Stickman Readers' Submissions January 20th, 2005

My First BarGirlFriend Part 3

By Ben Dover In LOS

Like before…As they used to say on Dragnet, “The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Here is their story.”

To quickly recap Part 2, I had just diffused a major catastrophe in the making when Porn and her roommate had ‘bumped into’ Nan and I at Soi Cowboy, after which Porn walked off with her roommate…

mens clinic bangkok

So, I took Nan home with me that night to my hotel and when I got back to my hotel, the bell boys, and doormen did not seem too overtly pleased that I was bringing this hot Thai girl into the hotel with me. Now they did not know that she was a bargirl
because she was dressed kind of casual, but not in a ‘I can suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch’ kind of way, but rather she was dressed somewhat like a college student. But I suppose that no matter how casually or professionally
dressed that she was, I would probably guess that they would assume that she was a bargirl regardless of what she was wearing because she had a very hot body. The hotel workers and the doorman in the lobby area gave me the normal Sawasdee ‘Crap’
stuff and we proceeded up to my room.

Well, when we got up to my room, Nan was very shy. She went into the bathroom to take a shower and came out some time later. Well, I had been enjoying Thai TV (kind of an oxymoron…I know), even though I could not understand a god damn word of what they
were saying, somehow I still found it to be mildly entertaining.

Anyway, as she approached the bed she clung tightly to the towel as if underneath that bath towel lay the crown jewels. Not in snotty or bitchy way, mind you, but rather in an ultra shy and demure kind of way. So she got up on the bed and laid down next
to where I was sitting. I took this as my cue to go and take a shower as well, even though I had just taken a shower but a few hours before.

So I cleaned up and came out a few minutes later. She was still wrapped up in her towel lying on top of the bed on her back with her feet still on the floor, when I came out of the bathroom.

I walked over to the bed and then she slowly sat up and unwrapped herself like she was peeling away the petals from a flower. And then I SAW it…she had a cock!!!

No, just kidding. Actually, this girl had the most amazing body that one does not see every day.

She had the most incredible pair of large natural DD-cup breasts that were at their height of perfection as one would expect on a 19 year old girl in Asia. She only weighed about 108 pounds and was about 5 feet 7 inches tall and had a beautiful hourglass
figure with that beautiful, sexy, whispy black hair on her pussy that I love so much! Asian girls are so much sexier than Western women…even Asian women’s pubic hair is more attractive than Western women's pubes!

wonderland clinic

Well, one of the first things that I noticed was that she had a couple of those caterpillar-sized, purple lesions on her body that look like raised scars. I have seen these on several Thai girls and I still do not know what the hell that is, but they
are probably genetic skin conditions from birth due to the inbreeding within the relatively pure Thai race.

Now these scars were not huge, but they were certainly noticeable. I think that Nan was extremely self conscious of her body at this point, but I made her feel comfortable by constantly telling her how beautiful her body was, which was NOT a lie anyway!

Well, needless to say, although Nan had this gorgeous body, she really was a novice in the sack, so it was not a fantastic time that we had, but it felt good for both of us as she seemed to enjoy herself. For most of us men, sex is kind of like pizza…no
one has ever really had a ‘bad’ pizza, but everyone has had some GREAT pieces over the years!!! Even though she was a novice, I noticed that she rather quickly acquired a taste for the ‘sausage’ with her pizza… 😉

Well, the next morning we woke up and had sex again, but this time she seemed to get into it a bit more, as did I. She seemed to like this new found aggressiveness on my part.

Well, Nan was such a hottie, that I asked her if I could take some pictures of her to which she said yes. She seemed to really enjoy having her picture taken and she is VERY photogenic. Over the next few days I proceeded to take a couple of hundred digital
pics of Nan and I burned her a CD-R disc of her pics as well, which made her extremely happy. She hugged me tightly and thanked me profusely for the kind gesture. For some Thai girls, it’s really the little things that make them happy…so
long as you also pay them… ; )

As I just mentioned, Nan and I spent the next few days together exploring restaurants and shopping malls all over Bangkok…as well as each other. But my mind kept wandering back to Porn, and her body, and the way that she danced, and her face, and her
silky soft skin, and the smell of her hair. I couldn’t get her out of my mind.

I secretly called Porn a couple of times while Nan and I were together, but she did not want to see me. She was still mad. Or at least feigning anger, as so many Thai girls do.

After a few days of gentle pleading and sweet-talking on my part, Porn finally agreed to meet me. I then told Nan that I was going to go to Vietnam to do some sight-seeing and she bought it. I checked out of my hotel and Nan and I hugged and kissed goodbye
near the hotel entrance. I took the first taxi and got in and she waved as I drove off. I noticed that she had begun to cry as my taxi pulled away from the hotel, but I was a man on a mission.

After a few blocks, I told the driver to turn around and take me to a different hotel that I had lined up for my stay. He did not understand and kept insisting that reversing direction was NOT the way to the airport. He did not want to turn around because
he wanted that big fare to the airport instead of a short local trip! He did not realize my ruse, but finally agreed to take me to another nearby hotel.

I got out, checked into the hotel, and then grabbed another taxi and off I went to Porn’s apartment. When I arrived she gave me a hug, but the mood was not quite as warm as it had been during our previous time together.

Well, I brought her back to my hotel and I told her that I wanted her to stay with me for a few days until I left for America and that was my actual intention. Well, over the next two days, we had a good time, but I could tell that Porn was still thinking
about Nan and she kept questioning me about her. This girl was not even my girlfriend yet, she was somewhat jealous of Nan and her tall hourglass figure with huge breasts.

Finally, 2 nights later, Porn got a call from her sister who said that her sick mom now wanted Porn to go home as well. So the next morning when we woke up I was feeling rather frisky, but then, Porn got another call from her sister which made Porn kind
of frantic. Porn told me that she was supposed to meet her mother THAT same morning! I asked her what she meant, because Porn was supposed to take a bus for 7 hours back to her hometown to visit her mother there. I told her that she cannot possibly
get home by the morning because it is already 10 AM and it takes 7 hours to get to her house, not including the time that it takes to go to the bus station. Porn then explained to me that her mother was at her apartment…in Bangkok…right now…waiting
for her!!! What???

I wondered how that could be if her mother, supposedly stricken with ‘leg’ cancer, finds the energy to take a 7 hour bus ride to visit her daughter in Bangkok?! Hmmm, something is smelling kind of fishy now, and the smell is certainly not
coming from between my cute little Teerak’s slender legs…but instead it is coming from her mouth…via her words.

So she raced to get dressed and we jumped in a taxi to go over to her apartment and while we were driving over there, I suddenly realized, ‘Hey, wait a minute, am I supposed to go up to her apartment to meet her parents???’ Jesus, she was
just a bargirl and suddenly I was going to meet her parents!!! Yikes!

I had assumed that her parents were the typical Thai parents who tell their daughters to go work in the city and be a bargirl to send them some money home, which I find to be so rapacious and reprehensible. It is almost like your family sells you into
sex slavery and I HATE that facet of Thailand!!! But even if they had done that, how in the hell was I going to explain to her parents, who undoubtedly spoke not a word of English, the fact that I, a 40 year old farang, was the same man had been
(as far as they thought) fucking their 18 year old daughter the previous night?

Suddenly, I felt like such a creep right then (even though I am NOT!!!). On top of that, Porn was freaking out on the way to her apartment because she finally was able to explain to me that her parents did NOT know that she was a bargirl and told me that
they would be very hurt and really pissed if they ever found out. She was VERY scared and agitated. Great, now I was going to meet her parents at the same time they were going to find out for the first time ever, that their precious little Porn
was in fact, actually a stripper, who also happened to have sex with farangs for money. This meeting was definitely NOT going to be a Norman Rockwell moment (a famous American painter who often painted lovely, happy scenes of traditional and happy
families). Not a pretty picture as you can imagine.

Finally we got close to Porn’s apartment and as we approached her soi she suddenly turned to me and asked me for 5,000 baht. WHAT??? FIVE THOUSAND BAHT??? For what?

She said that she needed the money to pay her rent and to give her mom some money as well. Well, at this point, I certainly did not want to meet her parents right after we had slept together, so I thought it prudent to let Porn explain her new found profession
to her family by herself. This would be far better than having me accompanying her as one of her ‘customers’, looking like a dumb shit, in her tiny, cramped apartment/room, while standing only 3 feet away from her parents as she
would quietly try to explain to them in Thai, that she was, in fact, actually a prostitute.

I imagined Porn standing there next to me with her parents facing both of us, while her parents would listen to and look at Porn talking, then glance over at me, then glance back at their daughter, then back at me until the light bulb went off in their
head. That was definitely NOT what I came to Thailand for. I’ll pass on that one.

Porn asked if I was going to come up and so I asked her why she did not ask me for the money earlier, at least to give me some advanced warning, but she had no answer for that question because she could not even think straight. She then told me that her
mother was the one who had called earlier that morning when we were at my hotel, not her sister! Now I know why she was freaking out that morning.

Additionally, Porn had told her mother (during that morning conversation in my hotel bed) that she was going to go to the bank to withdraw money out of her account to give some to her mother.

By now the taxi had stopped in front of Porn’s side street leading to her apartment and she said, “You give me money, up to you.”

Then, I asked her if banks were open that day because I knew that it was a public holiday and then another look of terror swept over Porn’s face. Now she also had to explain to her parents that she had ALSO lied about going to the bank to withdraw
money from her account. Suddenly, her face turned white as a sheet, and she had this frightened look of terror on her face.

By this point, I knew that I did not want to be anywhere near this Jerry Springer ‘family disaster in the making’, so I opened up my wallet and gave her the money, pulled (or rather slammed) the taxi door shut behind her, and told the driver
to go.

As we pulled away, I turned back to look at Porn and she just stood there and looked at me for a second as we drove off and then turned to run down the side street to her apartment.

Even though I had just given her 5,000 baht, I thought that I had gotten off lightly, because meeting some bargirl’s parents was certainly NOT on my itinerary while I was in Bangkok!

Anyway, Porn and I tried to meet up again over the next couple of days, but it did not work out and finally I flew home to Los Angeles.

Porn and I kept in touch with each other over these last few months and we have become quite close friends, although she expects more from the relationship than I want to commit to. However, I do genuinely like her. Shortly after I left Bangkok she went
back home to live with parents on the family farm and to finish her high school as well.

We have emailed many times and have also spoken on the phone many times since then as well.

Now, I am making yet another sojourn to the LOS very shortly and I am looking forward to seeing Porn again.

Recently I found out that Porn will be having her 19th birthday while I am to be in Bangkok. Wow, that would be great, because I love taking care of women on their birthday, especially hot women like Porn. I will take her shopping to MBK and the Emporium
and buy her a bunch of hot and sexy clothes for her to wear, which will basically also be a present for me to dress up my little Thai Barbie doll and turn her into a walking Asian hottie, with porn star looks! Besides, that’s chump change
for farangs, anyway, but for her it’s like a once in a lifetime shopping spree to 5th Avenue in New York City!!!

So, not knowing how birthdays work there in the LOS, I made yet another ‘fatal’ mistake. I asked her what she wanted for her birthday when I returned next time. She said nothing or the usual, “Up to you.” Whew…train wreck

After some prodding, I told her that I did not know what special thing that she might want for her birthday, thinking that a poor Thai girl would ask for some meager, trivial present or maybe a gold necklace or something like that. Also, I did not really
know her that well, so I did not know what kinds of things that she liked or disliked and I did not want to buy her something useless or that she could not, or would not, use.

So, although good American brand condoms might have been a good and practical present to invest in her safety showing compassion and caring on my part during her bargirl romps, it would not have been too romantic, as you can imagine.

But then, it happened. I was an idiot. I just couldn’t accept “Up to you” as a legitimate answer. So I kept pushing her to tell me what she really wanted for her birthday. After some rather determined prodding over the course of a
couple of phone conversations, she said something that totally floored me. She said, “I want car for my birthday.” What??? Huh???

I said, “Excuse me…you want a CAR??? Is that correct? Did you say that you want me to buy you a CAR for your birthday?” to which she replied, “Yes, I want car.”

I was thinking to myself, ‘You have got to be fucking kidding! Gee, honey, what kind of car would you like? A BMW 760? A Mercedes S600? An Aston Martin Vanquish? How about a Bentley?’

And while we’re playing ‘Who Wants to be a Thai Millionaire’ why don’t you just ask me for a Ferrari instead???!!! But, I guess that not too many coconuts would fit into the trunk of a Ferrari, to sell at the market, anyway…
; )

Then, I asked her if she could as least drive a car and she said, “No”. I almost broke out laughing, but I could tell that she was serious about her request. Not that she was being demanding, but that she was just not making a joke about
her birthday wish. Strange as it may seem, I did not want to embarrass my little angel with what I thought may have been a very serious cultural and social faux pas on her part.

Jesus Christ…maybe she should have asked me for a Lear jet instead, because, God knows, she certainly can’t fly that either!!!

Well, I patiently proceeded to tell her how rude that it was for her to ask me for that and I then told her about all of the things that bargirls ask for and all of the tricks that they pull on farangs who look like walking ATMs to Thai women. I told
her that I was NOT a bank and reminded her of how she blindsided me with the money thing when she was getting out of the taxi on my last trip the LOS. She seemed to feel bad. I don’t really know if she did in fact feel guilty, so the key
phrase there is ‘seemed to’ feel bad, although she seemed very saddened by what she had done.

She explained to me that the car wasn’t for her, but that it was for her parents. But wait a minute, her parents were farmers. What on earth would farmers need a car for? She said that it would be easier for her parents to take the vegetables to
the city to sell because her parents are old. Now, wait a minute, honey…if you want to take vegetables to the market, wouldn’t a truck be more practical than a car?

Well, now that we are talking about trucks, what kind of a truck would you like, my princess? A Range Rover? A Lincoln Navigator? Or, for those treacherous, unpaved roads in Northwestern Thailand, how about a Hummer? Perfect!!! Yeah, that will make her
parents, who earn about 60,000 baht per month, be the envy of the village. Maybe, if she is really nice, I will throw the heavy duty towing package, the 10 speaker Bose surround system along with built in TV screens in the back of every headrest.

And another thing…hold on for just a second…her parents are how old again? She is only 18 and I am 40, so her parents must be just about as old as me. Yet, I get along just fine and go jogging several times per week. Give me a break…her parents
can walk the god damn vegetables to the market to sell for all I care. And how were they carrying their vegetables to market BEFORE she met me??? Hmmm, food for thought. No pun intended.

Porn also said that it would also be easier for her parents to take the fish to the market to sell. Fish? What fish? Hey, wait a minute, her parents also have a fish farm??? Yeah, right, sure honey, and I own the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

And where is this supposed fish farm anyway? Don’t fish live in lakes? What poor Thai family owns enough land to have a LAKE on the property??? This was getting kind of ridiculous now and I was getting rather perturbed by all of this.

Fortunately, I was only attached to this girl’s body (and the way that she moved it on the dance floor…or rather, the dance stage) and not her mind, or I might have felt like slapping her up, side the head, when she asked me for the car as a

So, I told her (in no uncertain terms) that I will not buy her a car, now, or ever, that I will not buy her parents a car either, and that I will not ever give her any money again and she then became very quiet. I explained to her, that as long as we
are together, that she will never have to ask me for money, because I will pay for everything like meals and entertainment, but that I will not support her, OR her family…EVER!!!!

I think that she got the hint, because since then, she has not brought up the subject of money even once. In fact, even when we talk about issues that are related to money, even tangentially, she refuses to discuss those things because she is embarrassed
that she asked me for such an unreasonable gift before. I am 100% certain that she now realizes what she had done.

So here are 8 useful lessons that I have gleaned from my second trip to the LOS:

1) Most bargirls lie about a LOT of stuff, but not everything.

2) Some Thai girls actually have HUGE natural breasts!

3) If a hot Thai girl offers you a blowjob when you wake up in the morning, take it.

4) No matter how beautiful that you think your current teerak is, there is another one who is twice as gorgeous…waiting for you right around the corner…and the new one will be so hot in bed, that she will make the previous one seem like an inexperienced
virgin on prom night who doesn’t know the difference between a rim job and a blowjob!

5) Thai women are like a nuclear reactor whose water has just boiled off, preceding a runaway, chain-reaction, meltdown event…if they ever catch you with another woman.

6) Cancer in Thailand means that you have a sore knee.

7) Never turn your BarGirl into your GirlFriend, because then she will become a BarGirlFriend and it is nearly impossible to split these apart again.

8) And finally, NEVER…NEVER…ask a bargirl what she wants for her birthday!!!

…More adventures with me and My first BarGirlFriend – Part 4, coming soon!

Stickman's thoughts:

What's worst of all is that some guys would have actually bought her a car!

nana plaza