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Searching For Miss Goodbar – More Quest Continues



Searching for Miss Goodbar, the quest continues….
(aka new excerpts from the butterfly chronicles)

Last week as you recall, our saintly sinner took us into the private and painful world of a beaten and battered Pattaya bar girl, the memorable meeting of which took place after the one following now…. Ling's story as yet remains unfinished, and our intrepid hero awaits news from her in putting her life no less than heroically back together….

England's one and only Saintly Sinner's on the loose before this, this time our intrepid traveler takes us into the darkest bowels of Pat Pong's pivotal sin-bin, – "Kings Corner" nefarious, infamous? ill-reputed? you decide, – but our ecclesiastical traveler takes you inside, for another deliciously naughty but nice 'slice of life' – on the other side…. Feint of heart's or certified misogynist's should log off and leave now, – for other more discerning readers, ready to learn and glean, read on….

"Fa's story…." – Disclaimer

Names have been changed to protect the truly guilty or innocent but otherwise all comments remain as-was at the time, and beyond the bar profiling, gives a bar girl's impression of her work and her view toward farang along with some interesting insight into the bars themselves…. I do not necessarily support or condone the comments made within, and merely share them here for your information and amusement, but will let you the reader, be the ultimate judge.

Introduction: Profile of a Go-Go bar….

"King's Corner" Go-Go and [upstairs] Cocktail bar is on the corner as its name suggests, within Pat Pong opposite Music Cafe, [MC = formerly an "Asia Books" store] and boasts some of the most stunning [if not the tallest] looking, and extrovertist of girls, – and ahhh, lady-boys [Kai Toey's] and is one of Pat Pong 1's of King's 'group' run bars, along with neighboring King's [Beer] Garden, just adjacent to it. King's corner is a fast-moving bar, perhaps more 'buzzy' than some other bars whereby the lady-boy's do a fast brusque trade in rapid-fire bar fining and return…. The lady-boys dance more theatrically, energetically and provocatively than their female counterparts and colleagues, who take the stage at both same and separate times. You'll most often get a combination of [predominately] lady-boys with females towards the back, with the lady-boys taking front-stage. During 'shift change' or "crew change" as I call it, when a bevy of then all females will take over and are noticeably smaller [younger?] in stature than their lady-boy colleagues and almost 'comedic' spoils….

Females mix with lady boys almost seamlessly and seemingly without effort, mingling with customers alike, with customers entertaining a lady-boy one minute, then a female the next in an endless stream of women…. Lady boys are much different from their female counterparts in attitude, much more 'professional' and business-like in their full-on "in-yer-face" approach of 'get the farang'…. Some of the customers fondle lady-boys and girls in the same way, hardly seeming to even notice the change in gender. I seriously wonder sometimes if they even know the difference? Normally homo-phobic Japanese men and nouveau Samurai's pat, kiss, fondle and seem inscrutably oblivious to this fact, – but sure they know?? – coming over from PP II's bars and clubs?? Didn't anyone tell them? This could do irreparable harm to the emperor's divine image and lead to bouts of Hari-Kiri within Pat Pong surely!!

Entering through King Corner's front 'street' entrance, [has a side one too] one has to first penetrate the throng of leggy, tall, & G-Stringed beauty's that seemingly always congregate around the front doorway, maybe in the hope of snagging some unsuspecting male farang as he enters…? There's so many [real] girls and Kai-Toey's as for there to be not enough seats….With music belting out, a bevy of beautiful lady-boys take front-centre stage, and are the bars main 'attraction' and visual sales-pitch to meandering passers-by from outsides by now busy night market. Busy, overworked and sometimes temperamental Yellow or Red Blazoned waitresses whiz skilfully through the thongs of body's and legs, and hooked elbows, delivering trays of singular unspilt drinks to customers and girls alike. Customers at the very front bar crane their necks as the girls or lady boys tower over them, looking down at their quarry, – every lady boy has her attention firmly on her prey, never wavering for a mili-second, until she gets her deserved 'Cola' signal and more perhaps…. Females dance towards the dance floor's 'rear' or back end, some nonchalantly examining their fingernails in close detail, utterly lost in thought on family issues or ex boyfriends perhaps, some dancing more robotically and lazily than their more 'theatrical' and animated counterparts, those 'elite' Kai Toey's…. Suddenly, some young nubile female then makes a 'fix' on a customer, – eye contact is made and she gestures for him to buy her a drink… [he raises his glass to her] She smiles, and immediately steps gingerly down from the 'catwalk' to her new charge for the evening, and the promise of sex… as the usurped lady-boys look on.

The lady boys still look the part, tall, leggy and "beautiful" in a way, but narrow hips, large feet and hands give them away to the discerning male, where yet curvier, more enticing females are close at hand to allay any fears a man may have about becoming gay!….

Predator Versus Aliens….

Meanwhile the lady-boys are 'hustling' for business almost endlessly on the floor, circulating, 'draping' themselves over stools and tables beside unwitting customers, flamboyantly 'presenting' themselves unashamedly with their carnal intent…. 'Helloooo, how are yoooo?" they bill & coo in coarse dulcet tones, "Buy me Colaaah Na?" being their second opening gambit. They seemingly go from throwback to throwback effortlessly and relentlessly, not even batting a false eyebrow in their relentless quest for fast sex and money, not necessarily in that order. Not feeling any human rejection as such or "knock-back", – no pride to bruise here, only a tiresome 'delay' between their sexual and utterly predatory pursuits.

A lady boy often doesn't differentiate between nationalities or cultures, Western, Japanese, Chinese or Black, they're all fair game as far as she's concerned, anything with a penis is game for her/him. Lady boy's show a remarkable uncompromising and mercenary attitude towards sex and bar fines, devoid of any prejudice whatsoever, and seem to possess an unnerving lack of any 'taste' whatsoever for their prey, 'it' being just that, whether alien or not. She'll demonstrate unequaled, unparalleled focus, tact with little diplomacy, and no hint of racial bias in her seemingly unrelenting nightly quest. There is no other one hunter with more closely related hunting instincts than to that of seafairing Sharks perhaps, than a Kai Toey on the prowl…. One is almost forced to admire her, – her seemingly inpenetrable Rhinoceros-like hide against the nightly barrage of insults and degradation. It makes you wonder sometimes as to the tears she/he sheds in her private endless isolation, revulsion, ridicule and pain that we seldom see, nor most of us even care…. She only 'has' other Kai Toey's for friendship, consolation, – it is her domain. Some of the more moderate Kai Toey's do strike up 'sisterly' relationships with their all female bar girl counterparts, whom feel safe and unthreatened by their surrogate Kai Toey 'sisters' and sometimes mentor.

A man could be forgiven to becoming slightly confused at the gender wars paraded and fought out silently before him as ladies and lady-boys mix and mill between customers. Some females even see fit to openly 'declare' their sexuality to some newbie-looking customers for fear of being mistaken for a Kai Toey!…. Sorry to say, these girls will always be safely thought of as such in my opinion, for me, there's no mistaking a Kai Toey for a real [true] female no matter how stunningly beautiful he/she might be.

The females are definitely more laid back and at ease with their appearances and inherent sexuality, yes, they might lay their hands on you at first sight, but not all-out 'assault you' in the same way as [some] of the lady-boys might! Some time ago, a particularly horny looking lady-boy grabbed me once after fixing me with a barrage of glowering stares from the catwalk once in about 1998… Huh! – I was a 'goner' as far as she/he was concerned, and had little choice in the matter as she grabbed me, "positively went for my throat" putting her hand in my crotch. I found it really difficult to pause and drink my beer while someone was having simulated sex with me, and admittedly was duly aroused, – it can't be helped guy's! [Damn, she spilt my beer too!!]

Fortunately, an attractive female Saviour shortly thereafter saved me from a fate worse than death itself on the next dance round, seeing my plight, she literally hauled me off for some great passion and unforgettable times. Not only did I pay her Bar Fine, I paid it with maximum gratitude and relief! We kept in touch too for 3-4 years after that too, with her changing bars to KK 1 and 'redesigning' herself. I saw her [Noi] transform physically and mentally from demure sex kitten bar girl to tigress by the time she danced at KK 1's from King's Corner…

Bar life birth-pangs to sexual Super Trooper?

Redesigning herself?? I hear you say, what exactly does that mean? You must appreciate that girls when they start dancing and thereafter go through an enormous emotional and physical upheaval…. Suddenly they are akin to small-time movie stars in their own right, the subject of unrelenting, unfathomable male attention and unlimited adoration, whether rough or smooth. She's almost forced unnaturally through her sexual awakening, and suddenly she discovers a new found self confidence or even a misguided self worth, – although this might be tempered through bouts of severe depression and low self esteem. Individuals react differently, as the girls do, some relishing their newfound status as would-be sex-goddess's, but some gravitate inexorably toward an abyss of drugs and depression from which there is no recovery, and worst of all, no hope. Once shy retiring "country" girls with little or no sexual experience or 'mileage' at all are mercilessly thrust into a lurid neon lit limelight of sleaze, 24hr sex rock'n roll & drugs, – it's sink or swim, simple as that…

Metamorphosis….

On finding their 'newfound sexuality', whether favorably or not, rookie BG's go through various physical and mental transformations, some truly painful, from demure, beguiling sex-kitten to predatory tigress and ruthless huntress's within one year or less….

Her now salon-manicured hands & feet, up to her facial make-up now tempered, styled, molded and honed to battle-readiness by friends and mentors. Her once gentle teenage supple, yet soft body, a thing of the past, case-hardened to a supreme lythe firmness by relentless dancing… Her tummy 'flattened' and honed to a sheer, almost unnatural perfection that could support an upturned coin, and subtle curves to die for…. She'll spend endless hours dancing, often scrutinising out of boredom, her own inimitable technique in the surrounding strategically placed wall mirrors and their reflections… "Self adoration" is never far away from these would-be queens, at least it fends off the hours of relentless tedium and boredom and gives her a kind of 'hope' of future partnership and coupling, – she's becoming an 'asset' to the bar too.

She'll suddenly start wearing her [outside] clothes differently, becoming sexually self-aware, adorning herself more provocatively with tighter, shorter skirts, tighter figure hugging jeans, low-cut tank-tops, and may attain the uniform of the hooker. She'll begin to wear her hair differently, but endless broken promises, lies and deceit compound her still born dreams, and her femininity slowly 'dies' in a way, 'replaced' by something else now she's become a 'commodity' – an 'asset' and something to be sought after, she's developed state of the art acting skills too that would make Sharon Stone blush with envy.. Some girls learn to tell a litany of complex lies as if to breathe, and as believable and as casually as tossing away a chewing gum wrapper….

Even her facial appearance might change subtly yet noticeably to her family, even her actual physique….Again molded and shaped by relentless hours of working and dancing along with strenuous activity, even wild wild sex…. Smoking, drugs, endless hours working, heightened sexual activity and her new-found false 'high life' take their subtle toll on her. Once fresh young faces become etched with the tiny tell-tale lines of stress in early 20's, – pinched and taught skinned faces tell of a hard unrelenting lifestyle, – a meteoric rise to adulthood and beyond without equalised emotional maturity, it's no wonder some BG's burn-out before hitting 27 and are 'obsolete' by 30…

Her 'personality' will undergo changes too of course, going through its own subtle yet painful, irreversible form of metamorphosis, until soon she merely resembles that 'shy girl' from her village or province, only to return one day, as if some absurd homecoming queen, bestowed with all the virtues of her existence in the murky shadows of Bangkok's underbelly and the endless movies she's seen. Absorbing elements of a decadent & jaundiced westernised life almost as if by osmosis through her near proximity and experiences with farang….

Her hidden, most secret garden?….

A bar can simply mean 'everything' for a girl as she slowly, inexorably, becomes hooked on the intoxicating fast living lifestyle or existence, the sheer Adrenalin rush coupled with the compressed camaraderie and near incestuous secret-sisterhood she never had, – her former sexual abuse at the hands of so-called Fathers or parental guardians now a distant, if painful memory. Memories will always still haunt her nonetheless, manifesting themselves in sudden inexpicable bouts of low esteem and depression. This coupled with her existence and frequent abandonement from Thai and farang boyfriends alike, can at times, lead to roller-coaster like imbalances in her pride and self esteem, especially when coupled with drug taking, alcohol or menstrual cycles, or "Men" as referred to. (Hmmm, 'Men' spk Thai for Menstruation? – maybe there's an in- joke in there somewhere?)

Some survive, and become better, almost 'recover', while as aforementioned, others 'fail', – stumble along their tortured way and trip as they look heavenward on the loose rocks and plummet into that bottomless abyss. Some girls while 'alive' and exuberant in their Bar may allow their semi-stage persona to 'evaporate' upon leaving the confines of the bar, becoming sullen and quiet with their customer/s. It's almost as if they've left their personalities behind, inside that particular bar, – where it merely dwells inside for paying onlookers only to witness, – and when outside for some, they will positively never see her "secret garden" – her true, inner and more natural self….

So many times you will see a Thai girl and farang sitting somewhere outside, looking bored, both staring off or up into different spaces, lost in their thoughts, – distant poles apart in mind and body, two universes in temporary 'flux' the night before and now light years apart. I think sometimes in this instance, they should say their goodbye's, and part for another time. Another timed 'collision' another place as it's painfully obvious to any casual observer there's often little or nothing in common with most "couples" after the sex part.

The aggressive side of tipping….

King's Corners outside male and female touts proudly display "No cover charge" unlike the upstairs and oft best-avoided bars. Surely enough, K'sC doesn't charge for such, but charges are usually 'built-into' drinks costs and services, so it all balances out for the bar. "Tipping" is virtually 'compulsory' in King's Corner, as it is in other bars throughout PP, doubly so at KK-3 where lady-boys dictate the theme. Reluctance to tip will result in a very un-Thai frown or scowl and a none-too complimentary sideways glare, notably from the sometimes sullen and overworked waitresses. Return change is always deliberately broken down into small denominations and lots of loose coinage, to 'encourage' you to tip before the tray is 'snatched' away before you change your mind….! This is the aggressive and 'negative side' of tipping whereby tips are expected, almost mutely 'demanded' – and by the lady boys too… Spend ANY appreciable time talking with a lady-boy and she/he will ask for a tip if you don't Bar-Fine her/him, – aaaand it had better not be an 'embarrassingly' loss-of-face amount, – saaay, something between 200-500 Baht! Lady-boys frankly are quite mercenary and in-your-face with what they want, 'sex for money' no frills and they want it now or "sawasdee krup" [goodbye] and no thank you…. lady-boy's have little or no taste and sensitivity, and will graphically explain to you what he/she will do to you in the Hotel bedroom or short-time "flop-hotel" within 1 minute of encountering her…. I guarantee you!

So, how much then? (The price of love??)

King's Corner's bar-fines are as set as 'standard' currently, which is 500 Thai Baht, "Girlie drinks" or Cola's are set at 90 Baht a throw as is Singha beer, – Heineken's come at a more "reassuringly" higher price of [about] 150 Baht, (?) Bacardi Breezers 240 Thb or so. [Prices may vary around PP!] Girls when asked about their ahem, own 'fee' can sometimes be coy, if not illusive, but 1,500 Baht is the bar-induced benchmark for short time, and is the 'norm'…. All the girls and lady-boys alike are supposed to charge the same, it's universally accepted and a rule to eradicate confusion or "elitism" among girls, but some girls will ask for more from a "newbie" – they'll 'try it on' for sure, particularly the more up-front Kai Toey's. Credit Cards are accepted, but remember the Wife might see the slips back home in Farangland and all hell will break loose… Besides this obvious 'peril' Credit Cards are notoriously easy to duplicate, and the card can be taken out of your sight for some time when paying, and you seldom see where it goes, – normally, to another bar entirely which has an EFTPOS facility or card-swipe machine…. Ill advised really in all…. There's a nasty rumour going around the girls themselves are developing credit card-like 'swipe' facilities between their legs as an evolutionary side-effect but I have yet to see proof of this…. Cash is still King around here and speaks volumes and will for years to come.

Customer's can pay tips on top of what they pay a girl or lady-boy, they're the same, or just give the girl/lady-boy 2,000 Baht and be done with it, for a short time hourly+ session. Going to one of the abundant short-time Hotels that await nearby, or "upstairs" as the girls and lady-boys infer, can cost as much as 800 Baht for one hour, with laundered double beds, clean towels and condoms thrown in, but 800 Thb is 'high' on top of all other 'costs' and can lead to some expensive encounters for the sexually frustrated and perverted! [Viagara disciples watch out?!] Provide you're not excruciatingly embarrassed by your mini-skirted huge silicon-ed titty 'lady' friend, your own Hotel is by far the best and most relaxed safe option. There's no need to keep your hand firmly on your wallet, Rolex wristwatch and genitals, – although not necessarily in that order. This is 'provided' you have an agreement with your Hotel and will not be charged extra for appearing with another unregistered, additional guest, as some Hotel's 'clearly exploit' this guest related weakness….

If the girl stays overnight, she may well stick you for a hefty 4,000 Baht in the morning over Breakfast and might give you mild indigestion, so best 'agree' on a fee before settling down for the night. Some girls will not ask… Really, some will or cannot ask, – it's considered rude un-Thai, and anyway, it WAS supposed to be the prerequisite, to pay when in the bar before?

Never, never avoid paying, it's bad bad bad, bad for her, after all she's only providing a service for which you heartily agreed upon, and if you think you're 'above' paying think again, you're not and this will be the worst 'insult' to the girl you could deliver whether unwittingly or not, even IF she genuinely likes you…. Anyone who's of the macho-istic opinion "they've never pay for it and never will" – are sadly deluding themselves….

What's in a name then?

All girls will have abbreviated nicknames, in some cases 'adopted' when they takes up jobs in the bar, – names that seldom exceed three roman alphabet letters, such as Lek, Tik, Fan, Pu, Bu, Pia, Wun, Wan etc, etc. All girls will have long unpronounceable Thai family names which is why the nickname aka "stage name" is adopted. A name they use themselves as much as we do. Thai soften do not pronounce their 'R's' and sometimes names are easily mispronounced such as "Rose" transpires to "Lose" which sounds like 'loose' to the untrained ear….! The nicknames are in kind a 'stage name' as the girls will do everything to disguise their identity from prying and pias family member, otherwise ignorant of their 'profession' All BG's will have assigned numbers to them which they retain from the day they join a bar to the day they leave, or are replaced, and this is a handy means of identification, both for the bar management, other staff and customer, due to sometimes high turnover. A girl sometimes to avoid undue attention will randomly change her nickname, but cannot change her number… It's the only 'sure' way of relocating a girl is by her often red plastic circular number tag, it's her only real 'true' identity throughout her bar 'career'

It's not uncommon either for say, three different farang to know a girl by three different names, especially if she has multiple sponsors and has to 'juggle' them, and she'll keep an immaculate infallible diary as to their arrival dates and itineraries. If she keeps asking you; "When you come to Thailand again my big honey??" this could possibly be a sign she's pouring over her diary, carefully marking off your arrival dates against that of another sponsor's arrival, hoping against a 'conflict' of arrivals. Frequent confirmations too are required so as she doesn't make a mistake….

Lady-Boy Doll anyone?….

I'm sure if anyone marketed a lady-boy wind up Doll, it would say, Hellooo, my name Barbeee, I go with youooo?" Dispensing will all other greetings and pleasantries! It'd be a hot seller maybe, if not amongst the lady-boys themselves no doubt. Lady boys love sending themselves up and I think see themselves as actresses or similarly to Clowns, with their own individuality and show case style. Lady boys are one of the few groups that knows each other's names and even whereabouts, they are like a community within a community, a 'clan' of sorts

For me, nothing or no one can replace or compare to the [true] the female gender, and immediately as they sit with you, you can sense their more 'relaxed' demeanor [With few exceptions] but the women [true women] sit with you and are infinitely more relaxed and laid back about their 'needs' or their 'sexuality'. Some will proudly 'differentiate' themselves from their lady-boy colleagues when asked, but tensions lie not too far underneath and are strictly for the changing rooms, [luckily] never, never the bar itself…. The "changing rooms", – that holy place where lipstick and venom are applied in the same doses and where catty and bitchy comments abound. Trust me, "there's nooo bitch quite like a lady-boy bitch", – nothing can compare. Amid the bikini clad beauties and genders jostling for space in front of the mirrors, tension lurks amid the seemingly friendly "combatants" – exchanging superficial pleasantries which sometimes overspills into outright jealous hostility.

Lady-boys do not take kindly to being usurped by their younger female counterparts and are fiercely, "territorial" pack-hunters generally, or 'Beta hunters'….

Interview with the vampire….

On entering King's Corner, I never sit 'at' the front stage bar, but always prefer, even politely 'insisting' on sitting at the back of the bar, for a much better vantage point and view of the stage or "catwalk" overall. You are less exposed here, and can sit back and take in the view without being too much in the line-of-sight of the girls, hawking down at you near the front. The light is more in your favour, you can see them but they can't see you nearly as well, – better this way and you're less likely to get 'mobbed' by girls there.

Mulling over the obligatory lady-boys vying their trade as they always do at front centre catwalk, I mulled the lovely looking ladies dancing more reservedly towards the back of the catwalk and was transfixed by a lovely looking girl, not very tall, but very curvy, looking over my head to some people opposite me. she was a joy to watch, even though not dancing very much, just shuffling, holding onto her pole, she suddenly notices me looking at her, glances away, the looks back again smiling….

She's a really cute looking beauty and already I can feel the devil in me rising to the challenge as she fixes me with her lovely almond shaped Coal-black eyes, which to me resemble warm and balmy pools of liquid at night, gazing gently outward from what looks to be a lovely Thai-Chinese porcelain complexion. She's more and more gorgeous as i look on, my mind is by now subconsciously taking stock of her looks, 'cataloging' her attractive assets, drawing back on past long forgotten experiences, an animal almost medieval instinct almost takes me over, – I'm smitten….

Like some Anime-babe, she's beautifully even exquisitely proportioned, so soft and yet shapely firmness against pale-skinned loveliness, her aloofness yet attentive gaze drives my hormones to go on automatic overdrive, – signals even I can't comprehend register their well targeted impact on my face as her smile broadens to a look of acknowledge and mutual acceptance…. she nods. She then turns briefly to a friend and playfully nudges her, pointing over to me her 'conquest' and smiling, upon which her friend nods her obvious approval and gives a 'thumbs up' signal to her, then me. "Black-eyes" smiles warmly at me, her red tag number # 67 just visible on her white bikini bottom, and gestures [politely] for a drink…. I smile and gesture her to approach, and beckon her. Immediately she stops dancing and leaves her pole, stepping down and walking over, putting out her hand to shake mine as we greet.

S: Sawasdee Miss Hok Sip Jet? Sabai dee mai? [Hello No # 67*, how are you?] Don't ask, I've changed the number for guarding her identity!

Fa sits down beside me, politely smiling to a Japanese guy to allow her more room to sit next to me, – he politely obliges and moves further along the bench seating….

S: Hi, what's your name? [Ordering a Cola for her, a prerequisite to some discussion]

F: My name "Fa" [smiles, shakes my hand] – same-same like 'smile' of the face you know? She smiles and her coal black eyes smile with her, she's beautiful and this girl could be the one for me tonight….

S: H, H, How long you working here Fa? [Dancing] And where are you from [I know from Thailand!] What name is your village?

F: I work now [King's Corner] for 3…maybe [counting her fingers] 4 months now, not long time…my country? – I from Isaan area, you know area Surin?

S: [Ahh, an Isaan girl methinks] Only 3-4 months here [I doubt that maybe..] and your English is very good, [considering] did you dance somewhere before?? [She's 'experienced' and speaks English quite well, – she must've I thought….]

F: No, I work supermarket before, you know? I like talk to farang many times too, "yak yak yak, hellooo how are you!" I liked that and then one day my friend asking me about dancing, so I try one year before, at another bar but stop after 4 weeks, I did not like…so stop. [at first] Now I try again, in here, – now nearly 4 months in King's Corner….

S: That farang over there seems unhappy about something to do with his bill… He's arguing with the Mamasan, – maybe he's been made to pay too much?? That lady-boy with him looks very erm, 'guilty!'

F: Our boss says it's okay to put extra drink chits into customers cup on table, but if customer look 'difficult' then not to make problem. Sometimes customer doesn't know or care if drunk [Khi mao] but I don't like this, it not fare. But sometimes lady-boy do this when customer not looking, she/he put another drink chit inside his cup for check-bill…. You see, each lady get 30 Baht for each drink she get from customer, so its her [interest] to get extra money. Sometimes she put extra chit inside from another lady, for helping her, – it all adds up by the end of the night if they can do this.

S: Yes, well, – had always suspected that, – I don't think I have ever had it done to me…well maybe one or two times, and I seldom take time to add up all my check-bills all the time every time, so I am sure sometimes I've been caught out. If I suspected something odd, I would argue or dispute it, not what some farang suggest to ditch the chits somewhere, that's dishonest on me. I know it did happen to me once in Camelot when we got a little drunk one night, – I think a few girls and hangers-on-ers put their drink chits inside my check-bill cup….

F: Yeees, suuure, you can be sure they did…. Lady-boy like to do this when customer drunk many times, they not care about that. Not 'all' customer, only if customer look 'easy' or sabai sabai too much, like "Khi mao" [Drunk]

S: And there are many lady-boys in here though right? About 50% of the dancers are Kai Toey's right?

F: [smiles wryly] I am not supposed to tell you but yes, [pause] – sure, you know right, you come to Bangkok many time[s]?, [as] you come to BKK many times, but yes, sure, have many lady-boy's here. Some very very beautiful and sexy na? Usually, we are not allowed to talk about that [them] it's 'policy' IF customer asking, we cannot say…we change subject of talking or something, but cannot cannot say…. If customer doesn't know, then we not tell him/them.

S: Do you ever get bored with sex [make love] all the time?? Many ladies do….

F: Yes sure, sometime, but you know I like 'feeling' with customer, it's better that way, if I not have some good feeling or don't like customer, I never go [with him] that's boring for me and I not like. To have feeling is much better for me, – and you right??

S: Touche'!! Yes, of course, if the girl doesn't enjoy, or seem to enjoy it, then neither do I. When this happens, I will never see that girl again, or 'change lady' as you say around here…?

F: Yes, many customer change lady, change lady, can make problem sometime if customer do this is same bar, – girl get jealous you know, – fighting [boxing] sometime, – even scratching! I see lady boy boxing lady one time about this, lady's eye [out] like this, black colour after… Customer do not care about this though, – he never see.

S: But the sex thing must get boring too much, all the time?

F: I not go with customer every day, mmmm, maybe 12 times a month maybe? About that and have salary too, so not too bad, "so-so" you know? And you know, some lady here pay them self for sex too….? Yes, sometimes boring, it depends on customer, but me I only go with customer I like, or have some 'good' feeling….

S: Oh, what do you mean about ladies who 'pay' for sex? [obviously not with farang!!]

F: Some lady or lady boy when have money pay for sex… They go somewhere [I cannot tell you] where have Thai man and pay for sex after work, or when they bar fined….

S: That's odd, [ironic] you mean dancers here or anywhere paying for sex with Thai men in another bar somewhere in Bangkok?? I've never heard that before, maybe I'd vaguely suspected it happens before, – but never heard it first-hand before!….

F: Yes, sure, it happen, many lady like that and go, can drinking, smoking yar bar there, do anything for enjoy then have sex, – but pay too….

S: [Comment] (This facet about Thai Go-Go dancers paying for their own sex with Thai men was later concurred with by my long-term Kiwi ex-pat friend who runs a Hotel on Suriwong and he indicated where this takes place, but for various reasons I will not divulge here) I told him I was doing some 'field work' at which he laughed out loud, and slapped me on the back, – he then bought me a drink!

S: Your English is very good, – you said you only spoke a 'littun' [little] when we met?

F: Oh, its not so good but I 'listen' you know, and thinking oh, that means that or this, – mmm, I take in data and…

S: Data? [laughs]

F: Yes, is that not right? "Data" is like computer right? same-same like 'information' – to take in data right?? I look listen, and think ahhh that no good what she do, or ahhh, that okay and I copy this….Different situations I see….

S: Yes, "Data" certainly 'is' the right word, but an 'interesting' choice of words! You have a very "analytical" and inquisitive mind…you process your thoughts and all information well.

F: Yes, but I want to speak English well for good feeling and can speak with customer, – I can know if they good man or not too from what they speak….

S: Yes, a very good first line of 'defense' – do you ever feel 'bad' about some customer? Like if he is a good man or not, – do you ever get afraid to go with anyone for some reason??

F: Yes, sometimes, and I don't like man too much like this [touching, feeling] when I sit down, not like some lady like this, I don't like that, this is not good for Thai lady to see that, but some lady don't care about this. I look his eyes, good or not, many things I look for and decide if okay or not, but up to me, I will not go together with customer if I not like….

F: Ohh look, farang lady over there, very sexy na? [Comment: – Many Thai women revere, even "idolize" attractive western women, and 'know' instinctively whether attractive or not, – similarly as western women are only too aware of Thai women's sexuality and attractiveness?]

S: Mmmm, yes she is, but you know 'farang ladies' don't 'do' much for me, – I like Asian ladies better and don't like the way most farang women dress here, – too casual by far… [An attractive western girl & boyfriend have come into KC for a little cheap titillation….]

F: Yes, she look sooaye na? – but most, errr, well, sometimes, some farang look very 'cheap chalee' not dress good but don't you think that lady is beautiful??

S: Yes, – and no, – I'm just no longer attracted to 'western' women anymore, for many reasons I just simply cannot explain to you. In 'simplistic' [simple] terms, they talk too much, too 'strong' and 'controlling', – too too career minded and overly self obsessed. [Think about them self only] Not take care [of man] same-same Thai ladies, not take care their man the same, only 'me me me' I cannot explain properly, but when I see western women in Thailand, I hardly 'notice' them. I think many farang men are the same, they don't care about western women when here in Thailand…. Sure, Thai ladies need money, – but western ladies need much much more!!

S: Pausing for a drink…. Erm,anyway, – who's asking the questions around here eh? [smiles]

F: [looking quizzical] How long you stay in Bangkok already? I think you stay 2 weeks more right after what you say before? I want to stay and spend time with you….

S: Two weeks, [already] + two weeks more yet, and I will go to Pattaya for a few days, leaving on [Jan] 03rd.

F: Ahh, you take me Pattaya with you okay?? [smiles and cuddles up to me]

S: Ohhh, [smiles] nooo, must go alone this time okay? [These girls are so 'cut and dried' and simple in their needs aren't they?]

F: Pleeese, I go to Pattaya with you?? Yes? [bats eyebrows] Have no customer here, look, very quiet…. We have fun last night right? Customer here old, not have new customer only people stay long time Thailand…. did you enjoy last night eh? I do good for you na?? [Wicked smile, clinks glasses together]

S: Don't remind me, you almost killed me last night! [Thinking] If I had a free Beer for every time I've heard this one about '"have no customers", I'd be permanently sozzled and on my 2nd Liver by now, – these girls are always claiming "very quiet, – have no customer" Why?? I suspect the truth lies between how the bars are run and the girls…. In spite of earlier closing times, the girls still don't show up enforce until about 20:00-21:00pm, whether out of some die-hard tradition or laziness is unascertained, henceforth the 'customers' don't bother turning up before these times because they know the bars will be 'dead' quiet or full of only 'young rookies'. This has a knock-on effect to overall nightly attendance, where it's almost a "hell for leather" until 01:00am. Customers feeling more 'pressured' are less likely to Bar Fine a girl, for fear of making a tactical 'mistake' in their choice under time constraints, and therefore are sometimes less likely to bar fine….[Theory]

S: (Answering Fa's claim there's 'no' customers) Well, who are all those many Japanese men and farang sitting over there, cardboard cut-outs? [joking/smiling] (Admittedly the young Japanese guy with the bright yellow dyed hair with pink highlights was off putting in the extreme all shabbily dressed….) Maybe Fa had a point….

(The place looks busy enough to me, but the girls see differently it seems, and go on customer bar-fine potential only, and newbies)

F: I don't like Japanese man very much, some girl do but not me. We have many Japanese customer here, but come only looking…. I don't like "chocolate man" either, never go together.

Comment: (I've heard this analogy many times, it's a sad fact that [some] Thai BG's shy away from coloured guy's, for reasons I am uncertain of, but have heard this all too many times from different girls. They might possibly be confusing some African's though with Black Americans, which is unfortunate.) I'm sure they won't or simply don't differentiate always.

S: Hmmm 'fussy' eh? Well that's good in ways, at least you have standards!

F: So when we go to Pattaya then eh?? [Gazing into my eyes]

S: Oh Fa, – wouldn't you rather just have a Cola instead??

The above conversations took place over a few days, and has been 'compressed' and abbreviated into seemingly one flowing conversation for ease of printing. ST.

Stickman's thoughts:

More magic from Simon Templar.