Good Girl And A Nice Guy 1/3 The Beginning
“Good Girl” & Nice Guy 1/3 – The Fun Beginning
I have been trying to write this for two weeks now, and I finally think I have the proper ending. This is the tale of a one sided Long Distance Relationship with a Thai girl living in America and Thailand. I will admit, my story is very similar to most here on Stickman’s site, except perhaps my ignorance and inexperience. I am 23, and decided in 2003 to embark on a rollercoaster of love with a 23 year old Thai girl (one of those good-girls, oh right), through the internet no less. Luckily the rollercoaster has returned me safely. I am not seeking pity, exactly opposite, I expect numerous “I told you so’s” and welcome hate mail and advice alike.
I am generally a laid back, fun, American guy, and get along with 98% of people I meet. But I always have trouble with relationships beyond friendship, maybe I am shy or maybe I just have no balls, this being said, I set myself up for this relationship. One evening in 2003 I was feeling lonely and was bored out of my mind, so I found myself on a matching site looking at pictures of cute girls. Within an hour I was chatting on MSN to Julie, an Asian girl living in Michigan. For a bit I was thinking she was an American just like me, but slowly found out she was from this country; Thailand, hmm that sounded thirdworldish, I knew nothing about Thailand except the joke where you get smacked in the testicles if you can’t answer: What is the capital of Thailand? (Bangkok) before the prankster gave you a banginthekok, I wonder what would happen if I answered Krueng Thep.
Well I chatted with Julie quite a bit and did plenty of research in the downtime. The internet was an easy enough way to find info, books, and movies about her country and I didn’t want to be the ignorant American. We chatted a lot and it spread to talking on the phone at all hours of the day. I think my roommate thought I was crazy, and yes maybe I was. Indirectly my involvement with her caused my classes to suffer and I now have to retake a class. Our discussions could go on forever and would sometimes get pretty hot. I was even lucky enough to get a 200 dollar cell phone bill, and she got a 400 dollar one. I was convinced I had found an interesting girl and maybe something serious. Her English was decent, nothing spectacular, and I took on the role of advising and correcting mistakes, which made me feel some form of satisfaction. At the same time being a curious person, Julie helped me satisfy a desire to know more about Thailand, surprisingly though indirectly, as she had difficulty naming three countries bordering Thailand, but I was more than happy to have Encarta open and answer my own questions.
She was studying English and living with a well to do family, but had nothing to do during the day, so was happy to entertain me on the phone or webcam. After about 2 weeks of talking, I wanted to surprise her so I made an effort to talk to her host family and arranged to send flowers and other gifts. My gifts and charm on the phone worked. In my mind we both were very interested in each other and wanted more than just to meet. She sent me a few gifts or cards, and I returned the favour with more flowers or cards. Initially, I was hesitant to fly to see her because I was knew no one in Michigan and was running low on cash.
About 2 months after first talking, things began to get rocky. I was to leave the country to study in Australia for a year and didn’t have the money or time to fly around the US to see my new internet girlfriend. I wanted to meet Julie, but didn’t really think it was possible given my situation. I let her know this and was hung up on a few times. Then screamed at and sobbed at repeatedly and told that she couldn’t wait for me and if we were so close (St. Louis) we should try to meet before I left. On numerous occasions I was unavailable to answer my phone for an extended period, and I would get an earful about not being there for her. I thought this was weird, but common sense went on holiday. I convinced myself maybe I was being dumb and selfish by ignoring her and did what I could to soothe her as much as possible. I was also blind to the fact that she wasn’t very worldly, current events and expanding knowledge may have been my forte, but she was fascinated with MTV, pop stars, and shopping – all things I hate. I bought some books to learn her language and immediately found that next to impossible, I did however memorize her address so I could write in Thai and English on mail.
Well in February, we met in Chicago (middle ground) and had a great time, did all the touristy things I had seen on prior visits to the windy city, what a cool place. She was attractive to me, maybe not to everyone, or Miss Universe, but I had no problem telling her I thought she was as cute as all the photos we had exchanged in the months prior. She was everything I was hoping for? She was happy to pay for ~40% of the trip, which was down from the half agreed upon, but I had no issues with this. I found out she was very clumsy, losing 3 x $15 dollar bus passes I had purchased and other silly things, but I ignored this. I found out she is a deep sleeper and hates to be interrupted, which was annoying given the fact we were both on holiday, oh well. I also was baffled when why she would hold her feelings in, and pout. I was always used to expressing myself, but I later learned of the concept KrengJai. We talked about me leaving the country and trying to keep in touch. I bought her a golden retriever stuffed toy, and together we named it Pad Thai, and he was there to remind her of me and protect her, something cheesy, but I thought it was a good move at the time, it ends up burning me. I was at least keen on trying an LDR because she would be fairly close to Perth upon return in June, and I already had strong feelings for Julie that would grow stronger. At the airport she cried and while I didn’t like that I actually felt her affection and felt I was committed to her.
Upon arriving in Australia, I immediately sent postcards to Julie as much as I could, and talked to her at least 1 time a day. Flashing forward to late March, I thought we were communicating just fine, occasionally it was hard to get her feelings into words, but I sensed no problems. Well somehow I got tonsillitis (What at first I thought was mono). One night I was very sick with a fever, and the phone rang, I answered and it was of course Julie, I said I couldn’t talk and had to go. Well 30 minutes later it was her again, this time yelling and screaming at me for not wanting to talk. I was quite upset at this, so I yelled back, that I am in bloody Australia and I don’t need a girl calling me everyday to talk, because I was here to have fun, so push off. Well I called back the next day, and said hey I wasn’t feeling to good last night, I like to talk to you, but please understand I need some space for a while. Well this planted the seed that would ultimately leave me devastated. I just needed some space and wanted to meet some new people. She thought I was out screwing around, which was definitely not true. Remember I am this shy guy, who can only date people he meets on the internet? I had a really cool German friend, Marie-Luise, who thought I was silly to commit myself to a girl that I only had been with once. Sounded like my mother's advice too. I guess babies have to burn to know what “the stove is hot” means.
We can see where this one is going….I really liked your thoughts on the things she was interested – and how you felt about those very same things.