with someone, or I cannot make love you know, – no feeling no love for me and I will not go with someone…. [A somewhat uncommon statement, many BG's will do whatever for money, but this girl has well, some 'soul' to her it seems, – think I'll hang around a while longer]

Comment S: I've heard the former about 'choices' this from many a different girl, – they really can 'choose', it's not the "sexual slavery" trade we are often led to believe, but there are of course exceptions to this rule. This 'refusal' or 'rebuttal' can and often causes indignation and even anger from their farang customers, [Especially Chelsea Football thugs?] and especially from certain different [Asian?] and some middle eastern cultures, – whereby it is expected for the woman to be submissive and obey…And where so-called prostitutes have no rights at all]

A Dark episode….

S: Ling, some farang are [so] very rude right? Some very 'strong' the way they speak and what they do?? I am so often "embarrassed" by my fellow travelers/tourist's, and this is why I prefer to travel and remain alone, – so many men [I have met] have so little respect for women generally around here….

L: Yesss suure, – one time, I very very tired and someone come and sit there [points to stool next to mine] A tourist, from… Greece? [Greek] Ermmm, – maybe Turkey I not sure but he sit there and I make drink for him. I am tired and sit like this [face down on arms on bar counter] and he says "Go and stay over there, if you like that DON'T sit there, go away!!!" I say, "cannot" this my bar, what I can do? I working here" Him shouting, "Why you like this? – go over there, – go away from me you not respect me"

S: Oh God! – and then what?

L: "Ok ok!!" I say and try make joking to him about it but he go on and on [until finally] "Okay! I say, go, pay your check-bill and go, – I don't care! – you not speak to me like that!!" – "Okaaay bitch?" he said looking me very baaaad you know, looking like this at me, like Tiger…. He shake my hand very strong, I put my hand out and he pull me suddenly near him and stare me in the eye… "Yes I remember you girl, I will see you again" He squeeze my hand tooo much, Jep jep mak mahk!! – it hurt!! I shout him "Let gooo!!??" He pull me over bar and I cut my leg, [points to small scar] Cut from a loose nail sticking out.

S: [Shaking my head in disbelief] Oh Ling, jeez, did he go away then?? Did you see him again?? What did you do? You know some lady/s will take 'revenge' on such Farang?? I heard many stories about some Thai men 'boxing' some bad farang when someone pay money for that….??? He sounded a deserving case!

L: Yes, I know…. [pregnant pause] I do [something] for him too….

S: What? You had him beaten/boxed by someone??

L: Yes, me dooo for him, one time…. I calling my 'friend' at his home to come to bar, and say I have "job for him to do", – with the farang….I see [follow] farang go another bar, I can see him still not too far away when I call my friend… You know, my 'friend' him do boxing, that all he do, for money, for collect money something like that….[Muay Thai] I say I give him 1,500 Baht for do 'job' with Farang and him come to bar…. I show him Farang do bad for me, him angry, and he go after the farang… The farang go away now, so my friend follow him down Beach Road going North…. I take motorbike and follow my friend, I want to watch him do…. I said my friend he not 'do' I not pay him money, I want to watch….[Ling looks grim, deadly serious]

S: Crikey, and your friend boxing the farang?? {I wouldn't wanna upset this girl!?}

L: Yes, him boxing him a lot, I [am] watching, looking and farang go/fall down on his knees like this [praying posture] "Please don't hit me, I'm sorry, what I do??" My friend boxing him good, [on his face] and he went to Hospital after that the farang…but I feel bad, bad bad bad, – I 'lose' something inside me….you know, not good for Thai people….not good for to do that….

S: I've heard of similar tales of "instant retribution" in Thailand, – your story isn't new to me, but I am surprised you did that, – you, – you just don't seem the type Ling?? Ohhh I must be nice to you eh Ling?? :) [laughs] She playfully slaps my arm….

L: Before, I crazy you know, happy, happy happy "sanuk sanuk too much" and sometimes 'buuuung!!!" – like crazy girl and ride motorbike too fast, [gestures holding bike handlebars] dooo many crazy things, sanuk-sanuk too much, "me pooying bah!!" Now I 'serious' girl, not same…I don't know why but I think different than before….me not same now old lady at 25….

(The next parts took place often in The "Pig & Whistle" Pub & restaurant, on Soi 7….)

S: Do you have a boyfriend now? [Oops, there I go again, done it again haven't I?] Damn, didn't mean to ask that one….really didn't…. [But it's such an obligatory question]

L: [pause] No, finish already, before….him from England [too] but now…[pauses-falters] looks down as her words peter and fade out…. [continues:] Now separate but before we do everything together, have a life together you know?…. I have baby before with Thai man, my Son, now 6 years old and lives in Bangkok with my Daddy, – him a good good man.

Ling's face is etched with pain as she tries to find the words…she falters but cannot answer, the wound is clearly still open and hurts her like hell….

S: No, no it's okay don't talk about it, – sorry about my question Ling…you okay?? I am really sorry okay? Never mind about that….

L: [Continues anyway] Him name "Stanley" from England, he Engineer from working Dubai, – something to do with Oil, you know big money, about 40,000 Baht for one [1] day's work, – big money. He stay in Pattaya long time before, – we stay together, he had big Condo near Nong Nooch, 10 Million Baht….Something like that….

I took you from the bar….now I will give you back to the bar….

L: We had everything, I had a small car, but we not together all the time, Stanley was away a lot of the time, and out of 18 months of our relationship, we were together [solidly] for only 9 months out of that. I had a small shop and use of the Car, and had friends sell Jeans for me. Ohhh I very happy, not much to do but check-check books of business every day, -go home watch TV, – listen to music call friends….

S: Were those happy times Ling? – what went wrong?

L: Hmmm, I cannot tell you… errr well, him very angry with me sometimes and boxing me…. We fighting too much, so separate…. Happy sometimes, me not happy alone but when Stanley come home I very happy again [giggles, – smiles broadly and fondly]

S: What? really? [Thinks: Obviously she was in love with this guy, – it shows….]

L: Yes, but once he said for one [whole] month I cannot go out or see anyone, – so I had to stay inside the Condo for one whole month when he was away…what I can dooo?? You know…. I walk from this room to this room and then this room, -nothing to do, very lonely me you know? Him 'lock' computer so I cannot use and TV. Cannot see my friends too…He not let me and ask maid to check my friends come or not, so to tell him [about me] when he comes back from abroad….

S: You were like a [virtual] prisoner then, in his Condo? [Thinks: Why did she put up with that shit??, sounds like some obligatory 'control freak' to me her former BF]

L: Yes, but I opened [his] Computer, [giggles] – I used to lie in front of him and watch, – I'd watched him before and got the key and 'pressed' [pressing her thumb into palm of other hand] like this, you know? – [when he not see] to make copy key [impression] and got my friend to make "new key"….to unlock computer…[smirks!] I'd open Stereo too and TV, and for one week I had lots of fun using the computer, TV and stereo…alone! I used to lie there and watch Stanley for hours on his Computer and learnt how to use it and access it…. He had big TV, you know like this? [Sweeps arms] (Gas Plasma 32" type)

S: Hah, that was smart! But risky too, knowing his behavior right?? [Sure sounds like one of those control freaks if you ask me this guy]

L: [smiles] Yesss, and him angry but he doesn't know for sure…he only suspects I use his Computer and things…But I take care and never break anything, but don't know why he did that [to me] I take care, I don't know why he did that with me….
[Hah] My [male] friend very good with Computer you know? – he teaching me a lot, and teach me how to read and access websites and data…. teach me to access Bank account of Stanley….[smiles] I can [then] see he have 2 Million Baht in his account, – he tell me he have nothing….

S: What did you do?

L: I tell him one day, you know I angry he lie so much with me about money and take lady take lady when I don't know. So I say, "You only 2 Million Baht okay?" – "You tell me you not have money right, why??" – Him do this… [mimics someone throttling someone by the neck] – Oh I cannot breathe, hurting sooo much, he hold me against the wall like this… [mimics someone pinned against a wall, while being held by throat… [looks down sadly] I angry, – for one month he did not give me money, said he have no money

S: Oh my God, I'm soo sorry but if you were living together, why did he forbid you to use his stuff?? You weren't married right, but 'partners' boyfriend & girlfriend??

L: I don't know…him crazy sometimes you know? – I don't understand falang sometime…him do bad bad for me… No we not married….

S: What, that instance and time?

L: [falters] No….later, him, -him erm, boxing me…ohhh so bad, I go to Hospital…. [looks down] One night we fighting oh so much in restaurant ["Pig & Whistle" Pub, Soi 7] He take [another] lady and my friend tell me he do…Ohhh I so angry and get drunk, you know? I take my [small] handbag like this and hit him like this…[mimics swiping action, with small handbag] on his head… He grabs my hand like this [mimics blocking action by boyfriend]

S: Oh God, then what? [Thinks: What a jerk, a prime 'loser']

L: Oh him get very angry, – [Ling closes her eyes remembering] he grab me my arm and take me outside to car….[people looking] inside car he boxing me, boxing, boxing, boxing me….never stop, never stop…. [weeps] Hitting me like this [left ear and neck area] until I have blood all down here [points to ear and down left side of neck and breast area] He boxing me and boxing…until I lie still and he do no more….I scared…My Earrings [points to ear] have many, many like this…[was studded with several] all gone…broken and my ear [torn – mimics ripping motion of her left ear lobe…] My head…spinning, cannot see, cannot speak…

Putting my hand on Ling's arm, I urge her to stop talking about it….and reassure her, she's becoming very distraught…

L: No no it okay now, long time, 3 month before now….and he take me to my apartment…[after the beating]

S: Oh that was nice of him eh?? [sarcastically]

L: Yes, him just bring me my room, [carries me like this] in his arms and just [dumps] me on bed, switches on Aircon… then leaves… I cry cry cry….alone, in the dark, I don't know where I am…I cannot stop crying. I cried for one week after that you know, every time I wake up until I sleeping again…
Anyway, Inside the car he say me…"I took you from the bar…[bitch] now I give you back to the bar" I remember that… I later go to [Pattaya] Hospital take care my ear and face….Doctor want call Police, – I say "no" nooo, – make him more angry, more trouble.

Divine Retribution?

L: After him take me home and leave me, he drive home again, – then have big accident in his car near his Condo…Him broken here, here and here… [points to left side ribcage, lower spine] Him very very bad… But I not know he have accident until my friend call me next morning, and her friend tell her he [is] in Hospital.

S: What did you do then??

L: I went to [the] Hospital with my friend and her falang Boyfriend, – ohh him very angry with Stanley, and ask me "Why you helping that asshole Ling??" Doctor ask me to sign many many papers for Stanley, I sign, sign sign, oh! my Buddha many thousands of Baht, 40-60,000 start with!! I worry about cannot pay or not, so much money but I want [must] help Stanley… Him see me and cry, – ohhh he cry a lot and hold [embraces] me like this… I hurting still and he cry about my ear and face, I blue and black by now, here and here…[points to ear and side of face of herself] He say sorry Ling, I soooo sorry,
Nobody care about him though…his falang 'friends' not come to help him in Hospital….only me and my [girl] friend and her English boyfriend, – but him soooo angry with Stanley and leave quickly….I sign [Hospital acceptance] papers, take care him and when he sleeping, I went home….about 5am or 6am….

S: Ohh, – such 'bad' times eh Ling??

L: Yes, bad times…[looks reticent] Maybe Buddha do for me I don't know when I make boxing for that [rude] farang tourist 1 year before??…. We must to helping each other, but I was different then, my heart not the same now, I 'think' more carefully now I am older, and think about the [consequences] more than before….

S: So what happened to Stanley afer that accident??

L: He went back to the Condo after about 2 weeks, where I take care of him, oh, for long time he just lie lie in bed, cannot get up or move…. I feeding him [spoon feed by mouth] like this, and clean him every day…. I cleaning his toilet from bed too, [points to her backside] outside and take care him after [that] accident.

S: Just like a Nurse then?? You took care of him like that, – after what he did to you??

L: Yes, of course, what I can do?? Nobody [else] take care of him, nobody want to know him, none of his friends 'like' him much, he make a lot of trouble always….

I know where you are….

S: You said you sent me a fake SMS message the other night, [I suddenly got some weird SMS messages sent to me seemingly in error?] – to check on my location?…. A novel idea and from my polite reply; "You've got the wrong number" – you could actually tell I was in the area of Walking Street? [Bier Kutsche restaurant] How did you do that?? – and the time you 'knew' I was in Soi 13 too?… How, or 'why' did you do that??

L: [smiles] Oh easy, I use my friend's "Hutch" phone with their SIM, – it can tell me when [if]someone replies their [exact] location in and around Pattaya…. I did that many time before when with Stanley, to check about him…[laughs] Yes, I check him everywhere, where he go what he dooo, and I know he take lady many times even when together with me…. I cannot stop him, what can I do? I asked him; "Stanley, whatever you do ok, you can take lady, but not sleeping in 'our' bed okay, please??" You can use another bed [in the Condo] Two of my friends see him one night near Soi 7, – with a lady, and he take her home that night to our Condo….My [2] girl friends tell me….

Ling continues….

L: So, the next day I come home and I am very clean you know, always cleaning and tidying and I open the bed for change sheets, and what do I see?? Dirty marks, [semen stains] all over the sheets in our bed….I was soooo sooo angry, it made me crazy you know? My heart was hurting so so much he did that, – in 'our' bed together….in our Condo we share….

S: Hmm, it's a sad fact that many farang do that, they seem to think why live in Thailand and not have as many women as possible!…. It's interesting what you've said about that "Hutch" phone system though, 'useful' I suppose for philandering boyfriends to get found out with…but maybe brings trouble with it too. Some people simply don't liked been 'tracked' around like that, but it doesn't bother me too much [now] but could see that it could become a problem and may 'create' suspicion as well as 'douse it' and cause arguments…. Don't you think so??

S: You dress nicely, what did your ex-boyfriend tell you about dressing and what to wear Ling?

L: Him want me dress sexy, – like lady from "Walking Street" – you know, dress not have here and here [points to midriff and sides] and short, – very short but I not like…. I wear sometimes before, but never, not now….

S: Yess, I've seen some of those ladies you mention, only around "Walking Street" Very sexy but look, erm, well like streetwalkers….Have many many erm, customers….

Comment: ['Indigenous' to Walking St and South Pattaya are these types of 'street' girls, 'freelancers' and boy, do they ever, can they, look sexy? Buyer beware though, they're not checked for STD's by anyone so a Condom's positively essential survival gear…] Only Go-Go dancers in the more well established and run bars are checked for such and 'cleared' for work. Streetwalkers and Bar Bier Girls aren't and could potentially be STD 'carriers', – 'you' would be the first to know if they're 'carrying' anything nasty….

S: Did you sleep together in his Condo Ling, – I ask as he seemed a bit strange with you??

L: Yes, we did always except if he was drunk, then he sleep alone. When we sleep together I like to hold him, touch him and stroke him, aaaallll night if I could! "Keow!!" And him say; "F*** off Ling" "F*** off and go to sleep" he always tell me…. [smiles]


A new beginning….

Never far from any BG thoughts and imagination, is a new life, a new beginning, – no
longer 'selling their bodies', – but doing some business and finding a normal life. For many, only the farang represent any really tangible prospect of this, and is why so many Thai women 'gravitate' toward foreign men, or 'farang'… Ling was possibly no different and when asked, replied with the following: –

L: Ah, next month I will go to China… "Chengdu" for selling erm, what you say? Birds? Erm birds for racing, 'homing'….Piggon??

S: Pidgeons?? You're going to China to sell Pidgeons?? [smiles] What on earth Ling??

L: [laugh] Yes, that's right!!, – I will go to China to sell Pidgeons with my Boss from Belgium, and some friends, and we will stay about one month. Ohhhh, it's sooo cold there, we have to stand for hours and hours, – I am freezing and cannot feel my hands and feet sometimes!! It big business in China, but we must wait long time before selling enough birds. [Pidgeons] My boss will come to Thailand [from Europe] about January 26th and we will fly to China about the 28th from Bangkok. We stay in Hotel in Bangkok on the 26th and 27th, on Suriwong Road. My Boss and his friends like to look-look ladies along Suriwong, and in Pat Pong before we go.

S: You say you'll be away for one [whole] month Ling??

L: Yesss, and you [will] see, when I come back I will start business for myself, start my life new, like once before, you see?! My Boss says this trip will make good money and I want to change my life so much, I don't want to sell my body anymore….

S: Thank God you have another chance, another opening to earn money right?

L: Yes, my Boss is a good man, – he know about my problems [story] with Stanley and helping me, I meet him in Pattaya last year and he liked me. He has Wife and says he will never leave her, but he sends me 'naughty' SMS messages… About what he'd like to do to me but I scared for my heart…. I am scared I will get hurt, – I like him but have to keep thinking about the job, not him. I am afraid about that you know Simon? I need this money too, what I can do Simon?

S: Thinks: Hmmm, sounds like a gentle or subtle form of exploitation really, this situation she's getting into, but indeed, what can she do?? I'd advise her to go [to China] anyway, money is important and I have not known Ling long enough to dictate what she should or shouldn't do…. I can only give friendly advice, but if I thought something was dangerous or risky, I'd tell her for sure. But having said that, all associations with Thai women or BG's end up being just that, a form of exploitation, – sometimes cleverly reversed! Although I don't know this guy, he sounds like a good guy and wouldn't knowingly 'hurt' Ling, so I was happy enough with knowing that….

Although good, it kind of polarised for me the dilemma faced by so so many girls throughout Thailand, when it comes to money or nothing at all…. Ling's apparent loneliness and feeling of rejection from her ex played a part too, it was plain to see. Yeah, she felt rejected, I can tell rejection when I see it….

Ling's story is by far not "unique", – because I've heard countless stories of beatings and abuse meted out by their farang so-called "boyfriends", – losers, philanderers and misogynist's, control freaks or whatever, (??) who simply can't make it in their own countries, handing out domination and cruelty to their seemingly more submissive Thai spouses and mistresses…. It makes me sick sometimes, and there's a helpless feeling that goes with it, as to exactly 'what' Thai girlfriends will put up with, to stay in a nice Condo or house, with their abusive, sometimes violent farang boyfriends. As they often do also, with their [often] former Thai partners…. Just about every girl I've met has had a former Thai boyfriend who was an alcoholic or serial "butterfly" Thai women often claim 'farang men are better, nicer' – generally maybe this is true, but if statistical information could ever be collated, the results could be interesting. Fact; Most men going to Thailand do so because of some form of inadequacy probably in former relationships, or are simply unable to hold a relationship together for more than 5 minutes. They turn up in Thailand with various grudges and issues, and turn to the more submissive Thai female for respite, – only the Thai's aren't as 'submissive' as one is led to believe and will stand for only so much abuse, then watch out!! As the old saying goes, "You can beat the devil out, but you can beat another devil in all the same" – the devil you don't know….

It's not that Thai women are vindictive or 'evil' far from it, they're not, but consistent and habitual abuse has its price, and the Thai's when pushed to extremes, have infinite methods of taking or exacting revenge, and to a foreigner living in Thailand, this could mean a world of hurt…. This is when he finds he's out of his depth, when all his money and 'power' over his spouse mean nothing.

Ling was quite the warmest and most affectionate young women I have met in a long time, our evenings together talking and over dinner were quite uncommon to me and we became very close and good friends in what seemed an all too short a time together. Ling was perhaps the epitome that [some] women are, or can be, creatures of unlimited sexual desire and fulfillment… I once termed her as a "walking sexual volcano" and a proverbial molten cauldron of desire, – and still bare the scorch marks! She's very affectionate and likes to cuddle when sleeping, a source of constant annoyance to her former boyfriend! Seriously though, a warm and more lovely girl you will never meet. I [still] cannot understand how her former BF was so abusive and violent. I wonder too, how her boyfriend would stand up against another man, instead of beating up Ling as he did…. I would dearly like to meet him one day, and show him what it's like to be on the receiving end of such a beating, bring him on I say….

Ling later admitted to seeing her former [British] boyfriend Stanley again as he passed through Pattaya from the Middle East after I had long gone, and I could tell she still loves him deep inside, and that the impromptu meeting in Pattaya 'hurt' her….[again] As Ling said, Stanley likes to 'squeeze' her for every ounce of emotion on him, a truly wasteful thing to do as this guy is a capital Loser and waste of skin. Ling vowed never to see him after that but we'll see, and thanks God she went to China shortly thereafter, – and far away from his clutches….

Ling lives and stays in Pattaya, and has an immaculate apartment, a far cry from the usual chaos I've seen in the past for these girls. Everything is neatly in its own place, organisation is plainly evident in her flat, and spotless. The floor looked clean enough to eat off of! And clothes were again neatly arranged in a tidy wardrobe. A newish looking TV and midi stereo system took pride of place, and her bed was spotless and looked well groomed. I don't think I've met a tidier girl in Thailand, and she dresses to suit her nature. Quite a lovely young woman.

Note: "Farang" or foreigner is pronounced correctly as "Farr-ang" but as Thai's often can't pronounce their 'R's' the sound is often pronounced as "Fal-ang". Those nice little Thai phrase books we all buy will tell us to pronounce our 'R's' when most Thai's do not, or cannot… Those little phrase books will serve you well enough if talking to the King & Queen of Thailand, but won't help you in negotiating a bowel of noodles at 3am down on Soi 4 near NaNa Plaza!…. Only well spoken or well schooled Thai's bother pronouncing their 'R's'…. Hence the differing annotations above in the story.

Stickman's thoughts:

More magic from Simon Templar.