Love In Phuket Part 2
By Oxford Student
A few months ago, I wrote in with a story titled “Love in Phuket” which Stickman posted on 8/12/2004. This update refers to that story. When I wrote in, I was unsure if my lovely Thai girlfriend May was cheating on me or not. I had suspicions that she was taking advantage of me, treating me like a walking ATM from abroad. I was sending her 10,000 baht per month, quite a lot for someone on a teacher’s salary in South Korea, thus the reason for my previous post.
I received about a dozen emails from people all over the world in response to my story. A few of them did no more than mock me and call me names, but many were very sincere, and to those of you I thank you for taking the time to respond and to give me advice. There were also a few people who thought that my story couldn’t possibly be true, that I had fabricated it just to fool Stick and the community that reads the stories on his site. I guarantee that this is not the case. Every word of my story is true. Why would I spend time writing a story of fiction and then ask for advice? Believe me, I have better things to do with my time.
The majority of the people who wrote to me advised me to leave this girl because she was obviously taking advantage of me. I shouldn’t even think about marrying her, and I would be a fool to let this go on. A woman even wrote to me and told me that she had spent time talking with bar girls in Thailand and they revealed to her the tricks they play on unsuspecting farangs. Many of these girls have several sponsors all around the globe who have no clue about the others. My girl is not a bargirl, but she is/was a prostitute. But I think what really clinched it was reading Stephen Leather’s Private Dancer. I sat glued to my computer screen for 2 days (sometimes during work) reading this fascinating tale. Although Leather’s novel is a work of fiction, I found myself really identifying with the character of Pete, and Joy very well could have been my girlfriend May. Joy was saying many of the same things that May has said to me whenever I suspected her of seeing other guys. Things like “I love you only one” and “I love you 100%” and “I stay with you long time. I don’t go look someone else.” One point that Joy makes in the novel is that “It’s so easy with farangs. They want to believe you, you just have to tell them what they want to hear.” The rose shaded glasses were slowly coming off and reality was now in full view. I finally decided to end it with May.
When I told her that I wasn’t going to be sending her any more money, she did what any Thai girl in her position would do. She tried to convince me to change my mind by telling me that she loved me and begging me to help her. “I always love you. Why you not love me?” When she finally realized that I really wasn’t going to be sending her any money, things turned rather nasty. All of a sudden, this sweet girl whom I had grown to know and love was yelling at me through the telephone: “Fine! I don’t want to talk with you anymore. Don’t call me. Bye!” A week goes by without talking, and she calls me up, telling me that she loves me again. “I love you long time. Do you love me?” “Yes, I still love you.” “I don’t believe. I think you love me little bit.” Well, this goes on for a few minutes until she asks me for money again, with the same response and the same result.
Now I had purchased a ticket to Thailand a few months before (that’s the way you have to do it in South Korea, otherwise you’ll be freezing your ass off during vacation), and still planned on going. She knows this, and a few days before I leave, she starts calling me again. “You come to see me?” “Do you want me to come and see you?” “Up to you.” Now, she still had some of my stuff that I left there during my last visit (clothes, mp3 player) that I really wanted, so I decided that I would see her when I touched down in Phuket. Besides, she is fun to hang out with.
I touch down on Phuket and take a taxi to Patong. I rent out a room in a guest house and start to walk around. It had been over a month since the Tsunami hit the beaches of Thailand, and they’ve done a pretty good job at cleaning it up. Or just hiding the damage. Flowers line the beach of Patong, and as I walked around, I noticed big fences along the strip hiding the ruined buildings and the rubble. There are absolutely no street vendors on the main strip of Patong, and only one bar is open. It’s like a ghost town. Walking a few blocks inland, bars and street vendors are in full swing, but most are not as crowded as they should be during this time of year. The Holiday Inn has a huge fence around it and a sign: “Closed for Maintenance” in English, not Thai. People are still on the beach and walking around, but it’s just not the same as it was a few months ago.
I meet up with her in Patong and she gives me a huge hug and kisses me. She’s thrilled to see me after all this time. We first go and eat dinner, and then go back to the hotel room. Now it was actually quite difficult to have sex with her at first. I’ll spare you the graphic details, but it was very clear that she had not had sex in a very long time. Perhaps she was telling the truth and wasn’t cheating on me after all. We spent the whole week together, and overall we had fun, although we did have a few arguments.
The second day we went out with this other couple (both Thai), Sam and A. Sam is A’s husband, but A has at least two boyfriends. No one has any problem with this, least of all Sam. A has one boyfriend who lives in Miami. He’s very rich and bought her breast implants a few months back (45,000 baht). Her other boyfriend lives in Germany. They both send her money every month. We go out to lunch at a place overlooking Kamala Beach Absolutely beautiful. In the middle of lunch, A’s phone rings. It’s her boyfriend from Germany, and they get into an argument. Everyone thinks this is hilarious, for some reason. I only mention this because Sam will come into play in a minute. After lunch, we all go for a sauna at this nice hotel near Kamala. We spend a few hours there relaxing, swimming, taking saunas, and of course eating more Thai food. I look over at May and see her sending a text with her phone. When I attempt to look over, she immediately closes her phone like she’s trying to hide something. I wave it off as nothing, but I’m intent on looking at her phone later. We go to bed that night, and in the morning we are both woken up by her mobile. As she answers, she looks at me and tells me to keep quiet. Then she starts talking to somebody on the other end of the line in English. I’m only half awake, so it takes me a bit to realize what’s going on. She goes outside to talk so I can’t hear the conversation. But I sneak outside and overhear the conversation on the steps.
“Don’t worry, honey. I love you and I miss you.”
<makes kissing sounds>
“Yes, I love you. I talk to you later.”
I then go back inside the room and start packing my stuff. I’m ready to leave and I don’t ever want to see her again. She comes in, asks me what I’m doing, and I tell her that I heard her entire phone conversation. She starts making excuses, like he’s only a friend, that she loves me, blah blah blah.
“If he’s a friend then why did you tell him that you love him and you miss him?”
“I don’t mean it. I love only you. He only friend.”
Now she’s grabbing my arms trying to stop me from packing up my stuff. She begs me to stay, to believe her, to trust her. I don’t know what it was, but she finally convinced me to stay. After all, what else am I going to do? Samui is too packed with tourists right now because everyone is afraid to go to Phuket due to the Tsunami and the damage. So I decide to stay. And who knows? Maybe this guy is just a friend (yeah, right). She says that he was here only one day and that they didn’t have sex; they just talked.
Well, that night, she was taking a late nap and I decide to go for a walk. I take her phone with me. I spend the next hour or so looking through her phone and reading ALL of her text messages. Now she has messages primarily from two guys. I’ll even use their real names: Colin the cocksucker and Jarvis the jerkoff. I read messages from these guys and they are obviously both in love with her. Here are some exerpts:
“I love you, you crazy girl. What are you doing tonight?”
“I miss you, May. Money is low right now, sorry.”
“I want to hold you tight. I’ll see you very soon.”
I not only read all of the messages from them, but also the messages that she sent to them:
“I miss your body. I want to fuck you.”
“Meet me at Baya Beach at 1:00”
“Where are you? I want to fuck you now.”
“I want to have your baby.”
“What hotel you stay at?”
“You number one. You want to fuck me tonight?”
“Can you send me money tomorrow?”
There are also numerous messages from her with the account number of her bank.
Now I’m really pissed. I understand that I broke up with her (kind of) and she’s free to date other guys, but the fact that she lied about it is what annoys me. Now I know that she’s Thai, and the word truth isn’t a part of her vocabulary (neither is monogamy, apparently), but I guess I just expected more from her. Yesterday she was telling me that she loved me and that I was the only one, and now it’s very obvious that there are at least two guys that she’s been seeing. So I go back to the hotel room to confront her. But I don’t. I just lay the phone right next to her head with one of the messages from her to Colin, told her that she lied to me, and left. I go get a massage and calm down a bit, then I go walking on the strip. As I’m walking, I see Sam, A’s husband, on his motorbike. He asks me what the matter is, and I told him that May’s been lying to me and seeing other men. “You wanna drink some beer with me?” he asks. I said sure and we buy some beer at 7-11 across the street. Sam and I go up to his room (A was fast asleep in bed, naked), and start drinking while watching music videos on tv. It turns out Sam owns his own bar in Patong. He’s actually a pretty cool guy. Funny, too. We didn’t have a bottle opener so he opens the bottles with his teeth, a skill I hope I never acquire. I start telling him about her lies to me and he just tells me to calm down. “She loves only you. She only want to stay with you and no one else.” He tries to convince me that even though she may be talking to other guys, she really does love me. She cried for weeks when I last left her and she talks about me all the time. Well, I kind of believe him. But there’s still no excuse for her to lie to me. I go upstairs and sleep. May cuddles up next to me. I’m reluctant at first, but I really don’t have the energy to fight.
The next day, May acts as if nothing has happened. I try several times to talk to her about it, but she just brushes it off. Finally, as we’re about to go out that night, I tell her that we need to talk. This is the last thing she wants to do, but I tell her that we’re not doing anything until we talk this out. It takes about 20-30 minutes, but I finally get her to admit that she lied to me. I’ve pinned her on the bed so that she can’t run away.
“Did you have sex with those other guys?”
“How many boyfriends do you have right now?”
“Three.” (including me)
“Do you love them?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you love me?”
“Yes. I love you.”
That’s about all I got out of her….finally. She wiped her tears, then we were ready to go out. Even though I didn’t like what I heard, I was satisfied to finally hear the truth from her. For the rest of the week, I kept her phone so that we wouldn’t get into any more arguments. We really had a great time. We spent the week eating all kinds of Thai food, sleeping together, going out to different clubs and bars, taking saunas, and even going up into the high points of Phuket where there is some spectacular scenery. I do believe that she loves me, and she even told me that she wants to marry me. I cannot marry her. Well, at least not until she changes some of her ways. She has made some changes in these last months, though. She got a job at a salon, she moved into a cheaper apartment with a friend, and she doesn’t hang out with any loser friends anymore. A, her best friend, despite what she’s doing with the American and the German, is a good friend. She even paid for a lot of the meals when we went out together. When I left I gave her 11,000 baht, and she was very sad to see me go. I can’t go back until my contract here is up in 7 months.
I flew back to South Korea and was greeted by freezing temperatures. If you’re ever thinking of coming here, don’t. We are now in our 4th month of winter. The food is horrible, the people all have frowns on their faces, and NO ONE speaks English, which makes teaching feel like an exercise in futility. I have been pushed out of the way, laughed at, mocked at and pointed at, and stared at with disdain as I walk down the sidewalk. The money is very good, but living here is not. The entire country reeks of fish, and as I walked to work this morning, I had to dodge about 20 spit pancakes on the ground. Everywhere you turn people are spitting. Luckily, I haven’t been hit…..yet.
Anyway, for the first couple of days our phone conversations were okay. But she was going out clubbing with her friends every night. Every time I would call her she would be in some bar. So last night she finally phoned me and she was in her apartment. I’ve been gone a week, and already the money I gave her is gone. She has 1,000 baht left. She asked me for 4,000 baht, and she wants me to send her 10,000 baht every month. I refused. I don’t even have that much money right now since I spent so much of it in Thailand. She does not understand this. She thinks that the fact I can’t send her money means that I don’t love her anymore. The truth is I do love her. Perhaps not as much as before, but I am beginning to fall in love with her again (yes, I know I’m an idiot). After a few hang ups, she tells me that if I don’t send her money, she’s going to start having sex for money again:
“I cannot send you money right now.”
“I spent all my money in Thailand. I have no money left.”
“Send me 4,000”
“You don’t love me.”
“I do love you. Just because I can’t send you money doesn’t mean I don’t love you. Do you just love me for money?”
“No. I love you for you. I love you as a person.”
This back and forth goes on for about 20 minutes. She just doesn’t understand that I have no money to send to her. And even if I did, I probably wouldn’t. But her anger towards me is very strong. She starts telling me that she doesn’t love me, but if I send her money, she will love me. So now I feel that if I do send her money, I’ll just be buying her love. This is not the kind of relationship that I (or anyone) want. The conversation this morning ended like this:
“You cannot send me money?”
“No. I cannot.”
“Then I go with the man.”
<she now starts making orgasmic sounds like she’s having sex with someone else>
“I do love you, May.”
“I don’t believe. Stupid. Goodbye!”
And that’s how it ended. Now the truth of the matter is I have money that I could send her. But I need to wire it home to pay off my credit card bill (which is huge now thanks to a week in the LOS). Was I wrong to lie to her? Should I send her money? Maybe I’m giving up on something really great here. I do have fun with her. She makes me laugh and smile, and I’ve never felt this way about any of the girls I dated back home. My instinct says that I absolutely made the right decision, and I think you’ll agree with me. But any feedback is welcome.
I truly do love her, and have a wonderful time when I’m with her, so it’s quite difficult to get through the days at the moment. Hopefully it will get easier in a few weeks, but I think that it’s probably over between May and I. If you’ve read this long diatribe of a tale, I thank you. And I promise that what I have written here is completely true. I have no reason to fabricate such a long story. All names are completely legitimate; I haven’t changed them just in case one of May’s other boyfriends or A’s boyfriends read this site. Finding Stickman’s site probably saved my life from financial and emotional ruin. Again, I appreciate any feedback. Thank you.
Cut her free…