Readers' Submissions

My First BarGirlFriend

  • Written by Ben Dover
  • January 13th, 2005
  • 22 min read


By Ben Dover In LOS


As they used to say many years ago on the television show Dragnet, “The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Here is their story.”

A couple of years ago, a good friend of mine (he was single) told me that he was going to Bangkok and asked me go with him. Not knowing any better, I said no. I really did not know much about the nightlife there other than hearing a few jokes about all of the sex in Bangkok without really getting a clear understanding of what it all meant and how it really happened.

I had gotten divorced right around that time and I really just wanted to start my life anew and try to meet some new women. Unlike most divorces American style, our breakup was quite amicable and I was the one who made the request for us to part ways. She could have cleaned me out but she did not. She just wanted to move on with her life and I still love her to death for not taking half of everything that I had worked so hard to attain in my life.

Now I know that a lot of guys are going to think that I am crazy, as have most of my friends who have seen pics of her, but my ex was a model and was the definitive L.A. (Los Angeles) head turner. As we say here, she is an L.A. 10, which means that she is stunningly beautiful with a perfect model body to go along with the face.

But as any man who has been with a stunning, head turner for a while knows, the novelty wears off rather quickly after having sex with the same woman all of the time. Don’t get me wrong, she very much enjoyed having sex, but I never quite felt like I was happy with her. I will not elaborate on this topic for reasons that I shall not get into here as that might be more appropriate for an episode of Oprah or something like that rather than a submission to Stickman.

Anyway, after we got divorced, suddenly I found myself back in the singles market after 4 years of marriage. Well, needless to say, I was turning 39 and I very quickly learned how much things had changed, now that I was single. I had forgotten how hard it can be to pick up Western women. Most of my friends were married or getting married and whenever I hung out with them, I felt like a fifth wheel. It always sucked to see them so happy and affectionate knowing that it would be nearly impossible for me to pick up some fine woman that night and take her home with me while I was with a group of couples. Or perhaps I should say that it always sucked to be with them because I knew that at the end of the night, they would all be getting laid, and I would be returning home empty-handed, other than perhaps a quickie 5 minute date with Rosie red palm and her five friends…

Now I was not raised in California, but rather the Midwestern U.S., so it was only a recent discovery that I realized how beautiful Asian women were, because I never saw any when I was growing up! There should be laws against depriving men of that seeming necessity of life…

I quickly learned how boring my life was and suddenly began to think of my mortality for the first time in my life. Or maybe I began to think about if I was ever going to get laid again and fall in love again…hmmm.

Suddenly, I realized that many of these young and beautiful girls that I see everyday here in L.A. are not really interested in a man my age. Even though I look a little younger than I am, everyone would think that I am some kind of sexual deviant if I were to ask some 21 year girl, who I thought was attractive, out on a date with me. Yet, like most males, these were the girls that I have always been attracted to.

Western women just don’t get it. To them, a woman that is in a man’s ‘age-range’ is usually about 2 to 6 years younger than he is at the time to ensure a good relationship. But Thai girls do not believe that. Thai girls ALL clearly know this simple tenet: To a man, women in our ‘age-range’ are ALWAYS 18-23 years old…REGARDLESS of how old we are!

No matter how old a man is, this age of 18-23 years old is ALWAYS our peak, sexual attraction range for women that we see. Western men also know this (as do men all over the world), but Western and societal taboos seem to eliminate this opportunity for all but the extremely wealthy or famous. Think of Playboy Magazine for a moment with Hugh Hefner at the helm. How often do we see girls pictured with Hef who are in the 67 to 72 year old range that Hef should be searching in (according to most farang females)? Case closed, farang ladies…case closed.

I have worked hard all of my life and have accomplished a lot of things in the business world. I have all of the wonderful things that accompany successful business acumen in the United States. I have 2 cars, one of them is a $100,000 foreign sports car, I live in a million dollar plus home in the hills with views of Los Angeles and I have a job making multiple six figures per year.

Most women would think that I am a great catch or a dream man for that beautiful woman who wants a man to take care of her. Ahhh, but life is not so easy, because here in LA, these young and nubile creatures were trained from an early age that any man 8 to 10 years of age older than they are who wants to date them, is a pervert, as our culture glorifies youth and beauty to the nth degree. And they are also trained to know that for every man like me, there are 10,000 guys who are 100 times richer than I am.

I suppose that if I lived in some jerk water, backwards ass, hick town back in the Midwest or down in the deep South, that I would be the ‘king shit’ with all of my money and possessions, but in L.A., I am just another guy who is divorced at 40 driving a nice car and eating alone every single night of the week, including Fridays and Saturdays. You see, even though I have the things that most women want in a man, one cannot merely walk up to an attractive woman and say, “Hello, I drive an expensive sports car, I make a lot of money, and I live in a million dollar home…do you want to go out with me?”, because he will have the words ‘LOSER’ written all over his forehead if she hears him say anything like that.

And so…as they say in the Olympics, and also in the Farangland dating scene: “Let the games begin…"

Western women always want to play this game of playing ‘hard to get’ and using their sexuality as a bargaining tool only to hook a man, and then they turn into Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde as they gain 40 pounds, grow a beer gut, cut their hair short to make them look like a man, and seem to usually want to stop having sex. Although I must say that my ex-wife did none of those things and still gets asked for her ID all of the time. There is an exception to every rule.

Now I am not a bad looking guy, in fact several girls in my life have said that I was handsome and they all say that I would make the perfect husband and father, so maybe they had ulterior motives. But then again, my mother says that I am handsome also. But those statements don’t make life any easier as far as getting laid is concerned or even finding a quality woman to date. I realized (very quickly) that it would be EXTREMELY difficult to ever find a woman as beautiful as my ex was. I met a lot of bitter, or divorced women, or women with baggage who were in their twilight years and just wanted some guy to take care of them. Yuck! I cannot imagine dating some 35 year old Western woman because in 15 years when I am 55, she will be 50 years old. No thanks! I love the look and smell of those pretty young things that I see rollerblading down the bike path along the beach in Santa Monica wearing bikinis made out of dental floss with asses so tight that you could bounce a quarter off of them. That was what I wanted…not some 40 year old, cottage-cheese ass, that looks like something that my dog just vomited up onto the carpet!

Anyway, over the last 2 years or so, my friend, who had initially asked me to go to Bangkok with him had gone back there probably 5 or 6 more times. On each successive trip he stayed there longer and longer. When he came back one time he showed me a bunch of pictures of some of his Thai ‘conquests’ and I thought that some of them were cute, but there were not really any stunners in the pics that he showed me. Then he started to tell me some of his tales and I began to get intrigued, as does any heterosexual man at the mere mention of a den of moral turpitude where the women actually stalk the men (the reverse of how it is supposed to be in life). Now I kept thinking, this cannot be…getting beautiful girls cannot be this easy.

My friend had told me about Stickman a few times. I did not know who Stickman was or what he was all about (although, now I must admit, that I am truly a disciple of the Stick.), so at first I did not pay much attention to the mention of that name.

Until one day, my friend actually took the time to print out a portion of the site that explains the whole Thailand mystique and what life in Thailand was like. Now he did not just print one or two stories, but rather he printed out about 110 pages for me to read!

I started to read a little bit of it when I was at work and suddenly I was in a trance so deep that someone could have stuck a white hot skewer into my abdomen and I would not have felt a thing. It was like reading about Nirvana (not the musical group for all of you less educated Stick readers). I thought to myself, “Could there really be a place like that on this planet?”

So, for the rest of afternoon at work, I did not get one thing done as I only feigned work to my co-workers when in actuality I was reading about Thailand from Stick’s site. I took my friend’s print out home and I was so transfixed on every page that I read, that I stayed up that first night until about 4AM because I could not stop reading it. Then the next night the same thing happened until I finished it.

And then I had my epiphany. I decided that I wanted to go to Asia, especially, Thailand! I did not know when I would do it, but I knew that it would be soon. So, I started to read Stickman online almost every day for months and months…a habit that I keep to this day. I have been an avid reader of Stick for about 2 years now ever since that one friend of mine went to Bangkok.

Well, I decided to try to start to sample a little bit of a taste of Asia, so I joined an online community of Asian women. Wow, was that an eye opener for me. Never before had I met so many women who were so nice, sweet, honest, open, and innocent, who genuinely wanted to meet a Western man. And talk about beautiful, these girls put most L.A. 8s, and 9s to shame with their beauty and demure looks.

I began to like a few of the girls that I chatted with from countries all over Asia, so I said to myself, “You only live once!” and I started to plan my trip to Asia.

I went to several countries all over Asia and traveled around for about a month. It’s nice not to have to worry about money…

Along the way, I met several of these women that I had been chatting with online and had some fantastic times with them. Some truly unforgettable experiences, I must say.

But on my 2nd to last stop on my first Asia trip, I ended up in the LOS.

Night Number 1

My first night there, I got dressed to go out and went to a local night club and I could not believe my eyes. There was a ratio of men to women, or should I say men to girls, of about 3 to 1. It was unbelievable! There were beautiful young 18, 19, and 20 year olds all over the place. It was like it was ladies night at the local pub near a major college campus, except at this club, men were not allowed in!!

My neck started to hurt within about 10 minutes from all of the rubber necking that I was doing watching all of these sensual creatures parading all around me and cavorting on the dance floor only 10 feet in front of me.

You see, although my friend had told me about the girls in Bangkok, until you go there, you really have no concept of how things are really are there and how absolutely backwards the interaction is between men and women.

Immediately, there were several things that struck me as quite odd and abnormal. It almost seemed like I was being watched on some sort of hidden camera television show and at any moment, all of my friends were going to jump out from around the corner and start pointing and laughing to me. Suddenly I started to get VERY uncomfortable around all of these women. Let me explain what I mean…

What I am used to is the culture here in the U.S. where men have to ‘hunt down’ women. An example would be as follows: say that a man is walking down the street in any downtown in America and suddenly he sees a beautiful woman walking towards him. Being a man, of course he is checking her out and staring at her as she approaches. But the moment that she notices his eyes checking her out, she IMMEDIATELY looks away and never looks at him again as she passes him by. The reason why is that she does not want to give any man the idea that she might like him, for fear of God knows what. Women here are so f#*@ed up! She is afraid that, God forbid, he might actually be a nice guy, like her, and want to ask her out. But she is having none of that. Stupid bitches! I’m really not angry, it’s just that many of them really ARE that way!

I guess that’s why I never have felt like a letch here in America because even though I stare at beautiful women all of the time, I know that they will not be staring back at me. I guess that it is kind of like pornography…you never feel weird looking at it by yourself, alone at home. But you would certainly feel like quite the ‘consummate pervert’ were you to be seen reading a Playboy magazine…on a bench…at a public park…on a Saturday afternoon!

So, back to the bar. Now why was I feeling so uncomfortable around all of these beautiful young girls? Because I immediately noticed that ALL of these girls where actually checking ME out instead of the other way around! I began to wonder if I had spilled something on my shirt or perhaps I had a huge piece of food lodged between my teeth and they couldn’t help but stare, but a quick bathroom check verified that that was not the case.

These sexy young things would actually walk back in forth right in front of me and stare at me, never losing eye contact, as they gently glided by me, smiling the entire time.

Finally, after about 30 minutes of this female gawking, I was beginning to enjoy being the center of attention. Being somewhat of a teetotaler, I was stone sober this entire time. So it was much harder for me to approach one of these ladies without a heavy dose of liquid courage to make my balls big enough to be able to handle a rejection from a model-looking, 20 year old. But this thought of rejection was not to be, on my first night in ‘The Land of Vertical Smiles’ (The LOVES)

One of the first girls that I had seen when I arrived at the bar was a true Thai stunner. Well, let me rephrase that, she was a true stunner for ANY woman, ANYWHERE in the world! She was about 5’7” tall, with long silky black hair, creamy white skin, hip hugger jeans that were ‘air-brushed’ on, wearing sexy heels with straps making her about 5’10” tall, with a tight white tube top and a bare midriff exposing her perfectly, flat stomach. And to top it all off, she had a face like a model. She looked like a Playboy Playmate, only better…MUCH better!

So I walked up to her friend, who was standing right next to my Thai princess, and I started talking to her and she immediately knew why I was there. After about 10 seconds of idle chit chat, she asked me if I liked her friend, to which I said ‘yes, of course I do’. She said, in her Thai ‘pigeon English’, “She like you, too. You go talk my friend.” So I did.

So I walked over to her friend and this exquisite Thai creature and I chatted for about 5 minutes with all of the standard stuff like what is your name, where are you from, how long are you going to be here and stuff like that and then she said it…those magic words that will mesmerize any mere mortal man who does not look like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, “Do you want to have sex with me?”

WHAT? EXCUSE ME? I don’t think that I heard you right. Did she just say what I think that she said? Yes, indeed she did. She then asked me if I wanted to take her to my hotel.

As this was the first time that I have ever been propositioned by a woman that was this stunning looking, I decided to take it slow. I said sure let’s go and talk (what a dumb ass I was!), so I took her hand and we went to my hotel lobby and chatted for a short time. I found myself absolutely looking her over constantly just to make sure that this was not some sort of dream where the dark lighting of a disco leads to a sorry awakening at bar time when the lights come on. But with this sweet young thing, she was even more striking in the light. Beautiful milky-white colored skin, that was oh so silky smooth to the touch and a velvet soft, sweet voice that sounded like she was still in high school. Just so that Stick readers know, I could give a rat’s ass how light or dark the skin is, so long as she has a killer body and a porn star face! Being an avid reader of the Stick, I was quite concerned that this girl was in fact a ‘professional’, but she assured me on countless occasions that she was not. She said that she just liked to have fun sometimes. There is a God…

Finally we went upstairs to my room where she immediately went into the bathroom and I thought to myself, ‘Does she have some sort of urinary tract infection? She just went to the bathroom in the lobby a few minutes ago and a little while before that when we were at the club.’ Then after a minute or so, I heard her turn on the shower. I thought to myself, ‘What the fuck is she doing?’, I just want to make love to her and suddenly she feels this sudden inexplicable urge to take a shower? Then I thought, do I smell? Nope, that can’t be, I had just taken a shower less than an hour before. Anyway, she smelled so clean and sweet when we first met an hour ago, I could not fathom as to why she would think that she had somehow gotten ‘dirty’ within the last 60 minutes or so. As I later learned, this is one of the good things about the ‘Thai way’ of doing things.

After a few minutes, she turned the shower off, she emerged from the bathroom with the towel wrapped around her slender hourglass shaped body. She approached the bed slowly, her arms at her sides, smiled demurely, and then she let the towel gently fall off her body down to her fingers and then to the floor exposing her jaw dropping body. I thought to myself, ‘If I die of a heart attack right now, it will all have been worth it.’, which was closely followed by the thought, ‘Here is my ATM card and my PIN number, my checking account over $50,000 USD in it right now, it’s yours for the asking.’

Needless to say, I was truly mesmerized.

But that night was not my time to die, but rather my time to be reborn again. We made love passionately for a few hours and then fell asleep arms wrapped around each other. Of course, when I woke up Mr. Happy was at full attention and I began to stroke her gently to wake up. She kissed me and then gently slithered to the bathroom…again into the shower…and then she emerged with the towel, once again, wrapped around her body. Then we made love again. This is the life! This is what I have been missing. This is what I have been searching for my entire life. Why did I not listen to my friend and come here years ago? What the hell am I doing building a war chest in my bank and retirement accounts back in America, eating and sleeping alone every weekend, when I could spending it here in Bangkok instead…now…when I am still relatively young?

Then, after we got dressed and got ready to go, she said yet another amazing thing to me. “What you do today?” I said that I didn’t have anything to do because I was on vacation. She said, “I show you Bangkok.” I said, “OK.” She offered to take me around Bangkok and show me the sights in a car. Knowing that most people were dirt poor in Bangkok, I asked her whether she owned a car and she said, “No, my brother have car. He let me use.” Great, I had a native, incredible-looking, knockout to take me around the city to see the sites. I offered her money, knowing that she was poor or might have been a 'pro', but she refused to take it.

Well, she had to go home first, because she was wearing her clothes from previous night and we agreed to meet later in the early afternoon for our sojourn around the city. No money changed hands and she never expected any.

She left after breakfast and I took it upon myself to walk around for a bit to get acquainted with my locale and then the unthinkable happened. As I walked down the street, I began to see beautiful girl after beautiful girl after beautiful girl walking right past me. Now, certainly some were not that attractive, some were average looking, but a few were absolutely fashion model beautiful. Were my eyes playing tricks on me? Oh no, Mr. Farang Newbie…this is the LOS!

Suddenly, I realized that last night was not a fluke, but that I could have any number of lovelies whenever I pleased, albeit some ladies being of the "It's been a business doing pleasure with you!" variety.

So I called that girl that I slept with that previous night and told her that I could not make it and she understood. I do not know why, but she just did. I have discovered on later trips to the LOS, that no matter how beautiful a Thai girl is, they always know that there a thousand that are much prettier than she is all within 1 square kilometer of where you are from any point in Bangkok. I suppose that this is a good thing for us farangs because then they never get stuck up like beautiful Western women always do! But I must say that my first Thai girl WAS drop-dead, head-turning, beautiful and that was ONLY my first night in the LOS!

Next, we will meet my first BarGirlFriend, coming up in Part 2…

Stickman's thoughts:

Wow, you will be responsible for the population of America declining with submissions like this!